Best Friends No More
by TragicallyMagical
Summary: “What is it that you want Paul?” I asked seriously. He started to stroke my hair and a superior grin appeared on his face, “I want you Sammy."I brought my hand up to his face and placed it onto his cheek,“I want you too." Paul OC full summary in chap 2
1. Chapter 1

**and yet another idea pops into my head haha XD**

**well i hope you all like this...it's a prologue and don't worry I will be explaining everything throughout the story ;]**

**i hope everyone enjoys it!  
**

Prologue

Best Friends No More

I walked up to the all too familiar house that belonged to my best friend, Paul Alldredge. I've known him since the first grade and never in his life has he been out of school for more than two weeks. He's never avoided me before either which seems a little…strange. Ok, I lied…it's really strange. But I actually had a reason for coming over here. He's the one it's going to be hard to say goodbye to. We've been inseparable ever since we met. Of course I don't want to do it, but I have no choice…

My stomach kept flip flopping inside of me and I couldn't help, but feel nervous of what I might see. I mean I tried to call, but he wouldn't pick up. Was I crazy to think that my friend was getting sick of me? Well, I guess today would answer that question. I made a mental image of what he looked like in my mind. The only reason why I did this was because I was a little afraid of what I might see and if he did look terrible, then this image would be the last thing I have to remember him by. He might not even be here for all I know.

A huge husky laugh interrupted my thoughts. I guess he is here and he's…laughing?

I knew that laugh anywhere. I could point it out in a huge crowd full of sixteen year olds. Nothing could compare to the way he laughed. But it did sound a little bit deeper in a sense. Maybe he had a sore throat or something.

I suddenly realized that I was still standing outside in the freezing rain. My hand was raised to pound on the door, but I wasn't brave enough to actually knock. I heard more voices coming from the inside, all of them very deep and very similar. This was the first time I ever felt nervous about seeing my friend. I mean Paul was always the one who protected me when some asshole started to harass me, particularly an asshole named Sam Uley.

I shook my head and groaned, _Just do it, _I told myself.

Before I could bring my hand back to my side I knocked exactly four times. For a slight second I squeezed my eyes shut and then I opened them again. One pair of loud footsteps came towards the door and I took a couple deep breaths. I can't cry when I tell him…

My head was pointed towards the ground and I heard the door swing open. My hands were shaking and I was soaking wet from the walk I had to take to get here. Bravely, I raised my head up, only to see what I half expected to happen. He changed, a lot. And he was wearing only cut off shorts with no shirt on, showing off his newly perfected muscles that I've never seen before. I mean yeah he was always a muscular guy, but never in my life did I know that Paul was capable of having an…eight pack.

His hair was cut really short, a buzz cut I'm sure. Not to mention how tall he's gotten. That one fact made me frown, I always liked that we were the same height.

Then I met his gaze, an unfamiliar gaze. Whenever our eyes met my heart would jump, but now I was cringing from the glare he gave me. The way he looked at me wasn't warm at all, it was painfully cold. No smile either. His lips were set straight. He used to smile widely when he saw me…not any more.

"Why are you here Sammy?"

At that point I wanted to cry. His tone was harsh and he basically growled at me. That's when I knew that the mental image would truly be the last memory I have of my best friend, Paul Alldredge.

**Paul's last name is actually a Quileute Elder's last name. I looked it up, do you like it? **

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!  
**


	2. 1 The Beginning

**hope you like it ;]**

**please review!  
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Chapter 1

The Beginning

It all started with a simple giving of a brownie. I remember the date perfectly. February fourteenth, two thousand, Valentine 's Day. A bully named Sam Uley stole my lunch. I could've tried to take it away, but who was I kidding? Sam was huge, not to mention five years older than me. I stared down at the table and just before a tear could escape from my eye someone was holding a brownie in their hand right under my face. I looked up at the boy sitting next to me; he had the biggest smile on his face with his hair on either side of his face, revealing the dark chocolate eyes that resembled the small brownie he was holding.

"You can have mine," he smiled wider and I could see an empty space where his tooth should've been.

It was unusual for a girl to ever talk to a boy in my grade, but I wasn't like the other girls and I didn't care either. The girls would carry Barbie lunch boxes while I brought my lunch in a simple brown bag. I was never really into the latest fashion trends, so usually kids would think I looked weird.

I took the brownie out of his hand and started nibbling on it. With my mouth full of the chocolaty mess I said, "Thanks."

He nodded his head at me and watched as I devoured the only thing I had to eat. It was really really tasty and I immediately found myself licking the left over chocolate that was on my fingers.

"I'm Paul," he said to me and I barely even noticed that his seat moved closer to mine. He reached out his hand and I quickly wiped mine with a napkin and accepted it.

"I'm Sammy," I smiled at him.

Little did I know that we would soon become best friends. From that point on Paul and I would always eat lunch together, getting constant stares from both the boys and the girls. Neither of us cared though. We were too interested in our conversations about superheroes to care. I know most of the boys were supposed to be into superheroes, but I was too. There was nothing wrong with that because Paul didn't seem to care and his opinion was the only one that mattered to me.

Whenever Sam Uley would try to push me around Paul would be there to defend me. And he was tough too, so Sam didn't bother with trying to hurt me anymore. This meant that I could actually eat my lunch with my best friend and he wouldn't have to give away part of his sandwich or his apple so I wouldn't starve.

That one day changed my whole life. There was not a day without me seeing Paul at school because he was an abnormally healthy kid. But on those rare occasions when he was sick he would always remember to call my house and let me know that he didn't forget about me. Yeah, I know it's a little weird for a couple of grade school kids, not to mention a boy and a girl, to be that close and never once think that the other had cooties or something. We weren't like everyone else, we thought of ourselves as unique people.

So a couple of years passed and then we made it to the sixth grade. It was probably one of the hardest years I've ever had to live through, but Paul managed to help me get through it, no surprise there. See that was the year that my mother was killed in a car accident. She was coming to pick me up from Paul's house and a drunk driver hit her head on. I would constantly blame myself for the accident, Paul thought otherwise. Of course, he was at the funeral when I needed him the most. And he was there when I needed to talk to him about things that were bugging me. I even had to go to therapy because my mother's death had affected me so much. It was the roughest time in my life, but I got through it because of my best friend.

More years flew by. We graduated from grammar school, both of us passing with flying colors. We'd occasionally call ourselves nerds because we were so smart. I think half of the reason why I passed was because of…hmm let's see…Paul.

Our freshman year at La Push high school was ok. We became buddies with a kid named Jared soon after we started there. It didn't take us long until we included him into our little group of friends. I mean it's pathetic that we call ourselves a group, but who cares, we sure didn't. So one day at lunch Paul and I did a little initiation for Jared. We gave him a chocolate brownie made by Paul's mother, Marie Alldredge. He seriously looked at us like we were nuts at first, but he soon ate the thing without asking questions.

The summer came and went by way too quickly. It was one of the best, consisting of pulling pranks on Sam Uley and going to the beach whenever we could. Oh and sneaking out of the house whenever we got grounded and never once did we get caught….knock on wood. Yeah we were a bunch of pranksters in our first year of high school…I blame Jared.

Sophmore year was dreadful. It was constant stress and it seemed as if nothing was simple. And this was the first year that me and Paul didn't speak to each other for a week because it was my time of the month and having a guy as a best friend and all, I got really dramatic and…yeah I think I've explained myself enough. But our relationship seemed to be able to get through thick and thin, no matter what. I had no doubt that this summer would be a memorable one. I was ready for it, even though here in La Push there was no sun. I didn't like tanning so I didn't care. I'd rather not have skin cancer thanks…

Today I was going down to the beach with Paul and Jared, no surprise there. We didn't mind the clouds and the rain so much and the fact that it was supposed to be drizzling today didn't stop us from swimming.

I put my jet black hair into a side pony tail and slowly took off my shirt, revealing my bikini. I heard Paul whistle from beside me and I threw my shirt in his face.

"Creep," I muttered.

Jared started laughing, "He's no creep Sammy you just look hot in a bikini that's all."

"Um, eww…" I got up off of the blanket that was set up on the sand and watched as the two boys I was once sitting next to took their shirts off. I made a gagging noise.

They both rolled their eyes, "You're just jealous that you don't have muscles like these," Paul flexed his arm muscles and winked at me.

"Paul please stop before my breakfast comes back up," I turned my head away from them and started to walk towards the water. Soon enough I heard Paul and Jared get up off of the ground and before I knew it my feet were no longer touching the ground. I started to squirm and I screamed for them to stop, but of course they didn't listen.

I closed my eyes when I felt myself plunge into the water. It was cold, but a refreshing kind of cold and I came up for air, the two of them diving in after me. I swam around for a minute and just enjoyed the peace, but the peace quickly ended when I felt the two of them start to splash me. I splashed back just as fiercely, laughing while I did it. After a couple minutes of splashing I decided to end this so I turned my head, reached my hand out and smashed my palm into Paul's face.

He chuckled once and then he sunk down under the water and before I could even laugh at what I just did to him he lifted me up and slung me over his shoulder. Then he flipped me into the water and I stayed down for a moment before I made my next move.

As I slowly started to open my eyes I heard the deep laughter of the two of them and once I could see Paul's feet in front of me I grabbed both of his ankles and tugged them as hard as I could. He was pretty strong, but I knew I could take him. I wasn't some sissy girl and I wasn't about to let him beat me. For a second or two he didn't move out of place, so I tugged harder until I could tell that his ankles were getting weaker. Finally he slammed into the water. I smirked at what I just did and then I came up for air. Jared was staring at me, shaking his head from side to side.

I regained my breath quickly, "What?" I said.

"You so don't act like a girl," he raised a single brow at me as we waited for Paul to come back up.

I rolled my eyes, "No not all the time, but I don't care," I shrugged my shoulders and looked around the water, realizing that he still hadn't come up, "Jared…where is he?" I scanned the ocean around me, but there was still no sign of him.

My eyes glanced at Jared for a minute and I noticed that he looked just as worried as I did, "Paul!" Jared shouted.

I started to bite my lip and took one deep breath before I dove under the water, not hesitating to open my eyes this time. I looked around for a moment and when I didn't see him I started to panic. What the hell happened to him? I really didn't think that I hurt him that bad…

When I came back up I saw that Jared was out further into the sea and every now and then I would hear him scream Paul's name.

"God damn it Paul," I mumbled to myself.

It was really starting to freak me out. The fact that my friend could be drowning right now scared me. I couldn't lose him like this, not another person I was so close to.

I decided to head closer to the shore while Jared searched the deeper end. What would we do if we couldn't find him? I shivered from the question and immediately put it out of my mind. Each time I bobbed in and out of the water I felt myself getting more and more worried. Seeing as I had no luck with finding him I ran out of the water and onto the sand. I would try anything at this point.

"Paul!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jared looking frantically and heading closer to the shore, "Please Paul," I stopped walking when I reached the blanket that the three of us had set up prior to swimming.

And then, with no warning at all, someone's huge body slammed me down onto the blanket and when I heard Paul laughing hysterically I was about ready to cry. I elbowed him off of me and sat up, pulling my knees in close to my chest and shaking my head from side to side, not even bothering to look at him.

He noticed that I wasn't finding this funny and I heard his laughter slowly turn into a small chuckle and then nothing.

"Why the hell would you think that's funny?" I asked furiously.

He sighed and sat up, "I'm so-,"

"Save it Paul," I turned my head completely away from him and Jared soon appeared in front of us.

"Dude you seriously need to think of better jokes because that was definitely not humorous," he sat on the other side of me and I stared down at my hands now.

Another sigh escaped from his mouth and I could tell that he regrets doing it, "Shut up," he mumbled.

"He's right Paul," I said, "I don't even understand how you could do that to me when you know I've been through so much…with my mom and all. I thought you could've been dead, Paul. How do you think it would make me feel if I saw you dead at the bottom of the ocean floor?" I shot a serious glare at him and he turned his head away, "I'd blame myself for it…"

That's when I decided that I couldn't take this anymore. So I stood up, taking a towel with me, put my flip flops on, picked up my clothes, and started to walk away from them. I actually don't remember the last time that I cried over my mother. The therapy helped me get over it, but what he just did made it all seem worthless.

I noticed that the sky was getting darker and I put my sweater on over my bikini so I wouldn't freeze. It didn't take long for the first drops of rain to fall, making me put my hood on over my head. I really didn't feel like getting pneumonia at a time like this…

"Sammy!" someone exclaimed, but I ignored them.

I crossed my arms over my chest because the rain soon started coming down harder.

"Please wait!" I felt his hand touch the back of my arm and I couldn't help, but stop.

"What's wrong with you?" I decided to yell at him instead of being nice to him. My eyes started to narrow and I gave him the death glare.

He sighed, "I'm a dumb ass. I didn't mean to make you cry, believe me I would never do that to you. It was a stupid joke, a really really stupid ass joke. I should've known better. Just please forgive me Sammy," he looked at me with pleading eyes and I smiled.

"Talk about rambling," I chuckled. It was stupid that I could only stay mad at him for a matter of two seconds, but if it were anyone else then I would surely be pissed…take Jared for instance.

He half smiled and wrapped one arm around my shoulder, "Push over Sammy."

I rolled my eyes; I'm only a push over when you're around, "Stupid ass Paul."

We started to walk home. Both of our house were a couple of blocks away from each other and Paul's house was closer to mine, but he would usually walk me to my house anyways, "So since we only have a couple of weeks left of summer, I was thinking that we could have our fourteenth annual movie weekend."

I snorted, "Horror or action?"

"Definitely horror," he raised his eyebrows, "Whose house was it at last year?"

"Mine because I remember when we snuck out of the house at like midnight and toilet papered Sam Uley's house."

He laughed, "That was the best. He came out of the house and started shaking like he was having a seizure."

I nodded, "And then we ran away and fell in the mud. I still think that I have mud in my hair to this day."

"Good times," he looked at my face and grinned.

"Yup, so we're having it at your house this time. Don't forget to tell your mom to make her fudge brownies," I strictly pointed my finger at him.

"I really don't think she'll forget Sammy, seriously," he shook his head and we walked across the street, "I'm thinking that we should invite Jared this time," he shrugged, "Seems like it's time that we include him into our movie weekend."

"That's fine, just make sure that you tell him to come later so that we can get our first serve of your mom's homemade pizza."

"Wow, you're a pig…"

I punched his side, "Oink oink Paul. You're a dog."

He rolled his eyes, "Woof woof."

We both started to laugh with each other until we finally managed to reach my house. This was one of the days when I was grounded and I'm pretty sure that my dad wouldn't appreciate me coming through the door all wet. So, as usual, we walked around the backyard and I climbed up my tree and jumped through my window. It never seemed to get old…

"Call me?" he said.

I shook my head, "No phone privileges, I'll talk to you on instant messenger tonight though. I'm supposed to be working on an application for some art school my dad wants me to go to."

"Next year?" he looked disappointed.

"Not sure. Talk to you later, bud."

"See ya Sam."

And then I closed my window and smiled at the strange day I had…


	3. 2 Fortune Cookie

**Summary is here!!!!**

Summary: Samantha and Paul have been best friends since the 1st grade, but  
will a sudden change in Paul's attitude ruin it for the both of them? Will  
things ever be the same? Read and find out!

**WARNING!! this chapter contains some swearing! =D**

**and i'd just like everyone to know that there will be a couple of more chapters like this friend stuff (example: the next chapter is probably the movie weekend thing) and then i'll start to get into what the prologue is saying **

**i've noticed that a lot of people are reading this...and if you are then PLEASEEEEE review!!! i love feedback and the more i get the more it helps me write ;]  
**

**ENJOY!!!!**

Chapter 2

Fortune Cookie

After a couple of days of sitting in my room with nothing to do at all because I was grounded I started to do what I do best…and that's drawing. With my sketchbook in one hand and a lead pencil in the other I sat down at my desk that was set up against the wall and under the single window that looked out into the forest. I had gone to art therapy before and discovered that I was a natural when it came to sketching what I feel. Ever since then I found myself drawing everything in sight. It's one of my favorite hobbies now…

I tapped my pencil of the piece of paper that was sitting in front of me and looked around my room for some inspiration. My eyes wandered for a bit until I finally set my eyes on the window in front of me. I reached my hand out and unlocked the window to let in some fresh air. And then I let my fingers do the work, glancing up at the trees in front of me every now and again.

I was starting to get worried because of what my dad had been talking to me about lately. He says there's this fine arts school in New York that I'd love. I said I'd apply and some of the reason as to why I was drawing so much lately is because I need to send in some of my work too. I've always wanted to go to a school that could help me improve in my drawing skills, but then there's Paul…how could I leave him?

"Ugh," I groaned as I realized that I made a huge pencil mark across the page because I was no longer focusing on the drawing. My mind was drifting off into thoughts about what could happen in the near future.

Before I could touch my pencil down onto the paper again, I heard a knock on the door.

"Open," I shouted, my eyes glued to the trees outside of the window.

I heard the creaking of my door as it swung open, my father's footsteps walking towards the desk I was sitting at, "Hey Sammy," he said and I could tell that he was now looking over my shoulder.

"Hi," I kept staring.

He let out one big sigh and then set my cell phone down onto the desk, "Since you actually applied for the school I'm giving you your phone privileges back," he kissed the top of my head, "Don't run up the bill again."

I chuckled and picked up my phone, "I'm not making any promises dad."

He laughed, "See you at seven Sam."

After I heard his car pull out of the driveway I immediately opened up a new text message to send to Paul.

**Phone's back =D**

A couple of minutes passed before I got another text back.

**I see you've been good lately **

My fingers quickly ran over the correct keys.

**Not really…**

Before I pressed send I debated if I should tell him the real reason for why I got my phone back and soon came to the conclusion that if he didn't ask any questions about it then I wouldn't tell him now. My thumb pounded down onto the send button and I got back to my drawing while I waited for another text message.

I first started to make the outlining of each evergreen tree that I saw and I figured that I could put in more detail later. My phone soon started vibrating and I quickly opened it and read the text.

**Ok…new subject. What are you doing right now since you're still grounded? **

I grinned, **drawing of course**

I shaded in the bottom of the page before I received a new message.

**I should've known that's all you ever do when you're grounded**

**Yeah, are we still on for tomorrow night? **

More and more shading and then I started on the detailing.

**Yup bring your saw collection and I'll tell Jared to bring whatever horror movies he has**

**Sounds good, **I replied.

And then I stared down at the picture in front of me and picked up my trusty pink eraser, making corrections wherever I thought I needed it.

When I got a new text I opened up my phone and read over the message, groaning when I was finished.

**So about yesterday…you said your dad wants you to go to some art school?**

Shit….I thought I could get by without telling him…apparently I was wrong. I typed as quickly as possible and scanned over the message before I sent it.

**Yeah, I applied for it, but it doesn't mean I'll get in**

I rested my elbows on the desk and put my face in my hands. It seemed as if it only took him half a second to reply and I was resistant to reading his text. I let my phone sit for a minute or two before curiosity killed the cat.

**Of course you'll get in Sammy, you're one of the most talented people I know…no wait scratch that you are the most talented person I know. Where is it?**

I shuddered from his last words and didn't hesitate to reply this time because I figured it was either tell him now or live with the fact that you lied to your best friend, **it's in New York Paul…**

Ugh, I hate this. Now I really wish I didn't apply to that stupid school. I took one more glance at my paper and then I slammed it shut. Why do things always have to be so complicated?

Before I knew it my phone went off again and this time I picked it up quickly, **Oh, that's great! :]**

I frowned at the text message. Paul wasn't the type of guy who put a smiley face at the end of a text. He actually thought that I putting smiley faces in a message was a waste of space. Obviously he was lying to me…I could even tell without hearing him say it…

Instead of texting him back I dialed his number and it only rang once before he picked it up.

"Stop lying, Paul, you can be angry with me," I said.

He took one deep breath, "I'm not angry at all. It really is great that you get to go somewhere where you can show off your talents."

"But that means leaving La Push….leaving you," I shuddered from the words I just spoke.

"Don't worry about me Sammy. I'll be fine and if it does come to you leaving then you better have your phone on you at all times because you know I'll be calling you every day."

I chuckled, "I really don't know about this. Maybe I'll just deny the acceptance if I get accepted."

"No, definitely not. You cannot waste your talents by staying at a school that provides no art classes whatsoever. If you don't go then I'll-,"

"Ugh! Please Paul stop it!" I cut him off. Before I said something else I waited to see if he would respond, but there was nothing but silence on the other line, "I don't want to leave this place. Do you understand how much you mean to me? Do you have any idea as to how much it would hurt me to leave you? You're my rock, you keep me sane. I wouldn't be able to find anyone else like you in New York," I fought back the tears that started to sting my eyes.

"Sammy," he breathed, "When you care about someone else then you put their needs first. You need to go to this school. It's your dream to become an artist and I'm not going to hold you back from pursuing your dream."

"It'll hurt you Paul," a single tear trickled down my cheek, "Not to mention how much it'll hurt me…" my voice cracked ever so slightly.

"Damn I've made you cry twice this week…I'm such an asshole," he said, sounding angry.

I was barely even starting to cry yet and he knew just by my voice that something was off, "Don't call yourself that…you're not an asshole. This is just me being hormonal," I wiped the stupid tear away with my index finger.

I heard him sigh on the phone, "Want me to come over there Sammy?" he asked, his tone a little calmer than it was two seconds ago.

"I doubt you can….and anyways I don't want you to have to deal with the tears, I'll be fine," I breathed through my mouth since my nose was getting stuffy from the salt water that was coming out of my eyes.

He chuckled, "You don't sound too fine Sa-,"

"Paul! Shut up!" I screamed. Ugh, I hate being moody…

There was silence for a minute. I don't think he ever loses his patience with me, but I'm sure now he was. I took one long and deep breath before I spoke again, "Look, I don't want to go to this school. Not unless you're going with me," I heard another sigh on the other line, "Obviously you won't…so I'm not going to this damn school."

"For once can you just not think about me?!" he growled…like an animal…weird.

I could feel myself starting to lose my temper and my fingers grasped the phone as tight as I could possibly grasp it and said, "No I can't…because I love you Paul," my voice sounded harsh and cold, but I wanted it to sound that way, "I love you more than anyone in this world. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like if I go to this school then…we won't be us anymore. We'll change into something that neither of us recognizes."

"Well, maybe we need to change in order to find our true selves Sammy," he snarled…like an animal…again, "Maybe we need time away from each other."

I shook my head and closed my eyes so that I couldn't break down, "Do you really mean that Paul? You want to spend some time alone? Huh?"

He groaned loudly, "I don't know what I mean anymore! I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!"

I basically had to bring the phone away from my ear just so that I wouldn't have to start wearing a hearing aid from now on. Right now, I didn't feel like being yelled at, so instead of picking the phone up again to talk to him, I slammed it shut and threw it onto my desk. I don't think that we've ever yelled at each other like that before…I don't remember ever feeling like my friend hated me. And I truly don't remember me ever saying I love you to him…

***

The day passed quickly and it consisted of me watching TV and eating food. The only thing that I could think of was what had occurred this morning. I left my phone upstairs in my room because I needed to think before I ever talked to him again. So many emotions had run through me and there were so many things that I said, and so many things that I didn't even evaluate before I said them. But most of those things didn't need evaluation except for the three words that kept bugging me….I love you. Did I mean it in a best friend way? Yeah in a way I did. In a love sort of way? …That's the one question I can't answer…

But why now? Why should things change now when things have been going so well? Why should I be the one who ruins things because I can't decipher my real feelings for Paul?

I slammed my head down onto a pillow and moaned, "Fuck my life."

I could just hear my dad's car door slam shut and I closed my eyes, feeling a headache starting to form in my brain. Soon enough he came through the door, slamming it shut behind him.

"Ow," I complained, putting my hand over my forehead.

"Hey sweetie," my dad came into the room with a bag of Chinese food in his hand, "How was your day?"

I shrugged one shoulder, "Confusing and now I need aspirin," it took me a couple of seconds before I got up the energy to get up off the couch and get some medicine for my headache.

Once I took the pills I ate some rice with chopsticks and conversed with my dad, mostly about this _amazing _school. Hearing about it only made me want to go there more…and it only made me feel worse about the whole Paul situation.

My eyes wandered around the kitchen for a minute before my dad set a small fortune cookie in front of me. I looked up at him and he smiled and winked at me, "Maybe it'll tell you something about your acceptance."

I sighed and nodded, grabbing the cookie off of the table and examining it for a couple of minutes before tearing open the plastic and cracking the cookie in two. I unfolded the tiny paper and read what it said to myself.

_The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected._

For a moment I thought about what it was saying, but then I soon got annoyed, "How the hell is that supposed to help me?" I muttered to myself before ripping the paper to shreds.

I got up from the table and threw the little paper in the garbage, taking a bite of my cookie while I did it. Then I kissed my dad on his cheek and walked back up to my room for the night.

As soon as I walked through the doorway I heard my phone vibrating on my desk and I stopped dead in my tracks. I wonder how many times he's tried to call…

It rang once more before I decided that I should get this over with. I picked up the phone and jumped onto my bed, finishing up the last bits of my fortune cookie. My hand slowly came up to my ear and I munched on my food as I waited for him to say the first words.

"I love you too Sammy," he soon said, making me choke for a slight second.

"Huh?" I replied.

"I love you," he shouted and then laughed.

I swallowed the chunks before saying something back to him, "Paul, tell me the honest truth…do you want me to go to this school?"

I could tell that he was thinking about this and trying to come up with the honest answer to this question, "No," he stated.

"Then I'm not going…"

"Let me explain Sammy ok?" He pleaded.

"Sure sure, go ahead, I'm not gonna stop you at this point," I chuckled seriously.

"No, I don't want you to go because I want you to stay here in La Push with me, but that's me being selfish. The selfless side of me wants you to go because I do love you Sam. I just don't want to see you throw your dreams away because that would mean that I'm a dream crusher. And hell who wants to be a dream crusher?"

I chuckled, "No one."

"Yeah, no one does. It's crazy to think that I could be the reason why you end up working at McDonald's or something like that…"

"Ok first of all I would never want to work at a fast food restaurant and second, who says there are no opportunities around here for me Paul?" I asked.

"Umm…I say?"

I rolled my eyes, "Be serious!"

I heard his laughter on the other line and when he soon stopped I wondered what he was thinking about.

"What are you thinking about right now?" I said, curiously.

"I'm thinking about what we mean by love…"

Well at least he listened to me when I told him to be serious, "Yeah, I was wondering that myself actually…"

He started to groan, "Why do things have to be so complicated?"

"That's life for you. Once it seems like there's a break, something else pops up and then you get a reality slap in the face that tells you, you suck! And you suddenly find yourself back to where you started from."

"Wow thanks for the inspirational quote Sammy, now I know that I suck…" I could totally tell that he was joking. I'm not stupid…

"Oh God, you don't suck cry baby."

We both paused for a second, but then I heard him take a deep breath, "Back to our original topic though."

"The one about how we truly feel about each other?" I knew he would say yes, but I decided to ask anyways.

"Yeah, that one."

"Well we both said I love you to each other. We just need to figure out if that's love love or a friend kind of love."

He chuckled, "I think we've been feeling a friend kind of love towards each other for a while now."

I started to bite my lip, "So what if we do love each other more than friends? Does that mean we can't act how we're acting now?"

"No, it doesn't necessarily mean that. I don't want this to ruin our friendship."

I shook my head from side to side, "Me neither." Before I could listen to another word he spoke I looked over at my clock and realized that it was later than I thought. I sighed, "I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I feel tired from all this thinking and confusion. I'll see you tomorrow at six thirty."

"Ok, see you tomorrow," he said. I started to bring the phone away from my ear, "Sammy wait!" he exclaimed.

I brought it back to its place, "Yeah?"

"I…I really do love you…as a friend and once I think things through I'm sure I'll figure out if those feelings go any further."

I smiled, "Love you too Paul. And believe me I'll be thinking about this a lot too."

He chuckled, "Goodnight Sam."

"Night bud."

I hung up my phone and got up so that I could get changed into some comfortable clothes. It would take a lot of thought for me to find out if I truly love love Paul. And I knew now that the reason why I wanted to go to bed early was because I figured that tonight I wouldn't sleep because I would be too overwhelmed with thoughts.

**please tell me what you think by reviewing guys!!! =]**


	4. 3 My Muse

**so i couldn't help but write this chapter. It was stuck in my mind all day haha **

**leave some reviews to let me know if you like it so far. I always appreciate any types of comments ;]**

**and if you have any questions then just ask and i'll get back to you ASAP**

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* * *

Forgetting all I'm lacking  
Completely incomplete  
I'll take your invitation  
You take all of me now..._

_I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_**Hanging by a Moment, Lifehouse

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**_

Chapter 3

My Muse

There was no doubt that I would feel extremely tired tonight. I would be what most people call a party pooper, but there was a good reason as to why I was so exhausted. I had Paul Alldredge on my mind. So of course I wasn't surprised when I woke up and found humungous bags under my eyes. I looked like I got punched in the face, but I could care less as to how I looked this morning so I just shrugged it off.

I walked down the stairs after I decided that it was a good time to come down from my little thinking space and actually come back to reality. Thankfully it was Saturday and my dad would be home with me so I wouldn't have to sit in this house alone with nothing to do but face the confusion in my life right now.

When I looked at the clock and realized that it was almost three already my eyes widened for a second. I didn't think I was up in my room doing nothing for that long, but apparently I was wrong. Once I managed to take my eyes off of the clock and look at my father, sitting at the kitchen table and reading the newspaper, I felt at ease and calm.

"Hey dad," I said.

He peered up from the article he was reading and grinned at me, "Sleeping in on the weekend?"

I thought for a moment before I answered his question, "Yeah, I feel so energized right now," I smiled and sat in the chair across from his, with one knee pulled close to my chest. It was stupid that I had to tell a fib about sleeping. I knew that I would probably just crash at Paul's house. It didn't matter if it was just us two, but with Jared there who knows what he'll do to me in my sleep.

He looked back down at his article, starting to whistle some song I didn't recognize. It didn't take long for my thoughts to drift off and think about the one person that I wanted to think about. But as soon as my dad stopped whistling I pushed the thoughts of love to the back of my mind.

I didn't notice until I looked at him that he was staring at me with his dark brown eyes and I stared back him with the same intense dark eyes, "You seem out of it Sam," he chuckled.

I closed my eyes for a minute, "Just thinking, that's all."

He raised a single brow, "Right, well what do you have planned today?" he asked.

"I'm going to Paul's house and we're watching movies, sleeping, and eating…the usual."

"You guys do that all the time; don't you think you should have a change of scenery?"

"And by that you mean?" I was a little confused by my dad's question. So what if I went to his house?

He shrugged, "It just seems like you two always do the same thing over and over again…"

I laughed at that statement, "We seem to find it fun."

He chuckled, "I'll never understand the two of you…"

"Not too many people do," I looked down at the table for a second, "But what can I say? I mean I really care about him. He's been there for me since day one and hasn't abandoned me once. He was there for me when mom died," I flinched, "And ever since I met him he's been by my side."

He scrunched his two big eyebrows together and I saw some worry lines start to form on his forehead, "I just hope when you go to your new school then you won't feel crushed about leaving him…" he glanced at his paper.

I closed my eyes, "Can we not talk about New York or leaving La Push right now? I want to keep my head clear today so that when I see him I won't feel like I have to make the moments last because I'll be leaving soon if I get in."

He nodded his head, "Paul understands though. I'm sure he'll be fine when we leave Sammy."

I opened my eyes again and stared up at the ceiling, "For some reason I feel like I won't be fine though," I whispered to myself, only loud enough so I could hear…

***

As I packed everything I would need for the night, including my saw movies, I let a mental of image of Paul consume my every thought. The one thing that I kept thinking of was his perfect face and his smile, his eyes that reminded me of the brownie he had given me when we first met, and last of all…the things he says to me in a perfect voice that makes my ears buzz after I hear it. Was I in love with him? Possibly…but at this point I was hoping that when I see him tonight I would be able to finally decode my true feelings for him.

I kept any thoughts of New York out of my mind. I wanted tonight to be enjoyable. If he brought it up…then I had no choice but to slap him or pinch him to make him stop talking about it. Or else I'd just yell until my lungs were sore. Both were optional at this point…

The last thing that I packed was just something in case some creative juices inside of me started flowing, my famous sketchbook filled with everything that I've ever drawn. This was basically going to be my portfolio once I turn it into the school next week. Who knows maybe I'd draw a brownie or something…

I quickly zipped up my backpack and flew down the stairs, "See you tomorrow dad!" I shouted as I put my converse on and opened the door.

"Bye Sammy! Have fun!" he screamed from the couch. Some football game was on so I figured I could just walk to his house. I've done it so many times before.

"I know I will," I muttered to myself as I closed the door behind me. Thankfully it wasn't raining. The ground was still wet and the fresh smell of dew filled the air, but I wasn't going to complain. I'm not some prissy little bitch who freaks out when her makeup runs.

I jumped into one of the huge puddles and started laughing to myself from how immature that just seemed...

I suddenly felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket and I quickly took it out and opened it up, **Don't forget your pads! You never know when you'll get those heavy flows! ;D **

I rolled my eyes at Jared's dumb ass text, **I didn't bring pads, I actually brought tampons. Have fun trying to get them out of your nose when I put them up there! Better watch your ass too…you never know what might end up in there either  
**

I laughed to myself. Yeah we acted immature…and we weren't afraid to show it. I could care less about what other people think of me…

When I got another text from Jared I groaned and resisted to open it up, but I did for some insane reason, **Wow Sammy, just…wow**

I smiled at the fact that he couldn't even come up with a good comeback, **YOU FAIL! See ya at Paul's Jared :]**

Then I put my phone back into my pocket and continued to walk down the sidewalk at a steady pace.

It didn't take me too much longer to reach his block. And before I walked up his steps I adjusted my backpack that was slung over my shoulder and took an unnecessary deep breath. I was an idiot for letting three little words have this much of an effect on me.

I shook my head as I walked up the stairs and knocked on the wooden door.

"Coming!" I heard Paul shout and hearing him made me smile.

Soon enough he was there in front of me with a ridiculous grin on his face. I stared at him with my dark, curious eyes for a second before saying something, "I brought my saw movies and they're all the unrated version."

I walked through the door and threw my backpack onto the floor, taking out one of the DVDs so he could see for himself. As I stood up again I noticed that the whole time he was staring at me and it made me blush. What the hell is up with me? I've never blushed in front of him…ever…

"Nice," he commented with his eyebrows raised and a small smile on his face.

The smell of pizza lingered through the Alldredge house and I couldn't help but say something about it, "Hell yes!"

He rolled his eyes because he knew what I was talking about immediately, "Do you ever not think about food?"

I shrugged as I walked towards the kitchen, "When I'm sleeping," I muttered.

I heard him chuckle from behind me as he followed me into the kitchen. I smiled when I saw his mother pulling out two crisp brown cheese and pepperoni pizzas, Paul and my favorite, "Hey Ms. Alldredge," I greeted.

She turned around with a smug look on her face, "Just in time for food Sammy. Why don't you two grab a plate while I cut these? Is Jared having some too?"

Paul and I both looked at each other and answered, "No," in unison.

His mother eyed us in suspicion, "Ok…well have a seat Sammy. Paul, make you useful and grab a drink for her."

I chuckled. His mom was seriously the nicest woman in the world. It made me wish I had my mother around…

I shook the thought out of my head and sat at their table while Paul went to the fridge. He didn't have to ask me what kind of drink I wanted because he already knew what I wanted…we both drank the same thing anyways…

He soon came back and set down an orange crush in front of me, "Straws!" I told him.

He chuckled, "Geeze someone's demanding today."

I stuck my tongue out at him like a child and he got what I wanted and set it into my drink, "Thanks," I said.

"No problem," he looked down at me and half smiled and I couldn't help but stare back at him. Shit…what am I doing?

I heard his mother set the plates down in front of us and I stuck my finger in the pizza and smudged some red sauce on his cheek, again I was acting immature but it was just so I would distract myself and stop staring at him like a creep. The two of us laughed and he soon wiped it away with a napkin, nudging me after he finished.

We basically devoured one whole pizza and after that there was a second one left. I was a little disappointed when I realized that Jared was actually going to be able to eat, but that disappointment soon didn't matter to me anymore…

Paul and I sat on the couch in the living room. Paul with his back up against the back of the couch and me with my head in his lap and my legs sprawled all over the rest of the couch. I grabbed his hand and soon started to examine his palm, tracing my finger over each crease and crevice on it. His hands seemed extremely amazing to me for some odd reason.

"What are you staring at my hand for?" he soon asked.

I wasn't surprised when he said that, "It's an artist thing," I shrugged, "There's always something that amazes us or catches our eye. And for me that's you…and your hands."

He chuckled, "So what I'm your muse?"

"You could be, if you let me draw you once."

"No seductive poses though…I don't think Jared would like to walk into a house where I look like I'm ready to seduce someone…"

I laughed, "Aw man I thought I could get you to pose nude."

"Ha, very funny Sammy," he wiped away a piece of hair that was dangling in my face and I immediately smiled. I liked this…a lot.

"I'm too lazy to stand up right now," I moaned.

He rolled his eyes, "Story of my life."

I sat there for a couple of seconds and waited for him to say something, but he didn't, "Blah, fine I'll go get my sketchbook," I really didn't want to get up from where I was sitting, but I did just because I was anxious to get him in my sketchbook.

I quickly got the book out of my backpack and ran back to the couch, staring at it for a couple of minutes before an idea sparked in my head, "Just sit on that side of the couch in a relaxed sort of way."

He did as he was told with a smug expression on his face. I took my place on the opposite side of him and thought for another moment of what I wanted to do. What was the one part of him that I wanted to capture?

And then it came to me and I just bit my lip and stared at him, "Smile," I said.

He smiled widely and looked at me with the same joy that was radiating off of me right now. He looked exactly how I wanted him to look. And it was the thing that I loved most about him.

"Turn your head slightly to the left," I pointed in the direction and he started to turn, "Stop, that's perfect."

He chuckled, "You act like such a professional."

"I try," I half smiled, "Keep still though, I need to make sure that I don't mess you up. Don't want your nose looking retarded."

"No we wouldn't want that," and then he put his perfect smile back onto his face.

I took out my pencil and eraser and looked at him for a second before pressing the lead onto the paper and starting the outlining of his face. It was hard to think that anything I was doing was correct because it seemed as if I couldn't draw the perfection in front of me. If I messed up just a little then I was afraid that I wasn't even skilled enough to draw the one person that means the most to me. He's so perfect…

I glanced at him a couple of times before I approved the outlining that I did. Then once I decided that it was as good as it was going to get I started on his nose and eyes. I wanted his eyes to stand out because they're dark and mysterious and…beautiful. I shaded in the pupil of his eye and then I did the iris slightly lighter.

I looked up at him and took a break for a moment while he just smiled, "You're doing good so far," I reassured him before I put my head down again and started on his lips that formed his breathtaking smile. I couldn't mess up…especially now. As soon as I felt like I slightly messed them up I erased and I kept erasing until I was finally satisfied with the lips. The next thing was his teeth. They were as straight as can be and a radiating white shade.

As soon as I took my eyes off of my paper and set them on him I felt my heart jump. He really did have a huge effect on me. And I think right now more than ever did I realize that I wasn't just in love with him as a friend. Call me crazy, but I think I might just love him a lot more than a friend…

I finished up with the rest of his upper body and let the drawing fade into white at the bottom. Once I was finished with the easy part I got down to the shading and details. I made everything as perfect as I could from where his eyebrows ended, to where his hairline started. I even made sure that the wrinkles of his shirt were just right. I felt the need to not miss anything about him. I don't know why I felt this way, but it was like this sketch would mean something a lot more in the future.

I quickly signed my name at the bottom and put the date and the place where I was in the right hand corner, "Finished," I sighed and looked at him, "You can relax now."

His smile faded into a small grin as he inched towards me, his eyes burning with curiosity, "Let me see me."

I chuckled and handed him the sketchbook, "Don't get your hopes up too much; I really think I could've done better…"

I stared as he eyed the thing with no expression on his face. Did he like it? Did he hate it?

His eyes met mine and his eyebrows raised, "How could you have done any better?" he shook his head, maybe in disbelief? "Seriously, this is so freaking amazing Sammy. And I'm not just saying that," again, our eyes met, "You did a really great job. I don't know anyone who could've done any better than this."

I felt my cheeks starting to get red and I tried to understand why I was blushing around him…ugh I have to stop…even if I did love him I didn't have to blush like an idiot, "I never knew you were the mushy type Paul," my eyes narrowed.

He rolled his eyes sarcastically, "I can be as sentimental as I want to be…because you make me realize what I really want in life."

"Oh yeah?" I scooted closer to him and then I turned my body around and once again rested my head on his lap like before, staring up at his perfect face, "What is it that you want Paul?" I asked seriously.

He started to stroke my hair and a superior grin appeared on his face, "I want you Sammy."

I brought my hand up to his face and placed it onto his cheek, rubbing his soft skin with my thumb, "I want you too…" but then something hit me…hard and harder than I expected it to, "But it sucks because of this damn school. Why can't you just start finger painting? I'm sure they'll let you in if you showed them some Paul Alldredge originals."

He laughed, "Let me go get my washable paints right now."

I started to laugh along with him and I ended up burying my face into his chest, taking in his scent and never wanting to forget it. Once we both stopped laughing, there was just silence for a while. I was thinking about a lot of things and I'm pretty sure he was too. It didn't make sense that now we figured out how much further our love for each other went. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I may be leaving.

"I hate life," I stared at his clean shirt as I said this.

He rubbed my back with his hand, "Don't Sam. There's nothing to hate about it. Yes, there are shitty times, but we get through them. And then comes the awesome times."

I beamed at his last statement, "Like right now."

"Exactly like right now," I felt his palm touch the side of my face and I felt as happy as ever.

A sudden knock on the door made me jump and I no longer felt as happy as I just was a second ago. Stupid Jared has to ruin the moment…

"Good timing…" Paul sighed.

"Ugh, can't we just ignore it."

"Don't be so bitter," he chuckled, "Jared can join in on our little cuddle fest."

I shot a furious glare at him, "Fuck no."

He cackled at my choice of words and I slowly got up. More pounding came from the door.

"Shut up you impatient pansy!" I shouted in anger.

Don't get me wrong, Jared is my friend. But he annoys the hell out of me sometimes. It's like he's always there when you don't want him to be.

"Ready to watch some saw?" he looked at me as we got closer to the door.

I half smiled, "Only if I get to hold your hand when I pretend to be scared."

He took my hand and squeezed it tight, "You can hold it the whole time."

"Don't make it obvious though, I really don't need Jared to freak out about this…"

"That's what blankets are for Sammy."

I chuckled, "Keep me all warm and fuzzy how sweet."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, "Like you said, I'm the mushy type."

I didn't mind that either…the mushier the better.

**don't worry i'm not done with this whole movie thing yet **

**the next chapter will be really good...if it comes out the way i think it'll come out**

**and thanks to everyone who's read this story so far ;]  
**


	5. 4 Love Conquers All

**so for this chapter i did a little research on youtube and watched some saw videos haha even though i've seen the movies i needed to refresh my memory**

**i hope you all like this chapter cause i sure do! =D **

**a special thanks to everyone who has reviewed/read this story! you're all awesome! and the reviews really help me write better because i know that i don't completely suck haha**

**well i'll stop babbling now!  
**

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I will be the one that's gonna hold you  
I will be the one that you run to  
My love is  
A burning, consuming fire  
No  
You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars  
Hear my whispers in the dark  
No  
You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far  
Hear my whispers in the dark_

**_Whispers in the Dark, Skillet_**

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_

Chapter 4

Love Conquers All

Unfortunately we let Jared in and we let him eat pizza. Soon after he was finished Paul's mom made her famous brownies that I was dying to have. And I downed about three of them, Jared telling me that I ate more like a linebacker instead of a girl, and me telling him that I could probably tackle him like a linebacker also. We started the first saw movie at around eight and right now it was just getting to the gory stuff.

"The reverse bear trap," I said. I knew this movie backwards and front. This part was pretty intense…

My knees were close to my chest and my hand was intertwined with Paul's under the flannel blanket he put over the two of us so Jared wouldn't suspect anything.

As she lifted the guys shirt she saw a huge question mark on his stomach, "She's got to rip open his stomach," I muttered. Here comes the gore.

"Sacred?" Paul whispered in my ear and I shook my head.

"I've seen this before. I'll be fine," then I turned my attention back to the TV.

The woman, named Amanda, held up a small pocket knife and I chuckled. Jigsaw couldn't just go all out and give her a normal knife he had to be a cheapskate. And then the guy woke up. Amanda had the creepiest look on her face as she raised the knife up and stabbed him multiple times. To make it seem like I was scared and not just do this cause I wanted to, I buried my face into Paul's arm and squeezed his hand.

"Who's the pansy now?" Jared chuckled.

"Still you," I didn't bother to look at him as I raised my head a little and looked back at the screen. She had managed to unlock the thing and take it off. She's basically the only one who's ever survived Jigsaw's little game. I just rested my head on Paul's shoulder now.

"Lucky bitch," Jared commented and we all laughed.

And then the little puppet came riding in on his tricycle, "Aww look it's Jared."

"You're hilarious Sammy," he rolled his eyes at me and I smiled in satisfaction because I heard Paul laughing silently next to me.

"Love you too Jared."

We continued to watch the movie along with the second and third one. Whenever I saw any sign of blood I buried my face into Paul's arm. It wasn't that I was scared I was just finding an excuse to be closer to Paul. So since I've never acted this scared before, he wrapped his free arm around me which caused me to be even closer to him now. We both knew that doing this wouldn't stop Jared from finding out the truth, but it was still fun to watch him smirk every time I cringed. He was completely oblivious to the fact that we were only doing this because we wanted to be in this position, not because we were freaked out.

It finally came to the ending of the third movie and after we watched the girl's head get blown off we heard Paul's mom come into the room.

"I'm heading off to bed guys," she said, "Don't stay up too late."

The three of us all exchanged the same glance that said, 'sure we're really going to listen to you.'

"Night mom," Paul looked at her over his shoulder and I just stared at him.

And then I heard her walk up the steps and close her bedroom door. We sat there in silence for a moment. Paul started to stroke my hair and Jared just looked at us like he knew something was up. At this point I couldn't care less about what he did or didn't suspect.

"Don't tell me you two are…" he stopped mid sentence when I looked at him and grinned a cheesy grin, "Yeah that's a little disturbing…"

The two of us rolled our eyes, "How the hell is it disturbing?"

He shrugged, "I mean now you guys are all…together and stuff…what am I supposed to do? Stick around and watch while you two give each other hickeys?"

"No hickeys," I shook my head, "At least not while you're around."

"Oh yeah, that's comforting," he said.

Paul turned his head around to look at him, "Jared…you wanna leave then the doors right there. I highly doubt that either of us is going to forget about you. If Sammy wants to be with me then so be it. If you want to talk shit about it, then you can-,"

"Paul chill," I shook my head, "He didn't do anything wrong."

Paul always had a problem with his temper. I think it's mostly because of his dad leaving when he was little. This was before I was around and the one time I found out about it was when he started screaming and saying stuff like, "He's not coming back," and, "He doesn't love me." Of course, my heart went out to him. He never seems to let things phase him, but sometimes he just…goes off on someone when they barely even say anything wrong. Like right now…

I grasped his shoulder to try and calm him down. He hated when he lost his temper. And even though I knew the reason why, he doesn't like talking about it. So basically Jared doesn't know about any of this which is why he looks stunned right now.

"Sorry Jared," Paul looked at the TV.

"Its fine," he sighed.

Another moment of silence...but this time it was awkward. I examined each of their faces. Paul looked like he was thinking hard and I'm pretty sure that I know what subject was on his mind. Jared…he just seemed a little shaken up by what just happened. I had to break this annoying silence.

"Let's do something," I said.

Each of their eyes looked up at me, "Like?" Jared asked.

I shrugged, "Like something that will stop this awkwardness," I glanced at Paul and squeezed his hand, "Any ideas?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes, "Let's get out of here."

"Wait what? You wanna sneak out of the house…now? It's already one in the morning!"

He smiled the smile that I missed for a couple of minutes, "What are you afraid you'll get caught?"

I thought about that for a moment. Something inside of me was telling me that this was the wrong thing to do and I don't know why, but I feel like tonight wouldn't be like any other night that we snuck out of the house, "Not really…where did you want to go?"

"What do we usually do when we sneak out of the house?"

I shook my head, "I don't know Paul…something doesn't feel right about this. Don't you think we're getting a little old to pull pranks on Sam Uley?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Coming from the girl who wanted to put toilet paper all over his front porch."

Jared was there when we toilet papered his house one time last summer, "Classic," he grinned.

I ignored Jared's little comment and defended my case, "I don't know, something's telling me that we shouldn't do this."

Paul put a single finger underneath my chin and forced me to look him in the eye, "I won't let anything happen to you Sammy. Trust me, everything will be fine."

I heard Jared moan, but I completely shut him out, "What happens when we get caught Paul? You want to tell Sam Uley, the guy that hates everything and anything fun, that we were just fooling around?"

He nodded his head confidently, "If we get caught then I'll take the blame."

"Aw how sweet Paul you're her hero! Why don't you two just kiss already," Jared finally got up off the couch, which was a good move because in a second I'm sure either Paul or I would hurt him.

"Pinky swear that you won't push your limits Paul," I held out my pinky and waited for him.

He smiled and intertwined our pinkies, "Pinky swear."

"Jared?" I held out my other pinky towards where he was standing.

He looked at my finger for a moment, but then he rolled his eyes and gave in, "This is idiotic, but I pinky swear."

"No toilet paper this time. I don't feel like falling in the mud because I'm trying to roll up a thing of toilet paper instead of focusing on where I'm running."

"Ding dong ditch," Jared suggested, "We'll annoy the hell out of him by ringing his doorbell multiple times until he wakes up, then we escape."

Here come the children inside the three of us. We all agreed to the plan and soon got ourselves ready to leave the house. Luckily, I had a black sweater in my backpack. I really don't know why I brought it, but I guess it does help. Paul and Jared got some black clothes from Paul's room, very quietly and very carefully.

We put on our shoes and once we were finished we went to the door. I put my hood on over my head before we headed out the door.

Paul stood in front of me and grinned, "Ready?" he asked me.

I closed my eyes for a second and then I nodded my head, "As ready as I'll ever be."

He then managed to open the back door without making too much noise. Before we stepped out into the dark night, Paul reached out his hand to take mine and I immediately accepted it without hesitation. Jared was the first out of the house, followed by me and Paul.

It was bitterly cold outside and it didn't help the fact that I was already shaking in fear of what might happen. I don't know what's gotten into me though. I mean I've never been afraid of pulling a prank on Sam and tonight should be no different. But I felt like something bad was bound to happen.

We were just at the end of the property and about to head into the forest to make our way to his house. An eerie feeling entered my body at that moment. I just couldn't deny this feeling anymore, so I stopped and tugged Paul's hand. He stopped Jared from walking as well and then he turned in my direction and stared at me in a concerned way.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I took one deep breath before I spoke, "Paul something's not right about this. I don't know why, but something's telling me that we shouldn't go in there."

He let go of my hand and put it on my cheek instead, his other hand on my other cheek, "Trust me Sammy. I won't let anything harm you. I'll keep you safe…ok?"

I hesitantly nodded, "I trust you."

Then he brought his face closer to mine and kissed my forehead, "Just stay right by me and you'll be fine."

"Let's go lovebirds!" I didn't notice that Jared had already walked away from us until he his voice seemed farther away.

Paul took my hand again and we started to walk into the forest. The only thing I heard was the buzzing of the bugs that filled the forest and the constant whipping of the wind. I could hear Jared's footsteps ahead of us and I would say that he was only a couple of feet away. It was practically pitch black and I was confused as to how Paul could see where he was going. Maybe it was because I was more focused on keeping calm instead of where we were actually going.

"Almost there," he told me.

I felt freezing cold from the wind. It was like a big thing of ice was hitting against your body. I mean it was supposed to be summer, so why the hell is it cold?!

My thoughts were soon interrupted by a howl that came from the distance. It wasn't that far and yet it wasn't close enough so I could see what made that sound.

Paul stopped dead in his tracks and I did the same, "Paul, let's go back."

He shook his head, "Where's Jared?" he whispered. I looked around for any sign of him, but there was none. Before I could scream out his name Paul held up a finger to my lips, "Stay quiet."

"But what if Jared gets hurt?!"

"He'll be fine," I heard him take a step forward and I immediately tugged his arm back.

"Paul, you can't go in there!"

"I just want to see what it is," he smiled.

I rolled my eyes, boys…why do I choose to listen to them? I'm an idiot for letting him lead me into a forest full of freaky howling things.

He inched slowly to where the noise came from and I couldn't help but follow him. I could start to hear a low grumbling sort of noise right in front of us now and I kept my head down as he got closer and closer. My hand started shaking and Paul reassuringly squeezed it to let me know that he wouldn't let me get hurt.

And then I felt him stop. I slowly brought my head up to look at what was making that noise and what I saw made my heart drop. About ten feet away from us stood a huge black wolf. But what was strange was that it seemed a lot bigger than a normal wolf. It looked as huge as a horse.

"What the fuck is that?" I whispered low.

I could tell that he was just as stunned as I was, "I…I'm not sure."

The thing cocked its head to the side and I knew that we had gotten caught.

"Paul! Sammy!" Jared's voice screamed from behind us, but Paul and I stood as still as stone. The stupid idiot just ruined any chance of us living.

The wolf's eyes soon spotted us for the first time. At first it just stared at us. And soon enough Jared saw what we saw.

"Holy shit," he muttered.

It took one step forward and I started to wonder why we weren't running. Its eyes scanned us over and over again. I soon came to the conclusion that either we were going to die…or we were going to die.

As soon as I saw the thing bare its teeth at us I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to scream, but my voice wouldn't form any sort of screech. After a second or two of us just standing there the thing took a couple of more steps towards us.

"Paul!" I managed to blurt out. I don't know why I was screaming for him, but I was sure that it had something to do with the fact that he told me that he wouldn't let me get hurt.

I felt Paul let go of my hand and a second later I was on his back. He started to run through where we had come from. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he carried me, piggyback styled, through the woods. I daringly glanced over my shoulder and was surprised when I saw no wolf behind us. How we managed to get out of there without a scratch on us I'm not sure. The thing was so damn big that I'm pretty sure it could've outrun us. But for some reason it didn't come after us like any normal wolf would. Yeah, it growled…we disturbed it and it's only natural for an animal to react that way when you disturb its moment of peace. Take me for instance…when someone ruins my perfectly good day and makes it shitty I tend to 'growl' at them, only natural.

I felt my two feet being put back on the ground when I soon realized that we were in Paul's backyard once again. The two of them were breathing heavily while I was still in a state of shock from what I just saw. I felt Paul put his two big hands on either side of my face and I looked into his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

I nodded, "I'm fine…just a little shaken up by what we just saw."

"Yeah, what the hell was that thing?" Jared said and I made Paul put his hands back by his side.

"As if we would know Jared," I rolled my eyes, "You guys should've kept your promises."

"Sorry, but we're not kindergarteners so pinky swears mean absolutely nothing," Jared was starting to get on my nerves…I'm seriously considering punching him in the face right now.

"Jared, shut the fuck up please," I would've said thank you to Paul for that one. On some occasions I liked when Paul got pissed because he wasn't afraid to say anything to anyone. But when he takes it way out of proportion then I usually have to try and stop him from losing control and that's not fun.

I smiled, "Down boy," I slipped my fingers through his.

He swallowed a lump of frustration before he turned his attention back to me, "I feel shitty about doing that to you…it was really dumb of me."

I heard Jared groan, "I'm going inside before I throw up."

"Good idea, you're really saving your ass from a beating," I smirked, but didn't bother to look at him.

"Uh huh…I'd like to see you beat me up Sammy," he cackled.

"I'm pretty sure she could, considering the fact that I'd be backing _her _up instead of _you,_" Aww he's defending me how sweet.

"Thanks Paul. I'll be inside deliberating what I'm supposed to do now since both of my friends are completely blinded by love. Or seeing that wolf thing really messed up your minds…" and then he finally went into the house leaving us alone. For a minute there was only silence because I think that both of us, well I was at least, expecting Jared to come outside again and make some other smart ass remark, but thankfully he didn't.

He sighed and looked towards the forest as he opened his mouth to speak, "I wish I didn't lose my temper so much. It totally sucks…"

Poor guy, I truly felt bad for him. He was there for me when my mother died and it was only before I met him that his dad left him. I don't know how it feels to know that your father is out there somewhere but doesn't have the balls to be in your life. But I do come pretty close to knowing how it feels when you only have one person to look up to when other people have two. Actually he and I are exactly alike when it comes to that category. But really, I consider Paul the one person I can go to when I feel like complete shit because we completely understand each other. And right now I think he feels the same way.

I walked over to his back steps and sat down on the top one, patting the cement next to me so he would sit down. He slowly walked over and sat down next to me. I soon took his hand in mine again and I rested my arm up against arm before I spoke to him.

"I know it sucks Paul. I can see it in your eyes that you don't mean to be harsh with people. But I can also see that you miss your father, and you don't want to admit it because you feel like you should be angry with him. So you take that anger out on other people around you," I was saying this from what I've seen. I'm not sure if I was correct, but I would hope that I was.

He shook his head and sighed again, "I do miss him. I mean I want to know who he is. I want to know what traits I inherited from him and I want to know in what ways I look like him."

I knew what he meant because he was about five when his father left. So his memories are unfortunately vague. And the only contact he's had ever since his father left is the monthly check he sends to him. The only thing Paul really truly knows about his dad is what his handwriting looks like and how he signs his name.

"I know you do, Paul. Just like I miss my mom," I paused, "But we have each other. You know I'll be here for you whenever you need to talk."

"Not for long," I saw pain flash through his face and I'm pretty sure that I was feeling the same exact pain.

"I hate New York already…"

"Don't say that. When you get there you'll probably become a regular New Yorker with an 'I heart New York' t-shirt and everything."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "I'm not the follower, cliché type."

His smile that he was wearing started to fade and he looked down at our hands, "Who knows…New York could change you."

I shut my eyes when he said that. It sucks that I told myself this afternoon that I wasn't going to bring this up whatsoever. And I would punch him if he brought it up, but here I was…talking about it.

"God, Paul you don't know how much it hurts me to hear you say that. It's like someone just stabbed me right in the gut."

"Yeah, I feel the exact same way…times one thousand."

I sensed that he was in the same amount of pain that I was right now. But apparently he thought his pain was much worse…I don't know how…

I didn't want to face the fact that I was leaving and I surely did not want to face the fact that I wouldn't see him anymore. I would give anything to not be a talented person right now…because I'd rather be in a school with him instead of a school where he wasn't there.

"I'm not going to give up on us Sammy. I'll do whatever it takes to keep us together."

I turned my face towards him and just stared at him in a confused way, "How?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I'll call you, visit you on weekends…anything."

"You can't afford to visit me every weekend Paul," I shook my head and pulled my hand up to his cheek and he put his free hand on top of it.

"I have money," I knew what he meant by money. It's the money that his father gives him.

"No, that's for college. It's not worth it…" I looked him straight in the eye as I said this, "I'm not worth it."

He narrowed his stare and looked at me like I was crazy for saying that, "You are worth every penny Sam. I'm not giving up. I won't be that type of guy."

I was shocked by what he just said to me. Sure I knew he was the most amazing guy on this planet. But I didn't know that he was this willing to be with me, even though there's going to be over a thousand mile distance between us if I go. I'll be on one side of the country while he'll be on the other. It seems unfair that things will end up this way, but Paul seemed to think that we could still be together no matter what. There was nothing more I wanted now but to close this empty space between us before we found ourselves saying goodbye to each other.

I felt a spark forming inside of my body as I just sat here. I was hungering for his lips right now, so instead of leaving my hand on his cheek I put it on the back of his neck and drew him closer to me.

"Forget about New York right now," I whispered, "All I want to think about is you."

His breath felt hot against my skin and I couldn't stand this any longer. So I locked my fingers in his dark hair and quickly made our lips meet. He put his hand on the soft of my back and drew me in closer to him, deepening the kiss as he did it. Our lips moved in synchronization and I consumed myself with thoughts of him and only him. There was nothing more perfect than this moment right here and I would savor it for as long as I could.

The thing I didn't want to happen happened. Out of all the things that could ruin a moment this was the one that did it. The same howl that we heard earlier came out of the woods again. I had completely forgotten about it, but of course it chose to remind me that it was out there now.

I could tell that Paul was just as resistant to stopping as I was because he kept our lips together for a couple more minutes before pulling away and sighing.

"I officially hate wolves…" he commented.

I chuckled, "I hate _that _wolf."

We both sat there for a moment and just stared at each other. But knowing that there was an animal, particularly a wolf, out there made me want to get inside now.

Paul must've read my mind or something because he immediately stood up and reached his hand out to take mine, "Let's go before we get eaten. We wouldn't want Jared to have to live the rest of his life without us two in it."

I smiled and took his hand, "No because I'm sure now more than ever he wants us in his life."

He chuckled, "He'll find a girl…someday. Don't know when that day will be though. But I'm guessing it'll be later rather than sooner."

He opened the door and let me go in first. I had to admit, I haven't felt this happy in a long time. Sure he made me feel cheerful before, but not nearly as cheerful as I was feeling right now. So I didn't want to say anything more than what I was about to say because it would be just enough for him to know that he is all I need to feel complete, "I love you Paul," I said confidently as we made our way through the kitchen.

He looked at me and smiled his perfect smile. I sensed that he felt the same way by the look he was giving me right now. "I love you too. I'll always love you," he replied with the same confidence that I did.

At this point I was willing to do whatever it takes to keep this relationship from crumbling down. I would do everything in my power to keep him in my life, because love conquers all.

**i'm not sure when my next update will be...hopefully soon, but i'm getting sick so my mind is starting to drift into to blahh **

**review! ;]**

**-KK  
**


	6. 5 Mental Images

**so i got really into writing today. the transformations are finally beginning....DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!**

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So hold your head  
Hold it up high  
Here's to the friends that were alibis  
Keep this close by your side  
When I come home we will have our night  
We will have our night_

_**Friends and Alibis, Escape the Fate

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**_

Chapter 5

Mental Images

About a week passed since the night that we heard the wolf. That night had changed a lot of things for me. Like the fact that I had now decided to spend most of my time with Jared and Paul since I would be moving soon. And yes, it was a definite thing. I sent in my sketchbook to the school on Monday and they sent me a letter on Sunday that told me I was in. Of course I was happy…but it was also hard to tell the two of them that I would be leaving in less than a month. And there was nothing I could do to stop my father from making us move to New York because he had already purchased a house near the school.

My relationship with Paul only seemed to grow stronger. It made me feel worse about the future and yet I was happy whenever he was around. I was worried that things wouldn't be the same like him and I believed they would. There was just this gut feeling inside of me that told me I should stop loving him now before I get hurt. I couldn't listen to it…I didn't want to stop loving him no matter what.

I jumped when a sudden beeping of a car horn interrupted my vague thoughts. I got up off of the couch and looked out of the window only to see Paul in a new car, a black jeep to be exact.

"I'm going out dad!" I shouted, "I'll be back soon!"

I quickly put on my shoes and flew out of the door and down the steps my eyes widened when I realized that there was an actual car in front of me and Paul was sitting in the driver's seat.

"No freaking way!" I stared at the spotless car with a cheesy grin on my face.

"Picked it up yesterday," he smiled and unlocked the door so I could get in.

I didn't hesitate to sit down as I opened the car door and sat in the seat, "Now we don't have to walk everywhere."

"Exactly," he started the car up and kissed me on the cheek before he pulled out of the driveway.

"Where are we going?"

"Jared's house. We're picking him up and then…we'll go from there I guess," he couldn't stop smiling. I could tell that he was happy and I wasn't going to ruin his happiness today with my bitter attitude. Even if he did understand why I was so bitter, I still didn't like acting that way around him.

On the way to Jared's place we blasted the music as high as it would go and sung to every song in annoying voices with the windows open. I couldn't help but laugh at all the stares we got on the way there. Let's just say more than you can count on your fingers_ and _toes…

We passed a sort of familiar face. Jacob Black…I'm sure it was him because it was my dad's friend's, Billy Black, house that we passed. He stared at us as we passed him and of course we made fools out of ourselves. I didn't know him too well. We talked once for about two seconds last year because we were forced to be lab partners. That was the first and last time I had made any sort of contact with him. I threw my hands up in the air and screamed like an idiot and out of the corner of my eye I saw him roll his eyes. He's just jealous…

As soon as we reached Jared's house we honked the horn as loud as possible. Jared looked out the window before he came through the door.

"Finally we don't have to walk all over this damn town," he said as he jumped into the back seat.

"Where are we going now Paul?" I asked.

"Let's go to Port Angeles," he looked up at the sky, "Seems like a nice day."

It was cloudy and in La Push, when it's cloudy it's a nice day. Before either of us could respond Paul started the car up again and we cruised down the road, doing the same thing as we did before only this time we had Jared so it was even more obnoxious.

When we got to Port Angeles we decided to go shopping around the town for a bit. Well I kind of decided to go shopping…I needed more clothes…

I dragged Paul and Jared into one of the prissy little girly stores and they both groaned while they waited for me to try on clothes. Both of them had to listen to crappy pop music and sit on pink fluffy chairs as I took my time just to torture them. It was pretty nice to have two guys who were willing to wait for you in a girly store. I'm sure Paul didn't care as long as he was with me, but I also think that Jared was only waiting because there were teenage girls everywhere…

As I got all of the clothes and checked out at the register with Paul, Jared started flirting with a couple of blonde bimbos who were twirling their long hair in their fingers and smacking on big pieces of bubblegum.

"Oh come on, that's the best he can do?" I complained to Paul while the lady took her time to scan everything.

Paul squeezed my hand and chuckled, "Apparently so."

"We seriously need to find him an actual girlfriend," I looked up at Paul, "Since he's not very good at it."

He nodded as the cashier started to put my clothes in a bag, "The Paul and Sammy matchmaking service."

I laughed, "It has a nice ring to it."

Once we were finished at that store we went browsing through a couple more before losing interest. So we decided to go see a movie at the nearest theater. Paul parked his car in one of the nearest parking spaces and he opened the door to me. So chivalry isn't dead.

I stepped out of the car and we walked hand in hand with each other while Jared walked slowly, texting his bimbos. It didn't take us long to decide on which movie we wanted to see. It was one of the most recent comedies that I've been dying to see called Unnamed and Dangerous. Every time I saw the trailer on the TV I started to laugh my ass off. And it didn't surprise me once I started crying in the theater. It was something about this guy who had no name and how he went through life known as "no name" or something like that. I don't know I was too busy laughing at it that I didn't even know what the concept of it was.

The movie ended at about seven, so we decided to get something to eat before going home. We chose one of the local hot dog restaurants. It's not like we needed to eat somewhere fancy. Something plain and simple is all we need to be happy.

"No mustard!" I shouted as Paul picked up the bottle of mustard to put on my hot dog, "Don't ruin it!"

He chuckled, "It's un-American to have just ketchup on a hot dog."

"Well I'm not like most Americans…so deal with it," I stuck my tongue out at him and he handed me my food.

"Don't I know it," he muttered before taking a bite out of his.

We sat down at one of the tables that were set up next to the table. It was just me and Paul right now because Jared said he was feeling a little sick, so he went to the bathroom.

Paul reached his hand across the table and reached for my hand that was free. I smiled and took it without hesitation, "I can't believe you're driving now," I shook my head, "It seems so unreal."

"Just wait until you get a car. Then I'll be the one who's shocked," he grinned.

I let out a chuckle, "I know but think about it. We've known each other since we were kids and now it's just like…we're both growing up and we're maturing. It's kinda scary."

His face looked blank as he blinked, "Mom?"

I rolled my eyes and put down my hot dog so I could punch him. He didn't seem affected by it because he just kept laughing, "Hardy har har Paul."

"I'm sorry, but you just sounded like my mother for a second there," he smiled innocently.

"Well would your mother ever do this," I leaned over the table and kissed his lips for a moment, but I soon pulled away to see what his response would be.

He sighed, "Nope, only you would. If she tried I'd probably get freaked out."

"Mental image I did not need to see," I shuddered.

We laughed for a couple of minutes before Jared finally came back. He sat down at the table and closed his eyes with his fists clenched on either side of him. Paul and I both exchanged the same 'he looks constipated,' glance.

"You ok Jared?" he asked.

Jared took one deep breath, "Just…a little…pain."

I furrowed my brows at his statement. He sounded like he was in pain and by the looks of it, he was shaking, "You wanna go home?"

He shook his head, "I'll be fine," his voice shook with every word he spoke and I started to worry about him.

For the rest of the time we spent there Paul and I ate while Jared just sat there, groaning silently here and there. And when we finished with our meal, Jared took his time when he got up from the table. It seemed like he was in so much agony at that point.

We all got into the car together and Paul and I just looked at each other before we glanced back at Jared. He kept his head down with his eyes closed and he made a hissing noise when Paul started the car. Did the car seriously cause him pain or something?

There was nothing but silence on the way home except for the hurtful moans Jared let out every couple seconds. It was painful to hear and every time he yelled I squeezed Paul's hand. We were just about to arrive back in La Push when Jared let out one loud scream. I turned around in my seat and watched as Jared shook and groaned.

"Paul! Stop the car!" I shouted.

"No!" Jared cried out in pain, "No, keep going! It…hurts!"

Paul stepped on the gas pedal and immediately took his phone out, dialing someone's number. I didn't know whose, but I didn't really care at this point.

I placed my hand on Jared's shoulder, but I soon lifted it off when I felt how hot he was, "He's burning up Paul!"

Paul started talking on the phone with someone. I couldn't understand what he was saying because Jared's ear piercing yelps drowned his voice out, but it looked like Paul was even getting angry with whoever he was speaking to.

"Stay calm Jared. We're almost there," I looked out the window and realized that we weren't heading for the hospital. I kept calm though, so that Jared wouldn't freak out anymore.

"It…it hurts!" he strained his neck and gritted his teeth.

"I know," I bravely put my hand back onto his shoulder, ignoring the heat for now, "It'll be ok," I cooed.

I glanced over at Paul who looked shocked and angered at the same time as he sped down the road. We passed the little red garage that belonged to the Black's. I knew that we were heading for Jared's house now, but I didn't understand why we were taking him home instead of the hospital.

I felt Jared tremble from underneath my hand and I turned my attention back to him, "We're only a block away Jared."

"Hurry!" he yelled.

I felt like I was going to cry. He looked like he was in so much pain and I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do but sit and wait at this point because we were in a car and I wasn't a doctor. Jared's parents aren't doctors either…

"Paul why are we going to his house?" I whispered.

He just shook his head at me and kept driving on. I turned my head back around and watched as he shook and cringed. It was hard to see one of my best friends this way. I felt terrible.

It seemed like it took us forever to finally reach his house. Paul and I helped get Jared out of the car while his father came running out to meet us. What was strange was that his father looked incredibly calm. I couldn't believe that he didn't even look worried one bit. It kind of…pissed me off.

"Thank you," his father quickly said before directing Jared into the house.

The two of us just stood there without speaking. I stared at the door as it closed and I shook my head from what I just saw. We were freaking out while Jared's dad made it seem like this was nothing. He just shrugged it off.

"I can't believe this," I mumbled.

Paul scoffed before turning around and getting into his jeep. I slowly followed after him, a little dazed and confused. It was weird how fast things went from good to crappy. I couldn't get the mental images of Jared trembling and screaming out of my head. It was like a memory that was scarred into my brain.

I stared out the window the whole way home. The two of us didn't say a word to one another. I could've started a conversation, but my thoughts would always go back to what had occurred today. It was going to be stuck in my mind for the rest of the night. I just knew that something bad was going to erupt soon…

**i hope you enjoyed the Jared thing ;]**

**REVIEW!  
**


	7. 6 A Sucker for Romance

**soo i really really wanted to update today because after seeing that New Moon trailer i am in such a good mood! AHH! that tralier was amazing! **

**and i'm not sure when my next update will be...i have to study for exams (ewwww) it sucks...i hope i can get through these last 3 days XP**

**well i really enjoyed writing this chapter! the next chapter is almost finished because i was anxious to write it!! **  
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_ Never really said too much  
Afraid it wouldn't be enough  
Just try to keep my spirits up  
When there's no point in grieving_

_Doesn't matter anyway  
Words can never make me stay  
Words will never take my place  
When you know I'm leaving_

_**Light On, David Cook**_

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Chapter 6

A Sucker for Romance

After about a week of worrying and attempting to call Jared's house I had given up. I was completely dumbfounded by what was going on at the moment. I mean we did nothing but help him and now he's completely ignoring us? I just don't get it…

But maybe he's really sick. I could understand that. I mean the one time I called his house phone his mother told me that he wasn't feeling well. So, maybe I'm overreacting…but he couldn't just pick up the phone and talk to me for two seconds? Really?

"Ugh!" I screamed as I stared at my phone that was sitting on my desk. I tried texting him, calling his cell phone, his house, and I even called the hardware store just in case he was working or something. How pathetic is that?

Before I did something rash, like throw my phone out the window, I got up from where I was sitting and ran down the stairs. I'm not worried anymore. Now, I'm just furious.

"Hey Dad!" I called, it was already seven so he should be home. I didn't hear him come in because I was too busy thinking about how much of my time I had wasted on calling Jared. Soon enough his head appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah?" he looked at me seriously, probably because of my angry tone.

"Has Jared called at all?" I stared at him for his response and he shook his head. I had told my dad everything that happened on that one day in Port Angeles. He didn't seem shocked by it at all, which surprised the hell out of me. He and Jared's dad were always close and he knows him more than I do. So why doesn't he think that his reaction to all of this is strange?

"I would let him be for a while Sammy. I heard he's not feeling so great," he half smiled at me.

I nodded, "I guess so," I started to turn on my heels, but soon stopped, "Do you think It'd be ok if I went over there? You know, to see how he's doing?"

He immediately walked into the room with his eyes widened and he shook his head from side to side, "No, I'm sure he doesn't want visitors right now," he walked up to me and put both of his hands on either of my shoulders, "He'll be ok though, I'm sure of that."

How could he be so sure? I've never seen my dad so sure of anything before. It was kind of…weird. He's always straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything, but why do I feel like he's suddenly sugar coating this statement?

"Alright," I sighed, not bothering to figure out what he was hiding, "I'm gonna call Paul to see what he's up to."

He grinned and kissed my forehead, "Don't worry so much."

"I won't," I lied. I was still pretty worried about him. Yeah, I was furious, but worried at the same time.

"Don't sneak out either, just tell me if you're going somewhere with Paul," ha, I guess my dad does know about me sneaking out after all…great, "Curfew's at ten though. I want to discuss some of our arrangements for New York. And I'm planning on having a going away barbeque with everyone. I want you to invite Paul."

I moaned that's so lame, a going away barbeque? "Sure, whatever…"

He chuckled and hugged me, "Have fun."

I smiled and ran back up the stairs when he let go of me. Me and my father have always been close. It's kind of hard for us sometimes, but we manage to get through the bad things no matter what is thrown at us. My dad isn't afraid of anything and I look up to him because of that.

When I reached my room I immediately grabbed my cell phone and dialed Paul's number. It rang three times before he decided to pick it up.

"Hey Sam," he said in a happy tone.

"Hi," I flipped onto my bed, "How's your day going?"

"It's been alright. I went over to Jared's place today."

My eyes widened, "And?"

"And I basically had to sneak out because my mother was acting all paranoid and telling me I shouldn't go there. It was really strange."

"That's funny cause my dad did the same thing to me about two seconds ago," I raised my eyebrows.

"Really?" he seemed surprised.

"Um, yeah he started sugar coating his statements and all that jazz, but anyways what happened when you went to his house?" I rolled over onto my stomach and sat up on my elbows while I waited for him to respond.

He sighed, "Nothing really, his mom seemed kind of surprised to see me there. But I didn't get to see Jared in person. She told me he was too sick to have any visitors. It kind of pissed me off…"

I would be pissed too, "I really am just dying to know what's actually going on with him," I scoffed.

"Believe me, I am too."

There was silence for a couple of minutes before Paul finally spoke up, "So you want to meet up somewhere?"

I thought he'd never ask, "Yeah," I said casually, "I'm sick of worrying."

He chuckled, "Meet me at the beach."

"Don't tell me you're sneaking out."

"Yeah, I am. My mom probably won't believe me when I say I'm meeting up with you. She'll assume I'm going to Jared's again."

I sighed, "Don't get your ass caught. I don't feel like being left alone. Especially after the whole wolf incident," I shuddered from the memories of the big black wolf.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you," here comes the mushy stuff, "If I'm not there by eight forty five then I'll text you, ok?"

I glanced at the clock. It was already eight thirty, "Fine. See you in about fifteen minutes."

I shut my phone, leaving him no time to respond. I'm really glad that I don't have to sneak out tonight. At least my dad's letting me go. But I'm pretty sure that's only because we're leaving soon and he knows that I've been spending more time with Paul and Jared, well not Jared anymore, ever since our move to New York became official.

I shook my head to get any negative thoughts out of my head while I quickly put on my sweater and shoes and ran down the stairs.

"Dad, I'm meeting up with Paul," I shouted.

"Curfew's at-," he didn't finish his sentence, expecting that I would.

I rolled my eyes, "Five thirty!"

He looked at me over his shoulder and raised one eyebrow, "Sam-,"

"Kidding," I chuckled as I headed for the door, "I'll be back by ten."

Then I hurried out of the house and started to walk down the sidewalk with my hands in my pockets. Thankfully, it wasn't raining. There was some mist in the air, but no heavy rain. I could live with the mist. It was actually refreshing to me. I lifted my head up towards the sky and closed my eyes as I strutted down my block. It was peaceful now and I love when there's nothing you can hear, but your own thoughts rolling through your head. I took a couple of deep breaths and smiled. I'll miss this so much…

***

Once I had reached the beach I sat down in the sand and watched as the waves crashed into the rocks. The sound of the ocean was calming and it actually made me forget about everything. My head was completely clear at this point. I laid my head down onto the golden sand and stared up at the stars. This was one of the best parts of La Push. You could see almost every star because there were no city lights to keep them out of human sight, which only makes New York seem so much worse. I sighed and looked around to see if Paul was coming. When I knew that he wasn't here, I checked my phone to see what time it was. The screen read, **8:46**.

There were no unread messages in my inbox and I suddenly felt myself getting worried all over again, but I refused to get up. I closed my eyes and just listened to the waves again, thinking of my mom now. I remember her always smelling like vanilla because she used to always bake vanilla cupcakes with pink frosting on top when I got home from school. I hated pink, but I didn't tell her that because the cupcakes tasted amazing. I wish that I could wake up one day and smell her blueberry muffins again…

My thoughts were disrupted by someone's footsteps. I didn't bother to open my eyes to see who it was because I already knew it was him.

He sat beside me and just stayed silent while I tried to remember what my mother's smile looked like. I shut my eyes tighter, but it didn't help. So, I gave up and found myself staring up at the stars again.

"I wish I could see her again," I felt my eyes starting to get damp with tears.

He moved his body closer to mine and finally laid down beside me. I could basically feel his eyes staring at me and burning through me, like he was looking into my soul or something cliché like that.

"I want to know what she thinks of me," my gaze soon met his and I couldn't help but keep my eyes locked on his brownie colored eyes.

He rolled onto his shoulder and stroked my cheek with his finger, "She'd be proud of you Sammy."

"You think so?" I imitated his position but kept my eyes on him while I moved.

He nodded and smiled, "You're so talented and I'm sure if she were here right now, she'd be backing you up one hundred percent with whatever you decide to do in life because she loves you."

I grinned and thought about that for a moment. I'd give anything to see her again, to hear her voice, and I'd give anything to have her see what I've become.

I closed the space between me and Paul and rested my head in the crook of his neck, trying to prevent myself from crying. He put his chin on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me, "You're amazing," he whispered, "She really would be proud of you."

"I hope so," I placed my hand on his shoulder and held him tighter, "Thank you for being so understanding."

He kissed my cheek, "You're welcome."

I put my ear up against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. Being with him made me feel safe and protected for some reason. He always seemed to make my day better and seeing him never failed to make me smile. I really felt whole right now. I'm crazy for thinking that, but it was just some sort of gut feeling I had. It was like being with him was where I belonged. And yet, it meant that it was just going to be that much harder to say goodbye.

"I don't get it," I blurted out.

"What don't you get?" he asked calmly.

"Why does this feel so right yet so wrong? It's like I shouldn't be getting closer to you now when I'm going to be leaving soon, but I just…am. It makes it that much harder for me because I don't want to leave you."

"We're not going to be saying goodbye to each other permanently."

"How can you be so sure?" I looked at his face and studied it.

He shrugged, "I can feel it. It's like something's telling me not to let go of you. So, I'm going to try, try as hard as I damn well can."

"Mush mush mush," I teased.

"You love it though," he grinned sheepishly and then he kissed the tip of my nose.

"I think I do love it," I admitted, "It's just so…mushy and romantic."

"You're a sucker for romance."

I nodded and put my hand on the side of his face, "I think I am."

I tilted my head to the side and made our lips meet. Kissing him was the best feeling in the world. And even though it was wrong to be feeling so strongly about him right now, I did anyways. I wasn't going to just ignore this feeling because I'm leaving. I'm going to embrace it.

I let my tongue slip into his mouth and I felt a smile appear on his lips as I kissed him passionately. I wanted this to go on forever, but neither him nor I had forever. He became more aggressive with me and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me up against his chest so our bodies were now touching. I tangled my fingers in his dark hair and let my lips move against his evenly. My leg hitched around his thigh as he deepened the kiss. Then he parted our mouths so both of us could breath and he soon started to trail kisses on my jaw line that eventually led down to my neck.

"I'm going to miss you," I said as he took his lips off of my neck and rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"I miss you already," he stared into my eyes, his looking a little devastated.

"I'm still here," I placed my hand on his chest right where his heart was, "Hopefully I'll always be there," I referred to his heart.

Then I put my hand on top of his hand and placed it on my chest, "You know you'll always be here."

He grinned, "Enough talking," his eyes filled with desire again as he enclosed the space between us for the second time, letting our lips move in synchronicity. I knew that ten would come too quickly and saying goodbye to him would come even faster than that because time has never been on my side, so why should it suddenly be on my side now?

**so the next chapter will be pretty frickin awesome because it's when Paul phases *does a happy dance* (it's not that great...) but yeah! the next chapter is basically written i just need to add a little more to it! and i won't be able to get around to it until later on cause of stupid exams and stuff...ugh...**

**and of course you will get to see none other than JACOB FREAKING BLACK!!!!!! in the next chapter! wootness!**

**talk to you all later :D**

**oh and reviews are greatly appreciated :D  
**


	8. 7 And then there was one

**YAY!!! finally Paul phases!!!! and it's finally Summer for me!!! :D  
**

**i hope you all enjoy this...i really enjoyed writing it haha **

**and this is probably the longest chapter i've ever written...it came out to be like 11 pages long. **

**here's where the more familiar characters kinda sorta come into play ;]  
**

* * *

_Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind  
Where worries are washed out to sea  
See the changes, people's faces blurred out  
Like sun spots or raindrops_

_Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time  
but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind_

_Left the only worries I had in my hands  
Away from the light in my eyes  
Holding tight and try not to hide how I feel  
'Cause feelings mean nothing now_

_**Yesterday's Feelings, The Used**_

_**

* * *

  
**_**  
**Chapter 7

And then there was one

I don't get the concept of a barbeque. It basically just consists of people cooking fatty foods and putting out fatty appetizers so people could get fat. Wow, sounds sooo tempting…

I was resistant to coming down from my room because I didn't want to have to go to this dumb ass barbeque. I could hear the voices of my father's friends in the backyard and I grunted when I saw all of them with smiles on their faces. I wasn't going to smile because this was not something that I wanted to celebrate. I'm just stupid like that.

With my arms crossed, I sat at my desk and stared into the trees that lined the back of our property. It seemed like everyone was in nice clothes, I examined my outfit, I was wearing my shoes that were full of mud and some worn out, ripped jeans. The top I was wearing was purple with black stripes, not too formal…well actually, my outfit isn't formal at all. I sighed; I sure as hell am not changing. As I watched all of the teenagers arrive, with unhappy expressions on their faces, I searched for some sign of Jared. There was none…

Someone knocked three times on the door and I slumped into my chair even more.

"I'm not going to get up!" I shouted from my seat.

They soon opened the door and I heard their footsteps walking towards me, "Stubborn are we?"

Paul leaned up against my wall and eyed me with a grin on his face.

I looked up at him, "I don't want to go…"

"I can see that," I stared at him and realized that he was wearing something nice like the rest of them. His dark colored jeans fitted his huge legs nicely and his blue buttoned down shirt outlined each of his muscles perfectly.

"You look nice," I pointed out.

"You look better," he smiled, "I would've worn something comfortable, but my mom got pretty pissed that I snuck out again so I figured I would actually listen to her today."

"Uh huh, I'm sure," I rolled my eyes and laughed, "You want to go to this don't you?"

He nodded, "But only if you go with me," he extended his hand out towards me and I shook my head.

"I'm not gonna celebrate the fact that I'm moving. Besides, I don't want to talk to any of those people."

He shrugged, "Then just talk to me," he walked towards my desk and reached for my hand again, "Please?" he pouted and I rolled my eyes again.

"You are such a baby," I hesitated to take his hand. There was no other reason as to why I would go except for the fact that Paul was going to be there. And seeing as he got all dressed up just for this, I figured that, ugh I hate to say it, but I figured that I would surrender. So I took his hand, "Fine I'll go, but if I get caught up in an awkward conversation then you better save me."

He chuckled, "Of course I will, but only if you do the same for me."

"I'm not making any promises," I squeezed his hand as he led the way to the party.

When we got down the stairs I regretted letting him hold my hand because he was definitely stronger than me and if I wanted to escape I wouldn't be able to get out of his grip…which sucks.

I groaned when we got to the back door, regretting my decision, "Please can we just go back upstairs?" I pleaded.

He turned towards me and put on a reassuring smile, "No, we can't," I shook my head and he leaned his face in closer to mine, pecking me lightly on the lips, "Come on, you said you'd go. I'm pretty sure your father would appreciate it," oh so he's playing the father card now? Well it was working, but I couldn't let him see that. I bit my bottom lip for a moment and put on my best puppy dog eyes to see if he would buy it, but he saw right through them and shook his head, "Not gonna work."

I softly laughed, "You know me way too well."

"Yep, I do," he turned back around and opened the door without stopping this time. I was officially defeated and there was no turning back now. So I figured that I would just have to suck it up and live it down as much as I didn't want to.

At first we just walked hand in hand throughout my backyard. But then, Paul started to talk to some people that I didn't know, so I was left alone. I figured that I might as well drink something so that I wouldn't be stuck standing around like an idiot. Leah Clearwater gave me a disgusted glare and I glared just as disgusted, if not more disgusted, right back at her. She and Sam used to be the biggest thing ever known to La Push High School. But supposedly something happened and Sam broke up with her. Ha, I would too if I was going out with a bitch like her. Basically she never really liked me and I never really liked her. So, it's perfect!

Just before I could say something snotty to the bitch, Paul took my hand again and kissed my cheek. Leah scoffed at the two of us and I flicked her off, just to make her get pissed. Thankfully, Paul tugged me away before she could react. Although I'm pretty sure she wanted to. Score one for me, the immature one.

As we walked away I took in a big and deep breath. The smell of steaks and ribs filled the air and I had to admit, it did smell pretty damn good. But besides the food I didn't understand why we were having a 'going away' barbeque. Sure, let's get all our friends together so we can talk about New York some more! Because that's totally what I want to be thinking about right now…

"I can't believe I'm leaving in two weeks," I muttered mostly to myself in hopes that Paul wouldn't hear that, but by the big sigh he let out I'm sure he heard.

"It seems so unreal…like it hasn't hit me yet."

"I know, and it completely sucks," my eyes wandered around the area as I saw each of my father's friend's faces. Of course all of their kids were dragged to this thing. And they all had the same 'I don't want to be here' look on their faces. Ha, I didn't blame them…it really sucked being here and knowing that this was the last party you would be having here.

The one face I didn't see, and haven't seen for about two weeks now, made me start to worry, "Have you seen or talked to Jared lately?"

He chuckled without humor, "I've tried time and time again. He won't pick up his phone and whenever I try to knock on his door his mom always answers and tells me he's sick and he won't accept any visitors."

"That's…weird," I paused, "He's never acted like this before. I mean I get that he's sick, but he usually calls us when he is."

My father came towards us with a pleased grin on his face, "Steaks are done guys. I suggest you grab some now," he winked at us quickly and then went back to where the crowd of people was standing.

We walked over to the picnic table that a bunch of teenagers were sitting at. It was mostly full of boys that I didn't know very well. Well boys that I didn't give two shits about. I examined each of their faces carefully and just made sure that Jared wasn't hiding in between one of them and I sat down next to, I glanced at the guy next to me, Jacob Black while Paul went to get us food.

"Looking for someone?" he asked.

I looked at him and thought, _why the hell do you care?_

"Jared Foster. Not that it's any of your business anyways…"

"Ouch, that hurt," I rolled my eyes, you bet it did. I started to take a drink of the water in front of me, "Well even though I don't know him that much, I do know what he looks like and last time I saw him he was out and about with Sam Uley."

It took me about two seconds to absorb the words until I finally spit out my drink, all over Embry Call…I think? Oops…

"Wait, you saw him with Sam Uley?" I turned my head towards him and waited for his response.

He looked back at me with a confused look in his eyes, "They looked like they were hanging out or something…I don't know…from what I saw they looked like pretty good friends."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now. Jared hated Sam as much as me and Paul did. Sam was, and correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure these were his exact words, a 'stuck up jerk with a stick stuck sideways up his ass.' At least that's what Jared thought of him as.

I saw Paul walking towards the table with our food and from the shocked look on my face he furrowed his eyebrows, "What the hell happened to you?" he asked as he set a plate of food in front of me and sat down in the seat across from me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I just heard something I didn't expect to hear, that's all."

"Uh…really I thought you knew," Jacob sounded pretty weirded out by my reaction and everyone else seemed to be just the same.

"Knew what?" Paul glared at Jacob as if he had done something wrong.

"That…your friend Jared was hanging out with Sam the other day."

Paul dropped the fork full of potato salad that was in his hand and it fell onto Embry's lap. This was not his day to be at a barbeque…the poor guy got water spit of him and potato salad dumped on his pants.

I heard everyone starting to laugh beside him and Paul and I were the only ones that still looked shocked. I slightly saw Paul's hand fold into a fist and he suddenly pounded it on the table, "That fucking hypocrite!" he shouted and got up from the table.

"What's up with him…" Jacob whispered beside me. He didn't even know Paul so I don't know why he cared.

"Nothing…I'll be right back," I got up from my seat and followed after him. It didn't take me long to find him because he only went to his jeep. I guess that's his new place to vent. He slammed the car door shut and put both of his hands on the steering wheel, gripping it fiercely.

I sighed and put my hands in my pockets as I walked up to the car and opened the door. I knew he wouldn't lock it…

I slowly sat in the seat beside him and stayed silent for a moment before I said something, "I know you're upset, believe me I am too. But maybe he has a good reason for-,"

"For what completely ignoring us? For hanging out with the one person we all hate?" he scoffed, "Yeah, I'm sure he has a wonderful reason for turning into a complete ass…"

"Ugh, I don't know Paul, I really don't know anymore," I felt myself starting to lose my temper as well…but I knew that it wouldn't help anything if I got angry now. I took a couple of deep breaths before I put my hand on top of his hand that was gripping the steering wheel. For some reason it felt…really hot, but I shrugged it off and figured it was my mind playing tricks on me, "He'll come around, I'm sure."

He shook his head in denial, "I don't think he will. It's just…when he got sick in the car that one day, I felt completely helpless because he just kept… shaking! And he was burning up. I had no idea what to do except call his dad," he paused, "And he told me to bring him home instead of the hospital. The one person who was always so protective of his son told me to bring Jared home when he was shaking like he was having a seizure instead of going to the emergency room," another pause, "He seemed so confident that he would be ok that I couldn't help but feel angry. I've been worried about him and I hear from Jacob Black that he's been hanging out with Sam Uley when he's supposedly too sick to have any visitors."

I didn't know what to think of that. Really, what Paul said did make me believe that Jared had turned into a complete ass. It's almost like he turned into, I hate to say it, but it's like he turned into Sam, "Asshole," I mumbled.

"Exactly," Paul replied and I felt him slightly twitch, letting out a pained grumble soon afterwards.

I acknowledged his hot hand again and immediately released my grip on him, "Are you ok?" I asked.

His eyes were shut tight, "I don't know…once and a while I'll feel this twinge of pain," he opened his eyes again and looked at me.

"Would a kiss make it all better?" I sheepishly grinned.

He let go of the steering wheel and turned his body more in my direction, "It sure wouldn't hurt anything."

He lifted my chin up with his finger, not to mention weirdly hot finger, and our lips met once again. I flinched from the hot feeling that was radiating off of his mouth, but soon smashed our lips together again, ignoring it. We explored new boundaries and were not really precautious with the way we kissed. Actually I liked how aggressive he was getting. So, figuring that I should be aggressive myself, I grazed his bottom lip with my tongue, hoping for entrance. He slowly gave in and our tongues explored each of the damp depths that they had entered. He slipped his hand up the back of my shirt and soon started to suck on the skin of my neck, nipping my skin lightly. I took the opportunity to take a breather.

After a minute of us kissing aggressively I felt Paul twitch again and he let out another groan, a bigger groan. He pulled away from me and sat back up against his chair with his eyes closed.

I reached my hand out and placed it on his shoulder, taking it off as soon as I felt him shaking.

"Paul!" I shouted over his painful moans.

Flashes of a couple of weeks ago went through my head as I remember the exact same thing happening to Jared before he got all weird…please tell me Paul won't get weird too.

I quickly opened the door and ran around to the other side. I forced his door to open and saw that he was shaking more than he was two seconds ago. I took his hand in mine and felt a single tear stream down my face as I tried, but failed to think of a plan, "Paul please," I shook my head, "Don't do this to me now."

He opened his eyes and looked over at me, "Sammy," he muttered through his groans. I heard some people coming from the backyard, but I kept my eyes on Paul as he squeezed my hand while he shook, "I…I won't."

And then I was pushed out of the way by my father who grabbed Paul's arm and helped him out of the car. I wiped the tears that were on my cheek and tried to keep new ones from forming as I looked at him. He seemed like he was in so much agonizing pain that it hurt me to even look in his direction, "Paul," I cried and looked away from him.

"I'll take him home Dan," I heard someone's voice, Harry Clearwater's I think, say, "You stay here and make sure Sammy's ok."

"No! I want to go with him!" I shouted, remembering what happened to Jared when I last saw him shaking and in pain. It was then that I stopped talking with him.

I felt Billy put his hand on my arm, "It'd be best if you stayed her Sammy," he told me in a calm tone. My father and Billy were standing on either side of me without showing any sort of emotion whatsoever. It was like nothing to them.

I pulled my arm out of his grip and shook my head, "No! I'm not going to lose him too!"

I didn't know if what I was saying was making any sense. But by the way my dad and Billy exchange the same worried glance I figured they knew what I meant and I was the only idiot here.

Paul screamed in pain again and I felt myself get stabbed in the heart by an invisible knife as my father wrapped his arm around me and tugged me away from the scene…

***

I sat on the porch and just stared at an ant that was walking across the sidewalk. The tiny little thing was carrying another ant that was somehow squished. As I watched it, I thought about how this little ant could help its friend out when it was hurting while I couldn't even do the same for Paul. I sat back and watched as my friend was in pain…how much more helpless could I get?

My eyes were set on the ground where the insect scampered to find safety. And then someone's big huge foot stomped down onto the poor thing. Just like that, the bug was dead. His hard work was all for nothing, "You killed it," I mumbled low and then picked my head up to see who it was.

My eyes widened in surprise when I saw Jacob staring down at me with a small grin on his face, "Hey," he said.

"Hi…" I scooted over so he could sit down and he didn't hesitate to sit beside me.

"I heard that Paul had to go home and I was wondering if you were ok."

I looked at my feet and scrunched my brows together, "What exactly did you hear?" I asked instead of saying thank you. Why did he give a crap?

"Umm…I think everyone pretty much heard him screaming…." He chuckled, trying to ease the tension I could feel between us.

I didn't laugh, I just sighed, "He looked like he was in so much pain," I shook my head, "I felt so helpless. The only thing I did was cry like a soap opera star and watch your father take him away, trying to get out of my dad's grip like a dumb ass. As if I could catch up with a freaking car…"

"I'm sorry," he lowered his head a bit, "I hope he gets better."

"Thanks," I replied. Soon enough I started to wonder why he was even apologizing or asking me if I was ok, "Hey Jacob?"

"Yeah?" he looked at me.

"Why do you give a damn? I mean we've never talked before…well except for that one time in biology last year, but other than that we haven't said two sentences to each other."

He half smiled, "I guess I just thought I'd be nice. I mean you don't seem that bad and since Jared and Paul aren't here I assumed that you could use someone to talk to," he shrugged, "So let's get to know each other."

I chuckled, "Who said I want to talk to _you_? There are plenty of other people I could talk to at the moment if you haven't noticed."

He raised his eyebrows, "Strike number two."

I rolled my eyes, "I was just kidding, no need to get your undies in a bunch."

He looked at me in a crazy way, "What the hell?"

Both of us started to laugh together and I found myself gasping for air because of his reaction to my statement. When we both finished wiping the tears out of our eyes he cleared his throat, "So really what is this barbeque for?"

"You mean to tell me that you don't even know what kind of party you're attending?"

He nodded.

"Ok, well to answer your question it's a going away barbeque. Me and my dad are moving to New York in two weeks," I sighed. Why do I always feel unhappy when I talk about moving?

"Damn, I wish I could move to a place that people actually knew about…" he chuckled, "Wanna trade places? Cause you seem less than enthused about going."

"It's not that I don't want to go it's just," I shook my head, "What I'll be leaving behind…"

He paused for a moment and then he looked at me again, "What are you leaving behind exactly? If you don't mind me asking."

I smiled. Why was Jacob Black being so sincere all of a sudden? Not that I didn't like it, "Well for one Paul. We've been inseparable since we met and he's helped me get through a lot. And I recently discovered that my feelings for him went a lot further than I thought. But of course, I had to figure that out now when I'm about to leave," I sighed and glanced at Jacob to see what he thought of this and I was surprised when he was staring at me, looking like he was interested in every word I was speaking…creepy, "And another reason is because…my mother's grave is here."

I closed my eyes from the pain I felt when I said that. I don't know why I trust him so much as to tell him my whole freaking life story, but he seemed like the type of person who wouldn't judge me or jump to conclusions. Ha, right…you've known him for how long? And you've spoken to him for what? Two minutes?

"Those are good reasons," he nodded, "And I completely understand why you wouldn't want to go."

"You do?" I was set back by his response. Was he being an ass? Or was he being truthful?

"Believe it or not if I had to move somewhere those would be my two reasons as to why I wouldn't want to go. I mean Paul isn't my friend…but…you get my point I hope."

I chuckled, "I think I do."

He continued on, "See, my mother died in a car crash when I was only seven. And to this day I try to be the son she always wanted. I don't want to let my father down and I don't want to forget my mother. But it's hard because I was only a kid…so I don't remember much about her. Which is why I like La Push, because it helps me keep my memories of her intact, in a way."

I felt like I was hearing my story all over again. It seems exactly like what happened to me…scary.

"And then there's Bella Swan," he sighed. I kept my eyes on him as I listened to his words carefully and as I read his expressions. When he spoke her name he seemed happier in a way, "I care about her so much," he shook his head, "She doesn't seem to see that though. I try so hard to be the guy she wants, the guy she'll go to when she needs to talk about something. I was so close to having her," his grin faded into a frown, "Then the asshole Edward Cullen had to come into the picture. She loves him now. And it hurts me to see that I'm not the guy she wants to be with anymore. I can tell he's not right for her."

Wow… wow…and wow. I was so shocked that Jacob was spilling his guts to _me _out of all people. I mean I could see so many similarities between the two of us, but I never thought he'd tell me this much about him.

"I take it you don't like this Edward guy?" well that was dumb, he already called him an asshole.

"He's just…weird," he curved his lip in disgust, "I don't want her to get hurt by that moron."

I chuckled, "Well then beat up that _moron_."

"Seriously?" his eyes blazed with curiosity and passion. I'm guessing that passion was to rip Edward to shreds.

"No, just kidding. That wouldn't help you get closer to this….Bella girl," I thought about what advice I could give him on this situation. What I soon came up with seemed like it was something that could possibly work, "What I'm really trying to say is just be there for her. Don't let Edward phase you; forget about him for the time being. Be the Jacob who will do anything for her because you never know when she'll need you the most."

He seemed to be taking in what I was saying for a moment and I was wondering if anything I said had made sense to him. I mean I didn't know the whole situation, I only knew what he told me, which wasn't much.

"Sorry did I say something wrong? Or do you usually act this retarded when someone gives you advice?" I waved my hand in front of his face and he soon grabbed my wrist.

"I'm not stupid, I heard what you were saying. It's just…do you always give this good of advice to people?"

"Yeah, I'm the next Dr. Phil," I rolled my eyes.

"You could be…" he shrugged, "Just saying."

We both started to laugh with each other. I didn't know how long we were sitting here for, but I didn't really care either because he was able to keep me from thinking about the bad things in my life right now. And I appreciated his presence for that reason.

"Thanks for cheering me up Jacob," I smiled, "It really helps."

"Call me Jake," he winked, "And thanks for the advice Samantha."

"Ugh, I despise the length of my name. Call me Sammy and you can be my friend," lame, he doesn't want to be my friend…

"Ok, Sammy," ok he does want to be my friend.

"Ok, Jake," I said, "Seems like I misjudged you. I mean I knew you weren't a Sam Uley, but I never thought you could be so genuine."

"Thanks I guess. I'll take the Sam Uley part as a compliment."

"I never liked him," my nose wrinkled in disgust at the sound of his name, "He was a jerk to me ever since grade school."

"Oh God, you went to grade school with him? My heart goes out to you," his eyes widened, "He's an asshole."

"I know, which is why I'm angry with the fact that Jared's suddenly hanging out with him!" I groaned.

"Beat his ass and knock some sense into him."

"I would…but he's not around anymore."

Our conversation was soon interrupted by Billy, "Time to get home Jake," he said and then he looked at me, "Feeling ok Sammy?"

I nodded, "I'll be fine…"

He smiled and nudged Jacob, "I'll be by the car," he turned his wheelchair towards me, "It was nice seeing you Sammy."

"You too," Billy was a great guy all around. He and my dad would always go on fishing trips over the weekend and my dad would bring home what he caught every Sunday. I'm going to miss seeing my dad's face light up when he brings a fish home because you obviously can't fish in the city.

"I'll see you around Sammy," Jacob smiled and stood up.

"Ok," I stood up with him and walked onto the sidewalk, "It was nice talking to you Jake."

He grinned, "You too. Tell Paul I hope he feels better."

I nodded, "I will."

He started to turn on his heels, but stopped, "I'm glad i got to know you a little," he shrugged, "You're not so bad."

I chuckled, "I could say the same to you. Thanks Jake."

He smiled and turned back around, putting his hands in his pockets and glancing back at me once.

As I watched him walk to the car I thought for a moment. I was really wrong about Jake…he's not so bad. Actually, we're pretty similar. And anyone who could cheer me up while I'm in a crappy mood is good in my book.

**hmmm...tell me what you think...no Jacob does not like her more than a friend. He's just trying to be a good guy because Paul had to leave/he had to phase for the first time...(cause Jacob's pretty damn good...inside and...out hehe)**

**Reviews are nice, especially long ones....*hint hint*  
**


	9. 8 He Hates Me

**blah i burned my forehead with the straightener XP**

**not that you care but um....yeah here's another update...i have a graduation party to go to today and i was gonna go nuts if i didn't post this soon**

**and i don't have my precious laptop anymore *cries* cause it's the school's and i'm planning on getting my own...maybe...yeah...hopefully...**

**lol i'm done talking XD**

**(no wait...i'm not...check out this song that i used for this chapter...it's awesome! and it fits well with the story i think)  
**

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_Left alone with empty hands  
Losing you is more than I can stand, I can't mend  
Close my eyes, and made a wish  
To lose myself so I'll forget about you it's no use_

_Swore to never ever leave you  
To never let you out of my hands  
Nothing here could ever change this  
A promise til the living end  
I swore I'd never stray from you_

_**Stray, The Exies**_

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Chapter 8

He Hates Me

I loved Paul, more than anything. Even more than life itself. Sure, that's great and all…but right now it's not. My head hurt from worrying about him. And every time I closed my eyes, I saw him in pain. It made me flinch when I saw that mental image of him shaking. There's just one problem, well one big problem. He won't speak to me. He hasn't called or texted me back to tell me he's feeling better, nothing like that at all. I've done everything I could do at this point. It felt like a replay of last week when I was worrying about Jared. Only this felt so much worse.

The house was completely still. My dad was at work and I was just sitting on the couch, hoping that he would call. It's been about a week since the barbeque. A week of me sitting at home, doing nothing. A week of me not being able to sleep, because I was having continuous nightmares. The nightmares were terrible and a lot worse than the ones I used to have of my mother right after she died. Those were expected, as my therapist told me. Those nightmares were replays of my mother's death, or what I thought would be her death. The ones I was having were just…strange. They were completely random, and yet they were freaky. It was just me, standing there with Paul. Everything was fine until he suddenly just exploded into some sort of wolf. Right after he exploded I would wake up, panting and sweating. It was terrible.

Suddenly, my phone started to vibrate and I jumped, but I quickly picked it up and opened it, without reading the caller ID.

"Hello?" I said anxiously, thinking and hoping that it was Paul.

"Hey Sammy," and then I slumped into the couch. I regret giving Jake my number because every time he either texts me or calls, I assume its Paul. I'm such an idiot…

"I need to stop," I muttered.

"What?" he replied.

"Every time you call me I think its Paul. Have you seen him lately?"

"No," he sighed, "Still worrying I see?"

"Of course I am. It's just weird how first Jared stops talking to me and now Paul. It's not like either of them…"

"I keep telling you to just go over to his house and talk to him. Why don't you listen to me?"

Oh, I can find a couple of reasons, "Because I don't want to go over there and talk to him right now!"

He chuckled, "God, if I knew you were this stubborn I would've never have tried to help you in the first place."

"Why'd you call Jake?" I know I shouldn't be acting so bitter right now, but I am anyways.

"One week left right?" he completely ignored my question, how nice.

"Stop reminding me! You suck Jacob Black!"

I could tell that he was rolling his eyes. I didn't need him to be here to know that, "I don't care if I suck. I was just wondering if you wanted to investigate a little."

I raised my eyebrow, "Investigate? What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Ok, I did. It kind of reminded me of when Paul, Jared, and I wanted to sneak out of the house at one in the morning. I got the same eerie feeling again, "I don't know…you think we should?"

"I don't think it would hurt anything. Come on, you could use a little excitement right now."

"Fine, but I'm not doing this for my health you know."

"No, you're doing it for your curiosity. I'll be at your house in about ten minutes."

"Ok, see you in ten minutes idiot," I smirked.

"See you stubborn ass."

I chuckled at his statement and then I took the phone away from my ear and closed it. It's weird how I've come to like Jake. He's actually a really good guy. I don't see how this Bella person doesn't see that. She's a really stupid person in my opinion, but a goddess in Jake's eyes. I scoffed when I thought about her. That's all he talks about lately. Maybe I can go give this girl a piece of my mind. I smiled at the thought.

When I got to my room I changed into a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. I don't know when the last time I changed out of my pajamas was and I can't seem to remember when the last time I got out of the house is. I'd have to thank Jacob for getting me out of my couch potato state later…

I walked over to where my shoes were lying and sat on my bed so I could put them on and tie them. As soon as I was finished I got up and looked down at my desk. My sketchbook had been lying open for days on the same page. And that was the page that I drew Paul on. Why I didn't close it before, I don't know. But I really wish I did because a whole bunch of emotions suddenly came over me and I had to close my eyes in order to keep the tears from coming out. I hadn't cried about him ever since he…well got sick. If he even is sick. I don't know what to think anymore.

Before I could compose myself, the doorbell rang. I opened my eyes and wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I walked down the stairs and towards the door. When I opened it, Jacob smiled and I couldn't help but smile along with him.

"You sure do know how to make someone feel better," I closed the door behind me and locked it with my key.

"I didn't do anything…" he looked at me with a weird expression on his face as we walked down the stairs.

"No, you didn't. But your smile sure did," I nudged him.

I could tell that he knew that I was crying before by the way he frowned. I guess my eyes were red…

"He's probably fine Sammy," he tried to reassure me.

"And that's exactly why I'm upset. If he's fine then he could at least call me or something."

He shrugged, "That's true."

I didn't know where we were going at all so I decided to ask him, "Where are we going to investigate Sherlock?"

"Somewhere," he answered.

"Wow, so you dragged me out here and now you don't even know where we're going? I take back the Sherlock statement…"

He shook his head and grinned, "Be patient, I'm trying to think of where he would go."

Something sparked in my mind that might or might not be helpful to us, "Where did you see Jared and Sam?" I looked at him and waited for his answer.

He seemed to be thinking about it, "In Port Angeles. Don't tell me we're going there."

"Yeah we are. You're the one who wanted to investigate," I smirked.

"That was before I knew that you wanted to go there. It's going to take forever to walk there," he complained.

I rolled my eyes, "Are you so out of shape that you can't even walk a couple miles?"

He paused for a moment and then glared at me, "Fine," he sighed, "But I'm not staying there long," he looked up at the sky, "It's supposed to rain."

I chuckled, "You're such a little pansy."

He shook his head and smiled, "And you don't act like a girl."

I nodded, "That's true."

I started to think of Jared and how we used to bicker like this all the time. It didn't really make me think about how much things have changed until right now. I used to dislike Jacob for whatever reason and now look at me, I'm becoming his friend. I'm growing farther and farther apart from Jared and closer to Jake. It's just making me think, what will happen with me and Paul. I shuddered.

"Sammy," Jake said, "Are you ok?"

I grinned, "I'll be fine."

We kept walking on and neither one of us talked. But then, Jake took a deep breath and I glanced at him.

"You know, I never realized how much this could you hurt until now," he said, lowly.

I looked at him, confusion written all over my face, "What do you mean?"

"You love him," he nodded, "That's easy to see. And now he's avoiding you for God knows what reason. It must suck."

Ok…that makes me feel shittier, "It really does," I looked off into the distance as we walked down the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry. If we see him, I'll beat him up for you," he looked at me, "If you want me to."

I laughed, "It's ok, you don't have to. And there's no reason for you to be sorry Jake. I should be thanking you, actually."

"Why would you be thanking me?" his eyes narrowed.

I shrugged one shoulder, "You're getting me out of the house aren't you? I mean I haven't been out of the house in days. All I've been doing is sulking," I shook my head and shut my eyes for a second, "I can't stop thinking about him, though. I try, but I fail epically. I'm worrying mostly…sometimes I'm angry and other times I'm confused. It's just…hard."

He stared at me and didn't say a word. I kept my head down and just watched both of our feet as we proceeded on, "I understand," he nearly whispered.

Oh God now he sounds depressed, "I don't mean to ruin your day by telling you how much my life sucks," I raised my head and put on a fake smile, "How's Bella?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Sammy, you don't have to fake it. You can be angry, you should be angry actually. Don't try to change the subject..it won't help anything."

I've only known him for a week and he already knows when I'm lying. I need to learn how to lie better, "Like you said," I sighed, "I still love him. So I'm not angry. I mean look at you, Bella's with this weirdo and you're not angry with her."

I could see him putting that into perspective, "Touché," he replied.

I chuckled, "And just like you told me that you would beat up Paul for me. I'll beat up Bella for you. Only if you want me to, but I'm pretty sure that if I saw her then I'd be tempted to smack her in the face."

"Um…why?" he half smiled, did he like the idea? I guess the idea of two girls fighting would be a turn on for a guy…gross…

"Because she doesn't even see how great you are. Edward has her brainwashed from what you've told me and from what I'm assuming."

He looked at me and I looked back at him, "Thanks. You're pretty great too."

I smiled at him. He was really sweet and kind. A practical savior since he got me to smile, and I haven't smiled this much in days. He should get a medal for being the only person who can make someone feel better about a sucky situation.

We walked the rest of the way joking and laughing with each other. I felt myself growing fonder of Jacob every time I smiled because it was because of him that I was actually happy at the moment. Once we reached Port Angeles though, my happiness started to fade. We came here to figure out what was going on with Paul and Jared, to see if they were here by any chance since Jake saw Jared here last week. At this point I was having second thoughts on this whole investigation thing because the chances of us seeing him here were slim, really slim.

I stopped walking at the intersection and didn't start walking when the light changed. Jacob was going to keep walking, but he noticed my hesitation, so he didn't.

"We can't back out now Sam," he reached his hand out to take mine. I started to see images of Paul in my head. It was when he was trying to get me to go to the barbeque. The image of him with a grin on his face stayed in my mind as much as I didn't want it to, "If we see him, then we'll deal with it. I'll help you," he smiled reassuringly.

I was resistant to closing my eyes because I knew that the first thing I would see was Paul. I didn't even want to blink…it was too risky. Jake kept his hand extended and just waited patiently for me. I refocused on him and nodded my head, placing my hand in his. He enclosed his fingers around my hand and then he lead the way across the street. I couldn't help but look around just in case I saw him somewhere. I don't know what I would do if I did see him though. Would I be mad? Maybe…like Jake said, I should be angry. But how long could I really be mad at him for? I mean it was Paul for God's sake.

Jake stopped walking and looked around for a second before turning towards me, "You ok?" he asked.

I hesitantly nodded and squeezed his hand to let him know that I was fine. He looked me in the eyes once to make sure that I wasn't lying before he turned around and continued to walk on. We looked everywhere, well everywhere that we thought they would be. I saw no sign of them and soon started to lose any hope. I wanted my friends back. Thankfully I had Jacob, he was a good friend. But there was still two people missing…one in particular that I missed the most.

After a while of us looking around we stopped in one of the local cafés and grabbed something to eat. I didn't eat much; I mostly just poked at my salad. Jake didn't bother to ask me why I was eating because I'm pretty sure that he knew the reason. He finished up the burger that he was eating and threw away both of our trays of food. I got up from the table and walked over to where he was standing.

"I'm going outside for a minute," I said.

He nodded, "I'll pay."

"No, I should pay for my food. I mean why should you have to?" I started to reach into my purse to get out some money, but his hand grabbed my wrist and made me stop.

He smiled, "I want to. I'll be out in a minute."

I didn't feel like arguing anymore so I stopped, "Thanks Jake."

"No problem," he walked to the counter after that and I walked out the door.

I looked to the right of me and then the left before I started to think of them. My eyes were closed and I let everything just pick at me now. I didn't care; I just wanted it to stop. So maybe, just maybe I could get rid of this hurt by letting these thoughts consume me now.

Just as I was about to break down, I felt someone bump into me and I quickly opened my eyes so I could apologize to whoever I ran into.

"Sor-," before I could spit out what I was saying my jaw dropped at who I saw. I didn't know if it was really him because his hair was short, really short, and he looked so much different, "Jared?" I questioned.

He stared me down for a second before looking away, "Hey," he said, sounding almost ashamed or something. I guess it is him.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him now, but only one question could fully develop in my mind, "What happened to-,"

"I can't talk to you Sammy," he interrupted me, "Don't ask any questions…Its better this way," he looked over my shoulder and I turned my head to see what he was looking at, or rather who he was looking at. I was shocked to hear him say that to me.

I looked back at Jared, "Sam Uley? Is that why you can't talk to me?" I shook my head and acted as if Sam wasn't creeping right behind me. I didn't care if he heard me talking about him, I hated him.

"It's not Sam," he gritted his teeth, "Just get out of here Sammy," his hands were clenched into fists and I saw him starting to shake…like he did before. But what was even more surprising was his harsh tone.

I stared at him, "But-,"

"Stop it!" he yelled, but he soon sighed as if he were trying to calm down, "I can't…" he shook his head angrily before he looked over my shoulder again, "Goodbye Sammy," and then he walked around me and started to stalk off with Sam. I just watched while my lips quivered. I couldn't move my legs or even shut my eyelids to stop the tears from coming. All I could do was stare as he turned the corner, not even bothering to look back at me. Hurt was an understatement compared to how I felt right now and I wondered how things could've gotten so bad this fast.

Just before my legs gave out Jake was standing in front of me, holding either of my arms so I wouldn't fall, "What happened?" he asked obviously concerned.

"Jared," I muttered before the waterworks decided to make their appearance. I couldn't speak anymore because I was crying too much. Even though I didn't see Paul, seeing Jared hurt just as bad as I thought it would and hearing him talk to me so disrespectfully hurt even worse.

Jacob pulled me into his arms as he said, "I'm sorry Sammy. I wish there was some way that I could help."

I shook my head, "There's nothing you can…do," my voice cracked, "He…hates me."

And it was true, he really did hate me. He just looked at me in a way that made me feel like I no longer mattered to him. Not to mention the way he spoke to me. It was like I didn't even exist anymore, like I was a piece of trash or something.

"Can we please…go?" I looked up at him, hoping that he would say yes.

He nodded, "Yeah, let's go."

He helped me walk even though I could, but I didn't mind. He was a great friend and now my only friend. I don't even want to think about what could've happened to Paul or about what Paul thinks of me now. I wonder how much he hates me now too. And I can only think that he hates me so much more than Jared does…as much as I didn't want to admit it.

**Jared's a jerk? What? D:**

**i feel like harry potter right now with my burn thingy i keep like touching it and thinking i'm harry potter. I should get my glasses...**

**and yes! i am crazy!! :D**

**but crazy in a good way**

**next chapter should be up as soon as i think of what i'm going to do**

**i need your opinions though...should i just start writing from where i left off in the prologue and go with that sort of thing or come up with something different? (and if i do use the prologue idea i will add more to the beginning don't worry and things will be changed around if i do use it)**

**tell me what you think i should do because i'm doing this for all of your enjoyment! **

**(sorry for the long Author's Note XP caffeine makes me jittery)  
**


	10. 9 Grim Goodbye

**Ahhh! so i was extremely bored today so i managed to write this whole chapter. I would've updated sooner it's just that this chapter took a lot of thought because...well you'll see i don't want to spoil it**

**so i hope you like it, tell me what you think  
**

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_Woah my eyes  
woah closing slowly_

_Don't you try to take me down,  
don't you try to take me over,  
won't you try to break me?_

_The complexities moving in,  
and I feel that I do not have the strength,  
tragedies plaguing me solemnly  
It's affecting my will_

_But wait, now that I've found you,  
situations from dark now change to gray  
Disregarding my absence of memories,  
it's perpetually blinding me of sanity,  
and just when I'm giving in,  
as I try to scale these walls  
Jericho falls around me  
and I feel that I've strayed too long_

_**Grim Goodbye, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**_

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Chapter 9

Grim Goodbye

Goodbye is the worst word ever created. Saying goodbye to someone means you're leaving them, or never seeing them again. Jared said it to me a week ago and it hurts like hell to know that I'll be leaving La Push with one less friend. Who knows though, I could be losing someone else…someone by the name of Paul Alldredge. He swore to me that he would try everything in his power to keep me in his life, but now I'm thinking that it was all a lie. Two weeks…that's how long I've gone without talking to him. Lately I've been crying myself to sleep, but tonight I'm staying awake and I'm not going to let myself cry. I won't because tomorrow is a new day and my last day here in La Push.

I rolled onto my left side and stared at the two suitcases that were stacked up against my wall. It was hard to believe that I'd be leaving my hometown in less than two day. I looked over at my alarm clock; scratch that, less than one day. We had been living for almost a week now without most of our furniture because the moving van had a long way to take the stuff. It was kind of hard…but we're dealing with it. Well I am starting to hate having to sleep in a sleeping bag. It's really uncomfortable...

I squinted my eyes to make sure that the clock was correct and groaned when it read, **5:34** once again. It was surprising to me that I was able to stay awake for that long. I thought that I would eventually be able to fall into a deep sleep or something, but obviously I was wrong. But I did make two promises to myself while I was awake. One would be that I would go over to Paul's house, not to bug him about not talking to me, but to say goodbye. There was no doubt that it would be difficult to face him because who knows what he'll think when he sees me. He could still be the Paul I met in the first grade, or maybe he changed…just like Jared changed.

The second promise was that I would keep in contact with Jake as much as I could. He has been there for me one hundred percent and he's helped me get through the whole situation with Jared. I respect him for his good heartedness and I appreciate the fact that he was there to be my crutch. So, I'm not going to just stop talking to him because I'm moving. I refuse to lose another friend.

I closed my eyes for a moment and saw Paul once again. Only this time I didn't open my eyes to make it go away, I wanted to see him. I don't know how I managed to fall asleep, but I'm guessing that after looking at him for a while my fatigue got the best of me. It wasn't too long after I fell into a deep sleep that I started to have a nightmare. It was another one with Paul, no surprise there.

_We were standing on the shoreline of La Push beach and it was pouring. I was shivering while Paul was standing there with no shirt on and not even bothering to move. He was completely fine from what I saw. _

_I stared him up and down for a minute before looking into his eyes. I couldn't stop staring at them; I just got this weird feeling inside like I had just seen God for the first time. It's crazy, but there's no other way that I could describe what was going on right now. I could tell that he was thinking the exact same thing by the way his mouth was hanging open. _

_Just as I was about to look away, his eyes narrowed and he started to shake, closing his mouth again and looking away from me._

"_Sammy," he hissed, "I don't love you…not as a friend and definitely not as anything more." _

_I froze for a moment before his words hit me, "W-What?" my voice sounded shaky and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to get warmer. _

_He shook his head and turned around, "Forget about me…" his voice trailed off as he walked away and I started to run after him, but my legs soon gave out because of how cold I was. So I just watched as he walked away from me and just lied there in the wet sand until I eventually felt numb…_

"No!" I sat up and put my face in my hands, sobbing from what just happened. Maybe it was trying to tell me something; like Paul really didn't want me anymore and I should just save the tears by not saying goodbye to him. But I promised that I would do it…regardless of the outcome. It was the right thing to do.

After I thought for a couple more minutes I managed to roll out of my sleeping bag and change into some comfortable clothes. Almost everything was packed except for a couple of outfits for today and tomorrow and the rest of my carry-on bag that I would take with me on the plane. Billy was going to drive us to the airport tomorrow so my goodbyes with Jacob could wait. Today my goal was to make my first promise to myself. It was going to take a lot of courage, but I think I can do it, I hope I can do it.

I fixed my hair and put it up into a ponytail and once I was finished I realized how long I really had slept for. It was already three…ugh, stupid annoying thoughts that made me think instead of sleep…

It was raining outside, pouring actually. Was it a coincidence that the weather was exactly the same in my dream? Maybe…hopefully not…this is the one dream that I hoped would stay a dream. Since I didn't have a car I had to walk, so I wore my hooded sweatshirt to keep my hair dry. It was stupid because I would probably get soaked, but who cares really. I just wanted to get to his house already.

I quickly put my shoes on and didn't bother tying them because I didn't want to waste anymore time. My dad was home today because he was finishing up the packing that still needed to be done. I told him that I would be going to Paul's house yesterday and he totally freaked out saying, "You should let him be," and, "Don't bother him!" I eventually managed to convince him that I had to do it. I really can't just leave without seeing him. I need to know if he still cares…

I headed out without saying goodbye. I didn't want to argue with my father anymore about this, so I just left. While I walked I thought about what I was heading for. It would be nice to see that Paul hadn't changed, but I knew that things couldn't be all fine and dandy because he's been distant for the past two weeks so there's obviously something wrong.

The rain came down hard and as I got closer and closer to his house I slowed down because of how cold I was getting. Although, I think that the real reason why I slowed down was because I was nervous. I can truly admit that I'm scared to face the truth. My head was telling me to turn around and go home before I get pneumonia, but my heart was yearning to see him. I would walk in the pouring rain and get pneumonia just to see him. I hope it'll be worth it though…

***

I walked up to the all too familiar house that belonged to the Alldredges. As I was walking I went over how out of character Paul is really acting. I've known him since the first grade and never in his life has he not talked to me for two weeks. He's never avoided me before either which seems a little…strange. Ok, I lied…it's really strange.

My stomach kept flip flopping inside of me and I couldn't help, but feel nervous of what might happen when I knock on the door. Was I crazy to think that he was getting sick of me just like Jared was? Well, I guess today would answer that question. I made a mental image of what he looked like in my mind. The only reason why I did this was because I was a little afraid of what I might see and if he did look terrible, then this image would be the last thing I have to remember him by. He might not even be here for all I know.

A huge husky laugh interrupted my thoughts. I guess he is here and he's…laughing?

I knew that laugh anywhere. I could point it out in a huge crowd full of sixteen year olds. Nothing could compare to the way he laughed because it was the best sound in the world. But it did sound a little bit deeper in a sense. Maybe he had a sore throat or something.

I suddenly realized that I was still standing outside in the freezing rain. My hand was raised to pound on the door, but I wasn't brave enough to actually knock. I heard more voices coming from the inside, all of them very deep and very similar. This was the first time I ever felt nervous about coming here. And then I realized that I was being an idiot.

I shook my head and groaned, _Just do it, _I told myself.

Before I could bring my hand back to my side I knocked exactly four times. For a slight second I squeezed my eyes shut and then I opened them again. One pair of loud footsteps came towards the door and I took a couple deep breaths. I can't cry when I tell him…

My head was pointed towards the ground and I heard the door swing open. My hands were shaking and I was soaking wet from the walk I had to take to get here. Bravely, I raised my head up, only to see what I half expected to happen. He changed, a lot. And he was wearing only cut off shorts with no shirt on, showing off his newly perfected muscles that I've never seen before. I mean yeah he was always a muscular guy, but never in my life did I know that Paul was capable of having a…eight pack.

His hair was cut really short, a buzz cut I'm sure. Not to mention how tall he's gotten. That one fact made me frown, I always liked that we were the same height.

Then I saw that he wasn't even looking at me. He was just staring down at the ground and not even bothering to acknowledge my presence. I stared at him and tried to find out what he was thinking at this point, but his face was blank and it showed no emotion whatsoever.

He glanced at me for a second, well I don't know if it was a glance he sort of just looked past me, and then looked back into the house. I followed his gaze and shook my head at the sight of Sam and Jared. I could've muttered something under my breath, but this isn't the best time to be acting immature so I didn't. Paul seemed to be looking for an answer from one of them and the only one that reacted was Sam, who nodded. Paul looked back at the floor, maybe at our feet I don't know, and closed the door behind him. I was shivering from the cold and waiting for him to say something. Surprisingly he did.

"Why are you here Sammy?" he said in an angry tone, like he didn't want me here.

At that point I wanted to cry and at that moment I knew that he was just like Jared now. My heart dropped while I tried to come up with some sort of response to his question. The only thing I could think was to run now before I got my heart broken, but there was some small part of me that told me to stay and get it over with, so I listened to it and bravely opened my mouth to speak.

"I came to say…goodbye Paul," I looked up at him, he still wouldn't look at me, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

I started to see him shake and his hands soon formed into fists, "Good."

I was set back by his response, and even though it was sort of expected it still hurt like hell, "W-What?" I stuttered and it reminded me of the nightmare I had.

He paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and surprising me by looking at my face for the first time. He stared hard for a moment, like he was searching for something, before looking away and shaking his head, "I said good," he said louder, "…I don't want to see you again. So it's good that you're leaving," he shut his eyes tight.

My heart shattered into a million pieces and I started to feel a bunch of tears building up in my eyes, but I couldn't let him see it so I tried to be strong, "I thought you wanted to try. You said that you would-,"

"I didn't mean it," he clenched his jaw, "I didn't mean…any of it," I saw him shaking even more and he took a couple of deep breaths as if he were trying to calm down.

A small teardrop rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before he could see it, "I don't understand, I thought everything was fine between us."

He hesitated again, "I don't love you, not-,"

"Please," I interrupted because I knew what he was going to say and I didn't feel like hearing it now, "Don't."

He stared at the ground and for a second he looked like he actually felt bad about what he was doing, but he soon covered it up and said, "It's the truth."

My heart stopped and everything inside of me shut down. It was like my whole world was crumbling all around me and there was nothing that could stop it. At this point I didn't care about how cold I was and I didn't care about the fact that I was leaving La Push. He didn't love me and for the first time I was glad that I was moving.

But I wanted to see if it really was the truth or if this was a sick and cruel joke. So, I picked my head up and looked at him, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and I'll be gone, out of your life…forever."

His breath hitched and he slowly brought his gaze up to meet mine and when our gazes met, his eyes widened in surprise and he stared at me, not being able to look away for some reason. It was cruel because for a second I believed that he was lying, that he was still in love with me, but then I thought about how over the past two weeks he's avoided me, which was a sign that I should've seen clearer before. And, by his hesitation I could tell that he wouldn't change his mind.

"I-," he started to say but I interrupted him by nodding and smiling fakely.

"I know," I said, "You don't have to repeat it. It hurts enough already."

"Sammy-,"

"No, its fine," I started to walk down the steps, "You don't want me, I get it. So, lucky for you I'm leaving….I'll forget about you like you want me to. It'll be hard, but I can do it…"

I stepped out into the rain again and welcomed the freezing cold rain that beat down onto my back and before I left I turned to face him, "Goodbye Paul," and then I walked away, leaving him no time to respond.

My heart stung and my head hurt. It was the worst pain that I've ever felt in my entire life. It hurt worse than the pain of losing my mother, the pain of losing Jared. My heart was like Swiss cheese before; there were tiny holes in it, holes that could be filled. But now, my heart is just one huge hole, completely broken. It's broken beyond repair.

Finally, I let my emotions run wild and everything I was feeling suddenly came out in the form of tears, millions of tears. I was shivering so much that I couldn't even sob. My whole body was feeling numb and it wasn't from the cold…it was from the huge missing piece on the left side of my chest…

***

I stayed up until about two in the morning trying to pack because every now and then I would think about him and there would be something that would remind me of him so I would cry. Right after I got home I ran up to my room because I didn't feel like hearing my dad say, "I told you so." Because he was right, I really shouldn't have gone over there.

I called Jake and told him, well sort of told him I couldn't stop sobbing, what had happened. Of course, he tried to comfort me, but not even he could make me feel any better about this.

The next morning I woke up to the sun shining brightly. I was moving…and this was the first time that I wanted to think about what new things New York had to offer me.

Our plane was scheduled to leave at one. So, we had to get all of our crappy suitcases and load them into the back of Billy's truck. Jacob helped me with my stuff and barely said a word except for sorry to me. I could barely even smile, but I managed to grin ever so slightly when he said that to me. Dad and Billy rode in the front of the car while Jake and I sat in the back. I stared out the window and watched as the green forest passed us. With my digital camera in hand I opened the window and snapped a few photos of the evergreens and everything else that we passed. No one said a word and I could sense that everyone, especially my dad, was concerned about me by the way they all kept glancing at me every couple minutes.

Once we reached the airport I couldn't wait to get out of the car with the way everyone was eyeballing me. It was extremely uncomfortable and I needed some air to breathe. Jacob was the second one to get out of the car and he went to the back of the truck to get Billy's wheelchair. Suddenly, I felt someone's hands on my shoulders and I jumped.

"You ok, sweetie?" my dad asked.

I took a breath, nodded, and then I smiled weakly, "I'm fine, just thinking…"

He kissed my cheek and soon started to unload our suitcases from the back of the truck. This was it…I was leaving. It's hard to believe it, but I'm kind of glad. I'm not going to miss La Push that much anymore because of…yesterday, but I will miss Jacob, a lot.

"Well that's everything," my dad said and I turned around.

I faced Jacob who had a small grin on his face. Despite how broken I was on the inside I smiled at him. He walked closer to me and looked down for a moment.

"This is it," he sighed.

I nodded, "I'll call you once I get there."

"Good," his grin grew into a smile and I took one more step closer before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace, "Take care of yourself, Sammy."

"I will," a tear trickled down my face, "Don't fall too hard for her Jake, trust me it sucks so much worse in the end," he knows who I'm talking about and really, I was getting sick of her name.

He chuckled without humor, "I'll try not to."

I kissed his cheek and pulled away. The hole in my heart was getting even bigger now that I was letting go of him. He put his hand on the side of my face and wiped away the tears that I shed.

"I'll beat him up for you," he said, "I promise."

I wanted to say yes please do, but a part of me didn't want to see what would happen if the two of them went at it. Paul hurt me, more than I can put into words, but I didn't need Jake to fight him because of that.

"Its fine Jake," I tried to smile again, "I'll live," barely.

His eyes narrowed and he looked at me seriously, "Stay strong, ok?"

I flinched, the pain was getting worse because I was leaving Jake behind, "I'll do my best," I said, truthfully. And it was the truth; I would do my best to stay strong instead of letting myself feel like shit all the time. I held up my digital camera and looked at Jacob again, "Picture?"

He nodded and posed for the camera, one serious photo and one funny picture. I actually chuckled at the pose he made for the funny one.

After that I said a quick goodbye to Billy and snapped one shot of him before I picked up my suitcase. I glanced over my shoulder, "Bye Jake," I barely grinned.

He half smiled, "See ya Sammy."

And then I turned around again and walked with my dad to get our bags checked. One thing that stayed in my mind was the fact that Jake said see ya instead of goodbye. Which made me hope that maybe someday; we would see each other again. I turned around for a moment and looked out of the window watching as their truck drove away, the waterworks finding a way to escape from my eyes all over again...

**:, [**

**sad times...i hope you guys liked this chapter. It's really emotional and god i almost cried during the Paul part when i was reading it over(i'm a whimp XP)**

**umm...i'm thinking that the next chapter will be in Paul's POV. Would you guys like to see what he thinks? I'm guessing that's a yes haha**

**i will be either starting it from where he talked to her or from where that scene left off because i'm pretty sure you guys were like what? did he imprint?**

**TAKE A GUESS IN YOUR REVIEW! AND TELL ME WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! LOL! **

**PEACE OUT!**

**~KK (my name is really Kaitlyn if you must know =P)  
**


	11. 10 Pain

**soo i personally love this chapter because i love Paul's insight into things.**

**i'm writing a short Author's note because it's well umm...12:30 a.m. lol and i kinda stayed up just to finish this haha**

**i hope you guys enjoy Paul's POV...and let me know what you think of it  
**

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_On this bed I lay  
Losing everything  
I can see my life passing me by  
Was it all too much  
Or just not enough  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

_I will not die  
I will survive_

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

_**Time of Dying, Three Days Grace**_

_**

* * *

  
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Chapter 10

Pain

Right now, I hate being me. Finding out that I was a werewolf sucked. But finding out that I would have to break the heart of the one person I love most sucked so much worse. Yeah, I tried to convince Sam that Sammy wouldn't tell a soul about werewolves, but he still told me I had to do it. There is one way that I can avoid this and that's if I imprint on her. So what the hell am I supposed to do? What if I don't imprint on her? I'm just supposed to hurt her and act like I don't even care anymore? It's seriously nuts…but Jared and Sam seem to think it'll be easy because well, Sam did it to Leah and Jared already told Sammy he couldn't be friends with her anymore. They're both acting like everything is normal, like nothing's wrong. But I know better…

"I can't just hurt her Sam," I shook my head, "You're crazy if you think that I can just live with knowing that I broke her heart."

"It's the only way to keep her safe Paul," he looked at me with not even a hint of sadness or anything, it was sickening, "If you don't imprint on her then you have to do it."

I pounded my fist on the table and started to shake angrily, "There must be some other way-,"

"Dude, there is no other way," Jared has changed, a lot. Not only has he turned into a werewolf, but he's become more like Sam and he's basically friends with him now while I on the other hand still hate the guy.

I looked away from both of them and just shook my head furiously. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to phase soon, I really don't care if I do either. But I'm not too good at phasing back and I really don't feel like being stuck as a wolf all day. I took a couple of deep breaths and attempted to calm down.

"She's leaving…tomorrow," I couldn't fathom that fact right now. It was just like how I couldn't fathom the fact that I'm a freaking werewolf.

"So you have to do it today," Sam shrugged his shoulders casually.

I scoffed at him, "You really don't have a heart do you Sam?"

He rolled his eyes, "I had to do it and believe me it still hurts to this day," oh wow was that really supposed to cheer me up?

My body shook in fury and I clenched my hands into fists, "So how do you expect me to do it to her? I love her more than anything and we've known each other since we were kids. I can't just do this to her now, I can't leave her."

"But she's going to New York, it's not like you'll be seeing her any time soon," Jared out of all people said that. I couldn't believe how much he's changed. It's like he's forgotten who Sammy is. I couldn't believe it when he told me that he talked to Sammy and told her that he couldn't be her friend anymore. I wish I could've been there to kick Jared's ass...

"I'm pretty sure you're going to imprint on her though," Jared sat back in his chair.

I breathed slowly and thought about her for a moment. What if I didn't imprint on her? I still loved her and everyone expects me to just break her heart and let her go. Sure, Sam did it to Leah, but I don't understand how. If he really loved her then he would've tried to stay with her…I don't want to be Sam. I have to imprint on her.

"I hate this," I muttered to myself.

"Believe me I hated doing it to her too," it was the first time I ever heard Jared sound like he really meant it. He usually didn't talk about her at all. Which is why I thought that he turned into an ass, "Actually I miss her," my eyes widened in surprise at his words, "I don't know…it's just different now."

"Wow you're a genius. Maybe it's because hmm I don't know we're werewolves?" I smacked the back of his head and started to laugh. Jared could be a real idiot sometimes.

"That could be it," he chuckled and I completely forgot that Sam was still sitting there with us until he sighed.

"She's here," he said lowly.

_Oh shit_, I thought.

"How do you know?" I looked over my shoulder and stared at the door. I could smell a sweet aroma consuming of some sort of fruity scent and…rain.

"Her scent," Jared pointed out, "I recognize it too, from when I bumped into her in Port Angeles."

_Shit, she's going to knock and I'm going to have to hurt her, _I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I can't do this to her," I thought about how much I wanted to kiss her instead of break her heart. I wanted to tell her that I would call her instead of tell her that I never wanted to see her again. The only thing that could prevent me from doing that is imprinting. I could only think about what I would do if I didn't imprint on her though. The image of her crying was scarred into my brain.

And then, I heard four knocks on the door and I sighed.

"You have to," Sam insisted.

I glared at him for a moment. He seemed completely at ease. Like there was nothing bad about to happen.

"You'll imprint," Jared nodded, "I'm sure you will."

And on that note I composed myself to answer the door. Sam stared at me while Jared kept nodding in reassurance. I took a deep breath before I headed for the door. When I reached it I let my hand rest on the knob before I was able to build up enough courage to actually open it.

I could honestly say that I was afraid. I was afraid that she wouldn't be my soul mate and that fear made me stare at the ground instead of actually looking at her. But, out of the corner of my eye I could see that she was soaking wet and I just wanted to wrap my arms around her to keep her warm…but I couldn't. I looked over my shoulder and looked at Sam for a moment. I was kind of hoping that he would say something like, oh false alarm you don't have to hurt her, but no he just nodded. I glared at him again before I closed the door behind me.

I had to come up with something to say, anything. So, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Why are you here Sammy?" I said it in an angry tone. I would've rather have said I love you or something, but no I had to be an ass…I had to be Sam. He thought this would keep her out of harms way…well if she was in harms way then I would protect. I'd rather sacrifice myself instead of break her heart.

Yeah, it hurt pretty badly. I could tell that this was not going to be easy. I hate Sam…

"I came to say…goodbye Paul," she sounded like she was cold, really cold, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

My heart stung when she said that she was leaving tomorrow. Even though I knew that already it was still hard to hear her actually say the words out loud. I started shaking and I formed my hands into fists to try to keep myself from phasing now.

Ugh, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, "Good," I'm an ass now…

"W-What?" she stuttered. Well since she didn't hear what I said how about I say I love you instead of good.

This is stupid. I should just look at her. I need to look at her as much as I don't want to face the truth I have to.

I took a deep breath and slightly raised my head to look at her and when I did I stared at her face hard, searching for something, but…there was nothing. I looked at her harder and tried to imprint, but I didn't…I didn't imprint on her.

No, this isn't how things are supposed to be. I don't want to do this to her, I don't. I can't hurt her. I shook my head in frustration, why does this have to happen to me?

"I said good," my voice grew louder because I was getting frustrated with myself, but she'll think that I'm annoyed by her when in fact I still love her, "…I don't want to see you again. So it's good that you're leaving," I shut my eyes tight. I want to see her every day actually…and it sucks that she's leaving. I'm so tempted to say that right now.

I could tell that she was hurt. I knew it because I did it to her. And now I guess I'm an official part of the Quileute pack because apparently you're not a part of the pack until you completely shatter someone into a million pieces you know. First Sam, then Jared, and now I'm doing it. Yeah being a werewolf is awesome…

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her close hers, she always did this when she didn't want to cry in front of someone. But I couldn't comfort her, "I thought you wanted to try. You said that you would-,"

"I didn't mean it," I clenched my jaw so that I wouldn't say what I really wanted to say, "I didn't mean…any of it," I started to shake even more and I took a couple of breaths to calm down. I wanted to kill Sam for telling me that I had to do this to her.

She wiped her cheek, probably wiping a tear away, and then she quickly set her hand by her side again, "I don't understand, I thought everything was fine between us."

I know everything's fine so why do I have to hurt you? I hesitated to say the next part, "I don't love you, not-,"

"Please," she interrupted me, "Don't."

I stared at the ground and felt my heart completely drop. She sounded so hurt at that moment that I just wanted to say screw it and tell her that I was lying. But no, I had to be a jerk, "It's the truth," I said.

She didn't say anything for a while. I tried to stop myself from opening my mouth and saying what I really felt like saying. It was hard to just stand here and act like I didn't care anymore because what I was feeling was the exact opposite. It hurt to know that I didn't imprint on her because I really really wanted to. She's the only one that has touched my heart enough to completely own it and now I had to make it seem like she meant nothing to me. It just sucks…

She picked her head up and looked at me, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and I'll be gone, out of your life…forever."

I hesitated to do it because I knew that I would have to lie again and say that I didn't love her. My breath hitched because I knew this was it, she would be gone…and it's all because I'm a werewolf.

I slowly raised my head again and looked into her eyes…no I looked into her soul, into everything. She was everything, absolutely everything to me. She was my life, my love, my other half. She held my world into place now-, wait, I just…imprinted…holy shit….

How the hell-, no I looked at her before and didn't feel this way. No it can't be this way…I just hurt her…and then I imprinted on her…I wasn't supposed to hurt her if I imprinted on her. Oh god, no. I messed it up. What the freaking hell?! I'm an idiot!

I composed myself so I could say something, so I could tell her I did love her, "I-,"

She interrupted me by nodding and smiling in a fake way, "I know," she said, "You don't have to repeat it. It hurts enough already."

Please, God just let her hear me out, "Sammy-,"

"No, its fine," she started to walk down the steps, "You don't want me, I get it. So, lucky for you I'm leaving….I'll forget about you like you want me to. It'll be hard, but I can do it…"

No, I want you more than anything. I love you. I wanted to tell her I loved her, but for some reason the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. It was like someone was deliberately clasping my throat shut and pointing and laughing at me saying ha ha.

She stepped out into the rain and I was about the follow her when she turned around, "Goodbye Paul," her eyes started to water and then two seconds later she was gone, walking away from me for the last time. I imprinted on her, but it wasn't enough for her to stay. She didn't know because I completely broke her. Why I decided to just stare at her face the first time I looked at her and think that that would be enough to imprint I don't know. It's not like there's some manual on how to imprint on someone. I messed up, I'm an idiot because now I have to live without my soul mate forever. I have to try and live on without the one person who understands me the most.

I stood there for a minute just thinking about what just happened and thinking about how not only did I feel like shit, but I felt like my world was no longer in place. I felt empty because she was now gone.

Someone opened the door behind me, but I just stood there in shock and also because I didn't know what I was going to do.

"So?" Jared stood next to me and waited for my response.

"I imprinted," I mumbled.

"I knew it," he smacked my back, "Congrats man."

"I imprinted on her after I told her I didn't love her," I shook my head at how much I hated myself right now.

"Ok, never mind the congratulations then," He leaned against the wall, "How the hell did that happen?" he asked.

I sighed, "I was an idiot. I just looked at her face and thought that that was supposed to be it, that I was supposed to feel something then. So it made me think that I didn't imprint on her which is why I continued on and told her I didn't love her. But then she told me to look her in the eye," I closed my eyes, "And I did and then suddenly she was what was holding me to this earth. She was everything to me because I looked at her and this time I saw into her soul. I felt like I saw her for who she was instead of just seeing her face. I wasn't actually looking at her the first time I was just…I don't know looking."

He raised his eyebrows at me, "That kind of…doesn't make any sense at all," he chuckled.

I stared out into the rain, "But it does. It will once it happens to you."

"Hopefully," he sighed and I just kept thinking about how much I hurt her. I love her more than anything and now I have to live without her. I have to live with the fact that I broke her heart even though we're supposed to be soul mates.

I slammed my fist down onto the railing and it made the whole porch shake. I started to tremble uncontrollably and I knew that I would phase if I didn't calm myself. And yet, I didn't want to calm myself down.

"This never would've happened if Sam didn't force me to break up with her," I gritted my teeth.

"Come on, this isn't Sam's fault man-,"

"Shut the fuck up Jared! You're only taking his side because he's brainwashed you into believing that he's the only one that's right!"

"Brainwashed?! Really?!" He growled, "I sure as hell am not brainwashed! And yeah, Sam is right in this situation!"

I shook even more, "How is he right? He told both you and me to hurt someone that we care about. Yeah, that sounds completely ok to me!"

I could tell that Jared was shaking just as much as I was and soon enough Sam came outside and stepped in between the two of us.

"Shut up! Both of you!" he yelled. I rolled my eyes at him, he can't control me.

I glared at Sam, "I'm not listening to you Sam. I'm never going to listen to you."

He snarled, "You will if you know what's good for you."

I took a step towards him, "Listening to you only leads to shit like this."

"I told you to break up with her if you didn't imprint on her. And you did, so it's your mistake not mine."

I chuckled, "Yeah well I'm not the only one who's made mistakes before. I mean at least I didn't maul Sammy half to death."

He flinched and soon started to shake. I knew that that was something I shouldn't have said, but I was just pissed at him because this was his idea so whatever came to mind came out of my mouth as well.

"That was really low Paul," Jared said.

I snarled, ignoring his comment, "You're not my Alpha, so I refuse to follow you."

"You will," he stated, "When Jacob Black phases you'll follow him, but until then you're under my rule."

I scoffed, I never knew we were in the military, "Whatever," and then I ran down the stairs and into the backyard so I could finally phase. When I let myself explode into the giant grey wolf I immediately started to run and I let my feet lead me to wherever they wanted to go. When I'm a wolf and when I'm alone as a wolf I feel completely at ease and free and I feel like I can just let the time pass me by and think. So right now, before the other two phase, I want to think.

I picked up my speed a little bit and just ran in circles as I thought about everything, letting flashbacks from today roll through my mind. It didn't take me long to imprint and hell it didn't take me long to lose my imprint. It sucks to know that I can no longer see her; I can no longer be her best friend or her boyfriend, whatever she wants me to be. I mean looking on how long we've known each other for and how much time we've spent together just makes me feel that much worse about what happened today. I feel like nothing, like there's no more to live for…because really there isn't…

Before I knew it, I felt someone else phase and thankfully it was Jared. His mind was completely at ease and just filled with nothingness. I wish my head was filled with nothing, but good thoughts.

"_God, you're depressing," _he thought.

"_Did you phase just so you could tell me that Jared?"_

I could tell that he was looking into my mind to find out where I was heading and the place I was set on going to made him sigh, _"What are you doing?"_

"_I need to see her one more time," _I let an image of her right before she left go through my head so he could see it and when he did I heard him whimper.

"_She looks terrible," _he pointed out.

"_I know,"_ I sighed. Every time I picture her in my head I see her where she's about to cry and knowing that I'm the one who made her feel that way makes me feel even shittier than I already feel.

"_It was a mistake; don't be so hard on yourself Paul."_

My paced slowed down when I got closer to her house. I could smell her scent lingering around the property and when I could finally see the house I stopped. Jared wasn't too much farther behind me.

"_It was a huge mistake. And it led to me hurting the one person I love most in this world."_

Once I heard him getting closer I climbed one of the trees that were close, but not close enough that she could see me, to her room. I looked inside and immediately started whimpering at what I saw. There she was lying on the ground, crying because of me. I wanted to go in there and tell her everything would be ok. I wanted to be her shoulder to cry on, but how could I when I was the one who caused her to be in so much pain?

"_Fate will bring her to you again Paul," _a new voice, Sam's voice, said. I wasn't paying attention enough to care that he phased. I was too busy calling myself an ass.

I shook my head, _"I can't do this. I need to apologize to her."_

"_How are you going to apologize when you're a wolf Paul?" _Jared cringed at the sound of Sammy crying while I just sat in the tree, frozen. I couldn't look away from her, she just looked so helpless.

"_I'll phase back," _I came down from the tree and stood by Jared.

"_You don't know how to phase back that well yet Paul," _Sam's thoughts told me and Jared's let me see a mental image of me trying to phase back the last time I phased into a wolf. It was difficult, but I eventually managed to do it. Phasing into a wolf was a lot easier than phasing back into a human.

I growled, _"I don't care, I need to tell her the truth! I can't live without her."_

"_Paul-,"_

"_No. Don't you dare try to stop me Sam," _I focused on me being human. I tried to phase back, doing everything and anything I could and trying to do what Sam told me to do when I wanted to phase back.

"_Paul, stop," _Jared begged.

I thought about Sammy and only Sammy and I let everything about her consume my every thought. She's the only one I care about. I need to tell her that I love her.

"_Even if you do phase back who says she'll believe you?" _Sam asked, _"She'll be confused Paul."_

I let out a low howl, _"But I don't want her to feel this way."_

I hated having to see her like this and having to see her cry. She shouldn't have to feel like this. I could slightly hear her crying in her bedroom and I was so tempted to just burst through her door and comfort her.

"_She'll be ok Paul," _Sam reassured me, letting an image of Leah slip into his mind, but it soon faded away. I figured that I wouldn't make a comment on that, _"You just have to believe that. You two are meant to be together, so some way you will see her again and she'll be ok."_

For the first time ever I took Sam's words into consideration. For once I hoped that he was right because I did want to see her again. She means everything to me and I just want her to be happy…I want her to no longer feel pain and I want to be the one who takes the pain, that I caused her, away.

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! and i'll love you forever =]**

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	12. 11 Past, Present, and Future

**so i like the way that this chapter turned out. It's actually better than i expected. Hopefully everyone likes it and also thank you all for voting! it really really helped!**

**ummm...yeahhh read it!**

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_Softly we tremble tonight,  
Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight.  
I said I'd never leave you'll never change  
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life._

_Am I supposed to be happy?  
When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.  
Am I supposed to be happy?  
When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price._

_**Cat and Mouse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**_

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Chapter 11

Past, Present, and Future

**3 years later…**

I finished up my shift at the Red Flame Coffee Shop and quickly headed home in my car, trying to beat the New York traffic jam that usually occurred after my late shifts. I hate Wednesdays for that reason, traffic jams. Being extremely impatient doesn't help me at times like this. I slammed my head against my steering wheel while I sat there unmoving. This would take at least an hour. Well the only thing I can do now is look at the bright side; at least I'm off for the next couple of days and school's finally over with. College is so much easier than high school I think. Throughout my whole two years at LaGuardia High School I had to go through studying about art's history and who sculpted the first sculpture, stuff like that which is extremely boring. I mean it does help when you want to have a career in the field of art, but now that I'm in college I can do whatever I want. So, basically now I'm painting up a storm. Every day I come into class and paint away. I've gotten a lot better ever since I started school at the Art Institute of New York City. My drawing skills have helped me in so many ways so now I can paint. My dad calls me the next Picasso. Yeah, I highly doubt that I'll be as great as Picasso…

I honked my horn at the person who basically just cut me off, "Bitch!" I screamed at the blonde woman.

She flicked me off and then she went on her way. New York is a tough city and I feel like I've grown some tough skin ever since I moved here and ever since…well…the whole incident with a guy I no longer speak of. When I first moved here I felt like nothing, but then I started school and I met new people like my boyfriend of two years, Sean, and my best friend, Alana.

I put my Bluetooth in my ear and went into my contacts list, going over a bunch of names and stopping at one in particular…Jacob. We haven't talked in a while. Why I keep his number in my phone, I have no idea, but whenever I do go into my contacts list to call someone I stop at his name and think about the last conversation I had with him…

_(Start of Flashback)_

"_Hello?" his voice sounded deeper and really different._

"_Hey Jake," I said, calmly. I keep telling myself not to lose contact with him. But it's been difficult because he told me he would call me and he hasn't. I think it's been about three weeks since I talked to him last. _

_He sighed, "Sammy?" _

_I rolled my eyes, "Do you have caller ID Jake?"_

_I heard him chuckle, well that's one person who hasn't changed, "Yeah, but you sound different."_

"_I could say the same to you," I smiled and took a deep breath. I was afraid that he was going to hate me like the rest of them._

"_How's school been?" he asked._

"_It's been good, really good actually. I met this guy, Sean," I daydreamed about Sean for a moment before I heard Jacob growl on the other line._

"_You met someone?" ok, that was unexpected…_

"_Am I sensing a little jealously here Jacob Black?" I teased._

_He took a deep breath, "No, I'm not jealous…" he muttered something to himself that I couldn't quite understand, "What happened with this Sean guy?" he sounded a little angry. _

"_He kind of…asked me out. Like on a date. I mean I don't know if I should, but maybe it's a good idea since I've been trying to get over you know who."_

_I waited for his response and he hesitated to respond, "Don't you think it's a little…soon?"_

_I furrowed my eyebrows. Why the hell is he acting like my father? "No, the sooner the better. He told me to forget about him," I flinched at the memories, "So, that's what I'm doing."_

_Another growl came from the other line and I started to get confused with the way he was acting. It was like he didn't want me to get over…you know who. And before this he used to tell me that I should meet some guys. Hypocrite much?_

"_Fine," he said, "I can't stop you. Just…be careful Sammy."_

_I got even more confused, "Ok," I agreed even though I didn't know what he meant._

"_Look, I got to go," he sighed, "Bye Sammy."_

"_Um…bye," and then he hung up on me and I sat there in silence._

_(End of Flashback)_

I quickly went to Sean's number and called him, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't think about Jake anymore. But God, I miss him…

"Hey baby," Sean's voice brought me back to reality and I inched forward a little, "How was work?"

I groaned, "Tiring. I'm trying to keep myself awake right now. I don't know how I'll make it through this traffic jam without falling asleep."

"Maybe we shouldn't go to the party tonight."

"Are you kidding? It's Alana's birthday and it's a surprise party, I can't miss this. Besides, I got her a gift and everything," I immediately protested.

"Ok, ok," he chuckled, "Forget I even said that."

I smiled, "What time are you coming to my house?"

"Seven," he said.

I looked at the clock on my radio, **4:41**, "I should be home by then. My dad's going out with his buddies tonight so it shouldn't be a problem," I yawned, feeling exhausted.

"I'll give you a massage when I get there. You sound like you need it."

My smile grew wider, "I love you," I said.

"Love you too," he replied.

Finally the street opened up a little more and I continued on down the road towards my house.

"Samantha?" I heard him shout on the other line and my eyes immediately widened.

"Huh?" I really don't know how I'll make it through this party…

"Did you hear anything I just told you?" he laughed.

"Umm…maybe…could you say it one more time?"

"I'll tell you when you get home just focus on driving right now."

I sighed, "Ok, fine."

"Bye, stay awake," he said.

I grinned, "I will," and then I hung up and kept my eyes on the road in front of me.

I managed to make it back to my house by five thirty which left me enough time to get ready before Sean came over. I wore one of my best dresses that was a deep blue color with sparkles all over. I went into my drawer and took out a pair of my earrings that matched my dress

I finished getting ready and suddenly I heard a knock on the front door.

"It's open!" I shouted while I stared myself down in the mirror. Soon enough I saw Sean's tall figure behind me. His light brown hair hung over one of his blue eyes and his smile made me smile.

"You look beautiful," he commented.

I blushed, "Thanks," I turned towards him and pecked him on the lips once, "I just have to get the present and then we can go."

He nodded his head and followed me as I walked towards my bed and searched through my stuff, looking for the small gift. I wasn't the neatest person around so I usually just threw stuff under my bed and ever since I came back home for the summer I didn't really organize things correctly. I bent down onto my knees and took a bunch of stuff out from under my bed until I finally found what I was looking for.

"What's this?" I heard Sean ask.

I turned around and saw my old sketchbook in his hand, watching as he flipped through the pages, "It's nothing."

He looked at me with a weird expression on my face before he looked back at the book and turned it around so I could see it. Of course, it had to be the one page I didn't want to see. I stared at it and felt my heart sting a little when I saw his smile and his eyes.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me," he stared at me and waited for me to say something, but I couldn't do anything right now, "Who is this?" he asked.

Sean has never acted jealous before and I think this is the first time that I knew he was, "It's no one…he's no one," I grabbed the book out of his hand and threw it back under my bed, "Let's just go," I grabbed his wrist and tugged him towards the door and thankfully he didn't try to stop me…

The party seemed endless to me, but when I tried to get Sean to take me home he would tell me that we just got there. Don't get me wrong it was fun and all, but I was exhausted and I just wanted to go home so I could sleep. Sean didn't seem to want to do that though, so I stayed and talked to Alana and the rest of my friends.

It was around midnight when we finally left and I was about ready to go to sleep when we were in the car, but there was one thing that prevented me from dozing off and that was the drawing Sean found. Out of all the things I had under my bed he had to see that one thing, the one thing that brought back too many painful memories. I couldn't shake the images of him out of my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about…Paul. Even thinking his name hurt. This whole time I thought I was over him and I thought that I was done with the pain, but it seems that I was wrong because I started to feel the hole all over again. I put my hand over my heart and closed my eyes.

"You ok?" Sean asked.

I nodded my head and kept my eyes closed, trying to make the pain go away.

"Well" he started to say, "I've got some news."

I opened my eyes and realized that the car was stopped in front of my house, "What is it?" I completely forgot that he wanted to tell me something.

By the smile he was wearing I knew that it had to be good news, "Over the past couple of weeks I've been sending pictures of your paintings and trying to call all these art galleries to get one of your pieces displayed…" he trailed off and I waited for him to continue but he didn't.

"And?" I sat up and turned towards him, the anticipation was unbearable at this point.

"And…" he paused, "There's this one gallery called Landings Art Gallery that told me they would love to meet you so they could decide whether or not you're worthy of having your piece in the gallery."

I screamed at the top of my lungs and unbuckled my seatbelt, wrapping my arms around him as tight as I could, "Are you serious?" I tried to contain my excitement.

"As serious as I could be," he kissed my cheek.

"Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I kissed him multiple times to let him know how much I really appreciated what he did for me.

He laughed at my reaction, "You're welcome."

I pulled away from him for a moment and couldn't erase the smile that was plastered on my face. The pain I was feeling a couple of minutes ago had completely faded and now it was replaced by excitement. I was getting the opportunity of a lifetime, "When do they want to meet me?" I asked.

"They told me they can see you in two weeks leaving us enough time to get there and settled in a place."

I took in what he was saying for a moment and put on a serious face now, "Wait…settled in a place-,"

He interrupted me by kissing me on the lips, "Don't worry, I already found a place we can both afford and I'm going to find a good job so we can pay the rent."

I was surprised that he had planned this out already and was able to keep this to himself for however long he's known about it. I nodded my head and before I could say anymore he got out of the car and opened my door for me with the biggest grin on his face. As we walked up to my door I thought about what this all meant. This is something that every artist dreams about and to think that I, a nineteen year old college student, might actually have one of my pieces displayed in an art gallery is just so surreal. But wait…

"Where is this place?" I asked just as we walked up the last step.

"Port Angeles, Washington," he kissed me on the lips once and then he smiled, "Call me and let me know if you're up for it."

I stood there, dazed and confused, "But…the houses in Port Angeles are extremely expensive. We could never afford that."

"I know, which is why I looked at houses in this Native American reservation close to it," he chuckled, "Night babe."

And then I was left there alone to deal with the crazy thoughts that were running through my head. Of course, out of all the places where there was an art gallery that one place had to be the one that wanted my piece. Sean didn't know any better because well…I never told him about my past. I figured it would be easier for us to have a relationship if I didn't tell him about that place. And right now, I feel like kicking myself for not telling him. Now I have to deal with the fact that I could possibly be moving back to the one place that holds all of those painful things I thought I had gotten rid of.

**yeah so that's the way i decided to go...tell me what you think ;]**


	13. 12 Decisions Decisions

**soo let me know what you think of this chapter. It's short i know but the next chapter will hopefully be longer =P**

**i hope you all like where this is going!  
**

_

* * *

I can't believe the troubles that you've caused.  
The pain is getting stronger, like  
An open wound without the gauze.  
It's on my brain, driving me insane.  
It's on my mind all of the time and if it  
Left I would be fine.  
All because I'm...leaving you behind_

_I feel the pressure it's coming down on  
Me.  
It's turning me black and blue. Ooh whoa,  
You left me on the side of the road, and now  
I've got no place to go.  
You brought the flood_

_**The Flood, Escape the Fate**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Chapter 12

Decisions Decisions

I never thought about how much things have changed until now. As I'm sitting here, I wonder which person I like better Samantha, the New Yorker who's dead set on her career and will do anything to become a famous artist or Sammy, the girl who loved to have fun and just let things fall into place instead of worrying about them. I rolled onto my side and bit my lip while I thought. I feel like I've officially lost Sammy…and that scares me because I don't want to. For some reason I don't want to forget the past or forget him. But he did hurt me more than anyone will ever know.

I glanced at the clock and realized that I had been thinking for a while, I didn't even change out of my dress because Sean had left me with a lot to think about. First of all we would be moving in together in our own house and secondly, that house is in La Push, the place that holds so much of who I used to be and who I left behind. Do I really want to go back to all of that?

I gnawed on my lip and contemplated the answer to that question. Did I want to go back to that place I used to love so much? Things have changed, no doubt, but does that mean that I can't deal with the changes?

Before I could process another thought I heard the door open and close and I closed my eyes to make it look like I was sleeping because I really didn't feel like talking right now. Soon enough, my door opened and my father came in and kissed me on the cheek, probably thinking that I was already sleeping. I tuned him out and thought some more.

It's weird how right now I can only think of the good times I had with Paul instead of the bad ones. Maybe it's because I'm afraid. Afraid of the fact that every time I do think of the last time I saw him, I feel that heart wrenching pain and it never seems to go away after I do. It just doesn't make any sense to me how he could change so much in a matter of two weeks. I knew him since we were kids and it's just mind bottling to me that he chooses to hurt me so badly when we've been through so much together. It's just not like him…

I kept my eyes closed after my dad left the room and tried not to cry while I thought about the words he spoke to me in such a harsh tone and I could literally hear him saying them to me.

"_I don't want to see you again. So it's good that you're leaving."_

It's weird how much I didn't recognize him at that point and thinking back on how different he was acting, I knew that he was no longer my friend and I knew that things would never and could never be the same.

I could see his face in my head, completely expressionless like a statue. He showed no emotion or even the slightest bit of hurt. But then I remembered when he looked me in the eye and had this dumbfound look plastered on his face. It was almost like he…still loved me, but in a sense where the love he was feeling was stronger than anything he's ever felt before. I know it's stupid for me to think that way and I know that I'm just telling myself this to try and make me feel better, but I just feel like maybe he made a mistake and knew he was wrong at that moment.

I shook my head and immediately moved that positive thought to the back of my mind, finally drifting asleep…

-

_He was there, just standing there with his back turned towards me. I hesitated to walk towards him because he hasn't popped up into one of my dreams ever since I moved here so why should he be in one now? _

_I stared at him and suddenly felt better about everything. I felt like nothing had changed even though they have so much. _

_Next thing I knew, he turned around and when I looked at him he looked so broken that the only thing I wanted to do was comfort him. But despite the way he looked and what I wanted to do, I didn't show him any sympathy because if anyone should look broken right now it's me._

"_I know," he said as if he were answering my thoughts and I looked up only to find him standing right in front of me, "And I'm sorry…for everything."_

_I shook my head, "Sorry doesn't take back what you did, and you can never take back what you said to me."_

_I wanted to punch him, I wanted to hug him, and I wanted to cry…I didn't know which one I wanted to do more though…_

"_I never meant to hurt you like I did," he looked me in the eye and it almost looked like he was telling me the truth…but he couldn't be._

"_Liar," I spat at him, "If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have done it."_

_He shut his eyes for a moment and actually seemed like he was hurt by what I said. At this point, he deserved to be hurt just as much as I was. _

"_I love you," he said, softly. _

_I tried to ignore what he was saying to me because I knew that it couldn't be true. It was like he wanted to torture me all over again, like he was stabbing at my heart and just waiting for it to start throbbing in pain. _

"_Don't say that to me," my lips quivered as I spoke, "You don't-,"_

"_Come back to me Sammy," he stared at me and ignored what I was saying to him, "I still love you."_

_And then he extended his hand towards me and placed it on my cheek. It felt like he had a fever, but I ignored it and felt tears starting to stream down my cheeks. How dare he do this to me again._

"_Stop lying to me!" I screamed at him and slapped his hand away, "You don't love me! You don't!" I sobbed._

_He stood there, motionless and it seemed like he was trying to come up with something to say, "I can't live without you."_

"Stop it!" I shouted as I woke up from the dream. My chest was heaving and my eyes were filled with tears. I tried to pull myself together as I told myself that it was just a dream, a really really horrible dream. He was lying to me; I could only think that he was lying to me. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore and I waited for the sun to rise because I didn't feel like having that dream again.

Why does he torture me even in my dreams? It's like he loves to watch me cry or something. I watched my clock as each minute passed and I waited for it to read ten o'clock so I could call Sean. I quickly decided that I wanted to tell him about La Push and I wanted to let him know why I'm so hesitant to go back there. He had to know…it's the only way that I can be with him.

So, I waited until the sun finally rose and the birds finally started chirping. It took me a lot of effort to get up from where I was sitting though. I was just too into my thoughts to get out of bed and get ready. I was wondering why I had a dream like that and why I had to dream of him out of all people. I scoffed at the thought of him and finally got ready for the day ahead.

After I finished and got some breakfast I decided to call him, knowing that he would be up now since it's past ten. I quickly dialed his number so that I wouldn't chicken out and waited for him to answer, biting my lip nervously while I paced back and forth in my room.

"Hey-,"

"I need to tell you something," I immediately said, "Just listen ok?"

"Uh, sure…" I could tell that he was confused, but I expected him to be.

Before I started I took a deep breath and then I let it all out, telling him how I met Paul and how our friendship grew into something more, but leaving out all of the mushy details because he didn't need to hear them and I didn't want to hear them either. It was hard to tell him about the difficult things, like my mother's death and being hurt by Paul, but he listened and just let me say what I needed to say. I was glad that he was so understanding of everything and now I think that he even understood why I would be hesitant to moving back there.

"Well it's your decision," he sighed, "I'll back you up in whatever decision you make."

I threw myself onto my bed and slightly paused before I spoke, "I don't know. Part of me wants to go back there because I miss it and because this is probably the only opportunity I'll get, but the other part tells me to stay here because I know that there is a possibility of me seeing him again," I moaned, "This is so hard."

"I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to take risks and in this situation if you want to accept this opportunity, then you're going to have to take that risk of seeing him again."

I took in what he was saying and he's right. If I want to succeed and become an artist than I'm going to have to take that risk. Even if I do see him, I'll have Sean there with me. There were slightly more pros than cons to going back. And one major pro would be that I would see Jacob again, I'd be able to feel support from both Sean and hopefully Jacob if I did move back. Another thing that would be good is that I would be in the one place that made me who I am today.

So despite Paul and despite anyone else who has ever hurt me, I want to go. I really want to accept this opportunity because I know it might be the only one I get.

"Let's do it," I breathed.

"You really want to?" he asked just to be sure.

I paused for a moment, "Yes, I do."

I knew that he was smiling on the other line, "Good," he responded, "If you want, I'll come over and we can look at the house and everything."

"Umm," I glanced at my door, "Don't you think I should tell my dad first? I mean-,"

"Already got it covered," he said in a confident tone.

"What?"

"I asked your dad if it was ok with him that we moved in together if you decided to go and he said yes," I smiled widely, "But there was one condition he told me about."

And then the smile faded as quickly as it appeared, "What now?"

He chuckled, "He said he'd like to visit us once and a while to make sure we weren't getting into trouble or anything like that."

I rolled my eyes and groaned, "He can be so embarrassing sometimes."

"Nah, he's just trying to protect you, I understand where he's coming from."

I raised one eyebrow, "Ok then…"

I heard him laugh, "What time should I come?"

"Like now," I grinned, "I'm pretty bored," and I want to stop thinking about that dream, "Please?" I pleaded.

"How can I resist that? I'll be over in a couple of minutes."

My grin soon turned into a smile, "Thanks."

"Love you," he blew me a kiss on the other line and then he hung up.

I shut my phone and sighed, "Love you too," I whispered.

I would hope that I made the right decision because, well, there was no turning back now. As much as I hated to admit that I was worried about what would happen, I really was. I mean I can't say that I wouldn't be happy if I did see him again because that would be a lie. Even if he did hurt me, I would immediately go back to the good things that have happened to the two of us…

Wait….no…I wouldn't….I couldn't….

I wouldn't be happy if I saw him, he hurt me…I shouldn't just smile and act like nothing happened…I can't. I shook the thought out of my head. What the hell is wrong with me? Why would I ever think that seeing him again would make me…happy? He broke my heart. I can't just let him think that I didn't care that he hurt me because he definitely did. I'm not going to be happy if I see him…scratch that stupid thought…I won't talk to him either…I can't, I refuse to let him into my life again. I mean I don't even care about him anymore…do I?

**tell me if you like where this is going or not! =D**


	14. 13 All Ours

Chapter 13

All Ours

I hate packing, because you find things that you never necessarily wanted to find. For instance, this photo album that's sitting in my lap right now. As I flip through each page and gaze at each photo from my childhood I try to hold back the tears. I shouldn't have opened it; I really shouldn't have even looked under my bed to see if anything was left under there. And for some strange reason, and even though I keep wanting to cry, I can't take my eyes off of each picture of me and Paul.

As I look back on my past, I think about how easy it all seemed back then. How I could get through every single day just because I had my best friend Paul to lean on. After he hurt me, I truly believed that I'd never be able to live again. And I couldn't imagine my life without Paul in it. But now that I've gone to school and have a boyfriend, I picture my life differently. I have friends and one best friend, but I don't think the relationship I have with any of them could ever compare to the one I had with Paul.

I smiled as I stared at a picture of me and Paul with big huge toothless grins on our faces. It seems ironic that the two of us both lost our two front teeth during the same week, but that was probably one of the best weeks we ever had. I could picture the day in my head when we were eight and when he came over to my house. The two of us were seated at my kitchen table after school and my father had given us some milk and cookies. As I look at the picture I remember when we deliberately forced my dad to give us straws in our milk so that we could fool around with the new holes in our mouths. So, when he gave them to us we stuck the straws in between the empty spaces where our teeth used to hang and thought that the fact that we could stick the straws in our gums was the coolest thing ever.

I looked at the picture that was next to it and ran my fingers over a picture of the two of us in our Halloween costumes. Again, a flood of memories came back to me. We were ten at the time and just as we were about to head out for our trick-or-treating rounds my mother, of course, needed to get a snap shot of us. I started complaining saying that I just wanted to get going before all of the good candy was taken, but Paul convinced me that taking a picture would be fun and we could look like real cowboys, well he could be a cowboy while I could be a cowgirl. So, we took out our plastic guns and posed for the camera. I chuckled at our outfits, beige vests, black hats, and red bandanas.

As I turn my attention to the next picture I feel a twinge of pain go through me. It was the same Halloween, only this was one of Paul, my mom, and me. My eyes were glued to my mother and I thought about how much none of us could expect what would happen to her a month later.

In order to keep the tears that were now swelling up in my eyes, I shut my eyelids and took a couple of deep breaths.

"You can do this," I whispered to myself over and over again until I could no longer feel the pricking of tears and until I finally believed the words I was speaking.

My eyes fluttered open and I continued gazing at the pictures until I reached the last ones of when I was leaving La Push. The forest, Billy, and finally two of Jacob. I smiled at them and the sadness I was feeling about two seconds ago was replaced by a feeling of hope. Hope that when I do move back I could be happy and not let the past creep up on me...

Suddenly, I heard two hard knocks on my door and I immediately shut the photo album and wiped away a single tear drop that managed to escape from my eye. It took me a couple of seconds before I came back into reality. I stood up and examined all of the boxes that were sitting on my floor until I met Sean's gaze.

"I was wondering if you needed some help with packing the rest of your stuff," thankfully, he didn't notice the fact that I was about ready to burst into tears.

"Um…" I paused, "No…it's ok," I glanced down at the album before looking back at Sean again, "I'm pretty much finished," my lips pulled up into a small, fake smile, "Thanks though."

He grinned and started to walk towards me, "So, are you getting excited?"

More like nervous, "Yeah," I chuckled, "Really excited actually," I'm such a liar…

When he reached me, he wrapped his arms around my waist and immediately crushed his lips onto mine. At first, I didn't try to pull away, but then I started to think thoughts I shouldn't be thinking, thoughts of Paul, Jared, Jacob, my mother and everything else about La Push. He outlined my lips with his tongue and demanded for entrance, but I turned my head to the side and pulled out of his arms.

"I'm sorry, I just can't right now," I shouldn't feel this way. I should be yearning to kiss him right now because I need his support. I need the support of someone I love. And that should be him, but why do I suddenly feel like…it's not?

"It's ok," he shrugged and quickly kissed me on the cheek, "Come downstairs when you're done."

I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest and with the click of the door I set my eyes on the photo album once again.

* * *

As we pulled up to the airport I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if I made the wrong decision to move back to La Push? What if something terrible happens?

The door to my dad's car suddenly opened I felt my mind go blank and a lump start to form in my throat.

"Ready?" Sean reached his hand out with a smile on his face and I just nodded without being able to say a single word.

Once I get out of the car and face the New York airport a whole new set of thoughts enter my mind, positive thoughts. I'm going to La Push, not to confront my past or anything like that, but to pursue my dream. I should be happy right now because this is something I've been dreaming about ever since I was a kid.

When all of our luggage was unloaded from the trunk I grabbed my suitcase and turned towards my father who's standing with his hands in his pockets and just staring at me with a grin on his face that says, "I'm proud of you."

I can't help but feel emotional right now because the reality of all of this is hitting me now. I wrapped my arms tightly around my dad and kissed him on the cheek.

"Love you Sammy," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled and pulled away from him, "Love you too dad," I replied.

Knowing that I won't be living with my father anymore is hard to believe because we've been through absolutely everything together. He and I are like two peas in a pod. We've been able to overcome obstacles that a lot of people don't have to deal with it. And even though there have been a lot of rough patches in our lives, we still manage to be, in our eyes, the closest family ever.

With one more quick glance over my shoulder at my father I wave to him and he waves back which to me, confirms the fact that things are about to change.

* * *

"Well, this is it," Sean said as he grabbed everything we brought out of the cab, "Cozy isn't it?"

I stared at the small blue house with white shutters hanging from the windows and a small porch that led up to the front door, "It's perfect," I grinned.

I felt his arms wrap around me, but I just kept my eyes on the house. It seemed unreal that this is our house and our house only. There are absolutely no parents around to tell us what to do and no one to bug us.

"Come on, let's check this place out," he grabbed my hand and with both of our bags slung over each of his shoulders he opened the door to our house.

I looked everywhere, my eyes big and wide when I was finally able to wrap my head around the fact that the kitchen, the living room, the staircase, the bathroom, and everything else was officially ours.

"Welcome home," he whispered in my ear and dropped the bags right in the middle of what's supposed to be our living room, "Let me give you the grand tour," he slid his arm through mine and started walking, "Here we have our magnificent kitchen," I rolled my eyes and laughed, "And to your right we have the grand staircase that leads up to the master bedroom," he started to wiggle his eyebrows up and down.

"Don't get any ideas," I narrowed my eyes, "I can already tell what's going through your head right now."

He reeled me towards him and picked me up, bridal style, heading up the stairs before I could react.

"Stop!" I shouted over a fit of laughter that came out of my mouth.

We soon came to a narrow hallway with three doors, two on the left and on the right. He immediately headed for the farthest door on the right and somehow managed to open the door where a queen sized mattress stood in the middle of the room.

He put me down onto the bed and with each of his hands and legs on either side of me he just stared at me.

"What?" I questioned, suddenly feeling insecure.

He shook his head and smiled, "I just love you that's all."

I put my arms around his neck and looked right into his blue eyes, "This is all ours," I beamed, "Ours and no one else's."

He brought his face closer to mine and kissed me on the lips. This time I didn't feel like stopping. I just kept my mind clear of any bad thoughts and just lived in the moment. In this beautiful moment that was ours and no one else's.

* * *

Today's the day. The one day that will let me know if moving back here was really, truly worth it. It didn't take us long to finally settle into our perfect home and Sean found a job at a repair shop in Port Angeles that would help us pay for the rent.

I walked out of the door and walked down the steps of our house with my car keys in my hand. I glanced up at the familiar gray clouds that hung in the sky and quickly got into my car. I'm definitely feeling nervous right now, which would probably explain the weird way my hands are shaking. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before checking that I had my portfolio filled with pictures of my artwork and headed for the gallery.

About half way there I started tapping my fingers on my steering wheel and every two seconds I glanced at the clock as it got closer and closer to two o'clock. I suddenly started to panic, feeling as if I'm going to somehow be late, but thankfully I got there with four minutes to spare.

I slammed the car door shut with my portfolio in hand and looked up at the sign that hung over the entrance reading, "Landings Art Gallery."

Before I opened the door I reminded myself that I needed to stay calm and with one quick nod of reassurance I headed inside. What I saw was exactly what I expected to see. White walls with a bunch of paintings hung up and each of them with their own plaques. And sculptures and other creative things taking up the rest of the space in the gallery.

"Can I help you?" a female voice asked.

I turned around and with a smile I asked, "Yes, I'm looking for Maggie," I checked the small piece of paper Sean gave me, "Walker?"

I looked up at the curly blonde haired, green eyed, girl and with a genuine grin she said, "Her office is straight to the back you can't really miss it."

I nodded, "Thanks."

"No problem," she replied.

Ok, so far everyone I've seen here is new…no familiar faces yet.

I walked straight to the back and felt completely stupid when I saw right there on the door in big letters MRS. MAGGIE WALKER, GALLERY MANAGER. Wow that blonde must think I'm dumb…

I deliberated whether or not I should knock or just walk in. I sighed and shook my head at myself, the best thing to do is knock…God I'm acting so paranoid right now.

I knocked twice on the door before I heard a voice say, "Come in."

I put on a smile and twisted the knob. When the door opened my eyes immediately set on an older woman with dark brown hair that's pulled up into a bun and glasses resting on her nose while she reads some sort of paperwork I'm guessing.

It took a couple of seconds before she finally acknowledged my presence in the room. By the warm way she looked at me with her brown eyes I immediately felt calm. She smiled and gestured to the chair set up across from her desk.

I sat down in the chair while I rested my portfolio on my legs.

"Samantha is it?" she asked.

I shook my head "yes" and kept a smile on my face.

"Yes, well I've heard a lot about you from Sean," she took the glasses off of her nose and held them in her hand, "He tells me you're very talented and from the pictures he's sent to me I can tell that you have a natural talent."

Yes, she likes me, "Thank you," I said simply.

She slightly narrowed her eyes, her gaze becoming harder, "So tell me, Samantha. What makes you different from the rest? Enlighten me," she folded her hands and rested them on her desk.

Ok, so maybe she doesn't like me as much as I thought, "Well, ever since I was young I have just loved to draw everything and anything that has meant something to me. For instance, in my old home and in my old room right out the window you could see the forest and one day I feel inspired to capture the natural beauty of the evergreens. You see, I like to put myself into the painting. I put my emotions, my feelings into my artwork."

She slightly raised one eyebrow at me and half smiled, "Let's see this portfolio of yours, shall we?"

I picked up the small binder that was sitting in my lap and handed it to her. As she opened it and looked through everything I wondered if she would be able to decipher what I'm feeling in the paintings. For instance, in one of the paintings I painted two hands cupped around a bright red heart with cracks in it and tear drops falling to the ground and black surrounding the hands. I never fully understood why I wanted to paint this particular thing, but I'm guessing that since I did it not too long after I moved to New York, it's explaining my heartbreak and the two hands represent Paul and how he completely owned my heart. The cracks and tears represent how I broken I felt while the black represents when Paul completely blind sighted me by breaking up with me.

When she closed the binder I lifted my head up and fely good by the smile she had on her face despite the mix of emotions thinking about that painting brought on.

"You truly are talented," she commented.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me," I smiled, erasing the image of the painting out of my head.

"Well I'm willing to display two of these pieces that you have created," she leaned forward.

My eyes went wide, "Really?" I questioned just to be sure.

She nodded and held up my portfolio, opening up to show me which one's she's chosen. The first is a painting of a grey wolf. I drew it because ever since I had a dream about it, I was unable to get the image of it out of my head. So, I let my fingers do the work and that's what it came out looking like. The second one is the painting of the heart with the hands cupped around it. And when I think about that one being on display, a mental image of Paul takes over my brain and when I saw Mrs. Walker stand I shook the image out of my head and stood up along with her. She held out her hand to me and I shook it.

"Congratulations Samantha," she said as she's smiling.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Walker, really I am so grateful for this," on the inside I was screaming, but hopefully I wasn't not letting my crazy side show on the outside.

"You're very welcome," she put her glasses back on her nose and sat back down.

I started to head for the door and just as I'm about to open it she stopped me by saying, "There's a show this weekend. Artists are usually expected to show up," I turned in her direction and listened, "And if someone really likes your piece then they'll possibly want to buy it."

"That would be great," I said.

"Well that's only if they want to buy it. This is a tough occupation. Sometimes you won't receive any sort of money or you won't get any buyers for a while."

I could tell that she was hinting towards something and I was thinking that maybe, just maybe it was about a possible job.

"We could use another gallery attendant. Dana up there sometimes has a tough time with handling all the guests at shows. And since you're nineteen, I'm thinking that you need the money," well you think right.

"Yeah," I nodded, "Sure, when would you like me to come in?"

"Wednesday would be fine," she smiled at me, "Come at three. The afternoons are usually easy and I'm sure Dana will be willing to help you," she winked at me.

"Ok, I'll be here at three then. And thank you really, for everything. I'm so grateful."

"See you on Wednesday," she went back to reading her paperwork and left me in complete shock.

I got a freaking job and two pieces that are going to be hung up on one of these white walls. My lucky day? Hell yes!


	15. 14 Same Old Jacob

Chapter 14

Same Old Jacob

I started to chew on my lip as I sat on the couch, staring out at the rain. The constant tapping of raindrops on the window caused me to fall into some sort of trance and I found my thoughts soon going back to the days where I would sit in the living room similar to this, with my legs pulled up close to my chest and my chin resting on my knees. I would sit there and just think about practically everything while the roaring thunder lulled me into a relaxed state. But today, I wasn't necessarily feeling relaxed because there was nothing I could think about except Jacob. Just knowing that he's here, in the same town that I'm in, makes me want to see him. I mean maybe I could…maybe I need to see one of the familiar faces I've been avoiding for the past week. He doesn't hate me or dislike me like Paul and Jared do.

A flash of lighting brought me back to the small living room I was sitting in. The thoughts I was having immediately erased from my mind as soon as I saw Sean running down the stairs. With his work uniform on and his boots tied, he gave me one small peck on the lips and said a quick goodbye before he headed out the door with an umbrella in his hand. Sean hates the weather here and he hasn't let me forget it ever since we got settled in. Every day, after work, he comes home with his hair all wet and his clothes all soaked, complaining that the weather sucks here. I always feel bad when he starts talking crap about La Push because it's like he's talking crap about me, since this is my hometown and where I grew up. I don't tell him how much it bothers me when he says those things, but it really truly does.

I shook my head once and stood up, stretching my arms over my head and walking up the stairs to get changed into something black, which is basically my uniform for work. Even though I don't start until three, I'm planning on getting out of this house today. And basically the plan that I have made in my head leads me to a certain house where a certain someone lives. I can't help but wonder what Jake's reaction will be when he sees me. I want to believe that he'll be happy, but it's been two and a half years since I last talked to him. Ugh, maybe I shouldn't do this…

I sat down onto my bed and put my face in my hands, debating whether or not this is the right thing to do. Either way, I'm not staying in this house. I don't know why, but I haven't had nearly enough courage to step out the front door and live a little ever since I went to the gallery. I think it's fearing that I'll see one of them, that I'll see him, more than anything. But I can't live in fear.

My head started to hurt with a bunch of overwhelming possibilities and what if's, so I laid my head down onto my pillow and eventually I drifted off into a deep sleep.

_I was looking down from somewhere high, but the only thing that was visible was the green grass below me so I couldn't tell where I was. My hands started to shake as I just stared and I gripped what felt like a tree branch for support. Suddenly, a warm hand grabbed my wrist and I flinched._

"_Tell me," I demanded, feeling no control over what I was doing. It was like I was watching a movie, just waiting to see how things would turn out._

"_I can't, you wouldn't understand," right after they spoke I knew who it was. Paul._

"_Yes I would," I felt tears starting to swell up in my eyes, "How could you say that?"_

"_Things are different," he sighed, loosening his grip on my wrist now._

"_So what?" my body turned to face him and now he was the only thing I could see. It was the new Paul, the one who hurt me, but I was talking to him anyways. He stared at me with eyes that were filled with doubt and fear._

"_Don't do this to me…please Sammy. Can't we just talk without the questions?" he asked._

"_No, Paul…we can't," I shook my head; "This secret is the only thing that's keeping me from understanding why."_

_He cupped my cheek with both of his hands, which sent sparks throughout my whole body. _

"_You'll hate me again," he whispers, "I don't want you to hate me."_

My eyes fluttered open when I heard a huge bang of thunder. I immediately sat up and furrowed my eyebrows together, wondering why I dreamed something like that and why I was even talking to him like that. It was as if I had forgiven him, like I was falling for him all over again. And the weird thing is he's the only thing I've been dreaming about lately.

I've heard that when you dream about someone, then they're going to become important to you in the future. But in this situation, I'm really not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I put my feet on the ground and stood up just as I saw another flash of lightning outside. After I put my hair up into a ponytail and put my hooded sweater on I quickly ran down the stairs, putting on a pair of flats. I didn't mind the rain at all. I figured that walking would be a lot more enjoyable then sitting in a car and driving. And if I walked, then it will give me more time to think about whether or not I truly want to go see Jacob now. What if he's not even home? Then what am I supposed to do? Ugh, I guess I really didn't think of that…

I pulled my hood over my head and started to walk with my hands in my pockets, heading in the direction of his house and figuring that I didn't care if he was or wasn't there. I would just have to take that chance.

As I walked down each block I felt myself getting more and more nervous. He could hate me just like the rest of them do. God, I hope he doesn't. I closed my eyes as the rain hit my face and took a couple of deep breaths in order to calm myself down.

For part of the walk I think about my dad and how much I know he would give to see Billy again. But he's not here…and I wish he was because I know that I would be excited instead of nervous right now if I had him here. He would be telling me to suck it up and just go with the flow. I chuckled to myself, imagining him saying that to me.

When I opened my eyes again I could start to feel the downpour turning into a light drizzle and I carried on hoping that everything will be fine. I always get extremely worried about the littlest things, and this is just another thing to add to that list.

Once I was about a block away from their small house I felt a small grin start to form on my lips and I marched down the sidewalk feeling surprisingly confident about what I was heading for. I began to wonder how he's changed over the three years that I was gone. I mean he probably looks older, but still has he changed like Paul and Jared did?

With the question still rattling in my brain I took a single step up towards the door and took one more deep breath before taking another step. As I started to pull one of my hands out of my pockets to knock on the door I hear a low voice from inside the house, followed by another similar voice. As soon as I heard the second voice I recognized it and quickly brought my hand up to the door and knocked four times.

The talking suddenly stopped and when I heard footsteps heading towards the door I couldn't help but feel anxious. I'm finally going to see him again, my savior. I started to smile to myself when I think about him and when I heard his hand twist the door knob open my heart starts thumping loudly inside of my chest. And then the door finally opens to reveal tall, short haired, perfected muscles, Jacob. Even though he looked different, I can still see the same Jacob that I knew through those innocent brown eyes.

He narrowed his stare at me and I knew exactly what he's thinking, is it really me? And just to be sure that it is he opened the screen door, his eyes suddenly getting wider and wider.

"Sammy?" he questioned.

I smiled so wide that I felt my jaw starting to hurt, "Yeah," I answered, adding a nod at the end, "It's me."

"No, it can't be," he stared me up and down, "I'm dreaming."

I chuckled and punched his arm only to realize that he's not affected by it at all as my hand starts throbbing, "Ouch," I muttered to myself before turning my attention back to him again, "Damn that didn't even affect you."

Suddenly a huge grin appears on his face and he pulls me up into his big huge, not to mention really warm, arms and squeezes me to the point where I can't breathe. Once I gasped he let go of me and I was able to regain my breath, "You're back in La Push?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I'm back. What does it look like to you?"

"I don't know…I still think I'm dreaming all of this," he chuckled.

I stared down at my hand and moved all of my fingers to make sure that it isn't broken, "Yeah well here's proof that you're not," I raised my arm and showed him my red hand that was already a little swollen and probably going to be purple soon, "I totally thought I was going to hurt you," I shook my head.

"Aw crap, that's my fault," he immediately grabs my good right hand and leads me into the house, through the living room and into the kitchen, "Here let me get you some ice. Sit if you want," he lets go of me and heads to the refrigerator while I sit down at the table, taking in what his house looks like on the inside.

Before I could even comment on the house, Embry Call casually walked out of the bathroom. And when he saw me with a swollen hand he just chuckled and shook his head from side to side.

"Nice to see you too," I said out loud.

He leaned up against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest and stared at me, "Sammy right?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

Just then Jake comes up to me with a bag of ice and sets it onto my hand, taking a seat across from me and just staring at it.

"Don't ever punch me," his eyes met mine and his lips pull up into a genuine smile, "Not unless you want to end up with a broken hand."

"Thanks, I'll take that into consideration the next time I feel like hurting you," I raised one eyebrow.

"Hopefully there won't be another time where you would want to hurt me."

The two of us laughed with each other and I began to wonder why I ever doubted that he would still be the Jacob I knew before.

I didn't even realize that Embry was still here until he started to walk into the living room, "I'm gonna go. I'm feeling like I'm not wanted here anymore," he lifted both of his eyebrows at us, "Jake, try not to kill her and Sammy, try not to piss him off."

Jake rolled his eyes at Embry and when I heard the door close; I know it's just us two now. For a moment, we just sit there and stare at each other, but then Jake's eyes met mine and he opened his mouth to start the conversation.

"So," he said.

"So," I replied.

His gaze went straight to the table and I could tell that he was trying to think of what he could say next.

"Did you come back because of-,"

"No," I interrupted him. I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it, "I came back because an art gallery wanted to display one of my pieces. Not because of him."

"Sorry that was a bad question."

I shrugged, "It's ok, no biggie."

The air went quiet once again. It's not awkward or anything, it's just-

"Do you still, care about him? Paul I mean?" he stared at me as he said this and I shut down, not knowing how I could possibly answer that because I truly didn't know the answer.

"I have a boyfriend," I said.

"That doesn't mean that you still can't care about Paul," he slightly narrowed his eyes.

I felt myself starting to get frustrated because this is not what I came here for. I didn't want to be bombarded with questions about Paul, questions that I don't even know how to answer. I just wanted to see him.

"Does it really matter?" I stared down at the ice that was resting on my hand and waited to hear what he would say next.

"Yeah, I think it does."

"Why? He broke up with me…I moved on," this is not what I wanted to talk about…

He paused, "Because I know that he-,"

"I don't want to hear it," I hissed.

When I looked at his face again, his eyes were set on my hand and he didn't even bother to look back up at me. I knew what I wanted to say next. If he could ask me about Paul, then I could ask him about Bella.

"So, how's Bella?"

He flinched and I could tell that I set something off inside of him when his hands started to clench into fists.

He chuckled without humor, "I guess I deserve that," I kept quiet while waiting for him to answer me, "She married Edward," he confessed.

I froze, feeling like a complete and total ass. Oh God, I shouldn't have asked him that.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I shut my eyes for a second and then opened them again to look at him, "That was really dumb of me I shouldn't have-,"

"It's ok," he half smiled, "I mean it hurt to see her marry someone else, but I'm dealing with it. And besides, I asked you about Paul, so why can't you ask me about Bella?"

"I still feel like an ass…" my left hand began to feel numb, so I took the half melted ice off of it and set it down on the table next to me.

"Don't," he reached his hand out towards my right hand and touched the tip of my finger with the tip of his. I creased my eyebrows at how hot his hands felt.

"What are you sick?" I snickered.

He smiled, "No, I'm not sick."

"I find that very hard to believe considering how hot you are," I clamped my mouth shut as soon as the words came out of my mouth and silently cursed inside of my head, just knowing that he could possibly take it the wrong way.

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself."

I rolled my eyes, "You know what I meant, Jake."

"Yeah I know, you think I'm hot," he leaned back in his chair and kept a cheesy grin on his face.

"Don't make me hit you with," I glanced around the room, "That toaster!"

He looked over his shoulder, "Hey," he shrugged, "You break it you buy it."

I let out a low grunt, "It wouldn't break."

"Oh trust me, it would," he put his feet up onto the table and crossed one ankle over the other so that his chair was only standing on two legs. And then he put both of his hands behind his head.

I bit my bottom lip while I contemplated whether or not I should push him over or just leave him like that. It's so tempting….

My eyes flickered between the chair and Jacob. It would be so easy…

"It's not gonna work," he snickered.

My eyebrows shot up in an attempt to make it look like I didn't know what he was talking about, "What's not gonna work?"

He rolled his eyes and stopped leaning in the chair, folding his hands on the table, "I'm not blind; I saw your eyes staring at the chair. I'm one step ahead of you Sammy."

I glanced at my hand again and saw that it was already starting to turn purple. Great, that's all I need right now is my hand looking purple on my first day of work.

"Why didn't I hurt you when I punched you?" I slightly raised my head to get a good look at him.

"What do you mean?" he knows what I mean, I know for a fact that he understands.

"I mean, why am I the one with a bruised hand while you sit there perfectly fine?"

There was nothing but silence and I stared at him while he seemed to be getting nervous, "Because you weren't punching me the right way," he grinned, probably thinking that his answer was the perfect cover up while I just think it's stupid as hell.

I wasn't punching him the right way? Really? That's his excuse?

I changed the subject, figuring that I didn't want to get into this right now, "So, how's your dad been?" I asked.

He nodded, "He's good actually," he sighed in relief because I decided to shy away from the whole punching topic.

"And how's everyone else?" let's just say that I was curious and hoping that he would tell me about everyone except for Paul and Jared.

"Everyone's fine, just fine."

I bobbed my head up and down and started to tap my fingers on the table while I examined the kitchen again.

"Are you dating that…that guy you told me about?"

My eyes widened at his question. I didn't think he would remember that…

"Yeah, I am," I grinned.

He furrowed his eyebrows before continuing, "And are you happy?"

I hesitated to answer because I wanted to tell him the truth, the whole truth, "It's the happiest I've been ever since…well, you know."

He exhaled slowly, "Yeah, I know."

And then, there was yet another period of complete and total silence. I knew that he was probably curious about what's happened to me ever since I last talked to him, but I didn't think that he would ask me questions like this…

"Does Paul ever cross your mind, Sammy?" he was being careful with what he was saying and at this point I figured that I'd answer since I knew the questions would eventually be asked.

"All the time," I answered, truthfully, "Even when I don't want to I do. He keeps popping up everywhere, especially my dreams," I felt my heart starting to ache because now I was thinking about him. That feeling never seems to fail to come to me when something about him is brought up, "Do you talk to him?" I said, out of curiosity.

He nodded, "More than I'd like to."

I tried to wrap my mind around that. Jacob never even liked Paul before and now he's talking to him? Things really have changed…

"I know that he thinks about you all the time too," he replied in a low tone.

I didn't want to believe it because it couldn't be true. He broke up with me and said he didn't love me, so why the hell would he think about me? The only reason why he would ever think about me now is probably because he's wondering why he wasted his time on me.

"I doubt it," I muttered.

"Doubt all you want, but I know it's the truth."

And I know it's not the truth because he's over me. Or at least he should be over me…

"You look so grown up now," Jake commented, making that thought go to the back of my mind.

I smiled and stared at his face, "You do too. I kind of miss your long hair though…now I can never braid it…" I teased.

"What?" he raised one eyebrow, "You were going to braid my hair?"

"No," I laughed, "Just messing with you."

He smiled, but it didn't take long before the smile faded away, "A lot of things have changed."

"Yeah, I know."

His eyes went back to my hand and before I knew it he carefully touched it with his warm fingers, "I know one thing that hasn't changed though."

I started to shiver from the warmth that replaced the cold feeling of ice, "What?"

"The way I feel about you," he enclosed his hand around mine and held it gently so that he didn't hurt me, though I already knew that Jacob wouldn't.

"Yeah," I chuckled, "That's true."

"I'm sorry that I stopped calling," his voice was barely a whisper.

"It's ok," I shrugged, "You probably have a good reason as to why you stopped."

"Yeah, I guess so."

I glanced over his shoulder only to see that the clock on the oven read, **2:45**. My eyes bugged out of their sockets at that moment. How long have I been here for?

I immediately stood up and cursed to myself, "I have to get to work. Damn it, I didn't even drive," I put my hood on over my head once again and headed for the door while Jacob quickly followed behind me.

"Let me drive you, so you won't be late."

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him, "You would do that for me?"

He grinned, "Yeah, of course," he picked his keys up off of the coffee table that sat in the living room and slipped his shoes on.

When we stepped outside the rain was pelting down onto the ground and I groaned, knowing that I would have to dart towards his car and get even more soaked.

I took a deep breath and ran out into the rain, opening the passenger side door to Jake's rabbit and quickly closing it when I got in, a terrible pain going through my hand when I realized which one I was using.

I hissed through clenched teeth and of course, Jake noticed.

"Be careful," he turned his body in his seat, "Are you ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah, just drive; I really have to get there like now."

"Tell me where this art gallery is," he put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. As I told him which way he should go, he listened intently without saying a single word. The whole ride there was filled with nothing but the words right, left, and straight. We didn't try to make any sort of conversation, but that's probably because I told him to concentrate on driving.

Once we reached the gallery he came to a stop in the parking lot. I undid my seatbelt while looking at the clock on his radio, realizing that I have five minutes to spare.

"Thanks Jake," I said, "I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'd be late without me," he smiled.

I rolled my eyes and leaned over my seat, wrapping my arms around his hot shoulders, "I really missed you," I whispered in his ear.

"Same here."

"Do me a favor, will you?" I pulled away from him only to see him nod, "Don't tell him that I work here. And please don't-,"

"I won't tell him or anyone for that matter."

I slowly opened the door and stepped out of the car, "I'll talk to you later?" I hope I will.

"Yeah, I'll call you or text you so your boyfriend won't get angry," his eyebrows shot up.

I laughed, "Bye Jake."

And then I closed the door and headed for work. Clearly I was wrong because he's obviously the exact same Jacob that I used to know


	16. 15 Unexpected Visitor

**this chapter took a lot of effort to write. I mean i kept sitting at my computer with the word document open, unable to come up with what i would do. and then it hit me :D**

**soo here it is. I hope you all like it and i hope it leaves you wanting more.  
**

* * *

_Just talk yourself up  
And tear yourself down  
You ripped through one wall  
Now find a way around  
Well what's the problem?  
You've got a lot of nerve_

_What'd you think I would say?  
You can't run away, you can't run away  
So what did you think I would say?  
You can't run away, you can't run away  
You wouldn't_

_I never wanted to say this  
You never wanted to stay  
I put my faith in you, so much faith  
And then you just threw it away  
You threw it away_

**_For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, Paramore_**

**_

* * *

  
_**

Chapter 15

Unexpected Visitor

The week seemed to go by quickly, too quickly for my liking. Work for the most part is easy, but today I'm a little nervous and hesitant about going. I should be happy, ecstatic really, because it's the first art show my pieces are being displayed in. Dana, the other gallery attendant that I work with, says that it'll be a great experience for me. She may be right, but I'm actually thinking it's going to be nerve racking. What if people hate my paintings? I've always hated having people judge my artwork. It makes me feel insecure for some reason. I mean the only one I've ever allowed to see all of my drawings is-

"I'm home!" I jumped when I heard Sean's voice booming through the house, nearly falling off of my bed in the process.

I quickly composed myself and got back to getting ready for work while I heard his footsteps coming up the steps of our home. When he came through the door to our room, I smiled and said a quick hi to him.

He slowly came up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist while I attempted to fix my messy hair, "Are you nervous?" he whispered in my ear.

I shrugged and stopped trying to tame the beast also known as my hair, "Yeah," I sighed.

"Don't be, everything will turn out great. People are gonna love your paintings."

"Hopefully," I added quietly.

He kissed my neck a couple of times before turning me around so he could kiss me on the lips. I didn't want to start smooching with him right now, but I didn't stop him as his face got closer and closer to me. Just as his lips were about to touch mine, my phone vibrated in my pocket and since I didn't want to kiss him right now, I took it as an opportunity to squirm out of his arms and not kiss him. As soon as I pulled away he sighed in frustration while I just grabbed my phone out of my pocket. I don't know why it seems like he always chooses the worst times to express his love for me. It's like he only wants to kiss me when my mind is in a completely different place.

I opened my phone and read the text, smiling when I realized it was none other than Jacob.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me," Sean muttered.

I glanced over my shoulder and nodded at him before I hurriedly turned my attention back to my phone and read the bold text over and over again.

**Good luck with your show tonight.**

I smiled from ear to ear and started to write my own text back saying, **Thanks! Are you coming?**

Maybe it's wrong for me to be paying more attention to Jacob's text message instead of Sean, but I just feel frustrated with him right now. He won't stop complaining about this place and it just hurts to hear how much he hates it here. And for him to try and kiss me when I'm not in the mood too makes me feel even angrier.

I quickly flipped my phone open when it vibrated again, **No, I can't. I have to…work, but I promise I'll come to the next one.**

I sighed in disappointment, **its ok, I understand. Have fun at work!**

On that note, I finished preparing myself for work and headed downstairs to put on my shoes. When I reached the living room I was surprised to see Sean sitting in the living room, watching TV as if he was settling in for a late night.

"Aren't you coming?" I questioned as I sat down on the couch next to him so I could slip on my shoes.

He stared at me, "I don't know. Do you really want me to go?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Of course I want you to go. Why wouldn't I?" ugh, please tell me we're not going to fight. That's all I need right now.

"Because lately you seem…distant, it's almost like you hate being around me."

I furrowed my eyebrows and stared down at my feet while I attempted to come up with a response to that.

"Do you hate being around me?" he asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

I hesitated, "No," I mumbled.

"Then why is that every time I try to kiss you, you turn away?"

In my mind, I was repeating over and over again what I wanted to say, _because you hate everything that makes me, me._

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I raised my head and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, "I really don't think this is the-,"

"Fine," he scowled, "Have fun at your art show."

I sat there, dumbfounded. Is he really not coming?

I waited for him to say something, to give me some indication to whether or not we were going to go together or if he was just going to sit here and be bitter the whole night.

As soon as he gets up and walks into the kitchen, I know that he's not going to talk to me. So, without another word I slowly stood up and picked up my keys, quickly heading out the door and shutting it behind me. I didn't want to cry or do anything like that right now because it wouldn't help if I came into work with my eyes looking all bloodshot. So as a substitute for crying I gnawed on my bottom lip until I could taste blood in my mouth and the whole ride there I constantly blinked in order to keep the tears inside of my eyes.

It wasn't so much the fact that Sean was angry with me because I refused to kiss him that bothered me. It was the fact that no one that I cared about was going to be at my first art show. And even though I know that Jacob wants to come, it still hurts to know that he won't be there. As soon as I feel the stinging of tears in my eyes I immediately erase those thoughts out of my mind and think positive ones for the rest of the ride to Port Angeles.

As soon as I pulled into a parking space about a block away from the gallery, I checked my phone to make sure I wasn't late and once I opened it I discovered that I had one more text message from Jacob that I missed.

I quickly read it and a small smile appeared on my lips, **I'm sure I won't. I'd rather be there supporting you.**

His text made me feel a bit better about everything and I was suddenly starting to feel more confident about the show because at least I knew that someone wanted to be there. Before I got out of the car, I checked myself in the mirror to be sure that I didn't look like I had cried or anything. My eyes were a little red, but hopefully no one will notice.

As I walked toward the gallery I kept breathing deeply to calm my nerves. For the first time in two weeks it was sunny and I liked to think that that was a sign of good luck. As I stared up at the setting sun and the peach colored sky I wondered why there's always so much chaos in my life. It's as if someone thinks that when I'm happy I have it too easy, so they throw a whole bunch of obstacles in my way and I can never seem to get around them. And that's how I truly feel right now, like something's standing in the way of me being happy.

When I enter the gallery, I'm welcomed by Dana's warm smile and she comes up to me and immediately hugs me.

"Today's the big day!" she exclaims.

I chuckled.

Once she pulls away I put every negative thought in the back of my mind and keep a huge smile on my face.

"Are you excited!?" she asked in her way too happy tone.

"A little bit. I think nervous is a better word to describe how I'm feeling right now," or angry…or disappointed…

"Aw don't be nervous. It'll be fine. You're a great artist with a lot of talent so I'm sure everyone will love your work."

"I'm glad someone feels that way," I whispered to myself.

When people start to come in I start to feel a little anxious because every time someone walks through that door I'm thinking it'll be Jake coming in because he got off of work early or Sean coming in to apologize to me. But as the night goes on and as more people come and go, I lose hope. I'm thankful that my job is easy, though, because really the only thing I have to do is greet people once they come in and sometimes give them a tour. Since Dana and I are both fairly new, we for the most part sit behind the front desk and chat with each other. And since the front wall is lined with a bunch of windows, we know when we have to act serious.

I slightly looked up when I saw the shape of someone coming towards the door and since the figure's tall, dark, and muscular, I sit up straight. When they appear in the doorway my heart sinks because it's not Jake. Well, not unless he recently grew a beard and started losing his hair. I sigh softly before greeting them.

"Hello, and welcome to the Landings Art Gallery. Have a look around and if you need any help or if you'd like to consider purchasing a piece, I can assist you."

The man nods once and grins before drifting off towards some sculpture. I glance at both of my paintings that are hanging on the wall to my left and smile when I see a couple of people standing there viewing them. It's nice to know that people are finally recognizing me for what I do best.

"Why so glum chum?" I hear Dana say.

I laughed at her question, "I'm fine," I lied.

"Oh yeah? Then why do you keep staring at the door like you're expecting someone to come bursting through and then sigh when it's an old bald guy?" she said, the look on her face serious.

I shrugged and looked down at the brochures that were sitting on the desk. I picked one up and started to briefly overview it. And when I turned the page there they were, the two pieces that I made. I grinned, realizing how real this all was.

I kept my eyes on the page once I heard the door open and close. And figuring that it was just another old guy I greeted them.

"Hi, and welcome to the Landings Art Gallery. Have a look around and if you need any help or-," when I finally looked up, I felt my throat completely close. My mouth was hanging open and my head was spinning.

The name ringed in my ears over a million times and for some reason I couldn't pull my gaze away from his. I was torturing myself and it was hurting me, but I couldn't stop staring at him. His lips slightly moved into the form of a grin and I finally managed to take my eyes off of his.

He didn't look any different than the last time I saw him, only this time he was grinning like a fool. Those eyes that have haunted me ever since I moved, those soft lips that I once kissed, were all there standing in front of me, while I tried to find my voice so I could speak. My first initial reaction was to run, but no, I couldn't do that, not now. So, I went with my second choice, to completely ignore him and act like he wasn't there.

"Or if you'd like to consider purchasing a piece," I quickly changed my words around, "Dana can assist you," and then I looked straight down at the brochure again, not really paying any more attention to it, just wondering why he was here. Even if I knew the truth I didn't want to admit it.

She stood up and glared at me, "What? I thought we agreed that you would-," and then she looked up and saw him. I could already tell what she was thinking, his clothes fitted him just perfectly and his sweet face is so inviting. Yeah, I felt like that once, "On second thought, I'd be glad to show you around if you'd like."

I gripped the desk and slightly glanced at him to see what his response would be. Or maybe I just wanted to hear him speak.

"Uh, no that's ok," I felt his eyes staring at me, "I'm pretty sure I can manage, but thanks anyways," he sounds exactly the same too…deep and husky…

"No problem," her voice trailed off and as he walked away I heard her sigh, "Isn't he cute?" she whispered.

I examined my fingernails now, "Sure," I said, dryly. I was surprised that I was keeping a straight face on the outside since I was literally breaking down on the inside.

"Oh come on you cannot tell me that he is not hot," she nudged me.

I finally looked at her, "I have a boyfriend you know!" I tried to be as quiet as I possibly could.

"So what that doesn't mean that you can't think a guy is hot! Just look at him!" she demanded.

I shook my head thinking that this could not be happening to me right now. Maybe I'm dreaming again. Yeah, it's a huge possibility considering the fact that he's been the only thing I can dream about lately.

"Look!" she shouted now.

I swallowed the huge lump that formed in my throat when he walked through the door and daringly raised my head and looked straight at the wall to my left, knowing that he would be there. He stood there, tall and lean, with his hands in his pockets and his dark hair just touching the collar of his button down shirt. He was perfect, and to think that he was once mine made looking at him unbearable. I started biting my lip again so that I wouldn't cry.

"So?" she questioned.

"I have a boyfriend," I reminded her louder, my voice slightly cracking.

His head turned in my direction and his eyebrows furrowed. As soon as he looked directly into my eyes again, and knowing what happened the last time he did that, I lowered my gaze back down to my fingers and shut my eyes tightly. I felt like I was in a nightmare and I wanted all of it to just stop and all I wanted to do was wake up, but I knew I couldn't. He was here and that's that.

"He seems to really like your paintings. That's all he's looking at."

Why? I questioned in my head. Why does he choose to do this to me? Does he really want to hurt me all over again? Is he really going to be that cruel to me?

And I believed that that was true, that he did come here just to torture me because he didn't leave. When everyone else was leaving, he just kept strolling through the gallery, always stopping at my pieces. I felt numb whenever I looked at him. And the terribly sweet feeling I got whenever he looked straight into my eyes was torture too, I figured.

As it got closer and closer to closing time, I started to think about how wrong I really was about him. He's a jerk who just likes to see people when they're down and hurting. Maybe Jake's a jerk too since he's the only one I told about me working at the art gallery. I mean how else would Paul have known about this? God, I can just see them now, conjuring up their little plan together.

"Thanks for coming!" Dana exclaimed and my head shot up only to see him standing in front of me, walking towards the door, but his eyes never left mine as he walked out.

I looked at the clock and realized that he stayed five minutes past closing time. What a douche…

"I'll close up tonight," Dana offered.

"I can help," I want to help actually. I didn't want to go home to a boyfriend that thought I didn't like being around him.

"No, you look exhausted," she smiled, "Go home and get some rest."

I sighed loudly, but since she thought she was doing me a favor I responded by saying, "Thanks."

"See ya on Monday."

I grabbed my purse and put my hands in my pockets, considering how cold nights are here. And with one more wave over my shoulder I left the gallery for the night and started to walk towards my car.

"Sammy?" His deep voice called from behind me.

Or maybe I'll run towards my car. I kept my mouth shut, knowing how much it would hurt to talk to him right now.

"Please wait."

I ignored him and started to dig in my purse for my car keys, immediately regretting parking a block away from the gallery.

When I lifted my head up I stopped dead in my tracks. He stood in front of me and prevented me from walking any further. How the hell did he get in front of me so fast?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I tried to sound cold and harsh, but my voice ended up sounding weak. He paused and I bravely looked up at his face, "Do you enjoy torturing me, Paul?" my heart ached when I said his name out loud.

"No…I don't," he barely whispered.

"Then why did you come here?"

He pursed his lips together, "How are you?" so much for answering my question…

I turned my stare down to my feet while I tried to come up with something to say, "I don't know," I replied, "How was I the last time I saw you? Maybe that would help you determine how I should feel right now."

He was quiet and I didn't feel like standing out here in the cold so I walked around him and stalked off towards my car again.

"I'm sorry!" he shouted, making me slow down a little, "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."

I shook my head from side to side and scowled in disbelief, "Do you really expect me to forgive you for what you did to me?" I turned towards him, "Do you think I'm just going to let it go just like that?"

He sighed, "No, I don't expect any of that."

"Then why are you here talking to me?" His jaw clenched and I could tell that I had stumped him, "Look, I don't have time for this," I took a step forward but he grabbed my wrist and forced me to turn in his direction again.

"Just wait a minute-,"

"How did you know that I worked there? Who told you?" I was expecting him to say Jacob so that I could go home knowing who was to blame for this evil prank.

"No one," he loosened his grip on my wrist, "I figured it out."

And that had made me confused. How did he figure it out? And why does he even care?

We both stood there in silence and I tried to put two and two together, but nothing made sense, "You hurt me," I muttered, "What gives you the right to come to my art show?"

He closed his eyes, "I just wanted to support you."

I cackled at that, "_You_ support _me_? After you completely ripped my heart out?" My eyes started watering again and this time I didn't stop them, "It's been three years, Paul," I sobbed, "You can't expect me to just act like nothing happened."

"I know," he said, silently.

"You hate me," I wiped my cheeks dry.

"No," he replied, "I could never hate you."

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, "But you lead me to believe that you did."

Again, I shut him up. And figuring that I didn't want to hear anymore of his confusing bull shit, I walked toward my car again. This time he didn't try to stop me or anything and I was thankful for that because as soon as I got into my car, I cried. You'd think that after three years, I wouldn't break down like this again, that I'd be able to compose myself. But after hearing all of that, I didn't know what else I could do.

And as I thought about tonight and everything that happened, reality hit me. He was the only one there at the art show and he claimed that he was supporting me even though I didn't believe that. But he was there, he came when no one else did.

**REVIEW!!! and on a scale of 1-10 rate this story in your review!! i'd like to see what everyone thinks!!! ;)**

**oh and if you're wondering how Paul figured out about Sammy and the art gallery it's because he heard Jake thinking about it in his wolf form ;)  
**


	17. 16 Second Chance

**thank you for all of the reviews for the last chapter! you guys are amazing!!! **

**i hope you all like this chapter...unfortunately it might be my last for a little while (not that long but yeah) i'm going on vacation this weekend and then when i come back i start school...ugh XP**

**and i'm sorry that i haven't updated! i've been very busy with violin practice and other stuff!**

**well as always ENJOY!  
**

* * *

_Remember when we were such fools  
And so convinced and just too cool  
Oh no, no no_

_I wish I could touch you again  
I wish I could still call you a friend  
I'd give anything_

_When someone said count your blessings now  
For they're long gone  
I guess I just didn't know how  
I was all wrong_

_But they knew better  
Still you said forever and ever  
Who knew?_

_**Who Knew, Pink**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Chapter 16

Second Chance

That night I didn't sleep. It wasn't the downpour outside, or the fact that I didn't have Sean lying next to me because he chose to sleep on the couch. The real reason why I laid there restless is because I couldn't stop thinking about that horrible conversation I had with Paul. I wondered why he said sorry to me or why he wanted to be there to support me since he made it clear three years ago that he didn't care about me.

I thought about his expression when he came through the door. He looked like he was happy to see me. And even then I didn't understand why I couldn't keep my eyes off of him whenever I looked at him. The feeling I got when our eyes met was surprising to me. It was like I was falling for him all over again when the fact is that I should hate his guts. And I know that on the outside I made it look and sound like I hated him, but on the inside I still felt something for him and I can't seem to decipher what that feeling was.

My gaze turned to the alarm clock sitting on the side table next to me. It was already six in the morning. Great, there's nothing like staying up the whole night because I'm thinking too much about a guy I should hate. I sighed and slowly got out of bed, not bothering to turn any lights on as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. When I could smell the sweet scent of coffee lingering in the air and when I heard the shower running I knew that Sean was already up.

I shuffled toward the counter and poured myself a cup of coffee, leaving it black since I needed the caffeine now more than ever. I took a sip as I sat down and soon started to drum my fingers against the table while I remained in deep thought. Every word that was said and every emotion that I felt earlier remained in my mind. The whole conversation kept repeating in my head and left me with so many different questions that I wanted answered. Questions such as, why he would even bother to come and why he said that he was sorry. It just didn't make sense to me at the moment and all I wanted now was for it to be cleared up. And that means that I would have to see him and talk to him again…

I scoffed at the thought. As if I wanted to repeat what happened yesterday. I couldn't do that, not again. It's just too hard right now.

When I heard footsteps coming into the room I stopped tapping my fingers and stared at the wall, not bothering to say a word. I could feel his eyes on me as he poured his own cup of coffee and when he came over to the table and sat in the chair next to me, I just twiddled my thumbs and occasionally took a sip of what I considered the only thing that would keep me awake today.

The room was completely silent and an awkward feeling filled the air around us as we sat there in our own little worlds. But when Sean shifted uncomfortably in his seat I knew that he was going to say something. So I looked up and waited until he spoke.

"How was the show?" he barely whispered.

I thought of how much of a lie I would have to tell him, "It was really good actually. A bunch of people came," including the guy who broke my heart, "I think they all liked my work."

He sighed, "I'm really sorry about yesterday," he glanced at me for a moment before he continued, "I shouldn't have brought that up, especially right before your show. It was stupid of me."

I brought my cup up to my lips and drank until I came up with something to say, "Well if that's really how you feel then let's talk about it," I bit my tongue right after the words came out of my mouth because I really didn't want to talk about it now, but if it meant that he wouldn't be angry with me anymore then I would just have to grin and bear it.

He nodded his head, "Ok," he agreed, "Well first of all, I want to know why you seem so distant all of sudden."

My muscles tensed up when he said that and I figured that answering him truthfully would be the only way to resolve the problem, "Because you hate it here," He stared at me with his hands clasped around his mug, waiting for me to continue, "And you never stop complaining about how much the weather sucks," I paused for a moment, "It just makes me feel like shit because it's as if you dislike everything that makes me who I am today."

"That's not true," his eyebrows furrowed, "I love you for who you are."

I shook my head, "That's not how I feel."

He took both my hands in his and I looked at his eyes which were filled with fear and doubt, "What can I do to prove to you that I love everything about you?"

I hesitated to respond because I didn't know what his reaction would be to my answer, but I was willing to take that risk, "I don't know if there is anything you can do, Sean. I mean this place, these people, they mean everything to me. I probably wouldn't be an artist if it wasn't for my friends who encouraged me to keep drawing and doing what I do. I wouldn't have had enough courage to move if it wasn't for all of them. And if I didn't have these surroundings to use for my work, then I wouldn't have even considered going to art school," it was hard to admit, but it was also the complete and total truth. If it wasn't for Jared or Paul or Jacob then I wouldn't have my paintings hanging up in that gallery. And if I didn't have the beautiful forest to inspire me to draw then I wouldn't have known that I had talent.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak again, "How could you say that when they all hurt you so badly Samantha?"

I flinched, but it didn't prevent me from responding, "I can say it because it's true. Even though _some _of them hurt me, they did help me. And even though this place does hold a few painful memories, I still love it."

I pulled my hands out of his grip and looked away from him now. I could tell that he didn't like my answer, but I couldn't lie.

He stood up from where he was sitting and dumped the rest of his coffee out in the sink. I had expected him to leave next, but he surprised me when he came back and sat in the same chair that he was sitting in before. He looked determined and I could tell that behind that determination there was fear and I figured that fear was of losing me.

"Look," he looked at me and I did the same, "I know that I've said that I hate the weather and that I hate it here, but that doesn't change the way I feel about you, ok?" For some odd reason I nodded. He grinned and kissed me on the cheek, "I love you and nothing's going to change that," I bobbed my head up and down again, robotically, "So, how about we have some fun?"

I raised my head slightly, "What do you mean by fun?"

Sean chuckled, "I mean how about we go somewhere, together. There's some big party down at the beach tonight that all of my co-workers are going to. They all want to meet you and I think it'll be fun."

I thought about it for a moment, what harm would come in going to a party? "Ok, let's go," I smiled, "If you say it'll be fun then I guess I could give it a try," and since I don't want to fight anymore I'll just go…

He flashed his teeth and pecked me on the lips, "I love you," he whispered to me.

I chuckled, "You too."

He kissed me one more time before he stood up and headed out of the living room to leave for work I presumed, but once he reached the doorway he stopped and slightly turned towards me, "One more thing," I waited for him to continue, "Um…Jared Foster," the name sent a shiver down my spine, "Yeah, I kind of work with him…so he's most likely going to be there," I swallowed the lump that was stuck in my throat, "I know that he was a jerk to you and all, and don't get me wrong I really think he's a jerk too, but I don't think that that should be any reason why we don't go."

And without any thought about it I shook my head and grinned, "No it's no problem. I'm not going to let him stop me from having a good time," lie, lie, lie…

"Good," he nodded, "So, I'll see you later then."

"Mhm," I looked down when he left the room and when I heard the door close I sighed, "Sure, he's not going to be any problem at all," I muttered to myself before I went back to sipping my coffee. Great, now I have to worry about seeing Jared at the one thing that I thought no one I used to know would be at…things can never be simple for me…

***

On our way to the beach I felt myself starting to get worried because I knew that if Jared was going to be there then Paul was going to be there. It was only logical that Jared's friends went. And since Sean just had to admit to me that he talks about me all the time to his co-workers, in front of Jared too, then it would make sense if Jared told Paul that there was a party and that I was going to be there. Paul's only reason for going is to probably see how much more I can take until I completely crack. Obviously it wasn't enough to torture me at work. No, that's not enough at all.

I sighed when the familiar grainy sand and the blue ocean full of waves came into view. I can avoid them if I have to. And I really don't think Sean will let them try to even talk to me. He knows how much they hurt me and he understands. I think.

Once the car came to a complete stop I prepared myself for what was to come. It won't be terrible if I don't pay any attention to them. I mean if I sat with my back towards them or something than I'll be fine….

…Ok who am I kidding, there's no possible way to avoid them, especially in a small town like this.

I hadn't even realized that my door was open until I felt Sean tap me on the shoulder. I slightly jumped and looked at him. He reached his hand out and I took it without hesitation, slowly stepping out of the car and closing the door behind me.

I could smell smoke, which probably meant that there was some sort of bonfire going on. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jared, Paul, and whoever else came with them. I can remember when my father would take the two of us down to the beach and we would start a fire. It was something we used to do almost every weekend. We would sit around the bonfire and my dad would tell us the old legends of the Quileutes. Even though the legends were said to be just scary stories, I always believed that they were real. I liked to think that maybe this town held something special, that there was a whole other half of the world that no one knew about. I used to want to be a part of it, but as time passed those wants faded away because it was only logical that they did. I never had the bravery to tell anyone that I dreamed of being a part of some sort of nonexistent mythical world because people would've thought that I was insane. Not even Paul knows about those fantasies.

As we walked towards Sean's co-workers, I just kept replaying memories in my head, good memories. Memories that kept me from paying attention to the people Sean was introducing me to. And thoughts that distracted me when I didn't even realize that I was sitting on the side facing them. That's when the memories slowly slipped away…when I saw a huge group of dark, cropped hair and russet colored skin. I couldn't help but look at them though. My eyes wouldn't listen to my brain basically. It was like I was no longer in control of them because the next thing I knew, there he was in all his glory. Of course, he was looking right at me with his big and beautiful brownie colored eyes.

The sound of a can opening made my eyes shift in the direction of where it was coming from and a loud buzzing noise went off in my mind when I saw a beer in Sean's hand. It didn't even occur to me before that this party could possibly include alcohol because if I knew that it did, than I never would've agreed to come.

Sean grabbed one more from the cooler and put it right in my face, "Want one?"

I scowled and pushed the beer away from me, "Are you really going to drink, Sean?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, I was planning on it," he took one big sip of it and then he threw the other one back into the icy cooler, "It helps me loosen up."

"Well that's great and all, but you're the one who drove here!" I shouted in frustration. How could he be so inconsiderate?

"Don't worry babe," he slung one arm around my shoulder and leaned back into his chair, "I'll only drink one, I promise."

"Uh huh," I mumbled and gritted my teeth. He can be such a jerk sometimes…

When I realized that everyone, and I mean every single person sitting around me, was drinking I felt extremely uncomfortable. And knowing that _this _was what he thought was fun had me fuming. I slapped Sean's arm off of my shoulder and stalked away from all of them. I didn't even care that I was heading in Paul's direction anymore. And obviously Sean doesn't care either.

I shook my head from side to side and crossed my arms over my chest while I walked in the smooth sand. The one thing that pisses me off the most though is that this all could've been avoided. I could've avoided seeing Paul again and I could've avoided the fact that I'm now going to have to find some way to deal with Sean now that he plans on getting wasted. God, I can't take this anymore.

I stopped walking and shut my eyes tight while I tried to come up with something positive to think about. I inhaled a big breath of smoky smelling air and let the memories come back to my mind. As the wind blew through my hair and my feet sunk deeper into the sand I opened up my eyes again and they immediately found him again. This time he wasn't looking at me, he was walking away from the rest of the group. I felt a part of me wanting to run toward him and another bigger part that made my feet stay cemented to the place I was standing in. That didn't stop me from staring at Paul though and just before he disappeared he glanced over his shoulder and looked at me. I felt a jolt of electricity run through me when our eyes met and when he stopped I bit my lip. He pressed his eyebrows together before looking away and finally heading out of sight.

I don't know why, but I felt like calling out his name and catching up with him so we could talk because by the look he gave me, I knew that something was wrong. It was only natural that I felt like helping him I figured.

I looked back at Sean and sighed when I saw him picking up another can of beer. Yeah, one beer my ass…

"Hey," the familiar voice greeted.

I turned my head back around and smiled, "Is it completely pathetic to say that you're really the only person I want to talk to right now?"

Jake grinned, "No, it's not pathetic at all."

I chuckled and immediately sat down in the sand, him quickly doing the same. I stared out at the sun as it inched closer and closer to the ocean, indicating that twilight was near.

"So," he nudged me, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the sunset while I spoke, "I'm not exactly the type of girl that drinks alcohol. It kind of brings back bad memories," at that point all of my thoughts immediately went to my mom. As if I could think about anything else right now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be…it's not your fault. You're being responsible…"

"Well than I'm sorry that your boyfriend isn't being responsible," he replied.

"I don't think he understands though," I admitted, "For me it's just hard to watch someone do that to themselves. All I can imagine is one of them driving and hitting some innocent person."

He looked at me and I did the same, seeing some sense of understandings in his eyes because he knew what I was referring to. I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his warm arm. I felt him stiffen from underneath me.

"Your boyfriend's staring at us," he pointed out.

"Let him look," I sighed, "I'm sick of feeling like I have to change just to be with him."

He was a silent for only a moment, "If you feel that way then why are you with him?"

I hesitated to answer, "I don't know," I whispered, "I guess I just don't feel like being alone."

"But you're not alone Sammy," he said, "You've got me."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye but didn't say anything. Without any thought about it, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Bella should've chosen you," I breathed.

"Paul shouldn't have let you go," he added.

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks and it made me look up to see if Paul was standing with the group of guys again. When I didn't see him I started to wonder where he ran off to. Maybe he left because I was there…maybe he was actually not trying to torture me today. I'd like to think that that was the truth.

I scanned the group and didn't react at all when I saw Sam, but when I saw Jared with his hand intertwined with another girl's hand I did a double take.

"Jared's got a girlfriend?" I questioned.

Jake followed my gaze and then looked at me again, "Yeah, her name's Kim Connweller."

I examined her appearance. She seemed glued to Jared's side with her small and plain face and flat black hair.

"Wow she's not a blonde bimbo," I muttered to myself. It surprised me to see Jared with a girl who actually wasn't smacking her lips on a piece of gum and twirling her bleach blonde hair on her finger. Kim actually looked like she was capable of saying something smart, "She's pretty cute."

"And sweet," Jake commented, "They're pretty much head over heels for each other."

"It's about time he found a girl who's actually good for him."

Jacob managed to laugh at that and both of us soon went back to watching the sun set. And when it finally did and when the stars came into view, we just kept talking to each other. Neither of us really cared if people were staring and I didn't mind it if Jared had seen me. We were just enjoying our time together.

"I'm so glad that tonight didn't totally suck. As soon as I saw the beer I thought I was going to have to walk home."

I saw Jake slightly glance at Sean and he suddenly stood up. I turned my head and when I saw who was coming towards us, well it was more like teetering towards us, I did the same thing that he did.

"Samanthaaa!" Sean slurred.

"Oh God," I mumbled.

"Looks like you might be walking home after all," Jake whispered.

I lightly slapped his arm, remembering what happened the last time I actually did it with some force behind it.

Once Sean reached us I felt embarrassed, "Why tha heeell are youuu grabbing mah gurlfriend that way!"

Jake laughed softly and I stood in front of the two of them so that they wouldn't dare to fight each other or do something terrible like that, "Sean just stop it! He wasn't grabbing me in any way!"

"I saw him…t-touch you," he tried to point at Jacob, but it didn't exactly work.

"You're wasted how can you see anything right now!" I put both of my hands on either of his shoulders.

His eyes were completely bloodshot and I could smell the alcohol on his breath, "This betteeer nooot bee that P-Paul duuude," the words barely even came out right.

"Jake just go," I looked at him over my shoulder, "He's going to think you're Paul."

"No, I'm not going to leave you here alone with this guy."

"I'm huur boyfriend!" he shouted.

I sighed, "I can handle it, ok?"

His eyes flashed between me and Sean and I knew that he didn't want to leave me here.

"Please Jake, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't think it's me who's going to get hurt here," just then he started to tremble.

"Ugh, just leave Jake! I'll be fine!" I yelled at him, which I didn't intend on doing…not at all…

His eyes narrowed at me and his hands clenched into fists and just as he was about to say something, someone else beat him to the punch, "Jake, I'll take care of it," all of our eyes went to Paul.

Jacob shook his head at him and I turned my gaze down to my feet as I held up Sean.

"Go Jake," Paul demanded now.

I wanted to shout at him, saying that Jake could stay as long as he left. I'd rather have Jacob helping me…

Jake glanced at me once more, his lips quivering, before he walked off towards the other guys. I couldn't believe that I was left here alone with Paul and my drunken boyfriend.

"Paauul!" Sean screamed, "You're P-Paul!"

I shut my eyes and shook my head for a minute, "I don't need your help."

He didn't respond, but he didn't leave either. I looked up at his face and he looked at mine, "How are you going to get home then?"

Crap, I didn't think about that. And now I'm basically screwed because I can't say that I'll drive home. If only Sean didn't drive a stick shift.

"I'll find a way," I muttered.

"Can't you just let me help you?" he asked.

"No," I turned my attention back to Sean, "Where are your keys?" I said.

"I'm drivvving," he grinned, "I'll be oook."

"Give me your keys Sean," I demanded.

"Noo! I'm driving!"

Paul stayed silent while I tried to come up with some way to get his keys from him. I cursed to myself as soon as the worst thought came into my mind, but it's the only option I have at this point. I glanced over my shoulder and it didn't take him long to understand what I wanted him to do.

He lifted Sean off of my shoulder and in a matter of seconds he somehow got the keys away from Sean. I blinked in confusion. Paul half smiled.

"Good, now give me them," I tried to snatch them out of his hands, but he pulled them out of my reach.

"I'll drive," he insisted.

"I don't know if I want you driving me home. It'd just give you more time to torture me."

He grimaced, "I don't want to torture you."

I chuckled without humor, "Too late."

He shook his head and both of us basically just ignored Sean's presence for the time being, "Please just let me drive you home at least."

"Why? Why should I give you a chance? You don't deserve one, not after what you did to me."

He paused, "I just want to make sure you're ok, Sammy."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He wanted me to be safe? How could he say that when he completely abandoned me three years ago, "I'm fine Paul! God, you're such a hypocrite!"

I could tell that I hurt him just then by the way his expression changed, "Please," he pleaded now.

I couldn't help but feel bad about what I said to him. I don't know why I felt bad, but I just did, "Ok," I replied. I shook my head, "You make no sense at all."

"I know," he mumbled as he slung Sean's arm over his shoulder and, with no effort at all, led him to our car. I kept my eyes on him as he easily slipped Sean into the back seat and I quickly got into the passenger's side, watching Paul as he started the car. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and backed out of the parking space.

After I told Paul where our house was, no one spoke except for the constant mumbles of Sean in the back seat. The only thing I could concentrate on right now though was Paul. I felt like I should be angry right now, furious even. But for some reason, I don't.

"Why are you helping me?" the words came out of my mouth so quickly that I barely even realized that I said something. Not until his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"I want to," he answered simply.

"But why do you want to?" I shook my head, "I don't understand why you would want to help me after you made it clear to me that you don't care anymore."

"I do care though," he whispered to himself, probably expecting me not to hear it but I did.

"This doesn't make sense, Paul," I admitted.

"I know," he sighed, "But if you gave me a chance to explain than it would."

I turned my head towards him and he did the same, "I don't know-"

"I never wanted to hurt you, Sammy," he interrupted me, "Just know that."

"If you never wanted to than why did you?" I tried to wrap my mind around what he was saying to me.

"It's hard to explain everything right now," he looked at Sean in the back seat.

"Why?"

He flinched, "You wouldn't understand part of it."

"Try me," I challenged.

"Sammy," he took a deep breath, "Hurting you was something I never intended on doing. Let's just say I thought I had no choice at the time, but in the end I realized that I did," he snarled through clenched teeth, "It was a big mistake."

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked out the window now while I tried to fathom all of this. He didn't intend on hurting me…and it was a big mistake. What am I supposed to think?

Suddenly, the car came to a stop and I found myself wanting to ask him more questions so that I could figure out what he meant exactly, "Will you explain everything to me another time?" I turned towards him.

He looked at me with a hopeful expression on his face, "Almost everything."

I'm not sure what he meant by that, but I'd take almost everything over nothing at all. I nodded my head in agreement and we both got out of the car, Paul helping Sean up the steps while I opened the door for them.

"Thanks," I said, quietly as Paul put Sean on the couch. I couldn't quite understand why Paul was being so generous to Sean, but I was thinking that maybe he just did it for my sake.

"No problem," he grinned.

We walked towards the door silently, me with my head down and Paul with his eyes never looking away from me. I slowly reached my hand towards the knob, but I didn't fully open it as I turned in his direction.

"You know I feel more confused now than I ever have before," I said.

He bobbed his head up and down.

I raised my head and looked him straight in the eye, "It isn't easy for me to let my guard down after what you did, but I am. For some crazy reason I am. Just please, don't make me regret this decision."

"I promise you I won't. Just say the word and I'll be there to explain."

"When I'm ready," I added.

"When you're ready," he agreed.

I nodded my head and finally opened the door. He slowly stepped out of the house and onto the porch and just when I thought he was going to leave he turned around to say something, "Just for the record," I gave him my full attention, "You're still the most talented person that I know," he smiled one more time at me before he walked down the steps and headed left.

I waited until he disappeared down the sidewalk and then I went back inside. I couldn't say that I was forgiving him or anything like that. I just wanted to know why he did what he did because apparently he never really meant to hurt me like he did.

**tell me what you think of it! :D**


	18. 17 Sammy the Coward

**YAY!! i finally updated! :D**

**i'm sorry i didn't update sooner...i was going to last night but i went to see halloween 2 so that messed with my brain and if i wrote this after that then i probably would've ended up making Sammy kill Sean (i don't think you guys would've minded that though haha)**

**so here it is!**

**i really enjoyed writing this...it was very fun and i'm sorry if there's mistakes but peoples are coming over like now so i didn't get around to fixing my mistakes haha i am so dedicated to this story that i finished this last minute! woot woot! **

**ENJOY!**

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_Y__ou can go  
You can start all over again  
You can try to find a way to make another day go by  
You can hide  
Hold all your feelings inside  
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry_

_And maybe someday we'll figure all this out  
Try to put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to make things better now that  
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow, someday_

_**Someday, Rob Thomas**_

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Chapter 17

Sammy the Coward

Forgiveness takes courage. Giving someone another chance takes even more courage. I might as well be called a coward since I can't do any of that. Sammy the coward…its funny how well that fits together. But maybe if things were different, if Paul didn't break my heart, then I'd be able to forgive him. God only knows that the old Sammy would. The new Sammy –the one who's confused and messed up- doesn't really want to let him have this chance. I can't find it in myself to call him and ask him if he could explain to me what's really going on because I feel like I'm the one who's going to end up hurt in the long run, as if I haven't been hurt enough already.

I heard a loud groan coming from the bedroom and I huffed in frustration. Of course I didn't sleep in my own bed last night, as if I wanted to lie on my soft pillow. No, that would be way too comfortable for me. But the couch was inviting in a way. A sort of haven for me to stay awake and sort things through, things that I shouldn't have to sort through. Of course I want to know Paul's reasoning for ripping my heart out. I mean maybe I should call him today, just so I can get some closure on all of this…Yeah, closure. That's all I want.

Booming footsteps came down the stairs and I put on the best mad face I could manage for now. A little discussion about last night wouldn't hurt anything…maybe.

"Hey babe," Sean spoke in a quivering voice.

Once he appeared in the living room and saw the look on my face –I'm surprised that I made my face look that convincing- he immediately sat down on one of the chairs across from me. I took a good look at his now hung-over face and began my _discussion._

"What the hell were you thinking, Sean?" I scowled, "Not only did you get completely wasted last night, but you also didn't take into consideration any affect it would have on me!" I shouted, feeling every nerve inside of me bubbling with anger.

His glossy eyes peered up at me, "I'm sorry," he nearly whispered.

"Bull shit, Sean. Do you know what I had to do to get you home last night? Do you remember any part of that at all?!" Do I want him to remember who took us home though?

He shut his eyes tight and I wondered if I was giving him a headache. Good, he deserves it, "Not really…" his voice trailed off.

I stood up from where I was sitting and crossed my arms over my chest, giving the full affect to my rampage/discussion, "You are so inconsiderate! How do you expect me to trust you and love you if you can't even stay sober long enough to take my feelings into consideration?!" my blood was boiling now.

He put his face in his hands while I just stared at him, "I'm sorry," he said again, "I love you, Sammy."

"No you don't," I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes now, "You wouldn't have done that to me if you loved me, Sean," and then it hit me. It was like a punch right into my gut. Paul, Sean, it was all the same. I couldn't believe that I was going through this again. It's not enough that I had to get my heart broken once, but twice? No…I couldn't go through the hurt again. Right now, I wouldn't be able to fathom the fact that even Sean didn't care now.

"I have to go," I muttered, wiping my cheeks, "I can't do this right now."

He finally looked up, "Please-,"

"No, Sean," I closed my eyes, "I really can't…not this…not now," the words didn't make sense, but I couldn't bear to say anything else.

The next thing I knew, I was grabbing my car keys and my coat and heading for the door. I didn't forget to slam it behind me. As I headed down the steps, I could feel tears trickling down both of my cheeks. My chest hurt like hell, so I wrapped my arms around my torso. I was falling apart. As if I wasn't already broken enough.

I managed to make it into the car in one piece, but I didn't dare to start the car. I just let my head fall down onto the steering wheel and sobbed. And then I heard it, I heard every word in my head. Every syllable was spoken slowly.

"_I don't love you," _Paul said to me.

I felt my heart stutter like it was ready to stop beating. That's how I felt too, like I should just stop breathing and let my heart rest in peace.

"_I thought you wanted to try."_

I tried to make the flashback stop so I wouldn't have to hear the next part, but it wouldn't.

"_I didn't mean it,"_ I flinched, _"I didn't mean…any of it." _

"_I don't understand, I thought everything was fine between us."_

I saw it in his eyes. He was giving up on me, on everything that we were, _"I don't love you."_

I laid my head back onto the seat and put my face into my hands, shaking my head from side to side. It didn't matter to me that I was still sitting out in front of the house. The only reason why I got into the car was to escape the pain, but it seems like it caught up with me.

Every part of me hurt at this point. I swore to myself that I wouldn't do this, that I'd moved on and I didn't need to dwell on the past. But it haunts me every day because I think about him. I don't know why I can't just let him go. Why do I put myself through all of this?

Maybe, it's crazy, but maybe it's because he's someone I don't want to let go of. My eyes fluttered open and I stared out the window. Or maybe it's just me holding onto the old Paul, the Paul that actually loved me. I don't think the old Paul's going to come back though. So, why am I hoping for something that'll never happen?

"Cause you're a mess," I mumbled to myself.

I turned my head and looked out of the passenger side window. No way was I going back into that house. I couldn't face him knowing now that he didn't care. As I put my keys into the ignition I breathed deeply through my nose so I could calm myself down. I didn't know where I would end up, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get away.

So I drove and waited until I found the right place. It didn't take me long to find that place though. When I saw the huge black fence and all the gravestones I knew. I needed to pay her a visit because I owed her that much.

As I pulled into the cemetery I searched for the right area where her grave was. It'd be enough for me to just talk to a piece of stone because it was connected to her, my mother. I bit my lip and stopped the car. It took me a minute before I was able to find the strength to get out of the car.

I had almost forgotten that I was still wearing my pajamas and my hair was still a mess. I looked all around me, no one was going to see me so who cares.

My eyes tried to locate the grave that read Victoria Hobson on it. I trudged through the grass and glanced at every stone, looking at each of the dates. Some of the dates weren't far apart from each other while others seemed like a good life span. When I finally found the right one I stopped and stared down at it. This was one of the life spans that I considered completely unfair because it was too short.

I sat down in front of the stone and traced my fingers over the engraved writing while I tried to find my voice. My throat felt scratchy and I tried to clear it so I could speak.

"I miss you," I whispered, "Everyday."

My eyebrows furrowed and as I inhaled deeply I shut my eyes lightly, imagining that she was sitting in front of me instead of lying in the ground beneath me.

"I feel so broken mom," I admitted, "I don't know what to do anymore."

Even though there was no response I guessed what she would've said if she were here. It would be something wise. I attempted to picture what she'd look like now. Smiling, I hoped. Her brown eyes glistening in the sunlight and her dark curly hair that I inherited from her slightly touching her shoulders.

I continued, "He says he never wanted to hurt me," I paused, "I just don't know if I can believe him though," my voice cracked.

The wind started blowing in my face, causing my hair to move wildly along with it.

"I guess I don't want to risk getting hurt again. God only knows that I'm a mess," I half smiled, my eyes still closed and the mental image of her still etched into my brain, "I just wish that things could go back to the way they were. I know it's never going to happen, but I still hope."

A huge roar of thunder made me jump and I finally opened my eyes to look at the gravestone again, "I feel like a part of me still wants to be with him," I shook my head, "It's stupid, but it's true."

As I felt a single teardrop roll down my face, I also felt raindrops starting to fall. I wanted this to last longer. It wasn't fair that I couldn't even talk to my mom when other people could. I had to talk to her grave.

I stood up when I saw the nearly black rain clouds heading towards me, looking down at the grave one more time.

"I love you mom," I said.

And that was it. There was nothing, no voice to say I love you back. It was just me and the small piece of stone.

I turned around and headed for my car, glancing over my shoulder a couple of times before I finally reached it. Again, I didn't start the engine, but I should've because the next thing I knew there was rain and it was coming down hard. I pulled my legs up close to my chest and laid my cheek onto my knees.

_Now what?_ I asked myself. There was nowhere else that I could go to escape. Work, but I didn't have to be back until seven and it was still the morning, hence the reason why I'm sitting here in old, baggy clothing. I could call him. I shuddered; no I can't call him, not now. But he says that he can explain. Ugh, is he telling the truth though?

As my brain argued with itself, I weighed out the good and the bad things that could happen. Well one good thing is that I would have some questions answered. One bad thing is having to take that one terrible risk.

So, should I or shouldn't I?

I reached into my coat pocket and flipped my phone open. I hesitated to go into my contacts list, but eventually I did and when I reached Paul's name I let my finger linger over the OK button.

"Don't be a coward," I mumbled and finally pressed OK.

Every time the phone rang my mind kept telling me this was a bad idea and that I shouldn't have done this. Well there was no turning back now.

When he finally picked up my heart started beating faster. What am I supposed to say to him?

"Hey," he said, the tone of his voice indicating that he knew it was me.

"I'm ready," I exhaled loudly, realizing that I was holding my breath the whole time the phone was ringing.

"Can you come over?" he asked.

My eyes widened, "To your h-house?" I stuttered.

I heard him chuckle softly, "Yeah. It's a different address."

He doesn't live with his mom anymore? Well that was slightly unexpected…

As soon as he gave me the correct address I started to drive again, my mind still trying to wrap around the fact that he lives alone. When I got there, I was surprised by what I saw. The house was small and red with white windows, and the front yard was completely spotless, something I didn't expect. The lights were on in every room and the front door was open, the only thing separating the outside from the inside of the house was the small screen door.

I slowly stepped out of my car without taking my eyes off of the house. As I walked towards it I contemplated what I was going to say to him. What can I ask him?

It took every single part of me to take the first step onto the porch and even though I didn't think I was making that much noise, Paul's tall and dark figure appeared in that one small doorway. He opened the screen door and gestured for me to come inside. I stared at his russet face for a second before my feet were finally able to move.

When I stepped inside, I was completely set back by the house's appearance. It was clean, something Paul never used to be, and warm and cozy and all of the furniture actually matched something Paul's old furniture never did.

"You live alone now?" I asked, my lips trembling from the cold rain.

He shrugged one shoulder, "It's just me and Jared."

Jared. I should've known. Just because Jared and my friendship didn't last doesn't mean Paul and Jared's didn't.

"It's nice," I felt my teeth chatter. Paul noticed this, so he immediately grabbed a blanket off of the small couch and wrapped it around my shoulders, "Thanks," I said.

He smiled at me and we both sat down on the couch. I stared down at my penguin sweatpants and blushed. Wow, just great, this is supposed to be a serious conversation we're having and I look like a five year old.

I kept my eyes on my sweatpants and I could basically feel Paul's stare burning through me.

"So," I started.

"I believe you came here for some answers," he finished my sentence for me.

I nodded and hesitated to say something, "You said to me that hurting me was something you never intended on doing and something you didn't want to do," I finally managed to look at him, "So why did you do it then?"

He pressed his lips together and looked at my face like he was searching for an answer, a good one I hope, "I told you I could explain almost everything," he reminded me.

"Well can't you just tell me…bits and pieces?"

He sighed, "I guess I'll have to," there was a long moment of silence and I wondered if he was going to say forget it, I'm not going to tell you anything. But he surprised me when he looked at me again and answered, "I didn't have a choice at first," he explained, "He told me if I didn't…" he paused, "Then I'd have to break up with you."

There was something he left out, I could tell, "If you didn't what?"

He shook his head, "I can't say it."

"Yes you can, Paul. Please, I need to know," I pleaded.

"You wouldn't understand, Sammy," my heart jumped when he said my name.

"Then at least tell me who he is," I sighed in defeat. Another long moment of silence told me that this question wasn't going to be answered either, "Fine," I said, "If I won't understand then I'll just leave. God, I don't understand why I felt like I could trust you enough to answer my questions!"

I stood up and put the blanket back onto the couch and before I could start to walk away, Paul's blazing hot, and I mean _blazing_, hot hand grabbed my wrist.

"You can trust me."

"No, I can't, Paul," I turned towards him, "Not anymore. I trusted you before and you betrayed me. I trusted you to not hurt me and that's exactly what you did. I loved you with every fiber of my being and you just," I couldn't find a word strong enough to describe how I feel, "Tore my heart out. It hurts Paul," I looked down at the ground, "I don't want to go through that ever again."

His warm hand slid down to my hand and he interlaced our fingers together, "I won't put you through that ever again. It was a big mistake. And I know I can never take back what I did to you, but I can make up for it."

I shook my head in denial, "I don't know if there's any way to make up for it."

"Then I'll just have to try," he whispered, his face only inches away from mine, "But please, Sammy. Don't give up on me."

I looked into his eyes and I saw something I didn't expect to see in them. He looked like he was about to burst out into tears. And at that moment I felt like he felt the same pain I was feeling.

"I never gave up on you, Paul. You did, but I didn't," I took my free hand and grabbed his arm, making him pull his hand out of mine.

I dropped my gaze once again, no longer able to see the pain in his eyes.

"I love you, Sammy," he admitted, "I've always loved you and I'm sorry for everything. Please, just give me another chance."

I closed my eyes. He didn't just say that, did he?

"I want to believe you so badly, but I just…can't. I'm not going to forgive you right now because I'm not ready. I loved you too, but you broke my heart. How can I believe that you're not just messing with my head right now?"

"Because you know me. You know I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know the old Paul never would've done that, but you've changed into someone I don't recognize," I said.

He shut his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows, "I can't say that's not true because it is. In some ways I have changed, but everything I felt for you hasn't, the feeling's only grown stronger."

I paused, "You're making this so hard, Paul," I whispered.

He put his hand on my cheek and the heat of his skin immediately warmed me. I didn't feel like asking him about the warmth because I was too caught up in everything else that was going on to even care.

"I'll try to make it easier."

I bit down on my lower lip, "How?"

"By showing you how much I do care about you and prove you wrong."

I barely managed to grin, "It hurts," I blurted out.

"I know," his thumb stroked my cheek, "Just don't give up on me," he repeated.

"I don't think I have a choice at this point."

He chuckled and I actually smiled. It's weird to think that I haven't smiled like this in a while. Well at least not when I was around him.

Sammy the coward is going to give him his chance to prove me wrong. It'll be hard, but I've got tough skin.

**THE END!!!!**

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**..................until the next chapter....hehehehehehehehe **

**REVIEW!**


	19. 18 Mr Sandman

**yes! finally it's working again!!! i thought i was going to go insane!!! it wouldn't let me add my chapter and i worked on this for 3 hours!!**

**well at least i'm posting it now hehe **

**this chapter is going to be dedicated to my new baby cousin Nathan. He was born September 4th (yes while i was typing this up) and he's very cute lol so this chapter's for him :)**

**hope you like this!!!  
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_Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking_

_When you fall everyone stands_

_Another day and you've had your fill of sinking_

_With the life held in your_

_Hands are shaking cold_

_These hands are meant to hold_

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong_

_Move along, move along like I know you do_

_And even when your hope is gone_

_Move along, move along just to make it through_

_Move along_

_**Move Along, The All-American Rejects**_

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Chapter 18

Mr. Sandman

_I stood at what looked like some sort of intersection to me. And I didn't know why, but it seemed so familiar. It was dark; the only sign of light was the street light hanging above me. I stared out in front of me just wondering what I was doing here and if this was even real. I took a couple steps to my right; my eyes darting towards a red stop sign for some odd reason while a car came driving towards me. It seemed to be going fast, faster than it should be going. It was also swerving back and forth._

_The bright lights of another car caused me to squint and spun my head around in its direction. And as soon as I saw the familiar silver BMW my eyes went wide. I started to go into panic mode when I saw my mother in the driver's seat and my initial reaction was to jump out in the middle of the road to make her stop, but my legs wouldn't move. I tried to scream, but no noise came out of my mouth. As her car inched towards her fate, I looked back at the other car._

_It quickly sped through the stop sign and I caught a glimpse of my mother's killer. It was a face that I would never forget, round and chubby with those horrible bloodshot eyes and a layer of stubble on his chin. So I stood there, helpless and unable to warn my mom for what was to come. My eyes wouldn't even close so that I wouldn't be able to see the accident. _

_And everything seemed to move in slow motion and when the two cars collided I saw my mother's face for the last time._

"Mom!" my eyes quickly opened and as soon as I realized that it was all a dream, I cried. I dug my head into my pillow and punched it multiple times, "Why her?!" I shouted once, slamming my fist into the pillow again and again until I felt like it had been beaten enough.

I wiped away the sweat that was now on my forehead and put my hands over my eyes as I flipped myself onto my back. Out of all the days that I could have this nightmare it had to be today. But it's strange how I would have it now when I haven't had it in years. And it was the exact same thing too, me standing there, watching my mother's death as it unfolded. Me, catching a glimpse of the intoxicated driver who killed my mom. No, I wasn't actually there the day she died, but I guess you could say that's what I believed happened.

I slowly brought my hands away from my face so my eyes could get used to the brightness of the rare sunlight that came through my window and stumbled out of bed, realizing that I was alone. I guess you could say I didn't care where Sean was right now. He's the one who made the mistake so whenever he wants to make up for it he surely can try…but I probably won't accept any apologies anytime soon.

My feet carried me to my desk and I opened the drawer, taking out my sketch book and pencils so I could draw a little bit. Without any thought as to where I was going I headed out of my room and down the stairs, running my hand through my hair a couple of times to make it look a quarter of the way decent.

I stopped once I reached the living room, my eyes darting in each and every direction, seeing no sign of him. Good.

I walked out the door and sat down on the porch, figuring that I would soak up the sun while it lasted, which I knew it wouldn't. My fingers flipped through the pages of each and every drawing I've ever done and I stopped at the one of Paul. My mind started telling me that I should keep flipping, but my heart just wanted to stay on this page. I wanted to find out what was going on with him and see if he's going to be able to prove me wrong. Maybe I'm being stupid for giving him a second chance. But love doesn't usually make sense.

I knitted my brows together and pursed my lips. Love…did I really think that this was love?

My head shook and I laughed, "No, it can't be," I flipped to an empty page and tried to come up with something that I could draw, "Why would I love him now?" I muttered.

Just as I was about to answer my own question in my head, a familiar car pulled up in front of my house, a Volkswagen Rabbit to be exact. My lips pulled up into a small smile as Jacob got out of the car.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not that I minded.

He grinned cheekily, "I'm here to take you out."

"Out?" I raised one eyebrow.

He nodded and spread his arms out, "It's a beautiful day so why waste it."

I chuckled and stared down at the white sheet of paper again my thoughts completely somewhere else at the moment. Jake sat on the steps beside me at stared at my sketch book with me.

"Whatcha drawing?" he nudged me with his elbow.

"Not sure yet," I admitted, a whole bunch of things running through my mind, "I can't think of anything right now."

"Well let's see," he sighed loudly and put his hand on his chin, rubbing it like he was thinking hard.

"Don't think too hard," I said, adding a small laugh at the end, "I know I am," I mumbled in hopes that he wouldn't hear that little comment.

Jake immediately stopped what he was doing and out of the corner of my eye I could tell that his face became serious. Damn me and my big mouth to hell, "Wanna talk about it?"

"I'd rather not," I closed my book, figuring that there was no way that I'd be able to get anything done now, "It's hard to talk about it," but on the other hand he has gone through the same thing. So maybe I should just get it off of my chest.

"You can trust me, you know that right?"

I nodded, "I know," I breathed and looked up at the sky. It surprised me when I only saw one small cloud floating past us, "Fine, I'll say it just don't think I'm weird or anything, ok?" I looked at his face.

"Ok," he half smiled.

I took a deep breath and let the words spill out, "After my mom died I began to have these nightmares about what happened when she died," I felt a small jab of pain at my heart, "I'd be standing there at an intersection and I'd see this car heading quickly towards a stop sign," I paused, "Then I'd see my mother's car," images started flashing in my head, "And I tried to warn her to let her know what she was heading for, but nothing worked. So, I sat there and watched as the ugly guy drove right through the stop sign and hit my mom's car. Then it would be over and I would wake up," I glanced at Jacob out of the corner of my eye, he seemed to be absorbing the information I was giving him, "It used to happen every night, but I haven't dreamt about it in years…well at least not until last night…" my voice trailed off and I felt my eyes starting to swell with tears.

"Hey," Jake wrapped one arm around my shoulder, "It's ok, Sammy."

"I can't stop thinking about her. I just miss her so badly, Jake."

He pulled me closer to him and I laid my head up against his arm, "I know, but you've gotta believe that she's out there somewhere and that she's somewhere better."

"I try," I barely whispered, "But I can't. It's not fair."

"Life isn't usually fair," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"You got that right," I wiped the corners of my eyes, "Geeze I'm so messed up, it's not even funny."

"Believe me, I'm messed up too. We're both pretty much the same."

"Yeah," I agreed, "We're a messed up pair."

"The coolest messed up pair."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Leave it to Jacob to make me feel better about a totally shitty situation.

"So, I guess maybe now's not the time to ask you if you wanted to go cliff diving with me, huh?"

I was set back by his assumption, "Not the time? Actually, it's the perfect time considering the fact that I don't want to mope around all day and think about my mother and Sean and all the crappy things in my life."

"So you're saying you want to go cliff diving?" he looked me in the eye to make sure that I was telling him the truth.

"Definitely, I'm up for anything at this point."

"And you do realize that cliff diving isn't something you can take lightly? There are risks you know," he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes dramatically, "Do I really seem like the type of girl who doesn't like taking risks?"

His expression lightened, "Point proven," he said simply.

"Let's go then," I stood up and opened the door, "I'll be out in a minute I just need something that I can get wet in," also known as a swimsuit.

I hurriedly ran up the stairs and dug through my drawer until I finally found what I needed. Then I quickly headed into the bathroom and changed, putting on a tank top and some shorts over my swimsuit. I put my dark hair up into a ponytail before I grabbed a few things and threw them into a bag. It took me all of five minutes until I was finally done.

When I got outside Jacob was leaning up against his car with a big smile on his face. I ran down the porch steps and got into the passenger's side, remembering to wear my seatbelt and slightly shuddering when it reminded me of…well…that thing…

"Do you mind if a couple of my friends come along? I promise I'll keep them in line."

"The more the merrier," I said, "I just hope they know who they're getting into the car with, you know with us being messed up and all," I glanced at him and slightly smirked.

"Hopefully they're prepared. They're pretty messed up too in their own sort of way," he smiled as he started the car and we soon headed down the road, towards whoever's house we were going to.

On the way there Jake and I jammed to some awesome rock songs, head banging and all. I know we're nerds, but frankly we can't help it.

When we pulled up to Embry's house Jake honked the horn, indicating that we were obviously here. It took him about two minutes to finally get his butt out of the door and into the car. And thankfully he wasn't surprised to see me in the car which meant that he knew that I was probably coming prior to this moment. The next thing I knew we were at Quil's house and heading on our way to the beach, once again jamming the whole way there to some Bon Jovi songs.

I felt completely at ease right now and I hoped that nothing would ruin this one chance I had to not think about all the bad things going on. I wouldn't dare to ruin this day.

Once we got to the beach we took all of our stuff and set it up on the beach and basically what I mean by stuff is some beach towels and well…by the looks of it…six sandwiches.

"Embry what the hell?" I questioned.

He looked up at me and grinned, "What? I didn't eat at all today! Leave me alone!"

"Ok I doubt you could eat all of those," I didn't think he could actually do it, "You can't be _that _hungry!"

"Wanna bet?" he raised one eyebrow at me and stuffed one whole sandwich in his mouth right at that moment followed by another and another and another.

"Wow, just wow," I shook my head back and forth, putting my hand over my mouth so that I wouldn't laugh, "And I thought I was a pig."

Jacob hit Embry on the back of his head, causing Embry to spit out half of his sandwich on Quil who basically gave Embry the death glare.

He didn't really seem to notice though, "Dude! You just wasted one perfectly good sandwich!"

"You'll get over it," Jake rolled his eyes.

"Tell that to my stomach," he said as he stood up.

I started giggling as I watched Quil grab Embry's ankle and tug on it which caused Embry to fall flat on his face.

The three of us burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Eat sand!" Quil exclaimed.

My stomach started hurting and my eyes started to water from how hard I was laughing and really I don't remember when the last time I laughed this hard was.

Embry finally stood up and brushed the sand off of himself, rolling his eyes at us, "Ha ha very funny, you guys are sooo hilarious."

"Hey Embry?"

"Yeah?" he looked at me.

"You got sand stuck in your hair," we all started laughing again as he reached his hand up and started shaking it out of his hair.

He seemed frustrated, but that frustration didn't seem to last for too long, "Ok, so are we cliff diving or what? I didn't come here so I could sit and be ridiculed by you losers."

"Oh we're the losers?" Jake questioned.

"Yep," he said, popping his "p", "You are."

"Sorry we're not as cool as you are Mr. Sandman," I added. Embry glared at me, "Kidding, kidding!" I stood up and took my shirt and my shorts off, "Let's go."

The rest of them stood up and took their shirts off, revealing too much muscle for one girl to handle. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help it, I have needs too you know…

I turned my gaze to the cliffs we were now heading for and my lips pulled up into a smile. My heart started racing in my chest as we got closer and closer to the top and I started feeling anxious when Jake told me we were almost there.

When we finally managed to reach the top I daringly glanced over the edge, realizing now more than ever how high it was and feeling nothing but even more anxious to jump.

"Scared?" Jake asked me.

"Nope," I replied, "Excited actually."

"Well since you guys like taking your sweet time I'm jumping now, bye bye," Embry quickly said before he flung himself off the cliff and into the deep depths below.

"I'm leaving!" Quil followed after Embry doing a flip to show off on his way down.

I took a step closer to the edge and Jake followed my movement. My feet lingered on the edge of the cliff and I leaned forward a bit, feeling the wind ripping through me. Just as I was starting to feel unsteady Jake grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"Be careful," he warned.

"I'm fine Jake," I said as I stared down, looking at Embry and Quil as they swam around at the bottom, probably thinking that I was chickening out when in reality I was only taking all of this in.

"You go first," Jake insisted, "I'll guide you through it."

I nodded my head and closed my eyes for a second, taking in a couple deep breaths. He loosened his grip on my hand.

"Think of this as a way to relieve all of that stress, hurt, and anger your feeling," he suggested.

I bobbed my head up and down again in response, my foot inching towards the edge again. I took another breath in and thought about everything bad that I wanted to get rid of. The pain I felt when my mother died, the anger I feel whenever Sean does something stupid, and the hurt I felt when Paul broke up with me. Not to mention the confusion that he placed upon me now.

"Jake?" I opened my eyes again and turned my head towards him. He looked at me with worry in his eyes, like he thought that this would be too much for me, "Can you jump with me?"

He stood there for a moment and didn't react, but then he grinned and nodded, his grip tightening on my hand. He took a couple steps backward and I did the same since we needed a little bit of a running start.

"On the count of three," he said, "One…Two…Three."

I kept my eyes closed as we ran towards the edge and flung ourselves off the cliff. As we fell I couldn't feel anything else but complete and utter bliss. It was such a free feeling that I didn't want to end and when we plunged into the water, I just wanted to do it over and over again to feel that rush of adrenaline pulse through my body. Jake kept his hand in mine and led me towards the surface of the water and when we came up I smiled from ear to ear.

Jake looked at me, "So? What did you think?"

"I'm thinking that I want to do that a million more times!" I exclaimed happily. I can't even put into words how happy and calm I feel right now.

"Then let's do it a million times more," he started leading us back towards the shore and sure enough we dived about ten more times. Half of the time I did it with Jake and then I finally built up enough courage to go by myself the other half of the time. All in all it was probably one of the best days I've had here since I moved back. The one day where I chose to think about everything good in my life instead of everything that's bad. Like Jake, Quil, and even Embry. Friends that I can rely on and people that I care about and people that care about me just as much.

I laid my head down onto the beach towel and sighed, "That was probably the most fun thing I've ever done."

Jake laid down next to me, along with Embry and Quil, and put his hands behind his back, "Best day ever!" he commented.

I chuckled, "True that!"

"Who knew Sammy could be sooo daring," Embry added.

"Daring? Really? It doesn't take much to jump off a cliff, Embry."

"Most people don't jump off the top though."

"Well you guys seem to have no problem doing it," I pointed out.

"That's because we're awesome!" Quil shouted.

I rolled my eyes, "Big ego much?"

"Maybe," he wriggled his eyebrows.

Suddenly, Jacob sat up and stiffened. And it didn't take long for Quil and Embry to do the same exact thing. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as all three of them started sniffing the air like they were dogs or something.

"What is it boy?" I kidded.

They ignored me and stood in front of me like they were guarding me from something…creepy.

"This is not possible," Jacob whispered.

"What's not possible?" I stood up. Once again I was ignored.

"Let's get out of here," Jacob finally looked at me with the strangest look on his face. I barely even recognized him.

"Wait, why?!" I asked.

"Get your stuff," he demanded.

I did as he said and put my clothes back on over my swimsuit and he soon grabbed my arm and dragged me in the direction of his car. I felt frustrated at this point because I did not appreciate being bossed around.

"Stop Jake!" I stopped walking and tugged at his arm. He turned his head around and looked at me, "You better tell me what's going on or I'll…I'll…" I tried to come up with a good enough threat, "Bite you!" and that's how badly my brain works under pressure.

He sighed loudly, "Trust me, please?" his eyes pleaded.

"No! Tell me what's going on!"

He closed his eyes, "We don't have much time right now, Sammy. Please, just listen to me for now, ok?"

I pursed my lips and the longer I stared at him the more I wanted to listen to him, "Fine," and then once again he tugged me towards the car. I got into the passenger's side and quickly realized that Quil and Embry weren't with us. My eyes searched for them on the beach, but they weren't there.

"Where's Embry and Quil?" I questioned.

"They're fine," he answered.

I scowled at him, "What the hell is wrong with you right now, Jake? I mean why did you start freaking out all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at-,"

"Sammy," he stopped me mid ramble, "I'm not mad at you. It has nothing to do with you, it's just…" he gripped the steering wheel tight, "Dangerous," and then he started to tremble a little.

"What's dangerous though?" I felt so confused at this point, more confused than I needed to be.

"I…I…can't," he started the car and drove fast, faster than I thought his car could even handle, "I just need to get you safe right now, ok? He'd kill me if I didn't."

"Safe from what?" and who'd kill him?

"Damn it, how could they let them get past the border!" he growled…wait, growled?

I shut my mouth for now since I knew that I wasn't going to get anymore answers out of him. But what could make him, well all three of them, get so angry?

The whole time that he drove to wherever he was taking me, I stared out the window while Jake kept shaking and then not shaking and then talking to himself. Maybe he's more messed up than he led on to be…

It took me about ten minutes until I finally realized that he wasn't taking me home, "Where are we going?"

"Sam and Emily's," he said through gritted teeth.

The name was like nails scratching a chalkboard. Sam, as in Sam Uley's house. Oh joy…

"Why the hell are you taking me there?!" I shouted.

"Because that's the only place I know you'll be safe," he snarled at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. How the hell could one day go from being so good to so damn bad so quickly?

When we pulled up to the house my lip pulled up in disgust.

"Come on," Jacob was already holding the door open for me with my bag in his hand.

I huffed and got out of the car, stomping up towards the house and just standing in front of the door. Jake opened the door and I took one single step in. As soon as I got in though everyone's eyes shot up and looked at me. Great, nothing like being stared at when you're soaking wet.

"Sam!" Jake shouted.

I looked at the wall because I knew people were still staring at me. And it seemed as if everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, was here, including Paul and Jared.

My eyes wandered for a while, while the guys talked about God knows what. They obviously weren't going to tell me what was going on.

"Are you sure?" I heard Sam say.

I made a face and imitated his words while I did it. Finally I set my eyes on Paul. He looked at me like he was worried or scared or I don't even know what else. His hands were formed into fists at his sides while Sam was talking to all of them. I could slightly see that he was shaking, but maybe it was just my eyes playing tricks on me.

After a while of talking and people staring at me, the group of guys started to head for the door. Jared stopped next to who I recognized as Kim and kissed her lightly on the lips. I looked away from them and then I saw Sam and who I assumed was Emily staring at each other in a way that made my heart ache.

I looked down at my feet for a moment, but soon enough there he was.

"Where are you going?" I asked, quietly.

"We have to take care of something," I'm not surprised that he didn't fully answer my question. No one ever fully answers any of my questions nowadays.

I raised my head and looked at him, "Is it bad?"

He knitted his brows together, "Let's hope not."

"So, is it like…your job or something?" wow, I sound really dumb right now.

"You could say that. We're sort of the protectors of La Push."

I nodded, "Police officers then."

He chuckled, "Not exactly."

There was a moment of silence between the two of us and I tried to come up with something to say next. I mean what am I supposed to say, hope you don't die? Don't get shot? Watch out for mobs? Damn this is so confusing…

"Be careful," I said cautiously.

His finger brushed up against my arm and he started stroking my hand with it, "I will be," he breathed.

I saw Sam and Jared run out of the house, but Paul just stayed here and stared at me.

"They need you, Paul," I told him, "Go."

He grabbed a stray strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear. I grinned reassuringly and the next thing I knew, he was out the door and running in the same direction as Jared and Sam. I watched Paul until he disappeared and Jacob mouthed a quick 'I'm sorry' to me before he ran out too. The one thing I happened to notice though is that they were all freaking shirtless. I guess that's what the 'protectors of La Push' wear as a uniform or something? Man do I feel stupid.

I turned my head around and looked at the two women standing in front of me. Both of them in the same situation that I was in, I hope, and both of them with the same questioning look in their eyes. I guess they already know who I am…great…

**oh snap!!! some vamps are in La Push and now Sammy's stuck in a house with Sam's wife (yes wife) **

**next chapter's gonna be a continuation of this so i guess it's fairly appropriate to say**

**  
....to be continued**

**reviews are the reason why i update! *hint hint*  
**


	20. 19 The Mob of Shirtless, Buff Guys

**i know what you're thinking right now...she updated twice in one week?! **

**and i'd just like to say yes, yes i did. I'm just cool like that. And you know what else is cool? This song right down there... yepp backstreet boys. (don't make fun, it was a really fitting song, ok?) **

**well i'd like to thank my history teacher for giving me a test tomorrow because i wouldn't have found this song if i didn't go through a random playlist while i was studying...psh no way...**

**hopefully i won't fail. ha...ha**

**ok soo yeah!!!! the ending will have you screaming like a fangirl! :D or maybe it was just me because i figured out i have to wake up really really early tomorrow :D**

**alright enough crappy, pointless author's notes. scroll down and read it!!**

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_Empty spaces fill me up with holes  
Distant faces with no place left to go  
Without you within me I can't find no rest  
Where I'm going is anybody's guess_

_I tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I've pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete_

_**Incomplete, Backstreet Boys**_

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Chapter 19

The Mob of Shirtless, Buff Guys

You know the uneasy feeling you get when people are looking at you and you feel like you've been exposed in a way? Well that's how I'm feeling right now, like I've been exposed. It's like everything about me has just been sprawled out on the table for Emily and Kim to see. I can tell by the way they're looking at me that they already know who I am. That they've heard the stories and they want answers. Maybe I just won't answer them fully; it seems to be what everyone else does.

"Sit, Sammy," Emily told me. I looked up at her and for the first time I acknowledged the scars on the side of her face and took in Emily's appearance. She was beautiful despite the scars and I couldn't help but feel jealous of her. It didn't take me too much longer for me to notice that she was pregnant. Or at least that's what it looked like…but just in case she isn't I'm not going to question it.

I didn't stare for long as I sat in the seat next to her, Kim sitting across from me. My fingers starting drumming on the table as the silence became more and more awkward as each minute passed. I finally looked at Kim, who just stared at me curiously. Did I really look that bad?

"So, you used to be friends with Jared?" she asked.

I didn't react to her question because I knew things like this were eventually going to be asked. But it took me a while to come up with an answer for that.

"Yeah, I met him in high school," I replied, my voice low.

She nodded her head and finally looked away from me. I spared a quick glance at her since she wasn't looking now.

"I'm sorry," she said, "For what he did. It never should've happened."

I was surprised, to say the least, that she out of all people would be saying sorry to me. So I shrugged casually, "It's not your fault."

"I know, but I feel terrible," she started chewing on her bottom lip.

I grinned, "Well don't," I responded simply, "And just so you know, you're good for him," she looked at me again.

"You think so?"

I nodded, "Seriously, I'm surprised he found you. He had absolutely no game when it came to girls. Good girls, I mean. You're the first girlfriend he's had that can actually spell the word girlfriend…" I narrowed my eyes, "You can spell that word, right?"

She chuckled, "Yes, I'm pretty sure I can."

"Ok, just checking," I smiled wide.

There was a small pause in between our little conversation and I'm the one who decided to ask them a question now.

"So, where do they go when they just run off like that?" my eyes flashed between Emily and Kim.

They both exchanged the same glance and it was Emily who answered me now, "It depends on where the problem is."

I nodded my head, letting that answer slide for now. So obviously they knew something I didn't. Do I really have to be this much out of the loop?

"And they go out and what? Catch murderers?" Murderers…yes that's what I'm guessing because no one feels like telling me the real answer.

"You could say that," Kim shrugged one shoulder.

"Is it really dangerous?" I questioned, my thoughts going back to Jacob, "Jake said it was."

"Well, let's just say that it is in some ways. There are always consequences to going after a…" Emily paused for a slight second, "murderer. But that's what they prepare for."

My mind was blank and suddenly I felt…like an idiot, "Oh," I mumbled, "So, you guys just come here and hang out?" They both nodded, "And does it usually take long?"

"It always depends," Kim grinned.

I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't start screaming out loud. It depends?! It depends on what?! I wanted to scream. Why the hell am I sitting here left in the dark while they get to have flashlights and lanterns?!

Ok…weird metaphor…calm it Sammy.

"Are you guys hungry?" I heard Emily's chair slide against the hardwood floor.

"Yes," I responded immediately so that I would stop thinking about how frustrated I was.

"Any requests?" Emily's eyes went to me.

I thought for a moment, "I'm thinking something sweet," to get these sour thoughts out of my head. She chuckled and headed for the kitchen, "Emily!" I shouted. She looked at me over her shoulder, "Mind if I help?" so I can calm myself down.

"Sure," she smiled appreciatively and I soon got up from where I was sitting and followed after her, Kim doing the same.

I stood at the counter next to Emily while Kim sat at the table because she told us she'd probably burn the house down if she did help. I had to laugh at that because I could totally see that happening.

Emily took out all of the ingredients we needed to make some blueberry muffins, one of my favorites. She gave me the task of adding all the dry ingredients into a separate bowl and I did as I was told since she was the expert according to Kim.

"How many batches are we making?" I asked Emily.

"Five or six," she answered while she cracked the eggs into another bowl.

I looked at the muffin trays and counted how many we could fit into the pan. By the looks of it we were making enough for the whole town.

"Seriously?" I raised one eyebrow, "Sixty muffins?"

"The guys eat a lot," Kim said, "Take your appetite and times it by twenty and that's basically how hungry one of them is."

My eyes widened when I thought about that. And I thought I was a slob. But I guess I should've known considering the fact that Embry downed six sandwiches in one sitting.

"So, where'd you learn how to cook, Sammy?"

I glanced at Emily for a moment and then went back to what I was doing, "My mom," I shuddered, "We used to bake all the time."

She nodded her head without saying a word. Did she know about my mom too? I mean it'd make sense since both of them seem to know what happened with me and Paul.

"I'm sorry," I heard Emily whisper; "Paul told us what happened to her."

How did I know? He can't keep a secret even if he tried, "It's ok. I'm still breathing, right?"

Both of them chuckled and I was glad that I could relieve the tension that was in the air two seconds ago. We went back to baking and finally put the first batch into the oven. While we waited we sat at the kitchen table and began chatting once again.

"How far along are you Emily?" I asked as I looked down at her swollen belly.

"Five months," she smiled, her whole face lighting up as she continued to talk about it, "But man, I swear this one's going to be a soccer player. He, or she, keeps kicking like crazy!"

I laughed, "So you're waiting to find out if it's a girl or a boy then?"

"Yep," she looked down at her stomach and started to rub it lightly, "Sam swears it's a boy."

I bit my tongue so I wouldn't spit at the name. Sure, Emily was nice, but I still despised her husband. I guess I kind of forgot that she was married to him, "We should bet on it," I suggested. The two of them looked at me with a confused look on their faces, so I continued, "I'm guessing it's a boy too," and that's probably the one time I will ever agree with Sam Uley, "So, you guys game?"

"Girl," Kim exclaimed.

"How much are we talking about?" Emily looked at the both of us and we shrugged, "Well this is my baby so I think I'm the one who should decide the amount."

I chuckled, "You're so going to lose, Kim."

She grinned and held out her hand, "Bring it on."

I shook her hand while we waited for Emily to decide on the amount of money. It took her about five minutes until she finally said something, "Twenty bucks. That's all."

I groaned, "Come on Emily! You could go higher!"

"Nope," she shook her head, "Twenty bucks," she repeated, "Take it or leave it."

I narrowed my eyes at Kim and she did the same to me, "Deal," we both said at the same time.

"Ok," Emily agreed, "You two are nuts," she added, "I can't believe I'm letting you bet on my baby."

"It's all for a good cause," I smirked.

"Sure it is."

I placed my hand on the side of Emily's stomach, "You better come out with male parts."

"Sammy!" Emily glared at me.

"What?! I'm just trying to win here!"

At that point we all started laughing with each other. Ok, so I didn't feel like losing twenty bucks. So sue me…

Emily stood up after about five minutes of our laughing attack and checked on the muffins. I looked down at the table and couldn't help but notice a big huge ring sitting pretty on Kim's finger.

My eyes widened in shock and I grabbed Kim's hand quickly, "You're getting married?" I questioned.

She looked at me sheepishly and then at Emily, "Surprise?"

Emily immediately came over to the table and examined the ring that was set on her finger. So I take it that she was just as clueless as I was? Oops…did I ruin it?

"Jared finally got the guts to ask you!" she exclaimed, "I thought he'd never do it!"

My head started spinning when she said the name Jared. Jared the guy that I used to be friends with. Jared the guy who I always thought would be the last one to get married. It was just so surreal. Was I shocked? No, because shocked is an understatement for the way I'm feeling. Angry? No, happy.

… Disappointed? Yeah, maybe a little.

It's not that I'm disappointed that he's getting married. It's just…seeing Emily and Kim with their futures looking better than ever makes me feel like I'm never going to get that. I feel like I'm never going to have a guy to propose to me or say that he loves me. I had that already and I lost it.

"I'm so happy for you, Kim," I blinked a couple of times to bring myself back to reality.

My eyes went back to the ring that was sitting pretty on Kim's finger and I grinned, "Me too," I said, agreeing with Emily's previous statement.

"Thanks," Kim brought her left hand up close to her face and stared at the huge rock and I mean huge. I didn't know Jared could afford such a big ring like that.

I got up from where I was sitting and decided to check on the muffins since I didn't feel like thinking about how much my life sucked at the moment.

"First batch is done," I announced as I took the tray out of the oven and set the next one inside. I felt a single tear trickle down my face as I carefully slipped three muffins out of the tray.

_This is no time to get emotional, suck it up_, I told myself as I brought the three muffins to the table and set them down in front of Kim, Emily, and lastly me.

My eyes just stared at the muffin in front of me as I tried to calm myself down so that I wouldn't cry. I'm so sensitive it's not even funny.

I guess Emily and Kim could sense that something was wrong with me since they were both now staring me down.

"I'm fine," I proclaimed so that they wouldn't make any assumptions.

"You know you can talk to us about this, Sammy," Emily's put her hand on top of mine, "We both know what happened."

"Of course you do," my eyes started to get damp and I groaned at myself for letting it come to this, "Everyone knows."

"It was a mistake on his part."

I snickered, "Yeah, a mistake," I put my face in my hands and shook my head so that I wouldn't start taking this out on them. They didn't do anything.

"He knows what he did was wrong and he wants to make up for it," Kim added.

"Why though? Did he tell you why?" maybe I can get them to answer.

There was a short pause and I took my hands away from my face so I could read their faces. They both just stared at each other.

"No," Emily responded, "But believe me when I say that he cares so much about you, Sammy."

"If he cared then he wouldn't have hurt me," I shouted.

"If he didn't care then he wouldn't be trying so hard, telling you that he loves you and saying he's sorry now would he?" I looked at her skeptically and she went on, "Think about it, Sammy. He wouldn't be asking for your forgiveness or saying that he'll prove you wrong if he didn't want to make up for what he did wrong now would he?"

Of course, she knew everything. He told all of them everything, "Then why did he say those things to me, Emily? Why did he tell me he didn't love me?"

She paused for a moment and looked at the muffin that was sitting in front of her before she answered me, "Because he thought that it was the only way."

"The only way?!" I yelled, feeling my temper getting the best of me, "What do you mean?"

"He thought it was the only way to protect you," she said.

I rolled my eyes, "Protect me? Yeah, I'm sure…"

I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. I didn't want to get mad at them…I mean it wasn't their fault.

"Well if you don't believe me, then at least let me say this," I raised my head and gave her my full attention, "When you left, Paul wasn't himself. He got angry because he was so frustrated with himself and he took his anger out on the rest of the guys. I mean when you looked at him, he looked dead, like he wasn't even alive. Then suddenly one day he starts acting slightly happier and we find out it's because you're back. And even though he knew you were angry with him, we could all see that he was living once again."

I didn't want to believe her, but why would she lie to me? Could Paul really have been that miserable when I was gone? I'd hope not…I mean even though he did hurt me I didn't want him to feel miserable and unhappy too.

"Just think about it," she half smiled at me.

And man did I think about it. The whole rest of the time I was at Emily's house I sat there, nibbling at my muffin and thinking about whether or not I should believe that that was all true. And if it was, then it would make him come closer to proving me wrong.

It was around eight when the guys finally got back. I wondered if that's how long it was always going to be. I mean I didn't mind spending the day with Emily and Kim, they were probably two of the nicest girls I'll ever meet, but if they're out there doing what I think they're doing then I can't help but be worried about them.

I turned my head around as a mob of shirtless, buff, guys piled into the kitchen, each and every one of them grabbing two or three muffins on their way in. I watched as Jared came up to Kim and immediately kissed her on the lips with so much passion and love that I had to just look away from them. Of course, my eyes darted to Paul who was leaning up against the counter, stuffing one whole muffin in his mouth before his eyes met my gaze.

The tingling feeling I got when he did that was completely unexpected, but I couldn't pry my eyes away from him. He was just so…perfect. His dark eyes that I could never seem to dislike even if I wanted to just pierced right through me and I felt like he could suddenly see into me, into my soul. That's when I looked away. That one feeling had me turn my head in the other direction.

But I couldn't escape him for long, since he just decided to sit right next to me. His smile made my heart stutter a little bit and I forced myself to look at something else.

"Did you find anything?" I asked.

"No, unfortunately," he said, "We can't seem to catch them. I don't know why it's so hard, it really shouldn't be since there's only two of them."

"Two?" I looked up.

"Yeah, two," My eyes widened a little bit and Paul's hand was suddenly on top of mine. I shivered from the heat that radiated off of it, "But I kept my promise."

I grinned, "That you did. There's not a scratch on you," I examined him, "I'm impressed."

"You should be," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and felt myself starting to blush. How come he can make me feel embarrassed like this when no one else can? When I glanced over my shoulder I realized that everyone was secretly staring at us. Well they all failed at trying to not make it obvious.

"I should take you home," Paul must've noticed what I noticed.

"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow," I slowly rose up from where I was sitting and smiled at Emily, "Thank you for letting me stay here for the time being. I know I'm a pain."

"Oh, please, I had fun."

I laughed.

"Don't forget about the bet!" Kim reminded me.

"Oh believe me I won't."

Paul started to walk towards the living room and I slowly followed behind.

"What bet?" I heard Jared ask from behind me and I giggled softly to myself.

When we got outside and into his car I stared out of the window and tried to come up with something to say when he started the car.

"So, still have your jeep I see," I pointed out.

"Yep, works like a charm."

I half smiled and the air went silent once again. My thoughts wandered and what Emily said to me kept repeating in my head. It made me wonder if I should just believe that he was telling me the truth. I wanted someone to just help me though, to tell me that I wasn't crazy if I did believe him. Someone like my mom. My head slumped when everything started to pinpoint to her once again.

"What are you thinking about?" Paul suddenly asked me.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, "Nothing."

"No, it's not nothing," he looked at me with a concerned expression on his face, "I can tell something's on your mind."

So he can still read me like an open book, huh?

"You can tell me," he added.

I looked out the windshield for a moment before I turned my head towards him, "I had that dream again. You know the one about my mom," he nodded his head, obviously remembering, "Well I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know why, but lately it's been hitting me really hard and once again I can't believe that she's not here anymore."

Suddenly, his warm hand was on my cheek and he looked at me with sympathy written all over his face, "She'll always be here, in your heart."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I can't convince myself to believe that though. I just wish she was still here physically."

"I know you do," he breathed.

I placed my hand on top of his hand that was placed on my cheek, "Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?"

"Listening," I answered him. I wasn't sure how he was driving, but at this point I really didn't care, "Not telling me I'm crazy, stuff like that."

"I'll always be here to listen to whatever you have to say. And you're not crazy."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I wasn't going to believe the second part. Speaking of believing…

"There's something else," he pointed out, reading me once again. Damn he's good. I couldn't even think about it myself, he totally beat me to the punch.

I intertwined my fingers with his and took his hot hand off of my cheek, "I'm starting to believe you," I admitted, "I don't know why, but I am," damn, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Well, it's way too late now.

He squeezed my hand and when we pulled up to my house I didn't get out of the car right away because I wanted, no I needed to talk to him more.

"I probably shouldn't walk you up to your door considering the fact that your boyfriend knows about me," Paul's eyes scanned the tiny blue house we were parked in front of.

"Who cares," I scoffed, "I don't want to feel like I can't be me anymore."

"He makes you feel like that?"

I nodded, "I guess I'm not good enough."

He put his finger underneath my chin and forced me to look him in the eye, the tingling feeling coming back again, "You are more than good enough, Sammy. The real problem is that he doesn't deserve you."

My lips pulled up into a small smile, but it didn't last for long, "I find that hard to believe."

He leaned his head in close to mine and kissed my left temple. Before I could react in any way he pulled away and got out of the car, running over to the passenger's side and opening the door for me. I slowly got out, feeling stunned. Wait did his lips seriously just touch my skin?

It took me a while to finally start walking and it took me even longer to make it up the stairs. I was literally gripping the railing with everything I had just so I wouldn't faint. It wasn't that I was dizzy or anything like that I was just really surprised that he kissed me and I didn't even slap him for it because I liked it. Oh Jesus…

"Do me a favor, will you?" I raised my head and listened to him as he continued, "Stay away from the woods."

I chuckled and raised one eyebrow, "Damn, I was planning on going hiking tomorrow."

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm sure you were." There was silence for a moment and all we did was look at each other. His smile still knocked the wind out of me, "I missed talking to you like this," he declared.

I looked up into his eyes and could tell that he definitely meant it. And surprisingly I missed talking to him like this too.

"Goodnight, Paul," I whispered.

"Stay safe," he reminded me.

I slowly opened the door and before I stepped inside I responded, "I will, just for your sake," he chuckled and I finally went inside, leaning up against the door and touching the spot where Paul had kissed me. Maybe I should just admit to myself that I really truly do half way believe him now and that I actually liked the fact that he kissed me…

...holy shit his lips were literally less than a foot away from my lips.

**-insert fangirl-earpiercing scream here- **

**woah...he kissed her (kind of...i guess)**

**next chapter will be off the chain homies! and if i get more than 11 or 12 reviews then i will update sooner!!!!!! **

**ok i gots to go to bed now because i'm going nuts as you can tell. **

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	21. 20 A Bloody Mess

**ok i'm attempting to post this since the last one didn't work...maybe it's me or maybe it's the site, but idk **

**sorry guys!!!! i was so surprised when i went to my email too lmao i looked at how many messages i had and it said 4 so i was like wah wah waaah and i thought no one liked this chapter lol!!!! **

**ok well this chapter (to me) is far off the chain...you guys will hopefully enjoy it**

**READ NOW!**

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_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

_**Savin Me, Nickelback **_

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Chapter 20

A Bloody Mess

Paul was everywhere that night. In my dreams, in my thoughts, and even in front of me sometimes when I imagined he was there. I think it's a pretty decent time to say I'm crazy. I examined myself in the mirror, groaning at the ugly bags that sunk under my eyes. It wasn't enough that I had to work in about ten minutes; I had to look horrible too.

"Screw this," I walked out of the bathroom and picked up my purse, my sketchbook, and my car keys, slowly heading down the stairs. He was here and I knew it. Did he want to talk to me? Hopefully not…

I don't even know if he knows where I was all day yesterday, but does he really even care?

I kept my head down as I strode towards the door, glancing at him for a slight second before I started to twist the knob.

"Wait, Sammy," Sean called. I shut my eyes tight for a moment before I turned my body around towards him. He looked like a big huge mess. His hair was all over the place and his eyes just looked…well they just looked hung-over.

"Wow, way to stay sober, Sean. Do you really expect me to have a serious conversation with you when you're hung-over?" I stared him up and down and he sighed loudly.

"Just let me say something before you freaking storm out of the house!" he said in a harsh tone.

I rolled my eyes and gestured him to go on, but I knew I wasn't going to buy any of the shit he was selling at the moment.

"I know who you were with yesterday, Sammy," his eyes narrowed. I shook my head and opened my mouth to defend myself, but he stopped me, "You're still hung up on him when he doesn't even love you!" ouch, that one hurt… "You're so caught up in a lie that it's not even funny. And you know what? I'm not sorry for what I did. I'm not sorry for getting drunk, or for being hung-over right now because you're doing something just as wrong as I am."

"And what's that, Sean?" I shouted, "What am I doing that's so bad?!"

"You're acting like the world has to revolve around you. Well you know what! It doesn't! Fine, go hang out with Jacob Black and his little gang of psychopaths. Go bow down before Paul since he's oh so wonderful. But I don't even get what you see in him, he's just an asshole with a bad temper."

I scowled at him and my hands formed into fists. Before I could stop myself, I drew my arm back and flung it forward, my fist making contact with his nose. He immediately cupped his hands around his nose and wobbled in his place.

"I'm through with you, Sean," I spat at him, "You and you're 'I comes first' personality and the way you make _me _feel guilty when I didn't even do anything wrong! I was through with you a long time ago, but that's when I thought I needed someone like you in my life," I shook my head back and forth, "Now I just know that you're the biggest douche bag I've ever met! Go back to New York, Sean, because I don't ever want to see you're hung-over face again!"

I stormed towards the door, picking up the things that I dropped and looking over my shoulder one more time, "And just for your information, Jacob and his _friends _aren't psychopaths because if they were then it'd basically be a clone of you. And Paul, he's the man you could never be, Sean."

He stared at me with fury and rage written all over his bloody face. I could see a small portion of confusion and hurt in his eyes though, but I didn't care. So, I ran out of the house and into my car, driving as fast as I possibly could. As I flexed my fingers I felt a stinging pain in my hand. I took a look at it and noticed that two of my knuckles were bloody. Ugh, great. I really need to come into work looking like I just came from the scene of a murder.

On my way to the gallery I thought about what Sean had said to me. Do I really make it look like I need the world to revolve around me?

I shuddered at the question.

But in a way I felt good because I was done with all of that stress and I was finished with feeling like everything was my fault. Ugh, he's just an ass with a big ego. I should've listened to Jacob and never have gone out with him. Then I wouldn't be sitting here with bloody knuckles and –I groaned when I came to the realization- possibly nowhere to stay tonight. Well not unless Sean left for New York already. I doubt that will happen though. He's got to buy a ticket and everything.

I shook my head; I didn't really think this whole breaking up thing through. Well that wasn't very smart of me. Now what am I supposed to do? Sleep on the streets?

Before I could let that possibility go any further I parked into the first empty parking space that I could find and quickly took all of my stuff out of the car, slamming the door behind me.

When I got inside I was relieved when I noticed that Maggie wasn't there getting ready for the art show. She would probably fire me if she saw my hand. I quickly went behind the front desk and searched for any sort of paper towel or tissue.

"What the hell happened to you?!" Dana exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes, "I punched my ex in the face, what do you think happened?"

"Ex?" she raised one eyebrow.

"Sean disrespected me and my friends so I broke his nose…well at least I hope I broke his nose. Some permanent damage could do him some good."

She handed me a wet rag and I wrapped it around my hand, "So, it's over now?"

"Obviously."

"Well, what's going to happen now?"

I pursed my lips, "I told him to go back to New York. Hopefully the broken nose situation will help him move faster. Maybe he's afraid," I grinned at the thought.

Dana laughed softly, "Girl power."

"Yes, girl power," I agreed.

When my hand finally decided to stop spazzing and when the show began I sat back and took out my sketchbook. It was Dana's turn to greet people. My turn starts in –my eyes went to the clock- a half an hour. I loved how easy this job was.

"So, was there blood?" Dana whispered to me.

I grinned, "Yes, there was."

"Oh my God! He's going to hate you forever, Sammy!"

"Like I give a shit," I tried to keep my voice down so people couldn't hear the last part.

"Well at least all of that's over with," just as she was about to continue more people came in and I turned my attention back to the white sheet of paper that was sitting on my lap.

"_He's just an asshole with a bad temper."_

I closed my eyes when I heard the words repeat in my head. Sean didn't even know how wrong he was. Paul wasn't an asshole, not even close. And the only time when he really has a bad temper is when someone does something to intentionally piss him off. Other than that he's content. Well not unless you count what Emily said about Paul taking his anger out on the other guys while I was gone.

My pencil met the paper and I let my fingers glide across the page. The drawing started to take form, but ask me what it was going to form into and I couldn't tell you, not yet at least. I tuned everything out for the time being and got into my zone.

"_I'll always be here to listen to whatever you have to say." _

I leaned back in my seat and kept letting all the small little quotes run in and out of my head. This was one of the rare times that I actually felt completely calm. It was like nothing could bother me, not even this stupid bloody and bruised hand I have.

When I took a second to examine my work I finally realized what this was. It wasn't nearly as perfect as it should be, but it still looked like Paul. But this time it was the new Paul, with his short hair and his newly perfected muscles. His eyes and his smile still looked the same though.

"Well that was fast," I jumped and instantly closed my sketchbook. I looked up at Dana and she had the hugest grin on her face, "How long did it take you to get over Sean? Like an hour or so?"

"Shut up," I muttered bitterly.

"Not unless you let me see who that guy you're drawing is!" she reached her hand out toward me and I wrapped my hands around my sketchbook defensively.

"It's none of your business," I kept my eyes on the purple bruises that covered my knuckles now.

"Ok, ok," she chuckled and turned around just when three familiar faces walked through the door. My eyes widened and I blinked a few times to make sure that I wasn't just seeing things.

"What are you guys doing here?" I sat up from where I was sitting, a huge smile appearing on my face.

"Checking out the art show, what else would we be doing here?" Embry's lips pulled up into a smile.

"La Push is nothing but business lately," Jacob commented in a bored tone while he picked up a brochure and flipped through it.

Dana tugged my arm, forcing me to turn away from the three of them, "You know them?!" she squealed excitedly.

"Yeah, they're my friends," I said slowly.

"Are they single?"

"I don't know," I pulled my arm out of her grip, "Are any of you single?" I asked them with a teasing expression on my face.

They all looked at each other and then at Dana, "Embry!" they both shouted, pushing him towards the desk.

Dana scowled at me while I tried to contain my laughter. Embry had this weird look on his face too and I couldn't help but notice that he was staring at Dana like she was a goddess or something. What a weirdo…

I guess Jake and Quil noticed this too by the way they kept giggling like little school girls to themselves as they watched Embry stare.

"I'm sorry; Sammy's a little delusional right now since she broke someone's nose!"

I immediately stopped laughing and mouthed an 'I hate you' to her as she got her turn to laugh.

"You broke someone's nose?" Quil sounded amused.

I waved my hand in the air for affect, "Yeah, sure."

Jacob's hand grabbed my wrist and it wasn't until that moment when I realized that I raised my bad hand, "Jesus Christ, Sammy!"

"Oh, come on it's not that bad," I tugged my arm away.

"Not that bad? That's even worse than when you punched me."

"Well thanks," I said.

He creased his eyebrows, "Who the hell did you punch so badly that you broke their nose?"

"Sean," I mumbled.

I saw three pairs of eyes suddenly light up and small grins appeared on their lips, "That's awesome," Embry commented.

"Yes, breaking up with someone who tells you you're self centered is the epitome of awesome, Embry," I sighed, "Now go look around or else I'm going to be fired."

"I think I might get lost," Embry started to bat his eyelashes at me, "Will you help me look around miss?"

"Jerk," I grumbled.

"That is not right! Where's the manager?! I demand to speak to a manager!"

I shushed him so that my boss wouldn't actually come out, "Ok, fine. Don't act like a five year old, we do not tolerate child like behavior here, especially with these delicate pieces of artwork on display," I smirked.

"Aw crap, then I guess you're gonna have to leave, Embry," Quil said.

Embry kicked him in his butt and I stopped walking, giving him a stern look that said I'm not messing around.

He raised his arms up and I started to walk again, "It was nice meeting you, Dana," Embry added while I smiled to myself.

"You too, Embry."

Aw, they're already cute. I can totally see them two together, well maybe if Embry would grow up a little.

"So, where's the good stuff?" Jake asked while we stared at some sculpture.

"This _is _the good stuff."

"No, I mean where's your stuff?" He raised one eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I didn't come here to look at some stupid metal square!"

I turned toward Embry and glared at him, "If I get fired then I'm going to break your nose!"

"I doubt you can," he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I could find a way," I responded as I began heading towards my paintings.

"Here's my paintings," I pointed them out and scanned each of them over, glancing at Quil, Embry, and Jacob every few seconds to see what they thought, "They might not make a lot of sense, but yeah. This is it."

Jake looked at me, "They're really good."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Ha, this one looks strangely familiar," Quil said, pointing to the one of the grey wolf.

Jacob slapped the back of Quil's head and stared him down sternly.

I wondered what he meant by strangely familiar. Had he seen this wolf before?

My eyes looked over the painting once more. That's strange, I got the idea for this one from a dream I had. How could it look familiar?

We managed to make it through the gallery without me getting fired. Sure, Embry had his moments, but I told him I'd make him pay for that. As the night went on –and as Dana constantly kept talking about the weird feeling she got every time Embry looked at her- my hand started to ache more and more, but it's not like I could do anything about it since I was in the middle of working my shift.

I closed up my sketchbook and grabbed all of my other things before I headed out the door. The wind hit me hard and I shivered from the chill that ran down my spine. As I walked toward my car I felt like I was being watched. My eyes searched for some sign of someone who was possibly stalking me, but I didn't see anyone or anything for that matter. So I proceeded on thinking that it was all just in my head.

When I turned around the corner I jumped and stopped walking.

"Sorry," I whispered softly to the scruffy man that was leaning up against the wall. He smiled with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a large set of disgusting teeth.

I walked around him, trying not to cough loudly from the smoke that had been puffed in my face about two seconds ago. Every few seconds I would glance over my shoulder, making sure that he wasn't following me. But as I got closer and closer to my car, a tiny shadow started creeping its way closer to me. I closed my eyes and thought that this could not be happening.

I fumbled to get my car keys out of my purse and as soon as I did I got ready to jump into the car and drive off as fast as I could. When I was about a foot away from the car I could tell that he was still following, but I paid no attention to him as I tried to quicken my pace a bit without him noticing. Before I could even open my door his hand was on top of the handle.

"Where you going?" he asked, his words slurring together as he spoke.

I stayed quiet and stood still. His hand reached out and grabbed a lock of my hair and he brought it up to his face and sniffed it. I breathed heavily and bit my lip as I tried not to cry. Never in a million years did I expect this to happen to me.

He grabbed my arm and forced me to turn around. I looked down at my feet as I did it and just when I thought he was reaching to loosen his belt he went into his pocket instead and pulled out a small knife. My eyes slightly widened and I screamed loudly so someone, anyone, could hear me. But as soon as I did he brought the knife up to my throat.

"Scream and I swear I'll slit your throat," he threatened me.

I kept my mouth shut then and figured that I had to come up with some sort of plan or else I was going to die.

"Now," he started to explain, "Give me your keys and your purse."

I was resistant to doing it though because if I did, then I knew he could possibly rape me next.

"Do it!" he shouted as the blade of the knife touched my skin and my sketchbook fell to the ground. He didn't care about that though.

_Think, think, think!_ I yelled to myself in my head.

And the only thing that popped into my head was self defense. It was crazy and stupid of me, but it was my only hope at this point.

So, I slightly lifted my leg and swung my foot back and with as much force as I could I kicked him in his groin. His knife fell to the ground and I pushed him out of my way so I could run. But as soon as I tried to escape he grabbed my hair and pulled me down with him. I screamed out in pain and tried to tug my hair out of his grasp with as much force as I could and when I felt an excruciating pain on the back of my head and then a tearing sound I knew that he had ripped some of my hair out.

He slowly started to stand up and with my hand cupping the back of my head I tried to make the tears go away so I could run. I heard a scraping noise from behind me and I knew that he had gotten his knife again.

And just when I thought that it was over, a bunch of fierce growls was all I could hear behind me. I turned my head around in curiosity while my feet moved, but what I saw had me slowing down in an instant.

All I saw was Paul with his hand clasped around the scruffy guy's throat, holding him about two feet in the air. The knife was in his other hand, bent to a point where it no longer resembled a weapon. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I tried to regain my breath.

"Let me go you crazy bastard!" the man shouted in a short amount of breath as he squirmed and tried to get out of Paul's grasp.

"Why should I?" Paul hissed at him through clenched teeth and I could clearly see that he was shaking.

"I swear," he said as he tried to breathe, "I'll leave her alone."

"No, you won't."

"Paul!" I yelled my voice cracking. His eyes met mine and the hard look they had before suddenly softened, "Don't kill him," I barely whispered.

"But-,"

"No!" I shook my head.

"He hurt you," Paul added.

I didn't know what else to say at this point to make him stop. There was nothing to say, but I'd choose this over nothing, "Please?"

He looked at me again and stopped growling. His shaking lessened as he lowered the man and finally threw him onto the ground. The guy immediately ran off without saying a word and I just stood there completely shocked by what just happened.

I could've been killed. No, I was going to be killed if it weren't for Paul. I raised my head as Paul walked closer and closer to me. That's when the tears starting pouring out of me and as soon as they started to roll down my cheeks, Paul pulled me into a tight embrace. I sobbed into his chest and he stroked my hair. But once he touched the small bald spot on my head he started trembling again.

"I'm so sorry," Paul held me even tighter and I suddenly felt safe in his arms. It was a good feeling, compared to how I was feeling five minutes ago.

"How did you get here?" I asked, my lips quivering.

"It doesn't matter," he answered in a calm tone, "The only thing that matters is you," he let go of me and looked into my eyes using his thumbs to wipe away my tears, "Are you ok?"

I nodded, "Now that you're here I am."

His eyes darted everywhere and he tried to make sure that I didn't have a scratch on me, but once he saw my hand he started to shake again and a low grumble seemed to come from deep inside his chest.

"That wasn't from him," I told him, "I punched Sean."

His head shot up and his eyes went wide, "Why?"

"Because he was being an ass so I broke up with him and punched him in the nose," I glanced up at him, "Hopefully I broke it."

He chuckled and once again he pulled me into his arms and I welcomed the safety and comfort that he provided me with.

"God, this is all my fault," Paul muttered.

"Your fault?" I shook my head furiously, "This is not your fault, Paul. It's mine; I should've parked closer to the gallery. It was my stupid mistake."

"But if I would've gotten here sooner-,"

"Stop it!" I demanded, "Do not blame yourself for this, Paul," I placed my palm on his cheek and he leaned into my hand, "Ok?"

He nodded and grinned at me, "I think we should get you home now."

"I think you're right," I said in a complete and total daze. I pulled away from him, but as soon as I tried to walk on my own he pulled me up into his arms and started carrying me, "I'm not a baby, you know?"

"No, but in this situation you might as well be."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't protest against the idea of him carrying me. So I rested my head against his chest as he walked me to my car and set me into the passenger's seat. It wasn't until then that I realized how tired I was. I mean almost being killed and breaking someone's nose was tiring.

When Paul got into the car and started driving I kind of wondered where I was going to stay for the night.

"Paul?" I said a little groggily.

"Yeah?"

"I can't go home," I laid my head against the back seat.

"I know," he replied.

"So, where are you taking me? The homeless shelter?"

"No, somewhere even better."

"Please just tell me where. I can't keep my eyes open enough to guess anymore!" I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier the longer I waited for him to finally say it.

"My house," he said simply.

I nodded my head once and pulled my knees in close to my body, "Paul?"

"Hm?"

"I owe you big time," and without anything else being said, I fell into a state of unconsciousness where my dreams –or possible nightmares- awaited me.

**i know what you're thinking right now (rubs temples) YAY! SHE BROKE UP WITH SEAN AND ALSO BROKE HIS NOSE! :D**

**yes i truly did it.**

**it wasn't supposed to happen this soon, but you guys wanted me to get rid of him so i did!! (or did i?) **

**hehehe **

**Review or i will die! **


	22. 21 I Approve

**ok so. This chapter was basically a whim. I was throwing ideas up in the air and then juggling them all around and i was so confused, trying to figure out if i should put this in so soon or not. But it seems as if all of you guys want this to happen...so here it is. DON'T COMPLAIN!!! lol sorry..**

**I'm expecting lots of reviews and cookies because of this decision that i made. Maybe a thanks for that or thanks for changing the plot around to make it this way. I don't mean to be mean guys! OK!?!?!?!?! i love you guys! that's basically why i did this!!!! **

**SO THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY READERS WHO PUT UP WITH MY WEIRD AUTHOR'S NOTES AND MY ANNOYING CAPS LOCK SPAZ ATTACKS! **

**alright well you better review guys.**

**and that third new moon trailer? WOW! that's all i have to say. When Paul phases?! that was awesome. The wolves?! they look so real! **

**and just the action is amazing. **

**oh god im sorry for rambling guyz XP GAH i get bad sometimes. Alright, i'll let you read in peace now. **

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_Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place  
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday  
If only time flew like a dove  
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love_

This time we're not giving up  
Let's make it last forever  
Screaming hallelujah  
We'll make it last forever

_**Hallelujah, Paramore**_

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Chapter 21

I Approve

I woke up with a terrible headache and a sore hand. But the good thing is that I was finally able to fall asleep after about four hours of me crying and trying to tell myself that I'm safe and I'm fine. It was difficult for me, since Paul decided to let me sleep in his room alone while he took the couch. I wished that he did stay with me though, because maybe I would've actually felt like I wasn't going to be killed every other second. I guess I could understand why he didn't, too.

As I slowly sat up, the pain in my head grew worse and I closed my eyes to try and keep myself from shouting. I didn't want to see how much hair he managed to rip out of my skull because then it'd just make me feel angry and well…ugly.

There was something else that was bothering me though, and it had nothing to do with physical pain. It was the fact that Paul had saved me and he somehow was able to get there just in the nick of time. Port Angeles wasn't that close to La Push. I mean he couldn't have heard me scream. But he could've been in Port Angeles already, maybe.

I also thought about how strong Paul was, even for him. It was just weird that he was able to completely bend the sharp knife out of shape. I shuddered from the memories.

A knock at the door interrupted me and I finally opened my eyes to see Paul standing in the doorway with a bag of ice in his hand, "How are you feeling?"

I sighed, "Like I almost died last night," I admitted.

He slowly walked towards me and sat down on the bed, placing the bag of ice on my purple knuckles, "I take it you didn't sleep too well?"

"Yeah," I answered, "Are you really surprised though?"

He clenched his jaw, "I guess not."

I looked down at my now ice cold hand and examined it for a moment, flexing each of my fingers and hissing in pain.

"You sure did manage to do some damage on your hand," he gently grabbed my hand and it warmed up immediately. As he started to look at it, I wondered why everyone, well all the guys, were always so warm, "How come you're skin's always so hot?" I made sure that I didn't word that the wrong way.

Paul glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, but didn't say anything.

I sighed in frustration and snatched my hand away from him, "You know, I'm eventually going to figure it out," I paused and stared at him, but he didn't even bother to look at me, "You all can't just expect me to sit here and not get suspicious about where you guys go when you just run off randomly or how you magically appeared out of thin air and saved my life."

"I know."

"Then why can't you just tell me what you're hiding now and get it over with?" I remembered to keep my tone calm because I really didn't want to get mad at him. Not when he saved my life and let me stay in his house.

"Because you'll hate me again," he muttered under his breath, but I could still hear what he said.

"Hate you?!" I scowled, "I never hated you, Paul!" or I can just throw all that calm bull shit out the window. He didn't say anything to me, so I continued, "I couldn't even if I tried. And God knows I tried."

He turned his body towards me and I did the same. We were so close that his hot breath made me shiver and his eyes literally burned through my skin, "I don't want to lose you again because of this."

I shook my head in denial and pressed our foreheads together, "You won't, Paul. I promise you that," I paused for a short second, realizing how close he really was now, "Whatever this is, I'll deal with it. And I've already made my decision," his eyes grew curious, "And I've decided that trying to stay away from you is impossible so I'm staying, right here."

He closed his eyes and didn't say a word for a couple of minutes. He finally opened them again, "I can't say it."

And that's when the moment was ruined for me. That's when I pulled away from him and stood up from the bed, walking over towards the window while I tried not to get emotional again. Damn, I've been crying a lot lately, too much.

"You know this is the only thing that's keeping me from understanding why you hurt me, right?" I said when I felt his breath on the back of my neck.

"I know."

I turned around and narrowed my eyes at him, "If you say you love me, then why can't you just tell me so I can understand?"

"Sammy-,"

"You saved me," I reached down and grabbed his hand, forcing him to touch the small spot where I no longer had hair, "I could've been hurt a lot worse than this if it weren't for you. I want to feel the way you feel about me, Paul. But I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on."

He brought his hand down to his side and his eyes went to the floor, "You'll freak out."

"Oh come on," I said, my tone growing a little calmer, "You know I'm not the type of person to freak out about things."

"Yeah well, this is a lot harder to get used to compared to other things."

I took a step closer to him, my train of thought fading away, "Tell me," I demanded.

He peered up at me and grinned, "If you let me show you something first," My eyebrows creased and I opened my mouth to say something back, but his finger pressed against my lips and made me keep my mouth shut, "Please?"

I rolled my eyes and slapped his hand away, "This better be good."

"Trust me, it is."

Once I was finished getting ready, I followed Paul out to his car and without any hesitation I got in and let him take me wherever he was taking me to. Maybe I should be afraid….but he did say it was going to be good so I guess it won't be anything scary. Plus, I get to figure out what he's hiding. So, fine he can take me wherever he wants.

On the way to wherever we were going I let my thoughts bring me to what had just happened. I was so close to knowing that I could basically feel the words about to roll off his tongue. I don't get why he doesn't trust me enough to tell me or why he thinks that I would freak out.

I glanced at Paul who was concentrating on the road at the moment. If he cared so much about me and loved me, then why does he feel the need to hide this secret from me? And I know that I'm probably the only one in La Push that doesn't know what's going on. It's not even fair…

When Paul stopped in front of a bunch of trees I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. As Paul opened the door I suddenly remembered something he said before.

"I thought you said the woods weren't safe?"

"Don't worry," he smiled and reached his hand out to take mine, "You'll be safe with me."

I raised one eyebrow at him, but I took his hand and let him have his way. As we started to get farther and farther into the woods I got worried that we might not be able to find our way back.

"Paul isn't this a little far?" I slowed down a bit and Paul slowed down too.

He turned towards me and looked into my eyes, "Have a little faith in me, Sammy."

"Well when you're leading me into a heavily wooded area filled with who knows what then I can't."

He shook his head and started walking again. I made sure that I wasn't far behind him because I didn't even know what I would do if I lost him. I'd probably die or something.

"It's not too far from here," he pointed out.

I sighed in relief when I saw a small opening in the trees up ahead. As I look around me, I start to feel like I've been here before. It may sound crazy, but this place looks somewhat familiar to me. It's just the way the trees are aligned here; they're all so symmetrical and perfectly spaced away from each other.

When we finally reached the opening, Paul stopped and suddenly everything made sense. The memories started flooding back to me as soon as I saw the small clubhouse me, Paul, and my dad built when we were little. It amazed me that it was still standing tall.

"Remember this?" Paul asked me.

I nodded, "How did you find it again?"

"It took some time, but I was determined to find it. And, well here it is," he led me closer to the tree where our clubhouse rested.

I let go of his hand and ran my fingers over the bark where my dad carved both of our names. I was surprised that everything managed to stay intact for so many years.

"Everything still looks the same," I commented.

"Yeah well I had to clean it up a bit and do some repairs because the wood was getting bad, but other than that it was in pretty good shape."

I looked at Paul, my eyes wide, "You repaired it?"

He half smiled and nodded, "Surprised?"

"Yeah," I replied, "I mean why?"

He paused for a moment before answering me, "It meant a lot to both of us when we were little. And finding it helped me feel like a part of you was still here. I'd come here sometimes and just sit and think," he walked towards the ladder that my dad had built so many years ago and started climbing it.

I examined everything about the clubhouse that we used to visit almost every day after school. To think that my dad trusted us enough to give us something like this was shocking to me, even now. But it seems as if it had gotten farther into the woods. I can only imagine how many more trees there are here then there were before.

"You coming?" Paul's voice pulled me out of my trance and I walked up towards the ladder and climbed without a care in the world.

When I made it up there I was shocked to see how good it looked on the inside. It was all pretty much the same too, except for a couple of new things I'm sure Paul added himself.

"This hasn't changed at all," I sat down on the floor and hugged one leg close to my chest while I let the other sprawl out in front of me. Paul sat straight across from me, the sole of his shoe touching mine.

"No, it really hasn't," he stared at me and I did the same to him. I don't know what it is, but it's like whenever I look at him, I want to be closer to him. It's like there something that's pulling me towards him, but I'm tugging back.

"We haven't been here since we were what? Ten years old?" I chuckled.

"Yeah," he half smiled, "The last time we were here was right after the accident."

I looked down for a moment, "I remember," I said, "It was when I came home from your house. I knew it was strange that my dad was picking me up since he usually worked late. And then he told me what happened," I tried not to think too much about it, "I snuck out and came here."

Paul continued, "And your dad called my mom and told her what happened. She told me about your mom and then she told me you ran away," he looked at me to make sure that it was ok to go on. I looked back at him with a reassuring look in my eyes, "They had the police looking for you and everything. But I knew exactly where you went."

I leaned my head back against the wall and let the memories speak for me, "I wanted to come here to talk to you. I didn't want to cry in front of my dad or see him in pain because I thought I had to be strong around him. So I came here because I knew you would find me and you would let me cry and say what I needed to say."

For a minute we didn't say anything because both of us were deep in our own thoughts, but our eyes still stayed glued to each other.

"You were the only one I ever trusted enough to tell stuff like that," I said, "Well except for my therapist, but that was only because she was being a bitch about everything and wouldn't stop asking me the same questions."

Paul started to laugh, "Only you would consider your therapist a bitch for trying to help you."

"She didn't help me though. You were the only one that did," I wasn't thinking about what I was saying at this point. If it popped into my mind, then it was going to come out of my mouth.

"It was the same for me when I needed to talk to you about my dad. My mom tried to talk to me, but I was stubborn. I only felt like telling you because I knew you wouldn't judge me."

I smiled at that, "This place holds a lot of memories."

He nodded, "Too many memories."

I twiddled my thumb and tried to come up with something else to say. His eyes were still on me and I couldn't understand why he always did that. Was I really that fascinating? Or worse, was the bald spot noticeable from here?

I defensively put my hand on the spot and rubbed it a little since it was starting to hurt.

"You're still beautiful, Sammy," my head shot up when he said that, "It doesn't take away from any of that."

He knew that I knew what he was referring to. And I believed him, "You mean I don't look like I'm losing hair in the back of my head?"

His lips pulled up into a grin, "Not at all."

"Alright, I guess I believe you," I said.

His eyes finally looked away from me and he stared down at his hands. His face made it look like he was thinking hard and before I could try to figure out what he was thinking about he was already scooting towards me and kneeling right in front of me, his arms and legs on either side of my body.

I gawked at him when he moved his face closer to mine and suddenly stopped about an inch away from me.

"Do you trust me?" he asked in a serious tone.

I nodded, "I do."

"Can you trust me enough to love you again?"

My head started spinning at that point and I started to feel light headed from what I was about to say, "Yes," I admitted, "But only if you tell me first."

His eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips and I could see how much he wanted to have me to himself, "Ok."

"Ok?" I made sure that I was hearing him correctly.

He nodded, "If that's what it takes then fine," he sat himself down right next to me and I grabbed his hand to let him know that he could say whatever he needed to say, "I don't know where I should begin. Sam never really told me how I should go about with this."

"Ok, start by telling me why you're so fascinated with Sam Uley all of a sudden."

"I'm not," he explained, "Believe me I still don't like him, but he's not _all _that bad either since I get where he's coming from some of the time."

"So…" my voice trailed off so he could continue.

"So there's a lot more to the story."

"Obviously," I chuckled to try and lighten the mood.

"It's a lot to explain, Sammy," he shook his head back and forth.

"I can handle it, Paul."

Before he had his chance to go any further a loud howl had both of our heads shot up and Paul immediately stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. I stood up next to him and waited for him to go on, but by the frantic look he had on his face I knew this conversation was over.

"You're not going to tell me are you?" I asked, disappointed.

He looked at me with a frustrated expression on his face, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I said reassuringly, "I'll make you tell me later."

He stood there in silence for a moment and I started to see a small smile pull up at his lips as he walked up close to me. Without any hesitation at all he put both of his hands on either side of my face and pressed his lips against mine. At first I was shocked and he noticed this, so he pulled away for a second and looked into my eyes to make sure that it was ok. I slammed our lips back together and kissed him passionately and when I did this I felt Paul smile against my lips. It was a kiss that I wanted to last forever, but it didn't last too long because once again there was a loud howl.

Paul groaned out loud, "We have to get out of here," he told me.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"It's not safe here," he said with the most serious look on his face. So, I didn't protest when he took my hand and started to lead me out of our clubhouse.

As we drove I couldn't help but smile. Nothing could beat the way I feel right now. It was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and I felt like I did the right thing. I kept looking at Paul every other minute and of course he did the same thing to me. But neither one of us said anything because, well, nothing really needed to be said.

I was confident that Paul would tell me the truth soon. And if I was guessing right, he would tell me tomorrow or even tonight, but that depends on when he gets back from…wherever he goes. I felt anxious and nervous about that all at the same time. Anxious because I'd finally know the truth and nervous because what if it was something that would really make me hate him. But I know that I could never hate him: especially not after what just happened.

We pulled up to Sam and Emily's house about ten minutes later and this time I chose not to question any of them about where they were going. I did feel a little suspicious when I heard Emily ask Paul if he told me yet. I really can't wait until I stop asking myself so many damn questions that I can't answer.

While I was at Emily's house the three of us looked through bridal magazines looking for a wedding dress for Kim. I really needed to talk to Jared soon. I mean I miss him…I really do. I just want to tell him how happy I am for the two of them. I couldn't imagine anyone better than Kim.

We took a break when Emily decided to make dinner for the guys. Mind you, she made about three times what any normal group of people should eat for dinner. It was nuts how much food she managed to cook.

I told the two of them that I had kissed Paul and let's just say that I couldn't hear afterwards. They were both excited that I was finally believing him and I had to admit that I was too. It was around seven when the guys got back. Yes, seven in the evening. It made me worried to think that they could possibly get hurt out there doing whatever they do. So I decided to bring it up during dinner…

"Are you ok?" I whispered to Paul while he ate his fourth helping of food. I looked at him up and down to see if there was any sort of scratch on him.

"I'm fine," he smiled, "Don't worry so much."

"Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen, especially since I don't even know what you guys are out there doing."

"I'm not going to get hurt," he pressed our foreheads together, "I promise."

At this point, I really didn't give a damn about who was staring, "You better not or else," I threatened.

"Ok, I'll behave," he pouted his lower lip and I smacked his arm.

"I'm not kidding," I said as he started to laugh.

"I know, I know," he coughed, trying to cover up his fit of laughter.

After dinner was over with, I waited for Jared to sit back down at the table so I could talk to him. Right when his ass met the chair I opened my mouth.

"Hey Jared?"

He looked up at me with a confused look in his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Wow, it was like magic because the next thing I knew everyone's eyes were piercing through me like daggers. I feel like freaking Harry Potter…one wave of my wand and poof! Everyone's suddenly listening to you and only you…

Ok well maybe Harry Potter doesn't exactly do that, but whatever he does now.

The two of us walked out of the room and I led him out onto the porch so that no one would be able to stare. Ha!

I leaned up against the railing and thought about where I should begin.

"What's up?" thank God he began for me.

I looked up and paused for a moment before I proceeded, "Hi," I said simply.

He smashed his eyebrows together, "Um, hi?"

I chuckled, "I missed you, Jared."

And then he finally got it. So he walked over to me and stood by the railing next to me, "I did too…and I'm sorry that I was such an ass to you. I shouldn't have done that."

I felt relieved, "It's ok."

"No, it's not," he shook his head, "It was wrong, really really wrong-,"

"Ok!" I shouted over him before he could keep rambling, "I forgive you, stupid!" We both looked at each other and I scooted closer to him and nudged his arm, "So, friends?"

"What do you think?" he replied with a smirk on his face.

"I think you haven't changed one bit."

"Neither have you, Sammy," he said.

There was a sort moment of silence before I turned the conversation onto a different topic, "Kim seems really great Jared," I stood in front of him now and he stared at me as I continued, "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," he grinned, "That means a lot coming from you."

"Yeah, well I just wanted you to know that I approve."

"You approve?" he raised one eyebrow at me, "Of what me and Kim getting married?"

"Yes, what else would I mean?" I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know I really didn't think that I needed your approval."

"Of course you do!" I hit him. Geeze I've been hitting a lot of people lately, "I'm your best bickering friend!"

"Ok, best bickering friend," he snickered, "I appreciate your approval."

"You better appreciate it."

"I do, I do," he held his arms open, "Now give me some love!"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "Ew not with the way you stink!"

He stiffened and then he defensively put his arms down and sniffed his arm pits which made me laugh.

"Oh, God I can't believe how gullible you became over the three years I was gone," I took one step closer to him, "Now hug me you dork!"

He shook his head and opened his arms once again, engulfing me into one of the biggest hugs I've ever experienced before. I felt like I was going to get lost in his biceps. And then he hugged me so tightly that I couldn't even breathe.

I gasped loudly and he loosened his grip on me, "Jesus Jared! Are you trying to kill me?" I chuckled.

"Maybe," he narrowed his eyes and I did the same to him.

The door opened then, and Paul came out smiling from ear to ear.

"Friends again?" he asked.

"No!" I answered, "We're best bickering friends!"

He raised both of his eyebrows, "Ok then…" Jared and I were both trying to hide our laughter when Paul spoke again, "I think it's time to get you home."

"Home as in…?" I asked.

"My house," he answered simply.

"I can't do that to you again, Paul. I'm interfering…"

"No, you're my guest. I want you to stay," he added.

Jared made a fake gagging sound, "Shut up!" Paul and I both shouted at the same time.

It was nice to know that things were finally getting back to normal for me and to think that I thought I'd never get any of this back seems stupid now.

Once again we were in Paul's jeep, driving in silence. I never really understood why we couldn't just come up with something to say while we were in the car, but I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm completely fine with just looking at him. That's enough for me…

We walked through the door to his house and I sighed loudly.

"Today was interesting," I said.

"It was nice," he smiled.

I knew what he meant by nice, "Yes, yes it was," I admitted.

"So, you can sleep in my room again. I'll stay down here."

"No," I protested, "Don't sleep on the couch again."

"You need the bed more than I do," he pointed out.

"Well how about we make a deal?"

He looked at me suspiciously, "Alright, fine."

"You stay in your room tonight…with me," I looked down at my feet, feeling my cheeks starting to turn red, "I feel safer when you're around."

Paul lifted my chin up with his finger and forced me to look him in the eye, "If that's what you want."

"It is," I responded quickly.

He inched his face closer to mine and kissed my forehead, intertwining his fingers through my hair, "Then I'll stay with you."

And before I could say anything else, he pulled me up into his arms and walked up the stairs. I kept my eyes on his face the whole time and he gently laid me down onto his bed and took his shirt off. He walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down next to me while I screamed in my head.

His body was faced towards mine and he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered to him.

"You don't have to thank me."

"Oh believe me I do," I half smiled.

Again, I felt completely safe and it didn't take me long to start to feel extremely tired. I knew that this was bound to happen since I didn't get to sleep too much last night. And just before I fell asleep I felt Paul's lips kiss my cheek.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. And before I could respond, I fell into a deep sleep in his arms where I felt like nothing could harm me.

**IF YOU HATE IT THEN TELL ME! because this really was done on a whim... i wasn't going to make this happen until later, but you guys wanted it and so i did it. Don't get me wrong i like the way it turned out it just took some time to rearrange my plot! **

**alrighty then i better get lots and lots of reviews or i will become depressed and think that i made a mistake by putting this in there now! **

**REVIEW IT AND SEND ME COOKIES!!! (no white chocolate chips please!)**

**love you guys (not in a creepy way)**

**~KK**


	23. 22 Pure Disappointment

**OMG! i think i gained 10 pounds from all those cookies you guys sent me! lol **

**i'm glad you guys liked it and i'm sorry to the ones who didn't. Hopefully this chapter will make up for that though. I spent the whole night typinf this up :P**

**please leave a review at the end guys!**

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_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning

_**Broken, Lifehouse**_

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Chapter 22

Pure Disappointment

Paul's soft snoring woke me up that morning. I kept my eyes closed though because I was dreading the brightness that the morning always promised even with the rain clouds. And I couldn't help but laugh at the noises he was making as he slept peacefully next to me. His huge arm was wrapped tightly and protectively around my waist, forcing me to be up against his broad chest. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and finally opened my eyes since the light was being blocked by his huge body. I took in his woodsy scent as I stared at him in complete awe. Everything about him was just breathtaking and I suddenly felt jealous of how perfect he really was.

And to think that I haven't been this close to him in so long makes me enjoy this sort of mushy stuff. My fingers started to trace patterns up and down his chest and I checked his face every couple seconds to make sure that I didn't wake him. He fidgeted for a minute and his eyebrows furrowed, but soon enough his face became peaceful again and his muscles relaxed. I smiled as my fingers trailed up his shoulder and down his arm that was slung around me. The bruises on my hand now seemed to be a light brown color instead of blue and purple now that I got a good look at them.

My eyes wandered for a bit until I looked at myself and what I was wearing. I've been in my uniform for work for about three days. Wow, that makes me look so great compared to the flawless person snoring next to me. I guess I could sneak in a shower while Paul's sleeping. The only problem is…how am I going to get out of bed?

I conjured up some sort of plan while I stared at Paul and his arm that seemed to be glued to me. Nothing that I thought of seemed to be good enough to get me out, though. But anything would work better than nothing.

I grabbed his wrist and tried to make him let go of me, but he wouldn't budge. I tried again and again with all of my might and there still was no reaction. Damn him and his strength.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off inside of my head and I started to wiggle myself out of his grip instead of making him let go of me. Once I was out I started laughing to myself. All of that just to get out of bed…

I slipped out of the bedroom with one more quick glance over my shoulder just to be sure that I didn't wake him up. Thankfully he was still fast asleep. While I was in the shower I tried to be as quick and as thorough as I possibly could be since I didn't want him to catch me in the act. It would be a little embarrassing.

Once I was finished I put my work clothes back on and headed down the stairs, making sure that I wasn't too noisy. I was grateful that I brought my sketchbook to work with me because I always find myself sketching in the mornings and there was no reason why I couldn't sneak in a small sketch before he wakes up. So, I grabbed my book and planted myself on his couch, taking in a deep breath since the whole place lingered with Paul's scent that reminded me of the forest.

I let my fingers do all of the work when I came up with something that I wanted to draw at the moment. The image was clear as day in my mind and I could see every single detail about that one special place Paul and I used to visit when we were kids. It still surprised me that he was able to find our clubhouse after all those years that we abandoned it. And just looking back and thinking about all the good memories that that place holds makes that place even more special now.

As I drew the trees that surrounded the clubhouse and started shading I started wondering if Paul really meant what he said. That he would tell me his secret today. I was determined to bug him about it until he actually did tell me. But really, there wasn't any reason why he couldn't tell me today.

The next thing I knew, two very warm and very big hands were on either of my shoulders and I jumped off the couch, my sketchbook falling onto the ground. I put my hand over the left side of my chest and let out a big breath of air.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" I said.

He smiled, "Sorry about that."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are," I bent down to grab my book, but Paul's hand beat me to the punch. I looked up at him while he started to flip through the pages. I immediately went into panic mode, "Don't look at those," I demanded.

He peered up at me and his hands stopped flipping, "Why?"

Think, think, think! "Because they're embarrassing," I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. He raised one eyebrow at me and once again his fingers started flipping through the pages. Feeling defeated, I sat back down on the couch and put my face in my hands, "Don't comment please," I really didn't want him to see the couple of drawings I did of that wolf that I used to dream about all the time. He'd probably think I grew insane over the three years I was gone. And the one I really really didn't want him to see is the one I drew of him two days ago. UGH!

He sat down on the couch next to me and put both of his hands on my waist, forcing me to turn towards him. The whole time he did this I kept my hands over my face because I knew my cheeks were bound to be a deep red shade. He grabbed both of my wrists and as soon as I realized what he was trying to do I tried to make him stop. But I was no match for him since he was so much stronger than I was. So I surrendered.

My gaze met his and he was grinning cheekily, "Stop looking at me like that," I said.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like you just won the lottery or something."

His grin faded and his face grew serious, "Better?"

"A little," I admitted.

We sat there in silence for a couple more minutes until he finally decided to get on with it, "Why didn't you want me to see those?"

I shrugged, "Those are kind of weird," weird…that's the best word I could come up with?

"So you're saying I'm weird?" Paul looked at me suspiciously.

"Possibly," I replied, "But really, the ones with the wolf? You have to admit that they're a little weird."

"Why'd you draw the wolf?" again, his face grew serious.

I hesitated to respond, feeling more and more embarrassed as each second passed, "I used to dream of it all the time in New York," I shook my head and lowered my gaze, "It's not normal, I know."

"It's a lot more normal than reality," he muttered to himself.

I let that one slide for now since I didn't know what the hell he was talking about and since it was too early in the morning for twenty questions.

"So," he started to say, "What do I have to do to make you believe that you're the most talented person La Push has ever seen?"

"Oh I don't know, bring Picasso back to life and ask him what he thinks."

He pressed his lips together and seemed like he was set back by my response, "I'm not Jesus…"

"Really?" I asked sarcastically, "'Cause I thought you were. Well that's disappointing."

He chuckled, "Sorry to be the one to disappoint you."

"It's fine, I like you better than Jesus anyways," I peered up at him.

"I'm flattered," he added with a hint of sarcasm.

I kicked him in the knee with only a small amount of force since I didn't feel like breaking my foot, "I'm not kidding."

"I know," he leaned in closer to me, "Like I said, I'm flattered," he lightly kissed the tip of my nose and relaxed once again.

"So, what are we doing today?" I'd hope that he'd say talking because that's all I felt like doing.

"Well since you don't have any other clothes than the ones you're wearing right now I figured we could pick some up from your house."

Ok, I guess I could deal with that, "Anything else?"

"There's a bonfire at the beach tonight," he raised his eyebrows, "Come with me?"

"What's the catch?" I narrowed my eyes.

"There's no catch," he paused for a moment, "I mean I was hoping that I could finally tell you-,"

"Count me in!" I exclaimed before he could even finish speaking. He chuckled, but I could see something was bothering him, "What's wrong?" I scooted a little closer to him.

"It's going to be a lot to handle-,"

I interrupted him again by putting my hands on his cheeks, "And I can handle it, Paul. Trust me."

He stared into my eyes to make sure that I wasn't lying and I tried to look as confident as I could to make him believe that I wanted to know, "If you say so."

"So, let's go get my crap," I said eagerly. Maybe a little bit too eagerly.

I stood up from the couch, but Paul grabbed my hand causing me to stop, "Don't you want breakfast?"

"No, not really," how could he talk about breakfast right now?

"Wow, that's a shocker," a confused expression appeared on my face when he said this, "Usually you're the one asking about food, not me."

"It seems we've swapped roles," I started walking again.

"So it would seem that way," he added while he followed close behind me.

On the way to my house I felt my stomach start to do flips inside of me. I tried to make it shut up, but since I didn't know if Sean was going to be there or not it wouldn't listen to me. So I wrapped my arms around my torso in hopes that it would dull the noise so Paul wouldn't hear it.

We managed to make it there in a short amount of time and I sat in the car just staring at the little blue house I used to call home. I'm not really sure if I can call it home now.

My eyes searched for any sign that he was here and since his car wasn't in the driveway I figured that he either left for work or he went back to New York already. Either one was fine by me so long as I don't see him.

"I'll go with you," Paul stated.

I nodded my head and opened my door slowly. Paul grabbed my hand when my feet met the pavement and he led me up to the house. All I could do was stare at the door as we walked up the steps and all I could think was that it would just be my luck for him to be in there.

I handed Paul my keys and he opened the door with no problem. We stood in the doorway for a couple of seconds and so far there was nothing but silence in the house which was a good sign. He stepped into the house and scanned the room, slowly leading me through the living room.

He let go of my hand and turned towards me, "Stay here," he said in a voice that meant that he wasn't kidding.

I nodded my head. I suddenly felt like I was in some sort of suspense movie. And it was one of those movies where I would be the one that everything pinpointed to. As I watched Paul walk up the stairs I took the time to examine the house. I walked into the kitchen and let my fingers run over the counter top. There was no dust, which probably means that he hasn't moved out yet. Great, just great.

"He's not here!" Paul shouted from upstairs and I took that as my cue to get my stuff out of my room.

I ran up the stairs and met up with Paul who was already looking through a bunch of drawers. And as he opened each one I saw all of Sean's shit.

"He hasn't moved out yet," I commented silently as I opened up my own drawers, "Unbelievable," I added while I grabbed a bunch of my jeans and my shirts. Paul threw a bag onto the bed and I started filling it up with my clothes. Was he really going to let me stay at his house for that long, "Does this mean that you're letting me stay with you?" I looked at him from across the room while I stuffed my favorite sweater into the bag.

He stared at me, "For as long as you want."

I stopped what I was doing, "What about Jared?"

"Jared's in the process of moving out," he answered.

I guess I never really thought about that, "As long as you think its ok."

"You know I do," he threw me my black converse.

Thank God, I don't know what I would've done without those, "Thanks," I said, both for the shoes and for letting me stay at his house.

"No problem," he replied quickly.

I went into the bathroom and got everything that I would need out of the medicine cabinet and I quickly returned back to the bedroom where Paul was lounging on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

"Sure just make yourself at home why don't you?" I chuckled.

"Don't mind if I do," he said smugly.

I picked up one random shirt and a random dark pair of jeans and headed into the bathroom again so I could finally change out of my work clothes. I literally threw them at the door after I took them off. After checking myself in the mirror -and purposefully avoiding looking at the bald spot on the back of my head- I walked back into the room where Paul was now standing with a phone plastered to his ear and his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

He glanced at me before replying, "Can't you give me the day off?" he snarled. A few moments later he growled, which was a little awkward. I turned around and stopped looking at him, "Come on Sam!" I flinched when I heard the name. I can't believe that even his name creeps me out, "Fine," he snapped back at him, "But once we catch them, you're going to give me a week off!" Paul screamed.

I raised my eyebrow. Team Paul for the win…

"I'll be there in a couple minutes," he muttered before slamming the phone shut. I turned around and grinned in order to try and let Paul know that I understood.

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate Sam?" he asked through clenched teeth.

I shrugged one shoulder, "Once or twice."

His lips slowly pulled up into a smile and he suddenly seemed to grow calmer when he looked at me, "I'm sorry about this."

"It's ok, I get it. You guys are the protectors of La Push which means you can't let the bad guys eat us," alright I'm pretty sure the bad guys wouldn't eat us…ugh I can be so stupid sometimes.

He looked around the room for a moment before looking back at me again, "I could take you to Emily's if you want."

I tried to think about what I'd rather do, stay home alone and risk seeing Sean or go and spend time with Kim and Emily again. I weighed out my options quickly, "Ok," I agreed.

"I'm pretty sure Kim needs you for wedding plans anyways," Paul added.

I chuckled, "Yeah she needs help desperately in the music department. I refuse to listen to prissy boy bands at that wedding."

His eyes suddenly widened, "We better hurry then," he scooped me up into his arms, grabbed my bag, and ran down the stairs and out to the car. I was in the passenger's seat about two seconds later, giggling to myself while he ran to the other side of the car.

"Who knew comments like that would make you move faster. I should do that more often."

He started up the car, "Weddings and boy bands don't mix."

"True," I nodded.

He drove faster than I expected him to. I really didn't think he would take that comment to that extreme. I could've sworn that I was just sitting in front of my house two seconds ago. Paul left way too soon after he dropped me off though. I actually felt kind of depressed when he left, but I got over it when I saw Kim's list of music for the DJ to play at the wedding. Actually, I crossed out most of the bands that were listed on there and helped her by putting even better ones on the list. She approved with a huff, but a huff was better than a straight up no.

The day came and passed quickly and as it became darker and darker outside I started feeling anxious since I would be finding out the secret that everyone's hiding from me. I guess I was excited to be able to say that I was inside of the loop and to finally understand why Paul hurt me. But thinking about Paul and him hurting me just made sitting at Emily's kitchen table unbearable because I just wanted to know.

"Sam called," Emily announced, "He said we should meet them at the beach now."

It was like a choir of angels singing Hallelujah from up above. I was basically the first one to react because it took me about two seconds after she spoke to stand up and start speed walking out of the house and towards the car.

"Anxious are we?" Kim questioned with a mocking grin on her face.

"Not really," I half lied.

It took us way too long to get there. I thought I might chew my whole bottom lip off if it took us any longer. When I saw the familiar cliffs and the ocean come into view my heart started racing inside of my chest. The three of us walked down towards the beach where the bonfire was already lit and all of the guys, and I mean each and every Quileute guy, were sitting around it. They all looked up when they saw us and most of their eyes went to me, not including Sam or Jared whose eyes went to Emily and Kim.

I stopped walking and just stood there with my hands in my pockets while everyone kept gawking at me, "Hi," I said shyly.

Paul stood up and walked over to me, taking my hand and leading me to a couple of chairs where I sat next to Jacob and…well no one since Paul didn't exactly sit down.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. He looked like he was scared shitless, "Are you ok?" I asked.

His eyes scanned my face and I could feel Jake's eyes scanning me too. If there were ever a time where I would feel awkward it would be now.

"I'll be fine," he mumbled.

Ok, I honestly regret ever wanting to get here quickly because this is just weird. Does everyone have to stare at me like I'm an alien?

"Sit, Paul," I demanded since he was starting to make me nervous.

The feeling in the air was tense as Paul did as I told him. I looked around at everyone and my eyes set on Sam who was sitting directly across from me with a strange look on his face.

"Sammy," Paul started to say beside me and I looked at him, giving him my full attention now, "Do you remember the old Quileute legends your dad used to tell us all the time when we were kids?"

I nodded without saying a word.

"Which ones do you remember?" he asked.

I turned my gaze to the fire and wondered where this was going, "Just the ones about the Quileutes being able to turn into wolves and the cold ones."

He didn't speak for a moment and his eyes went to Sam who nodded reassuringly, "They're all true, Sammy."

I froze, "What did you say?"

"Those legends about us turning into wolves are true," he said slowly.

I felt my legs give out from under me and I was thankful that I was sitting down right now. I forced myself to look up at all of their faces to see if they were joking. But by the pleading looks in all of their eyes that begged me to understand I knew it was true. They were wolves…werewolves to be exact. Paul was a werewolf, Jared was a werewolf, and even Sam -the guy I despised for half of my life- was a werewolf.

I glanced at Jacob out of the corner of my eye. He was a werewolf, too. Jacob, my savior, my best friend was a wolf. And then I looked at Paul. So, this was it. He hurt me because he was a werewolf. It still didn't make much sense to me.

"There's another legend about imprinting," Paul continued, but I didn't need him to and I didn't want him to because I knew what imprinting was.

"Let me guess," I could barely speak from how much my lips were trembling, "You imprinted on me?"

He slumped in his seat, "Yes," he whispered.

I shut my eyes tight and dared to ask him this, "When?"

"Do you remember when you told me to look you in the eye and tell you that I didn't love you anymore?" I flinched and nodded, "And do you remember feeling anything when I looked at you?"

I gasped lowly, "Yes, I do," I remember like it was yesterday. It was that one second when I wanted to believe that he still loved me, but I couldn't at that point because he already told me that he didn't care anymore, "Then why did you say you didn't love me?"

He paused, "At first I didn't think I imprinted on you and I hated myself for it. I hated that I had to hurt you. I didn't have another choice; I was only trying to protect you."

"You made a mistake," I pointed out.

He just nodded in response and didn't bother to look at me again. I didn't know what I should do at this point. I wasn't going to jump in the air because the mythical world I once wanted to believe was real suddenly was. And I wasn't going to hate him, or any of them for that matter, because of this. It wasn't something they could control and I knew that much.

But the thing I couldn't seem to grasp was the fact that Paul and I are soul mates. And because of some stupid mistake I lived three years thinking that he hated me and he moved on when in fact he loved me even more. Emily told me how bad he was when I left and at the time I didn't get why he would act that way, but now I do. It was because of me that he hated himself. It was because of me that he disliked being a werewolf.

I went through everything in my head and analyzed it all. The memories of that one day that seemed so painful once didn't seem so painful anymore because that's when Paul imprinted on me. That's when –as the legend goes- the world was being held in place by the wolf's one true love, by me. But I didn't hold it in place. I merely made it all go out of order. I ruined it all and I could only think about how much pain I caused him.

Paul put his warm hand on top of mine and my head shot up in his direction. Instead of telling him I was fine with it and telling him I loved him, I stood up and started to walk away from them. I felt the tears starting to swell up in my eyes with every step that I took. It was my entire fault. If I paid attention and let him tell me how much he really did love me, then I'd be fine…we'd be happy right now.

I felt terrible because of this. I should've let him explain before I left for New York, then I wouldn't be doing this right now. I wouldn't be walking off.

"Sammy! Wait!" Paul called after me.

I sobbed when I heard his voice. No one would understand why I was running right now, I knew that. But so long as I knew, then I would be fine…I hope.

"Sammy! Please let me explain!"

I hurt him so much worse than he hurt me. I was a bitch so to speak.

"Paul, Stop!" I heard Sam's voice call out in a dominant tone, "Let her go!"

I'd have to thank Sam for that later because if it wasn't for him then Paul never would've let me go. Everything was swelling up in my brain like a balloon. The reality of it all made me feel so terrible that I didn't even want to see myself ever again. I didn't deserve him. He was looking out for me and trying to protect me, while all I was doing was thinking of myself. Maybe Sean was right, maybe I am self centered.

"Sammy!" Paul cried out. I could hear him struggling against Sam from behind me as I walked.

"Give her time to absorb all of this," Sam said. I could tell that he was a lot calmer than Paul was.

I shook my head and shut my eyes tight when the beach was no longer in sight, "He never should've imprinted on me," I whispered to myself.

The last thing I heard as I walked was an ear piercing howl coming from the woods. I knew it was Paul and I could only think how stupid he was for imprinting on someone who was full of nothing but pure disappointment.

**ok well i hope you get why she walked off. if you don't then ask and i'll explain. I told you there would be twists, but i never said you would like them. I needed to make things fit that's why i did this**

**and one more thing i need to know!! this weekend i've been thinking about what i could do when this is over with**

**and i decided i could either write this story in Paul's POV or i could let you guys vote for certain chapters that you would want to see in Paul's POV**

**so in your review tell me which one you like better, the whole story in Paul's POV or just certain chapters in Paul's POV**

**if you don't review then i don't know what you want to happen!!! **

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! I'M NOT EDWARD CULLEN!**


	24. 23 Melodic Voices

**So i came to the conclusion that i have the best and most consistent readers fanfiction has ever seen. Seriously, you guys are amazing and all of your reviews made me smile. Here's your update. And i hope you guys will get why she left now because i explained it better in this chapter. **

**ANON! **

**tell Macbeth to stop saying Anon to me...stupid Macbeth test...**

**ANON! READ! **

* * *

_I miss you, you hurt me  
You left with a smile  
Mistaken, your sadness  
Was hiding inside  
Now all that's left  
Are the pieces to find  
The mystery you kept  
The soul behind a guise_

Where are you  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me

_**Haunted, Kelly Clarkson**_

* * *

Chapter 23

Melodic Voices

About half way through the night I couldn't tell if I was crying or if it was the rain that was now rolling down my face. My teeth constantly chattered as I walked in the darkness, the only light was the occasional flashes of lightning above me. My clothes were stuck to my skin and it was harder to walk because of how heavy they were now. I knew where I was heading even without being able to see. My feet were just guiding me to where I wanted to be the most right now.

I couldn't even begin to explain how stupid I feel for leaving like I did, when I did. Maybe if I was a stronger person than I could've faced him and told him what was bothering me, but I didn't. I was angry with myself to even tell him that I didn't care that he was a werewolf. It's just…everything hit me at the same time. Paul's a werewolf, Paul imprinted on me, Paul was trying to protect me from the dangers that came from being a werewolf when he said he didn't love me, and Paul was right when I was wrong. Everything and anything that could eat away at my brain was at that moment and it is right now.

Paul deserved better. He deserved someone who could stand by his side and listen without running off and leaving for three years. He needed someone who was stable and who could stand on their own two feet. I was the type of girl who needs crutches twenty four seven because the baggage that I carry causes me to be the weak person that I am.

He's going to think that I hate him all over again, when I only hate myself for hurting him so much that he was a walking corpse while I was away, as Emily explained to me. I'm an idiot for running away from this instead of just facing it. But in the whole two seconds it took for me to stand up and start walking I came to the realization that I needed to talk to someone. I needed to talk to her.

As the big huge gates came into view I sighed in relief. I was glad that I was able to find this place because I didn't know what I would do if I didn't find it. I climbed over the fence slowly and quietly before I made my way over to her grave.

When I reached it, I immediately sat down in front of the stone and stared at it. The grass was wet beneath me, but I didn't care about that at all. The only thing I wanted right now was to tell her how confused I am. She's practically the only one I can tell. A huge roar of thunder came from above me and the rain started to turn into a downpour. I could feel my body growing numb, but I paid no attention to it as I began to speak.

"Well, he's a werewolf," I said in a calm tone, "And he imprinted on me."

The wind hit my body hard, causing me to shiver even more than I was a second ago. I brought my knees up close to my chest to try and keep warm.

"And all I did was walk away," I shut my eyes and a few tears came out of the corners of my eyes, "I walked away because I was the one who did everything wrong while Paul did everything for my benefit. It's my entire fault. If I would've just listened to him and let him explain everything then it wouldn't have to come to this."

My chest started to hurt from the sobs that were racking at my ribs and I gasped for air, "I'm so stupid," I barely managed to whisper, "Why do I always have to be the one to mess everything up? I could've stayed for his sake, but I didn't because I'm a selfish human being," the wind hit me again and I started to find it hard to breathe from how cold it made me, "Say something, mom," I stammered, trying to find my voice to keep speaking, "Just say something, please?" I ran my fingers over her name while I sobbed uncontrollably, "I need you now more than ever."

There was nothing but pure silence except for the raindrops hitting the ground and the thunder that roared over my head. I wanted to talk to her and for her to give me advice about what I should do now since I seemed to have managed to ruin everything. I guess I deserved not being able to talk to my mom, too.

"I want you back, mom," I knew it was another selfish request, but it was all I could think of saying at this point. And it was true, I did want her back. Now that I knew what Paul was hiding and now that I knew why he broke up with me all I needed was for someone to tell me what I should do next. And that someone was my mom.

My whole body seemed to give out at that point and I felt my head make contact with the wet grass. My teeth kept chattering as the rain beat against my back and every part of me was trembling. Black spots started to cover my eyes.

"Talk back to me," I whispered as the spots started to grow bigger and as the gravestone started to fade away.

Before I let the darkness engulf me, a filmy figure seemed to appear in front of me. I wasn't sure if it was real or if I was just imagining things, but right now it was there, smiling at me. The only explanation I could come up with for this was that I was dying and my mom was welcoming me into heaven. Either that or I was going insane.

"I love you," I barely managed to form the words on my lips. And just then, everything turned black.

***

The darkness was a peaceful place filled with nothing but melodic voices that repeated my name over and over again. I didn't have any control over my body which was half the reason why I felt at ease right now. And every time those voices would say my name I would try to say something back, but I didn't even have enough strength to make my lips move.

Something changed a couple minutes later and I was no longer as calm as I was before. I could only describe the change as being extremely warm. The rest was a blur. My eyes were too heavy for me to attempt to see what was happening and my left hand was too numb for me to grasp the warmth that was covering every other part of me except for that one spot. I wanted to go back to the peace and quiet the darkness provided me with instead of the white light that I seemed to be heading towards.

There was only one voice I could hear now, but it was muffled and I couldn't make out what it was trying to say to me. The bitter cold was starting to fade and the warmth soon became the only thing I could feel. Again, I tried to open my eyes, but they refused to let me look to see what was going on. I also tried to move any part of my body, a finger or maybe even a toe, but that didn't seem like it was going to happen either.

"Stay…me…Sammy," the voice seemed to say, but I could only hear bits and pieces of what it was saying now.

I soon came to the realization that I was breathing and I could smell a familiar scent burning in my nose. So, this isn't heaven after all?

"…Almost there," they told me.

I wanted to know what was going on, like now! It wasn't enough that I wasn't dead, I had to be stuck not knowing where I was or who I was with too. And then the warmth was gone for a long time. I wanted to protest and tell it to come back, but nothing, not even a small little noise, came out of my mouth.

Sometime later on though, it returned and I absorbed all of the warmth that I could possibly get right now. The melodic voices returned soon after that and even though I didn't know who it was that was talking at the moment, they sounded extremely worried when they started speaking.

A bed of sweat seemed to start to form on my head when I finally started to understand what they were talking about.

"Where was she?" one said.

"In the cemetery, by her mom's grave," the other responded and I tried to decipher who it was. It was on the tip of my tongue…

My thoughts were interrupted by something hot, "She has a fever."

"I'm not surprised," someone stated, "She stayed out in the freezing cold rain the whole night."

The voice next to me sighed loudly and I could feel their breath on my neck, "Wake up, please Sammy," that's when it finally came to me. It was Jacob.

I tried to say something out loud to him, but no words would form and I made an effort to open my eyes, but they were still too heavy. I couldn't bear to hear him sound so worried. All I wanted to do was tell him that I was ok.

"Is Paul coming?" Jake asked.

"He's on his way," I heard him -Sam I came to realize- answer.

"Where did he go last night?"

I tried to pay as much attention as I could because supposedly Paul left without telling anyone where he was running off to.

"I'm not sure," Sam sounded frustrated, "He sure is good at hiding his thoughts from us. Hell, the only thing I could figure out was that it had something to do with her, no surprise there."

I almost forgot about the one story where the wolves could hear each other's thoughts. It was obvious to me where he went, but they seemed flustered by the fact that they couldn't figure it out. I was suddenly grateful that he didn't let any of the guys know about our clubhouse because I liked that we had our own private spot no one else knew existed.

"Why isn't she waking up?!" Jake hand grabbed my hand and I tried to squeeze his palm to let him know that I was ok, but it didn't work because he didn't seem to react in any way. Ugh, why can't this numbness go away already?

"Give her time," Sam said.

I thought about how much Sam has been helping me lately. First he calmed down Paul for me and now he's calming down Jake for me. I hate to say it but…maybe deep down Sam really is a good person. Oh wow that's a first. I don't think I've ever said good and Sam in the sentence before. Actually, I know that I've never come close to saying that Sam was a good person.

My state of shock was interrupted by Jacob's warm hand which he placed on my cheek. I couldn't take this anymore. I had to let them know that I was fine.

With all the strength I had in me I started to try to open up my eyes one by one slowly. I started to feel my eyelids do as I told them to do, so I flexed my fingers and my toes next. Finally I could feel my feet again and my legs. But I could also feel my teeth chattering uncontrollably and I was still shaking.

"Sammy," Jake sighed in relief.

His worried face came into view and I could tell that I was in his living room, on his couch with at least six blankets wrapped around me. My clothes were still drenched with rain water and my hair was a wet mess.

"It's c-cold," I stuttered.

"Sam get more blankets out of the hall way closet," Jacob demanded and Sam actually did as he was told bringing back three more blankets and wrapping me in them.

"Better?" Jacob looked at me with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Don't w-worry about m-me," In an attempted to make me stop stuttering I bit down on my lip hard and closed my mouth.

He pursed his lips, "How can I not be worried when you passed out in the cemetery, Sammy?"

The cemetery, I cringed at the words. They brought a picture back to my mind that made me feel sick to my stomach. There was only one good thing that came out of that question though. I saw her, I think…or else I went insane.

I didn't know what to say next. I couldn't tell them about me possibly seeing my mother's ghost. Then they would for sure put me in a straightjacket.

"I don't k-know…" I mumbled, "I needed to t-t-talk to her," that's all I was going to admit.

His eyes filled with a sadness that I knew very well. It was something no one else could understand, not unless they lost what we both lost.

"In the freezing cold rain?" he knitted his eyebrows together.

Once again, my eyes became heavy. I didn't want to fall asleep, I couldn't fall asleep. Not when there was so much more that needed to be said. Besides, I needed to tell Paul that I could care less if he was a werewolf. He deserved to know the truth.

"I don't want…t-to fall a-asleep," I moaned.

"It'd be better if you did," I heard Sam say from across the room. I had almost forgotten that he was here.

"Fine," my voice grew weaker, "Tell…P-Paul…" my eyelids were halfway closed at this point and my voice trailed off into nothing.

"Tell him what?" Jacob questioned.

I forced my eyes to stay open for just one more second, "That I d-don't care," I took in a deep breath, "I s-still love him…," I was fighting as hard as I could to stay awake, but it was too much for me and the only word I managed to blurt out next was, "…werewolf," before I let my eyes close.

***

"_Samantha," I heard my name being called. No one ever called me by my full name; everyone knew that they should just call me Sammy. The only person I could think of who would call me by my full name is…_

"_Sean?" I could see him now, only about ten feet away from me. _

_We were standing in the middle of the forest - random I know- facing each other. I felt myself fill with pure anger and rage that he was still here in La Push._

"_Why didn't you bother to listen to me when I said go back to New York?" I asked, the anger seeping through my harsh tone._

_He smirked at me, "My plans changed."_

_I raised one eyebrow, "Did they now?" _

_He took a few steps forward so gracefully that I could've sworn he was gliding on ice or something, but when I looked around there was nothing but green grass. As he got closer to me I could make out the details of his face which seemed…perfect?_

_He was extremely pale compared to the tan he used to get pissed about if it seemed a little too light and his eyes were a strange red shade. The eerie look he gave me with those crimson eyes made me take a step backward._

"_What are your new plans?" I asked like the idiot I was._

_He shrugged, keeping the smirk on his lips as he did it, "I was thinking about maybe changing my diet…" his eyes wandered a little before they set back on me._

"_So you're staying here because you're becoming a vegetarian?" I never really realized how dumb I acted in dreams than I did in real life. It almost seemed like I was losing brain cells every second. _

"_Not exactly," he replied emphasizing on the first syllable of exactly. Weirdo…_

"_Alright," I nodded my head, taking two more steps backwards since he now managed to creep me out. Way to go Sean. _

_He noticed that I was trying to get away from him so he chuckled and moved so quickly that I had to blink a couple of times to make sure that he was really standing one inch away from me now, with his hand clasped around my throat._

"_Oh, Samantha," he sighed dramatically, "You don't get it do you?"_

"_Obviously not," I scoffed at him. Well it looks like I haven't lost my beautiful way with words._

"_Maybe this will help you understand," he cocked his head to the side and leaned in closer to me, his mouth opening and his sharp teeth now half a centimeter away from my skin._

_The words rang over and over again in my head like a siren. Cold one, vampire, Sean! He was a freaking vampire!_

_My eyes widened and before I could even scream his teeth bit into my skin._

"What the fuck?!" my body shot upright and my chest heaved up and down. I couldn't even begin to describe what was running through my mind right at that moment. It didn't matter that everyone, including Paul, was now looking at me like I just saw a ghost. But no, I didn't see any ghosts. I saw Sean as a freaking cold one! Also known as a vampire which better translates into a deadly thing that can suck you dry and do freaky things to you!

Something warm touched my hand and I snatched my arm away defensively.

"Bad dream?" Paul asked, his tone so calm that I tried to make myself calm down.

"The worst," I stared wide eyed at all of the blankets that were covering me, "Sean was a…thing…" I couldn't even say the word out loud. It was too much for me to even be talking about Sean right now.

"Ok, what kind of thing?" he sounded patient which I was thankful for. I didn't feel like being laughed at. My eyes went around the whole room, looking at all of the russet colored faces that didn't seem to find it funny either.

"Cold one," I muttered, trying to make it so that they wouldn't understand. I couldn't be modern and say vampire because that would make this all way too real and I didn't want that. He wasn't a vampire…he was just blood shot Sean.

Hey that's a good nickname…

"You've got to be kidding me," Paul whispered next to me. I thought that maybe he heard my thoughts and found out that I made a new name for Sean, but his shocked expression told me differently.

I put both of my hands on either sides of his face, ignoring the fact that I was still trembling, "It was just a dream," a nightmare was more like it.

"I don't know…" he shook his head and kept his stare away from mine.

"Sam?" wait, what? Sam?! Was I really willing to talk to Sam Uley?! Ok, the world must be coming to an end. I turned my gaze onto him, "It can't be real can it?"

He looked at me just as shocked as I was right now, "There's always a possibility."

I closed my eyes and my hands dropped back to my sides. I couldn't care less that I was still wet. None of that mattered. The only thing that was on my mind was the dream.

"Don't worry about it right now," Sam reassured me, "If he is the one who's been circling around La Push then we'll be sure to catch him."

So vampires are what they've been trying to catch all along? Well that doesn't surprise me. I mean since I know that they're all werewolves and that vampires are their sworn enemy, then of course that's what they would be trying to catch.

"But you haven't caught him yet," I pointed out.

"Have a little faith, Sammy," Jacob added from the sidelines, "We're doing the best we can."

I sighed and slumped back down onto the pillow my head was previously resting on, "Why can't he just go away?" I mumbled to myself.

"I don't know, but I wish he would," my eyes went to Paul and it didn't really surprise me to find him shaking.

"Wow, you look like me," I said, stupidly. His gaze finally met mine and I pressed our arms together to compare who was shaking more, "I think you win."

He chuckled and as soon as he did his trembling lessened.

I needed to talk to him…alone.

"We're out," Jacob said, heading into the kitchen with Sam following right behind him. It was like he read my mind. Maybe I should just thank him in my mind too. I wonder if that would work since it seemed to be pretty effective.

"You're freezing," Paul told me, looking down at our arms that were still touching each other.

"It's nothing," I rolled my eyes.

"Sure it isn't," he picked me up with no effort at all and sat on the couch, placing me in his laps. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into his chest because the warmth felt so good, "Does that help?" he questioned.

"More than you know," I said.

I didn't know what I should say first, that I was stupid for running away like I did or that I didn't care that he was a werewolf.

"Paul-,"

"I know," he interrupted me; "You don't care. You can thank Jacob for that one."

Alright well that was a lot easier than I thought it would be, "I never should've walked off like I did," I paused waiting for him to interfere again, but he didn't. So I decided to continue, "I was so stupid for not just telling you what was bothering me. But it was a lot to take in at once. First I find out you imprinted on me and then I find out that I was the one whose fault it was."

"Wait," he stopped me from continuing, "None of that was your fault. It was my mistake, not yours."

"Listen, Paul," I shook my head, "I hurt you so much worse than you hurt me. I mean you just found out that I was your soul mate and I ran away. I made your world go out of order. And Emily told me how you acted while I was gone and it just made me think that I was the jerk in this whole situation, not you. You were only protecting me."

He buried his face in my wet hair, "Don't start blaming yourself, Sammy. I don't ever want you to think that way."

"Ok, fine, but I do. I feel terrible."

His grip tightened around my waist and I finally stopped shivering, "I love you more than anything and you being at fault for all of this never cross my mind for one second," he took a breath before continuing, "Sure, I was depressed, but I fought because I knew that since we were destined to be together then you would come back, whether that be ten years," I cringed at the thought, "Or three years."

I tried to wrap my head around what he was saying to me, "So, you don't like me any less because of what I did?"

He sighed loudly, "No," he answered simply, "I get why you did it."

I closed my eyes and smiled, "You're too perfect, Paul."

"Oh believe me I have some flaws."

"Like?" I questioned, truly believing that he couldn't have any.

"Fur and a tail," he mumbled, sniffing my wet hair which probably smelled gross.

"Oh wow, big deal," I rolled my eyes.

Paul chuckled, "You are so delusional."

"Am I really, though?"

"Yes," he replied.

"I am hurt!" I said sarcastically, "Some soul mate you are!"

I didn't have to look at him to know that he was rolling his eyes right now. I'd be surprised if he didn't roll his eyes at that.

He raised my hand slightly and started playing with my fingers and tracing patterns up and down each of my arms, causing me to shiver.

"Why did you go to the cemetery?" his question slightly caught me off guard.

As he started to twirl my hair around his finger I answered him, "I needed to talk to her," I admitted, not afraid to tell him the truth, "I mean I just found out that you were a werewolf and that you imprinted on me. She was probably the only one I could talk to at the time."

He kissed the side of my head, "I should've kept myself under control."

"Shut up," I demanded, "And stop being such a masochist."

"Feisty," he growled playfully in my ear, "I like it."

"I'm sure you do," my eyebrows raised, "So, tell me something."

"Hm?" he seemed to be paying more attention to my hands rather than what I was saying.

"What's it like? Turning into a wolf I mean," my curiosity was blazing inside of me and I turned my head in his direction to see what he would say.

He pondered the question for a couple minutes before answering, "At first it's painful, but once you get used to it it's almost like…" he tried to find the right word to describe the feeling, "Shedding skin."

"And you can hear each other's thoughts?" I said just to be sure that I was correct. Or else Jacob and Sam were really really good at guessing what other people are thinking.

"Yeah, but only when we're in our wolf form. It's not something I like, but it helps us when we're trying to catch bloodsuckers."

I smiled at the word. Bloodsuckers, it has a nice ring to it, "Sam and Jake were talking about how you hid your thoughts from them?"

"I didn't want them to find out where I was. I just wanted to be alone."

I buried my face under his arm, "I'm glad you didn't let them know about that."

"They don't need to know about it," he rubbed my arm with his hand, "It'll be our little secret."

Secret, the word repeated over and over again in my mind. Finally there were none between the two of us. Which made keeping one from everyone else seem a lot easier than it sounded. I love being on this side of the fence.

**Twists are coming guys...twists are coming (and i do not mean twizzlers or any sort of candy that involves twists) **

**WEEE!!!! i'm tired. **

**Oh great...one more thing**

**since my violin teacher didn't bother to tell me until TODAY that i had to learn this big huge hard song in less than two weeks i'm not sure when my next update will be. So it's going to be hardcore violin practicing all next week for me...(ugh) i'd rather be writing believe me. So don't get your hopes up too much for an update anytime soo because i can't guarantee that i will have enough time to write. (NOOO!!!)**

**MACBETH SHOULD KILL MY VIOLIN TEACHER! (sorry for the violence Macbeth and violin don't mix)**

**yours truly, **

**KK**


	25. 24 Cranberry Massacre

Chapter 24

Cranberry Massacre

**-2 weeks later-**

Things are finally calm. Well, things with me and Paul are calm. I can't really say that the pack running double the patrols in order to keep the bloodsuckers away from La Push is something calm. But I guess the fact that I finally know what they're all doing when they mysteriously disappear half naked is a plus too. The negatives seemed to weigh out the positives in that area. They weren't finding much, though, which is strange since Paul tells me their built for tracking down vampires. Each and every one of them had their own theories about why they couldn't kill them once and for all. The only one I could believe was true was that they had some sort of gift. I heard the stories about the cold ones having extra abilities and to me that's the only thing that would make sense. Most of the others agree with me on that.

But there was something that they all disagreed with. It was my theory. The one that states that Sean was one of them. I believed that in the course of when we broke up to when the nightmares started, he was changed. My continuing nightmares make me think that I'm right about that. Paul wasn't too thrilled about that theory like the rest of them. But I'm not surprised because if he was changed, then he could possibly want something or someone…

I'm not going to name any names…ha…

Paul and I were becoming attached at the hip once again, as Jared puts it. But now we were more than just best friends. We were soul mates. From the beginning I always kind of knew he was the one. I mean I know I was only in the first grade and the only thing I truly knew was my ABC's, but feeling like I could tell him everything and knowing that he wouldn't judge me for it was always something we shared. From the first day we met to the present we've had a connection no one else could have. And now that everything was out in the open things can only get better from here on out…hopefully…

"Sammy?"

My eyes shot up when the voice I memorized as being Paul's called me.

"Hm?" I replied.

My eyes stared him up and down while he stood in front of the couch with only a pair of cut off shorts on. His perfected muscles had me drooling. Yuck…

"Are you ok?"

I grinned, "Yeah, I'm ok, just thinking that's all."

He walked over to the couch and sat on the side across from me, his body facing mine. I had missed him this morning since he was out patrolling the early shift. The bright side was that I had him all to myself today.

Our eyes met and I felt tingly like I always did, "Find anything?" I wondered.

He shook his head without saying a word, "Right when we start to enclose on them they manage to escape," his eyebrows creased in frustration and his eye contact drifted. He shook his head from side to side which I knew meant that he was thinking about something else since he didn't look at me.

"What is it?" I asked skeptically.

His expression was blank, "It's nothing…"

"Yeah because that's totally believable," I rolled my eyes.

"I don't want to worry you."

"And you think that not telling me would make me any less worried?"

He peered up at me for a second and I begged with my eyes –which I knew would work- for him to tell me the truth. His lips turned down in a slight frown and he signed in defeat, "There's another one of them. We picked up a new scent this morning."

"Are you sure it's a vampire?"

He nodded, "Positive."

My eyes darted in every direction possible, "He wants me."

"It's not Sean."

"How could you be so sure?"

He shuddered, "They were just nightmares, Sammy."

"Yeah, and I've had dreams like this before. Like the one of the huge grey wolf. That turned out to be true."

His expression hardened and he hesitated to reply, "This one isn't."

"Why not?"

"Just stop it!" he shouted over me.

I was finally able to turn my gaze away from him. I wasn't affected by his tone because I knew how frustrated he gets when he's scared. I was just as scared as he was. Only he was denying the possible truths while I was embracing them.

"I don't mean to sound angry," he pointed out.

"I know."

He moved a little closer to me and closed the space between us, brushing my hair out of my face, "Let's not think about it right now, not until we know the truth."

I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, "I can deal with that."

He chuckled and pecked me on the lips, "I'm changing the subject now," he grinned, "It's only nine, are you hungry?"

I shrugged one shoulder, "I guess so."

Paul grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen, making me sit at the table while he went to the counter.

"Since when did you know how to cook?"

"Since I bought a house and moved in with Jared, must I explain any further?"

I laughed, "No, proceed."

Jared wasn't exactly one for cooking. You tell him to put only the egg whites in the cake mix and he puts in the egg shells thinking that's what we meant by whites. Yes, that's how terrible he is.

"So, what are you making?"

"Sausage and pancakes," he answered simply as he ran around the kitchen and gathered up all of his ingredients for the pancakes while the sausages started to sizzle on the frying pan.

"Sounds yummy," I watched him with a huge smile on my face. This was a side of him that I never thought I'd see, "Your mom must be proud."

"She and Emily let me help with Thanksgiving last year," he glanced at me over his shoulder, "We call it the cranberry massacre."

I chuckled, "Why?"

"Well, let's put it this way. It involved Jared with a bowl of cranberry sauce, Embry's foot, and a bunch of temperamental werewolves."

I could see it happening. Jared walking in the kitchen; Jared being the idiot he was and not seeing Embry placing his foot in front of him so he would fall. Jared actually falling flat on his face; and Jared feeling the wrath of werewolves after cranberry sauce is dumped all over them.

"Sounds like fun," I said.

He poured the batter he previously mixed up onto another frying pan and flipped the sausages in the other one.

"So, I guess Jared and Kim are going to be ordering take out for the rest of their lives," I predicted since neither of them knew how to cook a decent meal.

"I guess so," he put out two more frying pans and dumped a bunch of more sausages on one and poured the biggest pancake known to man on the other.

"Damn, werewolves really eat for a family of five, huh?"

"Yup," he said, popping his "p."

I shook my head, "There are starving people in the world…"

"Which is why we don't waste anything," he looked at me with a smug expression on his face and I rolled my eyes.

"Meany."

He ignored my comment as he flipped each pancake. When he started to place about six huge pancakes and nine sausages on one plate my eyes widened. He moved to mine and placed only one normal sized pancake on it, doing something weird with the sausage to mine.

I couldn't help but stare at him. He was so gorgeous that I couldn't even believe I was still conscious at this point. And my heart didn't even stop when I realized that he was all mine again.

He made eye contact with me and smiled, bringing the two plates over to the table and placing one in front of me. I started to laugh when I saw a smiley face formed out of sausages on my pancake.

"That's a pathetic smiley face," I commented while he sat next to me, "But it's still cute."

"Well cute is better than nothing," he said as he took a bite of his breakfast.

It took Paul a while until he was finally full. He actually went back for seconds if you can believe it. I really can't seem to grasp that concept at the moment.

We ended up going up to Paul's room after breakfast because he said he wanted to show me something. I agreed with a suspicious look on my face.

"Sit right here," he pointed towards the ground next to the big bed…the big bed which would've made a lot more sense to sit on. Then he was out of the room in a flash. I waited in complete confusion for about two minutes until he was back with a stack of photo albums in his hands.

"What's all of this?" I questioned with a smile on my face.

He dropped them right in front of me and sat next to me, "Pictures of us," he grabbed one of the albums and opened it up.

"You kept all of these?"

"Of course I did. I wouldn't be able to get rid of them even if I wanted to."

The first couple of pictures were really really old. Wow we had to be in second grade or something?

"I remember this one," he pointed to one of the two of us where we had our arms slung over each other's shoulder. In the background was the old park down by the school. I'm pretty sure it was knocked down a while ago, "We used to pretend we were superheroes here."

"Yeah," I grinned, "We'd slide down the slides and think that was how we flew. And sometimes I'd electrocute you with my powers."

"And I'd repel the electricity cause I had the shielding power," he chuckled.

"Well at least one of us is a superhero. That dream will never come true for me."

"Don't feel bad, being a werewolf isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway."

He flipped the page again and we reminisced on all of our childhood memories while we looked at each picture. It took us about an hour just to get through the first one which was mostly pictures of us when we were just little kids. The second album started at when we were twelve and went on from there.

"Remember this Halloween?" I pointed to the picture of us two in our costumes.

He started cracking up and so did I, "Yeah, we dressed as hobos and went trick or treating with bags that said 'will stop ringing doorbell for candy.'"

"That was probably the most creative we've ever been during Halloween."

"It was pretty epic."

We started to get into our high school years next and I blushed when I saw myself in one of the first pictures. I was wearing a red dress and it was homecoming. I couldn't believe how much makeup I was wearing.

"Oh God," I groaned as more and more of those homecoming pictures popped up. Some of them were of me and Paul and some of them were us two with Jared as well.

"I was going to ask you to go with me," Paul blurted out causing my head to turn in his direction.

"You were?"

He nodded with a sheepish grin on his face, "I couldn't build up enough courage to actually do it though."

"Why?"

"I was afraid you would reject me," he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, "No one likes rejection."

"Well I wouldn't reject you, Paul. You know that."

"Yeah, but I also thought about how it could ruin our friendship if I told you I liked you more than a friend. So that was also part of the reason why I didn't ask you."

I locked my eyes with his, "You really liked me back then?"

He nodded, "I've loved you all along."

His face inched closer to mine and just as our lips were about to touch I turned my head and grinned smugly, "Well that's good to know."

"You're not even gonna kiss me?"

I shook my head, "Patience, Paul. I'm saving that for later."

"Alright," he kissed my cheek, "I guess I'll have to settle for this until later."

"I guess so," I replied.

We kept flipping through the pages, staring at each and every one of the pictures thoughtfully and letting the memories flood through our minds.

It was around noon when we decided we needed to get out of the house for a little while. So we headed for our clubhouse and hung out there for a little while. And instead of driving there we walked on foot because we wanted more time to talk to each other. I let him tell me more stories about him and the pack and I let him know about what I did in New York. Basically the whole day was a catching up sort of day.

We walked down the ladder of the clubhouse after a couple of hours of us talking.

"So, you dreamed about me a lot in New York?"

Ugh, this is embarrassing, "Yeah," I kept my head down as I felt my cheeks starting to turn red. We started to walk away from our clubhouse.

"Well at least I know you thought about me as much as I thought about you."

Bringing up New York reminded me of what Paul told me this morning. There was a new addition into the mysterious group of vampires that no one seems to be able to catch. Sean was the only one I could suspect as being the addition. Why else would I have these nightmares? I mean they had to be telling me something. If not that Sean was a vampire then at least something about the other vampires.

"I told you, you would worry," he sighed loudly.

I guess my expression said it all even though I wasn't even aware that I was wearing a worried expression, "It's only natural for me to do it."

"I still don't think it's him."

"I do," I said, "I can feel it."

He flinched, "Sean went back to New York."

"You don't know that."

He took my hand in his and led me through the trees while he spoke to me, "Even if it was him, why do you think he wants you?"

"Because he knows who you are," I closed my eyes, "And he's going to think that I left him for you when the real reason why I left him was because I was unhappy."

"Don't think about it anymore, Sammy," he pulled me closer to him, "I won't let anything hurt you."

"Alright fine," I gave up on my theory for the time being since he wanted me to.

We managed to make it out of the woods in one piece and just as we started to walk down the road it started to rain. The water was coming down in buckets and Paul was about to run, but I tugged his arm backward. He turned around when he noticed my hesitation.

"You're going to get sick," he commented.

I shook my head, "I couldn't care less."

He smiled at me and we started walking hand in hand again. It took about two minutes for us to be completely soaked. But we didn't care. I jumped into a huge puddle and we both started to laugh with each other.

When our fit of laughter died down we made eye contact with each other. Sparks were burning inside of me as I started to get lost in his deep pools of brown. He was still the most gorgeous human being alive even though he was drenched. I couldn't contain the sparks any longer. So I let them take over and I was the one to close the space between us this time. He weaved his fingers through my hair and pressed his warm lips against my wet and cold ones. Our lips moved in synchronicity with each other and he deepened the kiss.

That one kiss meant everything to me. It meant that I was finally whole again and it also meant that I did have a chance at happiness. And as long as I knew that much, I could survive in this world.


	26. 25 Let the Hunt Begin

**yay!! another update for all of you!! :D **

**i'm so attached to this story that i thought about it the whole time i was at my aunt's wedding lmao **

**yes i am a nerd. Ughh i'm not going to be able to check my email until after school cause the stupid school blocked my email (which is stupid cause i made the account with the school so it's like wtf?)**

**alright so here's your twisty twist twist i hope you like it...or love it...or adore it...**

_

* * *

_

_Give me a shot to remember,  
And you can take all the pain away from me.  
A kiss and I will surrender,  
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.  
A light to burn all the empires,  
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be  
In love with all of these vampires,  
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

_There's a place in the dark where the animals go,  
You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow.  
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands,  
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands Romeo._

**_The Sharpest Lives, My Chemical Romance_**

* * *

Chapter 25

Let the Hunt Begin

Paul picked up his car keys and headed for the front door while I just stood there; ready to protest against his suggestion.

"I have my license," I stated, "And a pretty decent car, so can I drive myself to work now?"

He looked at me over his shoulder and smiled, "It's a lot safer this way."

"I'm pretty sure I won't get eaten by vampires."

"Better safe than sorry," he lowered his head and peered up at me with puppy dog eyes.

I wasn't going to give in. Do not give in Sammy, "That's just cruel," I narrowed my gaze, trying to resist how innocent he looked right now even though he was over six feet tall and packed with muscles, "Stop it!" I protested.

He shook his head at me, "Come on," he took one step forward and reached his hand out to take mine, "Please?" he begged, pouting his lower lip.

I scowled, "Damn you and your puppy dog eyes," I grabbed his hand and he smiled from ear to ear, pecking me on my cheek and leading me out the door.

I slowly got into the car and put my seatbelt on because I still didn't like the idea of me being driven to work like a child. I was confident that I wouldn't be followed by any bloodthirsty vampires, but Paul seemed to think differently. I've come to the realization that he's very overprotective of me.

"I'll be there to pick you up when your shift's over," Paul said with a smug expression on his face.

He was so going to pay for this later, "Ok, Dad."

"Don't get yourself into too much trouble now."

Oh, yes he was going to regret this. I kept shaking my head back and forth in frustration. I get why he's doing this, but I think he's taking these precautions a little too far. If I find out that Kim isn't being driven everywhere by Jared then I'm going to have to take drastic measures…

"Don't be mad."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you."

I pursed my lips, "If you really loved me then you would let me drive myself to work like a normal human being."

"I thought you'd realize by now that I don't do things normally."

"No, I just guessed that you would try to do things normally so you wouldn't look like such an overprotective werewolf."

"Love you too," he chuckled.

"I'm glad you find this funny," I said sarcastically.

He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it lightly. My anger faded away as soon as his lips were no longer touching my skin.

"Is it so wrong for me to worry about you?" he asked.

I sighed in defeat because I knew that I couldn't stay mad at him when he did things like this to me, "I guess not," I replied in a low tone.

"Ok then," his words indicated that this argument was over with.

I stared out of the window and watched the green fly by us as we got closer to Port Angeles. The grace and beauty of this place never seemed to stop amazing me. It was one of my favorite things about La Push; it wasn't like any other place in the world. This place was unique in more than one way, though. Not only was the nature beautiful, but the people are also amazing here. It's not like New York where you have to know what's hot and what's not and if you didn't then you'd automatically be an outcast. I was probably considered an outcast in New York.

My eyes caught a glimpse of something that didn't belong. I stared at it out of the windshield and as we got closer to it, it became more familiar. My body started to sink into the seat when I saw his pale skin and red eyes. A smirk was planted on his face and he was staring at me. I stared at him when he was right next to my window, ready for an attack or something terrible to happen. In preparation for the blow I closed my eyes tight and bit my tongue so that I wouldn't scream or show any sign of weakness.

"Sammy?" Paul questioned, "Is something wrong?"

My brows knitted together in confusion because of how calm he was. The fact that there was no sort of panic in his voice made me open my eyes. I looked all around me and realized that we were both fine and there was no cracked windows or blood. Cautiously, I looked in the side view mirror to see if he was still standing there in the same place he was before, but nothing was there, nothing but pure green grass.

"Sammy?" Paul's voice grew more frantic now.

"I'm f-fine," damn it why did I have to stutter.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and of course he was staring at me with that concerned look on his face, "You sure?"

"Yeah," I answered a little too quickly which made him grow suspicious.

The rest of the ride there I thought about what that could've been. He couldn't have really been standing there or else Paul would've smelled it and done something about it. But he was staring at me…smirking. I felt a shiver run up and down my spine when the mental image of him entered into my thoughts.

"Something's bothering you," I didn't even notice that we were stopped until I looked at Paul and saw that his hands were no longer on the steering wheel.

"No, I'm fine really," I smiled reassuringly and put on the happiest face I could manage, "I'll see you after work, ok?"

He tried to read my expression to make sure that I wasn't lying and I forced a huge smile on my face to make it look even more convincing, "Alright," he said.

I kissed him on the lips for a second, "Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it," he smiled as I pulled away, "Have fun at work."

"You know I won't," I rolled my eyes and opened my door.

With one more quick goodbye and another convincing smile I got out of the car and waited for him to pull away before I headed for the gallery. I sighed in relief. It was shocking to me that I actually pulled off looking like I was happy when in reality I was freaking out. I glanced down for a moment, realizing that I was shaking now.

"It wasn't real," I whispered to myself while I started to walk towards the gallery.

For some strange reason I felt like I was being watched. So I looked to my right and then my left before I looked in front of me. It was the same pair of crimson eyes that were staring at me again. My pace slowed down until I was no longer walking.

I shut my eyelids tight, "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real," I counted to five in my head and repeated to words to myself before I opened my eyes again. He still stood there staring at me, his eyes burning through my skin. My head was telling me to run as fast as I possibly could, but unfortunately my legs didn't feel like listening. So I stayed on my side of the street while he stayed on his.

The one thing that surprised me though was that Sean wasn't moving towards me. I should be dead at this point. He was fast, he could kill me in a matter of seconds, but no he just stood there smirking at me.

He suddenly winked at me and before I knew it a car sped down the street and he was gone again. I blinked a couple of times in a complete daze. I became aware of reality right then and there. My mind was playing tricks on me and making me see things that weren't really there. It was the only thing that could be true. It was the only thing I wanted to be true.

I made my way across the street slowly and scanned my surroundings to make sure that he wouldn't pop up again. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest and I was breathing heavily. As soon as my feet touched the sidewalk I sprinted into the gallery and headed behind the front desk. I stared out the window for what seemed like forever and when something cold touched my hand I jumped and squeaked.

I cursed to myself in my head when I realized that it was just Maggie. Ugh, I'm losing it. I'm really really losing it.

She stared at me with wide eyes for a minute, "I'm ok," I assured her.

She nodded once before saying what she needed to say, "I don't know if you've seen yet, but one of your paintings is no longer here."

Shit, I knew Embry was going to get me fired sooner or later, "I'm sorry, I-,"

"Sorry?" she looked puzzled by my statement, "There's no reason to be sorry dear. Actually I wanted to congratulate you."

"What?" ok…so I didn't get fired?

"Your painting…," she explained, "Someone bought it."

I felt my heart literally stop now. I looked at the wall to make sure that she was telling me the truth and low and behold there was an empty space on the wall where the painting of the grey wolf should be.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yes, really," she chuckled, "Congratulations, Sammy. The money will be added onto your next pay check."

No, this couldn't be true…she had to be messing with me right now. Yeah, she had to be. It was probably stolen and she's just trying to tell me that it was purchased so that I wouldn't feel bummed out about it.

"Look at you Picasso!" Dana nudged me and I managed to take my mind off the fact that I was going crazy, "Congratulations girl!"She grinned and pulled me into a hug.

"So, it's true?"

"Of course it's true!" Dana pulled away from me for a second and looked at me like I was nuts. Great, I really am insane, "You don't seem happy about it."

"I am happy, really. It's just surprising," It was taking me a while to wrap my mind around all of this. I wonder who bought it anyways, "Did you happen to find out who the buyer was?"

"Nope, Maggie told me it was an anonymous buyer," she shrugged.

Uh huh, anonymous. Why do I suddenly get the feeling that I know who bought it?

"Crap he's going to be here in less than five minutes," Dana exclaimed, pulling me out of my questioning thoughts.

"Who?"

She looked at me sheepishly, "Embry," she mumbled but I knew exactly what she said.

"Embry Call?!" I shouted, causing a few heads to turn.

A huge smiled was plastered on her face as she put on some shiny lip gloss. Oh God… she really didn't know what she was getting into did she?

"What about work?"

"My shifts basically over."

"Is this a date?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Did he ask you or did you ask him?"

"He asked me."

"And you said yes?!"

"Yes."

"Are you high?!"

She stopped doing what she was doing and her eyes narrowed at me, "No I am not high thank you very much."

"Well I mean come on its Embry…" as in the guy who acts like he's five.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ok, she obviously didn't know about that side of him, "Nothing…nothing at all."

Dana shook her head at me and got back to getting ready for her date –cringe- with Embry Call –hits forehead with hand-

"What brought this on?" I wondered.

"I don't know. We ran into each other a couple of days ago and started talking and we exchanged numbers. Then he called me and we talked some more and then he asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch," she waved her hand around for dramatic effect.

"Wow," I muttered low enough so she couldn't hear.

She was actually putting on makeup for Embry Call. And she was getting nervous about going out with Embry Call.

Ok, stop Sammy. Maybe underneath all of that immaturity there is a romantic side…

…Nah….

"Hey Embry!" Dana sounded really excited. I guess I should stop being so bitter about her going out with him and just deal with it. I mean for all I know he could've imprinted on her…Shit….

I raised my head and stared him down as he walked towards us, "Hey ladies," he replied.

I scoffed at him for calling me a lady. I can already see how this date is going to turn out. He's going to eat a bunch of hamburgers and gross Dana out. Oh man…

"I'll be right back I just got to grab my coat and purse," good let me talk some sense into him.

As soon as she was out of hearing range I began my lecture, "You better behave."

"You know I will."

"No, I don't actually," I glanced over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't coming back yet. This was a question that she couldn't hear, "Did you…imprint on her?" I whispered.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

That definitely means he did, "If you hurt her I'll kick your ass."

"I won't hurt her," he rolled his eyes; "She's my imprint for God's sake."

Ok, that was something I needed to hear, "Aww little Embry imprinted," I teased.

"Hold the applause, please."

I rolled my eyes at him. When I saw that she still wasn't coming I figured I'd continue on with asking this one question, "Did you happen to smell any…" I mouthed the word 'bloodsuckers,' "…when you came here?"

His face grew serious, "No, why did you see one?"

I couldn't say yes or else he'd immediately go tell Paul or something like that. Besides, it was probably my mind playing tricks on me like I said before, "No, just checking."

"Let's go," right on time.

I watched the two of them as they headed out the door, "You kids be good now you hear?!"

They both glared at me and I couldn't help but laugh at them. To think that Embry actually imprinted was weird. And the fact that he imprinted on Dana was even weirder.

My eyes soon wandered back to the wall where only one of my paintings hung now. I had my suspicions about who could've purchased, but who knows my assumptions could be wrong. It was a huge possibility that they were. And there was a huge part of me that wanted the buyer to be a stranger. I guess I shouldn't be picky about that though.

I saw someone with light brown hair walk over to the left wall and with their back turned towards me; they stared at the single painting that belonged to me. I watched as the figure's head cocked to the side with his hands in his pockets and his foot tapping lightly on the ground. He was probably the only person in here at the moment along with me. And after about ten minutes of him just staring at my piece I figured I'd be nice.

"Do you need any help, sir?" I asked from across the room.

The man slowly turned around in my direction and I took one step back cautiously when I saw the crimson again. He half smiled at me, but didn't say a word.

"Leave me alone," I barely whispered, "Leave me alone," I repeated again and closed my eyes. I put my hands over my face and shook my head from side to side, "It's not real, it's not real," I counted to ten this time and kept mumbling to myself as I did it, "It's not real!" I shouted.

"What's not real?" a male voice asked and I thought it was Sean so didn't respond.

"Go away!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as tear started to roll down my cheeks, "Just leave me alone!"

The door quickly opened and closed and I heard the man curse at me before he walked away. Shit, it was a real person…

I slowly opened my eyes one by one and once again he wasn't there anymore. The gallery was completely empty. Crap, that's going to get me fired for sure. I quickly wiped my cheeks dry and went back to work. Why am I acting so stupid? He's not here. He can't be here. Embry said he didn't smell anything bad.

It's just my mind messing with me again. That's all it is and that's all it can be.

I shook my head at myself and got back to work. For the rest of my shift I thankfully didn't see him anymore. I managed not to scare anymore people either. So it was pretty peaceful.

I started to hum a tune while I gathered all of my things together. Every couple of seconds I would glance at the left wall just to be sure that he wasn't there. Ugh, why do I have to act so strange all the time? There's something seriously wrong with me. I'm considering going to the doctor to get myself check out for paranoia.

After I managed to get everything together I checked the desk to be sure that I didn't leave anything behind. All that was sitting on it was a bunch of brochures and a newspaper…

My eyes did a double take and I made sure that I was reading the big bold headline correctly. I grabbed the newspaper and read the title to myself,

**INNOCENT HIKER COMPLETELY DRAINED OF BLOOD**

No…

My eyes moved down the page and I skimmed over the article quickly, one single part had me shivering.

'A trail of blood led the investigators to the scene where the man was smeared in his own blood. One sight that seemed to stump everyone was what seemed to be the letter S deliberately written in his own blood on his chest. No one knows who or what might have done this, but it seems appropriate to say who is it targeting?'

S…S…S…

Samantha…

I felt my hands start to tremble and my lips start to quiver. My legs were going to give out from under me any second now.

"Oh my God," I could barely hear myself speak at this point because I was so scared. This was just proof that Sean was one of them. Why else would a vampire write S on a man's chest? It had to be Sean. He knew I would read this and he's targeting me. Sean is trying to kill me…

Never in a million years would I think that something like this would ever, could ever, happen to me. It's just too unreal.

Just then the door opened and my eyes shot up only to see Paul standing there with a smile on his face, but the smile soon turned into a frown when he saw my freaked out expression though.

"He's trying to kill me," I felt tears threatening to escape from my eyes.

Paul put his warm hands on either of my shoulders, "Who is?"

I raised the newspaper and he immediately took it out of my hands and read it over, his hands starting to shake more and more as he got closer to the worst part of the whole thing. Two seconds later I was scooped up into his arms and put into the passenger's seat of his jeep.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, panic seeping into my voice.

"Driving to Sam's house," he answered through clenched teeth.

I knew that if I didn't calm him down then he was going to phase and no one needed him to phase now when we were in a car.

"Paul," I said in the calmest tone I could manage, "Everything's ok," but in reality nothing's ok, "It's going to be ok," no it won't.

His grip loosened on the steering wheel and he looked at me which seemed to calm him down a little.

"I love you," I told him. It was the first time I said it ever since I found out he was a werewolf. And damn did it feel good to say it.

His lips twitched into a slight smile, but the smile didn't last for long, "I love you too," he breathed.

"We'll figure this out," it was hard to say things I wanted him to believe but wasn't sure that I could believe, "It'll be ok," I took his hand in mine and as soon as I did his shaking subsided.

I fought back the tears that were stinging my eyes and I bit my lip so that I wouldn't dare to sob. I was trying to be strong so that he wouldn't phase, but in reality I was scared as hell. Scared because I was being targeted and scared because I knew that the one I was being targeted by was Sean. He wanted to kill me and I knew it. And he wasn't going to stop killing innocent people until he found me. Let the hunt begin…

**ok so i hope you liked it...or loved it...or adored it...or thought it was awesome...**

**or all of the above hehe **

**tell me which you choose- like it, love it, adore it, thought it was awesome, or all of the above lmao**

**give me your opinions in a review**

**and the whole thing where she sees Sean will be explained later in the story**

**that whole situtation reminded me of Macbeth (if you've read it) when he sees Banquo's ghost...**

**sorry i'm getting really into Macbeth now it's like so suspenseful :D**

**soooo REVIEW and updates will come sooner and if you like where this is going then tell me TEEHEE**


	27. 26 Knights in Shining Armor

**i'm soo sorry that i haven't updated in about a week, but i've been extremely busy this week with violin and all this school work :P **

**i don't exactly know when my next update will be because i have so many violin rehersals with this group for something we have to play for so not only is my writing time shot, but my weekend is completely shot too haha **

**but don't worry it will be worth the wait no matter how long that may be **

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* * *

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_Why does it feel like night today?  
Something in here's not right today.  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left_

I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed  
But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head

__

It's like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall

_**Papercut, Linkin Park**_

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Chapter 26

Knights in Shining Armor

My eyes were glued to the newspaper that was crumpled up in between the seats. The ride to Sam and Emily's was quiet so far because I figured that talking about this in the car wouldn't help Paul's temper. And it wouldn't help my sanity either although I was sure that my sanity went downhill from the moment I started seeing Sean everywhere. The image of a huge red S entered my mind and I flinched from the thoughts that soon followed it. My hands held onto each side of the seat I was sitting in and I swallowed the huge lump that was now forming in my mouth. The fear of being targeted was too much to handle let alone the fact that I now knew Sean was a vampire.

My door opened with a creak then and I looked up at Paul's face. His eyebrows were knitted into a hard line as was his lips which made his expression unreadable. If it wasn't for the empty driver's seat next to me I probably wouldn't have thought it was really him. Without speaking, he reached his hand out to take mine and I placed my palm in his oversized one staying silent. In his other hand was the newspaper which was even more crumpled up now because of how much force he was holding it with.

He quickly walked up the stairs and opened the door in what seemed like less than a second. The whole movement was a blur to me and to be honest I wasn't even sure that I had moved at all, not until I saw everyone's faces look up at us. Paul's hand never let go of mine when he went to Sam and handed him the newspaper. All I could do while Sam scanned over the article was try to figure out what Paul was thinking, but he was too good at keeping his emotions a secret from me to come up with anything.

I swear I saw Sam's dark eyes widen for a second while he was skimming it over, but again I wasn't sure because he was too quick about it. His head slowly rose and his grip on the newspaper loosened, making it slide out of his hands. Jacob took it from him before it could touch the ground though.

"What does it mean?" Paul said.

Sam opened his mouth, but no words came out. The fact that Sam didn't say anything seemed to disturb Paul because the next thing I knew he let go of my hand and started pacing back and forth. His temper was getting the best of him again and I knew it.

My throat was becoming clogged with all the things I wanted to say but couldn't. If I did say the things I wanted to say then Paul would try to deny them. But no one else seemed to be able to come up with an explanation so…

"They're targeting me," I stated, my gaze on the floor because I feared of what everyone's faces looked like, "Sean wants to kill me. That's what it means."

"It's not Sean," Paul replied, through clenched teeth.

I glanced at him to see how he looked and as soon as I saw him standing still and shaking with his eyes closed, I looked away. I knew this was going to happen, "There's no other explanation for it. They wouldn't put an S on a man's chest for no reason."

"Sammy you can't be sure they want you," Sam was trying to reason with me, but I was pretty sure that that was only because Paul was on the verge of phasing in his living room.

"Paul told me there was a third one," I stared at Sam while I spoke, "Sean hasn't left for New York yet, I've been having nightmares of him as a vampire, and there was a trail of blood that led to a man completely drained of blood with an S written on his chest," and not to mention seeing him everywhere I go, "What isn't there to be sure about, Sam?"

"The fact that he's not a vampire!" Paul snarled.

I didn't look at Paul, I just watched Sam as his face fell. I was right and he knew it.

"The nightmares could turn out to be just nightmares," Sam pointed out in an attempt to calm Paul down.

"Yeah and the dreams about a grey wolf turned out to be just dreams, right?"

Sam looked away from me.

"That's what I thought," I added.

Suddenly, Paul grabbed both of my arms with trembling hands and he forced me to look him in the eye which looked almost black now, "You have to stop thinking that way, Sammy!" he was trying his best to sound sincere, but it didn't exactly come out that way.

I know I should be trying to calm him down and keep him from turning into a wolf right now, but I couldn't not when he wasn't accepting the truth, "No, Paul," I said, "It's Sean and you know it. You just don't want to believe it because you know that it means that these vampires want me dead."

He flinched and his jaw clenched because he was fighting the urge to growl at my words. Sam took a step closer to us which meant that I wasn't safe.

"Just accept the truth, Paul," I whispered to him and just before he could respond Sam pulled him far away from me. I watched as Paul shook harder than I've ever seen him shake before and when Sam and Jared managed to get him into the backyard I waited to hear him howl.

"He'll be ok," Jake said.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the back door as I thought about how terrible Paul must feel right now. And I could just imagine what he's thinking. The ear piercing howl I was waiting for finally made its appearance and I felt my heart drop from the sound. To think that he's probably blaming himself for this made me feel the urge to go out there and run after him.

"Are you ok, Sammy?" Jacob took a step towards me and put one hand on my forehead.

"She looks pale," Kim commented. I furrowed my eyebrows because of how ridiculous everyone was being.

"I feel fine," I told them.

"I'll go make some tea," Emily rushed into the kitchen.

Jacob stood in front of me with that concerned look in his eyes and I stared at him as he started to become blurry.

"On second thought," I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision, "I'm a little dizzy."

"Sit down," Jake demanded.

I shook my head in denial, "I'll be fine."

"Sure you will."

"Just let me go to the bathroom and I'll be ok," I said. At least let me do that…

"Alright fine," he grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't fall."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm pretty sure I can make it to the bathroom by myself."

"I'm not taking any chances."

Wow, I feel like one of those old people who live in a nursing home. He is going to let me go in there alone right?

He opened the door for me, "Don't fall in."

"Ha, you're so funny, Jacob," I actually appreciated the distractions at the moment.

I first looked at myself in the mirror. Kim was right, I actually did look a little pale and I even felt a little nauseous come to think of it. I pulled the ponytail out of my hair and let it fall onto my shoulders. My hands rested on either side of the sink while I examined myself up and down, unhappy with what I saw. Small bags rested under my eyelids because of the nightmares which left me with about an hour of sleep every night. My lips were formed into a permanent frown and my hair looked like it had been through the ringer.

I groaned and turned on the water, splashing it on my face in hopes of getting a little more color in my cheeks. To know that Sean wants me dead was all too crazy for me to believe. I analyzed the possible outcomes of this situation while I dried my face. The only one that seemed to be rational was that I would end up dead. I wouldn't let any of the pack members die because of me and I couldn't just sit here and watch while he hurt other innocent people. The pack was confident that they could catch them and kill them, but if they could then why are they still alive? So what else could I do?

I'll tell you what else I could do…nothing.

There was only one way this could turn out and that's if I end up dead. Paul wouldn't like it and hell I don't like it either, but it's the only way for things to go back to normal, giving him what he wants is the only way.

I raised my head and when I looked into the mirror the towel fell to the ground. His red eyes burned into my own eyes and his smug expression made all of this seem like some sort of game to him. I didn't look away though.

"I'll give you what you want as long as you leave them alone," I spat at him.

His smile only grew wider and I looked over my shoulder to find nothing there. When I looked back in the mirror his face was still there staring back at me. I closed my eyes in order to see if that would make him go away. I counted to ten and just before I got the chance to look back again, someone knocked on the door which caused me to jump.

"Did you seriously fall in?" Jacob asked with a chuckle.

I opened my eyes, nothing, "No," I replied, but it was too quiet for him to hear. With a deep breath I managed to compose myself enough to open the door and step out of the bathroom. Jake looked at me skeptically.

"Is something wrong?"

Yes, "No, I'm fine," I smiled.

He narrowed his eyes at me which indicated that he didn't believe me, "Emily made tea."

"Then what are we standing here for?" I grabbed his arm and headed for the kitchen, shaking the jumpy feeling out of me as I walked.

We sat down at the table along with Kim and Emily. While everyone started sipping their hot drinks I just stirred mine, trying to get the terrible images out of my head as I did it. No one was talking because they were all too busy watching me, Jake especially. I didn't pay attention to the stares as my eyes wandered around the room until I finally set them on the newspaper which was sitting right in front of my face. The article screamed at me like it didn't want me to be able to think about anything but that. And of course that's all I did think about.

I thought about death and what it feels like to die. Maybe it will be easy and he'll do it quickly. But no if he wanted me so badly then he would let it be slow and extremely painful. And I knew exactly why he wants me dead too.

"Don't think about it," Jacob said beside me, "We won't let anything happen to you."

I turned my attention to him, "How do you know what I was thinking about?"

He shrugged, "You're easy to read. When your eyes are focused on something that's exactly what you're going to be thinking about. You're not day dreaming or anything like that, you're focusing on what you're looking at."

My eyes widened, "Creepy…"

"It's not creepy," he rolled his eyes dramatically, "It's just being observant."

"Ok, if I'm so easy to read then what am I thinking about now," I looked over at Kim who looked back at me for a second before looking at Jacob.

I wasn't going to make it obvious, so while I was concentrating on Kim I thought about how I didn't want to see her get hurt because of me.

Jake sighed, "She won't get hurt…"

My head turned in his direction, "What did you just say?"

"You can't think like that Sammy," he shook his head at me and his gaze met mine, "We're going to take care of this."

"Am I really that easy to read?" I blinked in amazement. He was so right about what I was thinking. I guess reading people kind of comes with being a werewolf since you can't exactly speak to each other.

"Yes," he smiled.

I pursed my lips and looked at everyone's face. Emily and Kim looked pretty creeped out by our conversation. So I wasn't exactly surprised when they took their cups and said they would leave us two alone to talk.

"I can't help if I'm scared that you'll get hurt, Jake," I stated.

"I know you can't, but I'm telling you that there's no need to think that way."

I paused for a moment, "Can you promise me that you won't get hurt?"

He looked away from me, "Not exactly."

"Then there is a need to think that way."

He sighed, "Why do you think this is Sean anyways?"

I wonder if I should tell him that I see Sean everywhere, "I can feel it. The nightmares are all too real for me to just let them pass as something my mind made up. And the article makes it obvious."

"That doesn't necessarily mean it's you. It's just a letter."

"A letter that happens to be my first initial."

"Along with Sam's and Seth's and a bunch of other people."

I started to get frustrated with him, "It wouldn't make sense for him to target any of them! It's got to be me!"

"I don't know if I can believe that…" he said honestly.

The only other thing I could defend myself with is the one thing that would prove that I'm crazy. I guess I'll have to risk him thinking I'm nuts, "I see him everywhere," I mumbled.

"What?"

I groaned, he really wants me to say it again? "I see Sean, everywhere," I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, "With the crimson eyes and the pale skin and this smug expression on his face," there was nothing but silence in the room now and I was convinced that Kim and Emily were listening in on our conversation. Great, there are three people who will think I'm crazy, "Is that enough proof? Do you believe me now?"

His mouth hung open and his eyebrows were pressed together, "You see him?"

I nodded, "But he doesn't move, he just stands there. And he's always smiling. That's why I'm sure that it's him. I don't know if he's really there or if I'm just psychotic now, but I see him."

"How long?"

"It just started this morning when Paul drove me to work."

"Paul didn't see anything?"

"I don't think so. I'm pretty if he did, then he would have done something about it."

His eyes darted everywhere, which told me that he didn't know what to think of this.

"Great, I'm crazy," I sunk in my chair and put my face in my hands, "I knew it."

"Well I don't know what this is or what it means, but I'm pretty sure you're not crazy."

"But you just said it; you don't know what it is so I'm obviously going insane!"

He grabbed both of my hands and took them off of my face, "Stop," he told me, "You are not going insane."

I half smiled, "So you believe me?"

"Yes, I do."

"And are you convinced that it is Sean now?"

He hesitated which meant that he wasn't completely convinced, "I don't know. I just can't stop thinking that if it is him, then why would he want to hurt you?"

"Because I broke up with him."

He shook his head from side to side, "That doesn't seem like a good reason to kill someone."

"Well I bet Paul has something to do with it too."

His muscles tensed at that, "Talk about holding a grudge."

I chuckled. Being able to actually laugh in a situation like this was comforting in a way. It was comforting because I knew that I wasn't alone. Maybe in my thoughts about what the outcome would be of all of this were not supported, but everything else about his situation was supported by the pack.

Before my thoughts could go any further a loud howl made both of our head shoot up in alert, "Do they need help?" I asked Jacob.

He stood up from the chair, "I don't know," I followed close behind him as he headed out into the backyard. He wouldn't let me take a step off of the porch though. "I think they found something," he said.

I shuddered, "You have to go?"

"Yeah," he looked back at me and saw the fear in my eyes, "Collin, Brady, and Seth should be coming soon though. Sam's only allowing them to circle around the house," he tried to make me feel calmer, but it only worked for about five seconds.

"If you don't come back soon then I'm going to start panicking," I let him know that just so he would try to stay safe.

"I told you not to worry about us."

"That doesn't mean that I listened."

He grinned, "We'll be fine. I'll make sure no one gets their ass kicked too hard."

Ok, that managed to make me feel better.

They must be getting impatient because one of them howled again and it didn't really sound like Paul's howl so I figured it belonged to either Jared's or Sam's, "You better go before you get your ass kicked by Sam."

He rolled his eyes, "I would never let him kick my ass."

"You never know," I shrugged.

"Go inside," he demanded, "And tell Seth to phase as soon as he gets through the door, ok?"

I nodded, "Be careful."

"That was my plan," he started to walk towards the edge of the forest and he looked at me once over his shoulder before he disappeared.

I walked inside the house feeling completely helpless. They were all out there risking their lives for stupid me. I couldn't even keep the damn vampires away. They all suddenly wanted to drink my blood because I punched Sean in the nose. Well maybe that wasn't the exact reason, but it was part of the reason I assumed. It just wasn't right for them to have to run extra patrols and watch over Emily, Kim, and me like we were glass dolls all because of me. And those three vampires that they're all going after won't stop trying to attack my friends until they have me.

The whole time I waited for them to get back I contemplated what the right thing for me to do was. It might not be what I want to do, but it's something I need to do in order for this to stop. I have to give them what they want. I have to let them have me. It's simple and easy for everyone. I'd rather give up my life then have to give up Jacob's or Jared's or even worse…Paul's.

My heart ached when I thought about him. He doesn't want me to have to be put in any danger, but guess what? I've been in danger since day one. He doesn't want to believe that though. As much as he knows that I'm the one who's being targeted he doesn't want to even let the thought of me being wanted for dead to cross his mind or even my mind.

I couldn't even put into words how worried I got when Seth and Collin eventually got called to go help the rest of the pack. Jake told me Sam wanted the three of them to circle around the house and now look, there's only one circling the house. I resorted to biting my nails while Emily resorted to rubbing her swollen belly and Kim kept slipping her engagement ring on and off her finger. We were all ready to go out there and drag their asses back to the house just so we would know that they were safe again.

All I wanted was Paul here with me.

"I'm sorry about this," I said to the two of them because as soon as the thought of Paul entered my mind I bet Sam and Jared entered their minds.

"Don't be," Emily smiled, "The boys will come back soon enough."

"Yeah, but they're out there because of me and I feel extremely guilty about it."

"Neither one of us blame you for this, Sammy."

I looked down at my fingernails, "But-,"

"No!" Kim scolded, "Stop talking right now!"

I looked at her and stifled a laugh, "So authoritative Kim."

"I try."

About a second later the door flew open and in came our knights in shining armor…with some other muscular guys on the side. I jumped out of my seat, as did Kim and Emily, and ran into Paul's arm. I took in his scent and buried my head in the crook of his neck. He kissed the top of my head multiple times.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he whispered in my ear.

"I don't care about earlier just as long as you're ok," I put both of my hands on either side of his face and pressed our lips together for a while until we were interrupted.

"Take the love fest outside please!" Embry shouted over us.

"Oh shut it Embry you know you would be kissing Dana if you could right now."

He shut up because he knew it was true and I turned my attention back to Paul. I was afraid to ask him about what happened, but I figured I should just get it over with now.

"Find something?" I asked.

He sighed, "No scents, no nothing."

"That's just a little…strange."

He nodded, "And yet they managed to kill someone right by the border."

"What could that mean?"

"I'm not exactly sure," he looked frustrated.

"Well I'm just glad that you're back."

Paul held me tight against his chest and I shivered from how warm he was, "Let's go home."

He picked me up and for just this once I didn't comment about being carried to the car. I wanted to be as close to him as possible because who knows what the future could hold.

**so again i should remind you that i don't know when my next update will be because of my hectic schedule, but the rest of the story will surely be suspenseful!!!! wooot**

**like the next chapter...it will be great :D**

**i hope you don't think i'm making this drag though... :/**

**Review please hehe **


	28. 27 Orange Flames

**In about two hours we will only be a month away from the premiere of the New Moon movie people!!! YAYYY!!! I know i'm excited especially because i just saw one of the scenes where Bella slaps Paul (i hate Bella for it) all i can say is i'm glad it's only a month away now. Oh and who got the soundtrack?! :D**

**i know i did and i can't stop listening to it...it's addictive...especially the muse song **

**so anyways i hope you think this is suspenseful enough. i tried to so hard to make it really good. i hope it paid off**

**and one more thing**

**if you haven't discovered Alex Meraz then do it now!!! his tweets are seriously the most hilarious tweets i've ever read! i love him hahaha (hope his wife doesn't mind)**

**alrighty i am going to leave you to it then...**

_

* * *

_

_H__ow can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb  
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

Wake me up  
(Wake me up inside)  
I can't wake up  
(Wake me up inside)  
Save me  
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up  
(Bid my blood to run)  
I can't wake up  
(Before I come undone)  
Save me  
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

_**Bring Me to Life, Evanescence**_

* * *

Chapter 27

Orange Flames

_I stood in the middle of nowhere. There were trees around me, but nothing looked familiar. I walked forward in hopes of figuring out where I was or if I could find someone else out here. My feet led me into deep into the trees and I scanned every part of the forest that I possibly could at the moment. _

_It wasn't until about two minutes later that I saw my soul mate. He was smiling broadly at me as I approached him and I mirrored his expression. Paul looked the same way he always did, perfect. To my advantage he was only wearing cut off shorts, so I could see his muscles extremely well from where I was standing. I was finally having a good dream…_

_A rustling noise to my right made me lose eye contact with Paul. _

…_I spoke too soon_

_I used my eye sight to the best of my ability to see if I could figure out what made that noise, but the source disappeared. So I turned my head back in his direction and the smile that was plastered on my lips faded into a frown of horror. _

_Sean stood over Paul with his foot right on top of Paul's skull. I knew what he was going to do, but I didn't want to think about it. The only thing I could think about was the fact that Paul wasn't fighting back. So I did for him._

"_Stop it!" I shouted as loud as I could._

_The horrible red eyes that belonged to Sean met mine and his famous smirk came back again. I hated that smirk. _

"_Get away from him, Sean."_

_He only pressed his foot harder into Paul's head, "This is what you're going to cause. Pain to the ones you love."_

"_I told you to leave them alone. I'll give you what you want if you promise to keep them out of this."_

_He shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine, "It's too late for that."_

_Sean raised his foot into the air and in an instant it made contact with Paul's-_

My eyes fluttered opened quickly while a few tears trickled down my cheeks. I bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from screaming because I didn't want to wake Paul. It was just a nightmare. A stupid nightmare that involved both Sean and Paul this time. A nightmare that could come true like everything else has so far. I stopped my mind from analyzing everything any further.

My teeth were chattering and every part of me was shaking in fear…or maybe it was because of the window that's open…? My eyebrows creased as I raised my head. I don't remember leaving that open. Paul didn't leave it open either I'm sure. I wiped my eyes and sat up, slowly pushing the covers off of my body as my feet touched the cold wood floor. Before I stood up I checked over my shoulder to see if I had wakened Paul, but he laid there in a peaceful state with his lips pulled up into a slight smile. Well at least one of us was peaceful.

I breathed in deeply and when I let out the breath my body shivered. So I hurried over to the window and closed it, making sure that I locked it as well. When I stared out of the window and into the darkness I tried to grasp what I was going to do next. He was going to hurt my friends even if I told him not to. I shuddered. This makes me believe that I should just give up now so that doesn't happen. He wouldn't hurt them if he already had me, would he? Ugh, I sure hope not. There would be no reason for him to harm them if he had what he wanted.

Something red caught my attention next and I looked over to my right to see what it could possibly be. A bunch of papers were lying on the desk with a red pencil set up next to them. My heart dropped when I came to the realization that it was my drawings. I blinked a couple of times while my feet moved to the desk they were set on top of and I leaned my head back all the way, praying that it wasn't what I thought it was.

I shook my head at the sight. My hands grazed over the sketches and I saw that each and every one of them was shredded into pieces, tiny little pieces. You couldn't even tell what they were anymore. I spread out the torn up pieces of paper on the desk while tears fell from my face. Everything I've worked so hard on was completely ruined. And I knew exactly who ruined them. Words written in red were all I noticed at this point. He was in here and neither of us even knew it. How could that be possible?

I picked up the first piece that I saw and read it to myself.

_I'm never far away_

My stomach dropped and I stood there for a moment, just staring at the words and not being able to comprehend what they were saying to me. I didn't want to believe that he did this. And I didn't want to think about the fact that he was less than ten feet away from me. I went on to the next piece of paper.

_It would've been easy to kill you right then and there_

My hands started shaking.

_But it's more fun this way_

I knew legs were going to give out any second now.

_Just know I'm watching_

I recognized the next piece. It had Paul's eyes on it. This was the drawing I did of him when we were both sixteen. It was completely shredded now.

_Your mutt can't protect you, none of them can_

I glanced over my shoulder for a second before I continued.

_There's no way out of this_

Two more pieces of paper that had writing on them were left.

_Love you _

I scoffed at that one.

_And I hope this helps you understand where you'll be spending your time this morning_

My eyes looked back down at the desk. The sketchbook I've been drawing in ever since I first started realizing I had talent was garbage now. All of the pages were ripped out except for one. It was the drawing of our clubhouse, but it was completely different. I picked up the book with shaky hands and stared at the mess. Orange flames engulfed the clubhouse so that it didn't even look much like anything anymore. It was just…

The sketchbook slid out of my hands and hit the ground with a thump. It was all clear to me now. I had to think fast before something terrible happened, but I'm pretty sure this was terrible enough. He was going to destroy the one thing that held so much of my childhood in it. If this meant what I think it meant, then I'd have to get there in time. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing, I had to go. I had to finish this.

I looked at Paul and blinked the tears out my eyes so I could see him clearly. He stirred for a moment before going back to the state he was sleeping in before. I walked over to the bed and kissed him lightly on his cheek and before I left. I forced myself to keep the image of him sleeping in my head. I memorized the way his lips looked and felt, soft and warm, and his eyes, deep pools of brown. Absolutely everything was stuck in my mind as I tried to run as fast and as quietly as I could down the stairs.

While I slipped my shoes on I thought about what was going to happen to him when he woke up. But I forced the thoughts out of my head immediately. I didn't care about my life, just as long as this was all over. I couldn't risk my friends getting killed. I couldn't have Paul risk his life to save me either. So I'm going to end this. If Sean's where I think he is then I'm going to give him what he wants.

I picked up my car keys and ran out the door, putting the keys in the ignition as fast as I could when I got into the car. I sped down the road as fast as my car would allow, ignoring the speed limit. My mind drifted into thoughts about my mother. If this was the end then I'd be able to see her. I hope I would see her. That thought was the only thing that kept my emotional state intact.

Smoke filled the air I was heading towards and the smell burned my nose. I pressed on the gas pedal and kept my eyes on the smoke. He had to choose to burn something with a bunch a trees around it didn't he? Now I had to worry about burning down the whole forest let alone the clubhouse.

When I arrived in the spot where I remember Paul parking in I slammed the door behind me and started running in the direction that the smell was coming from. Thankfully it was raining, so the fire would hopefully die out later. But if the fire was out of control then who knows if the rain would be helpful. When I managed to reach the clubhouse all I saw was flames. They were shooting out of every part of it, but thankfully the fire hadn't spread to any other trees yet. Which means…

My eyes darted everywhere in search of him, "I'm here Sean!" I shouted, "Go ahead and get it over with! I don't care anymore!"

I looked all around me, but absolutely nothing happened. There was no rustling in the trees or any red eyes. I took a step closer to the fire and began coughing because of the smoke that was getting into my lungs. Maybe I had to get closer to death for him to come out of hiding. I looked to my left and then to my right and took another step forward. My mind wouldn't let me think about anything but Sean. I didn't want to think that something was burning right before my eyes, something that was special to me and Paul. And I didn't want to think that I was giving up my life.

"Come on," I whispered, "Just do it already."

One more step.

The heat was burning my cheeks, but I didn't care, "I'm here…alone."

I squinted to make sure I wasn't missing anything and then I finally saw them, three of them. Three pairs of bright red eyes were on the other side of the flames. One of them was Sean no doubt. I couldn't forget his terrible looking hair even if I wanted to. The one on his right was a woman with wavy blonde hair and a smile that showed off her pearly white teeth. The one on his left was a tall and slender man with dark hair and an expression that resembled the other two's.

"Kill me already," I breathed.

They didn't say a word; they just watched me with eyes that beamed with delight.

I put my left foot in front of my right and watched their expressions change. They were pleased with what I was doing. They wanted me to get closer to the fire. Fine, if they wanted me to die this way then fine. If that meant that everyone else could live in peace then so be it. At least I would die knowing that I hadn't let things get too out of hand.

"Sammy!"

I went into panic mode when I heard Paul calling out for me. He wasn't supposed to find me. He couldn't come here not when they were here. I checked over my shoulder to see if he was close, but thankfully there was no sign of him.

"Please don't hurt him," I muttered to the three of them when I looked back and took one more step, a bed of sweat forming on my forehead now. I was only a foot away from the fire when I heard something make a cracking noise from above me. I didn't bother to see what had made the sound. The only thing I could focus on was the three of them.

"Sammy move out of the way!" Paul shouted from behind me.

I ignored him for the time being and pleaded with my eyes in hopes that they would just listen to me. They had to know that I was giving in.

Before my thoughts could go any further I was pushed back and onto the ground by something warm and hard. The next thing I knew, our clubhouse was toppling down towards the ground and on top of the one person who meant everything to me.

Paul screamed out in pain and that one scream made my whole world crash and burn. It was like the ground was falling from beneath me and the reason why it was falling was me. The wood was flat on his back and I could only think about how bad it must be hurting him. It was probably burning into his back. Without thinking I crawled closer towards him. He was trembling in pain.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," I repeated over and over again before I was able to say something else, "This wasn't supposed to happen," I glanced up over him, they were gone now. Of course they were gone. They wanted this to happen; there was no reason for them to stay. The piece of plywood that had fallen on top of him looked like it weighed a lot more than I did, "Paul please tell me you told someone else to come here."

He barely managed a nod.

"Ok just stay awake," I stared at the wood that was now crushing him. Thankfully the heavy downpour managed to put the fire out, but that still didn't mean that Paul wasn't in excruciating pain.

"Sa-Sammy," he barely got the words out before his eyes started to close.

"Stay awake Paul, please stay awake," my eyes darted everywhere in search of Jared or Sam or anyone for that matter. Tears threatened to make an appearance while I kept searching frantically, "Don't worry, they'll be here soon," I grabbed his hand and he squeezed it tightly which made my heart hurt a little less because that told me that he was staying conscious. The fact that I was soaking wet and kneeling here two feet away from a fire didn't matter to me at the moment. The only thing that mattered was Paul's life. I brought my lips to his forehead and kissed him lightly, "Don't give up on me now."

He shook half of his head because the other half of it was lying flat in the mud. Oh God this was my entire fault. I was trying to prevent this from happening and now look. He's being crushed by a burning hot piece of wood that's probably burning through his skin. The thought made me shudder.

I kept our foreheads pressed together and waited. It seemed to take forever for Sam and Jacob to arrive, but maybe it just seemed like forever because I was so worried. They rushed frantically over to us and immediately went on either side of Paul. I stared into Paul's eyes as they lifted the steaming hot piece of wood off of him. He hissed and I couldn't bear to look at his back to see the damage. I knew I'd want to throw myself off a cliff if I saw it.

Once they threw the wood out of sight the two of them did one quick scan of the area. I was positive that Jake and Sam were checking for the three vampires that I saw not too long ago, but it was no use. I knew they wouldn't find them.

I placed my hand on Paul's warm cheek and rubbed it with my thumb, "I love you," I whispered to him just before the other two came back. Sam walked to Paul and Jake walked towards me. Jacob picked me up in his arms in one simple scoop and began carrying me away. I knitted my brows together, "What are you doing?"

"Getting you out of here," he said, his eyes focused on what was in front of us.

"But what about-,"

"We're meeting them at my house," he answered the question he knew I was going to ask.

"The fire," I mumbled.

"The rain's already starting to put it out on its own."

"That won't be enough."

He walked on, ignoring my addition to the conversation. I stayed quiet as he carried me farther into the woods. That was until something started bothering me.

"You didn't see them, did you?" I kept my eyes on Jake's face to see his expression. He looked down at me with a questioning look on his face.

"You mean-,"

"Yes, that's what I mean," I said before he could finish his sentence.

"No," he paused for a moment, "You did though didn't you."

I nodded, "All three of them this time."

"We'll talk about it when we get to my house."

Right after he finished his sentence we heard a bunch of sirens coming from the opposite side of the forest. Both of us looked at each other with the same relieved look on our faces.

"Talk about good timing…"

***

Once we reached the Black household Jake finally decided to let me walk on my own two feet. And when we walked up the steps I was surprised when he didn't immediately barge through the door.

"They're here already," he pointed out.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Ok," I didn't exactly know what else I should say.

"I have to call someone before I go in," he looked at me in a way he never has before. It was like he wanted to tell me something, but he couldn't. Something was preventing him from saying what he needed to say and it was written all over his face, "You should probably go inside."

I raised my eyebrows in suspicion. Yes, he was definitely not telling me something. But instead of pestering him about it I decided that I was going to listen to him and go inside. That didn't mean that I wouldn't try to ease drop though. As soon as I stepped inside of the house I leaned up against the door and listened closely.

"Can I talk to Carlisle?" there was a short pause, then Jake started speaking again, "Paul got hurt," another pause, "He's burnt pretty badly," my heart sunk and I felt myself sliding down the door until I was sitting on the ground, "Mostly his back, I'm not sure if he's hurt anywhere else though."

I forced myself to tune out Jacob's voice for the time being because I couldn't listen to him explain what I had done to Paul. It was like someone was poking me in the chest saying you're the reason why things are so bad right now. Well they're right. Things are bad because of me, because I let them get bad. If he would've just stayed asleep then-,

I heard Jacob's footsteps as he walked towards the door and I immediately ran towards the couch and flung myself onto it, trying to make myself look like I had been sitting there for the last couple minutes. When he came through the door he looked at me suspiciously. It was probably because my heart was racing and I was breathing heavily from sprinting.

"You were listening weren't you?"

Crap, so much for trying not to make it obvious, "So, who's Carlisle?"

He shook his head at me and chuckled, "Nice, Sammy."

"I'm sorry, by the way you looked at me I couldn't help but be nosy!"

He rolled his eyes and headed towards the hallway, "Let me get you some dry clothes before you soak my couch."

I looked down at myself, completely oblivious to the fact that I was still drenched. Figuring that I shouldn't be getting their furniture all wet I stood up and walked out of the living room. I walked slowly down the same hallway Jacob had, trying not to make the wood creak too much so they wouldn't hear me coming. The small house had a certain charm to it. It was warm and had an inviting feeling to it. I felt comfortable to say the least. As soon as I reached the first door on the right I stopped. I could hear the three of them talking discretely inside the room.

"So, you're telling me she was deliberately walking towards the fire?" Jake asked in a hushed tone.

I looked down at the floor, "I found a bunch of…," he hissed in pain, "Notes scattered all over the place," Paul's voice sounded strained and I could only imagine how much pain he was in, "Something he wrote…must've triggered her to do it."

If only they knew why I did what I did.

"She feels guilty," Jacob knew me way too well. It kind of freaked me out sometimes.

"It's not her fault," Paul replied, "Tell her I'm…fine," he let out a painful groan.

Jake laughed, "Don't sound too fine to me."

"Shut up!" Paul snapped.

"Jake, go," Sam demanded in a tone that let them know whose boss. It kind of made me respect him a little bit more. About point five percent more…

I didn't feel like running again, so I leaned up against the wall and waited until he saw me.

He half smiled, "Eavesdropping again are we?"

"How does he…look?" I was afraid to see it with my own eyes.

"I'm not gonna lie his back is pretty messed up."

"Jacob I'm going to strangle you!" Paul shouted.

"I'd like to see you try! Besides it's not good to lie!" he screamed back over his shoulder.

I snatched the shirt and sweatpants out of his hand and walked into the bathroom without saying another word. I didn't need to hear anymore or else I would be the one screaming. I wasted no time getting undressed and putting on the shirt and pants he had given me, which were both huge on me by the way. But it was a lot more comfortable than wearing clothes that stuck to my body. I tied the string on the sweatpants until they fit around my waist. They looked like parachute pants, but who's really going to be looking at me?

Picking up my wet clothes, I opened the door and walked into the living room. They were still crowded around in Jake's room where Paul was lying with burns all over his back. So I decided to stay in here. I sat down onto the couch again and brought my legs in close to my body. Billy rolled his chair into the room with a cup resting in his lap. He handed it to me and smiled.

"Thanks, Billy," I breathed in the hot steam that was floating out of the, what I soon realized to be, hot chocolate, "I'm sorry about all of this."

"Don't worry about it, Sammy."

"I am worried though," my eyebrows knitted together, "He's hurt because of me."

"And he'll heal in no time. I'm sure that he doesn't blame you for what happened."

That doesn't mean that I don't blame myself. I decided to keep that thought to myself. Billy didn't deserve to be argued with. After all he was letting me sit here and sulk while Paul occupies his son's room. And he was making an unnecessary cup of hot chocolate, which tasted amazing by the way.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

I nodded and smiled at him while he rolled his wheelchair back into the kitchen where he came from. Looking around at where I am and why I'm here had me sinking back into the couch. Sean was so close to me. I can't believe that I didn't even wake up or realize it. How could Paul not have noticed it? It's weird because the whole pack is saying how they can't smell anything at all. Vampires are supposed to have different scents. So why don't the three of them have any sort of scent whatsoever?

They had an advantage because if one of the wolves wasn't paying enough attention and one of those bloodsuckers was close by then, I hate to say it, then they could possibly be killed. Everything about that made the guilty feeling only grow worse. Why does this have to happen?

Just before I could question the topic any further none other than Sam Uley himself walked into the room. I glanced up at him for a second before I looked away and took another sip of my drink. He didn't say anything as he walked into the room and sat on the opposite side of the couch that I was sitting on. I kept my eyes forward while I tried to come with a reason why he would come in here. Did he want to tell me how horrible I was? Maybe…I wouldn't doubt it. If I was him I would say that to me.

"You know when I phased for the first time, I was scared as hell," he started to explain. I turned my head in his direction and wondered where he was going with this. He looked at me and I looked at him, "I thought I was crazy or something because I didn't know what was happening to me. When I calmed myself down enough to know what I was exactly, I couldn't stop telling myself that I had turned into a monster," I gave him my full attention now, "No one was there to tell me any differently or tell me why I was what I was. So, I was convinced that that was what I had become, a monster that would hurt people."

I studied his face when he paused. This was obviously something he had a difficult time explaining and I could only imagine how difficult it was to explain to someone who has despised you ever since they first met you.

He continued, "Every one of my thoughts pinpointed to the fact that I was going to hurt the ones I loved because of what I was. I tried to stay away from them and shut them out. I shut Leah out," he pursed his lips, "I hated myself for what I did to them because they had done nothing wrong. Hell I didn't even know what I did wrong to deserve such a fate. But things turned around for me. Jared phased and I was no longer alone. I had support," he scooted a little bit closer to me, "You're not alone in this. Trust me you're not."

Hearing his story made me feel like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It made me feel like he once felt the same way I felt. Like I had to pull myself out of the picture in order to protect the ones I cared for and loved. Not to mention feeling like I was going crazy…

He looked at me like he wanted me to say something or explain something to him. I can only imagine what he wants me to explain…did I really trust him enough to tell him this though? I guess it's only fair since he did spill his guts out about turning into a werewolf to me…ugh fine.

"I felt like I had to end this myself or else he was going to hurt one of you. I couldn't live knowing that I was the reason one of you got hurt," I scowled at myself, "But look how that turned out."

"So you wanted to go and kill yourself is that it?"

"No…well maybe…I just figured that I would give him what he wants. He's not going to stop until he has me."

"What makes you think we can't get rid of him without giving him what he wants?"

Ugh, "You can't smell any of them which make them have an extremely unfair advantage. Not to mention him coming through the window in the middle of the night without Paul even knowing. And he was close to setting the whole forest on fire. Yeah, that's pretty much why."

He didn't say anything in response to my statement which had me convinced that my reasons were enough to let him know that I was right. Or else he was just stupid. His body suddenly tensed up in a weird way and I heard a low grumble coming from his chest.

"What is it?"

"Dr. Cullen's here," he said.

"And that's bad because…?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye as he stood up and started to walk towards the front door, "He's kind of a vampire."

"Kind of a vampire?!" I slammed my cup down onto the coffee table, "You're letting a vampire check on Paul?! Are you insane?!"

"No, just being careful."

"Yeah because letting a vampire come through the door is really careful. He's going to eat us all!"

"He's not like that."

"Sure he isn't," I rolled my eyes.

He sighed loudly, "He only drinks animal blood," he added just before he opened the door to the only thing that could make my day worse. I glared at the man with pale skin and a perfect face that anyone would die for. Blonde hair and –my pupils widened a little- golden eyes…

Fine, maybe he doesn't drink human blood. That doesn't mean I dislike him any less because of that. I'm not going to call him a saint for not killing people. He was still one of them. I could only imagine how angry Paul was when he figured this out. He hated vampires so much more than any of the other guys did. I wonder how long it'll take for this so called "doctor" to piss Paul off enough for the guys to have to restrain him from attacking him. We'll just have to wait and see I guess.

**I really wanted to make her and Sam come to an understanding and i think i did it....what do you think? **

**I was trying to brainstorm what i should make him say to her all weekend and when i finally got it i wrote it down! i hope it turned out well**

**and hopefully it was intense enough to last you until another update**

**thankfully i'm not as busy as i was last week. (but i have to say my pinky finger is forever messed up from playing so much on my violin lol) so that may mean a faster update**

**i just have to get all of my ideas together **

**alright well you know what to do from here...it's your obligation to review like now....tell me how you feel about this OH and how you feel about Dr. Cullen coming in!!! :O**

**i couldn't not make one of the Cullens appear in this story **

**next chapter will be a continuation of this one (and just for the record this was my longest chapter WOO WOO WOOO) **

**BYE! :D :O**


	29. 28 Bloodsucking Doctor

**First off i would like to inform all of you that i have just posted a new story called In Too Deep, check it out and if you review then i will give you another update sooner! :D**

**And hmmm...idk what else to say...wow i think this is the first time i have nothing to say in my author's note...hmph**

**you probably think they're annoying anyways so just read already! lol**

_

* * *

_

_Do you know what it's like when  
You're scared to see yourself?  
Do you know what it's like when  
You wish you were someone else  
Who didn't need your help to get by?_

_Do you know what it's like  
To wanna surrender?_

_I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow  
I don't wanna live like this today  
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better  
Stay with me here now and never surrender  
Never surrender_

**_Never Surrender, Skillet_**

* * *

Chapter 28

Bloodsucking Doctor

My eyes scanned over the creature standing in front of me in a way that practically said get out now. I didn't like him already and it was going to take a lot, and I mean a lot, of strength to act like I did. How could I feel anything for him when one of his kind was trying to kill me?

He took one step into the house and smiled coldly. Well if he were human I guess you would consider it a warm smile, but since he didn't have blood running through his veins I thought of it in the literal sense. Sam muttered some stuff to him that was too quick for my ears to even begin to understand what anything he was saying meant. The bloodsucking doctor glanced at me for a moment and I glared at him for the second that we made eye contact. A couple of minutes later he walked past me and headed down the hall. I gave same the same evil eye to Sam that I was giving to Carloop or whatever his name was.

"There's no reason to hate him. He didn't do anything to you yet," he sighed and walked around me heading in the same direction the doctor had.

"Yet, Sam, yet," I emphasized the yet as best as I could as I followed after him. Before I could even get close to the hallway I heard what I expected to hear.

"There's no way in hell that I'm letting a leech set his dirty hands on me!" Paul shouted from the other room.

I snickered, "How did I know that that was going to happen?"

Sam ignored my question as he stormed into Jacob's room and I sighed, thinking about what awaited me in there. A vampire, one pissed off werewolf, and two innocent bystanders. Which would make me the reason for everything. The reason why people were crammed in a small room, the reason why there was a bloodsucking doctor in the house, the reason why Paul had burns all over his back, and the reason why he was growling right now. I listened as Jacob and Sam screamed at Paul while he just kept snarling. I had absolutely no idea what the doctor was doing, but I bet it had something to do with trying not to kill everyone that was in the house. How the hell does a vampire who drinks blood become a doctor who sees blood every day of their life? Can someone please elaborate?

For about ten minutes all there I heard was Jacob and Sam trying to convince Paul to let the vampire look at his back. I didn't blame Paul for not wanting to let the dude touch him. Who knows what he could do…

I saw two feet walk up to me and I stiffened from who it was.

"You don't have to like me," he said as soon as I looked at him, "But I can't help you if you don't trust me."

I raised my head and was set back by his perfect face. I managed to compose myself though, "I have no reason to trust you."

"You have no reason not to trust me," he shot back.

I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to come up with a response to that, "I kind of do though," I said, "You could kill me and you could kill Paul."

"But I won't," he grinned which I figured was a way of him reassuring me that he wouldn't, "My family is willing to help you with this."

I shook my head, "I don't know if you can do anything that the pack hasn't tried already. They're hiding their scents somehow. And Sean…," I paused when I thought about what he did. He ruined absolutely everything.

"All anyone can do is try. We owe the pack that much," he touched my elbow with his freezing cold hand and I was about to pull my arm away when I really thought about what he was offering. There was a slight chance that they would find more than the wolves did. But there was an even bigger chance of getting more people, well vampires, hurt. I couldn't do that to them even if I didn't exactly like them.

"I can't let you do that. I won't let you risk you and your family's safety because of me," I admitted.

His eyes seemed to fill with wisdom when he looked at me again, "You don't have to put all of the guilt on yourself you know."

"But I do actually," I explained, "None of this would've happened if it weren't for me."

"Carlisle," Jacob's head popped into the doorway, "I'm sorry that Paul's being a stubborn ass, but he'll only let you come in if Sammy says it's ok."

I rolled my eyes, "Paul you're such an idiot!" I yelled loud enough for him to hear. A low chuckle came from the room.

Carlisle looked to me to see what I would say and I swallowed the lump in throat. He had left me with a lot to think about, but I had to focus on what I was being asked right now, "You can go in as long as you don't try to make any sudden movements with your mouth or teeth."

Jake's eyebrows rose in amusement and Carlisle just nodded with a face that told me nothing. He probably found that comment offensive. I found it kind of cool that I might've offended a vampire…

Carlisle silently walked back into the room while Jacob strutted over to me, "He wants you to go in there."

I looked down at my feet, "While Carlisle's examining him?"

He nodded, probably knowing exactly what I was worrying about now, "It's not as bad as you think it is."

"You said the burns were all over his back, Jake. It's not going to be as bad as I thought it was it's going to be worse."

"You can't know that."

"Oh yes I can," I peered up at him.

"He's going to heal quickly, though. All that's left will be…" his voice trailed off, leaving out the one word I knew he would say next.

"Scars," I finished it for him, "Reminders of what I did to him."

"Stop saying things like that."

"No Jacob, I don't think I will."

"He needs you right now, Sammy. Are you really going to stand out here and act like he's not in there begging for your support when he needs it most?" I clamped my mouth shut. Damn he's good, "Get your ass in there and stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault!" He pointed his finger towards the door with the hint of a smile on his face.

He was right and I couldn't deny that. I couldn't just sit out here and sulk. I had to be in there with him, for him. He's been there for me through everything so he deserved my support even if I would feel like killing myself after I saw the damage that was done.

"I needed that," I muttered to him as I walked down the hall.

"I know," he whispered back.

I could hear Paul cursing from inside the room when I got closer to the door. The only thing I wanted to do was go in there and sit there with my eyes closed. Or maybe I could just keep my eyes off of his back, it could work. But no, he needs me just as much as I need him if not more. So, I forced myself to keep my eyes in front of me as I walked through the doorway. My heart stuttered a bit from the scene in front of me. Sam stood there like the leader he was, staring down at his pack brother who was lying on his left side so that he wouldn't put pressure on the burns. I felt like giving up and running away when I saw Paul's whole body shaking. And when I looked at his face I could only concentrate on his eyes which were shut tight from the obvious pain he was in.

"You can come in, Sammy," I didn't even realize that I was barely inside the room until Carlisle said that. My left foot stepped in front of my right, but my eyes never left his face. His body seemed to calm down after Carlisle said my name and he looked up to see if I was really there.

"How bad is it?" I asked, not even bothering to acknowledge Paul's charred flesh.

"The burns are second degree. It should take about one and a half to two weeks for them to completely heal. He tore a muscle in his right arm, but that should be back to normal by tomorrow."

I nodded in understanding, "What are you going to do?"

"Well," he started digging into his medical bag, "First I'm going to remove any dead skin from the burned area. Then I'm going to apply some ointment on the burns and give him some medication for the pain."

"I'm not in pain!" Paul snapped.

I sighed at him. He was such a bad liar. I could totally tell that he was in a lot of pain; any one of them could see it. As Carlisle got out some of his tools I walked over to the side of the bed. I kneeled down next to him and studied his face. A grin formed on his lips the longer we stared at each other.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, "I shouldn't have done what I did. It-,"

He put his right hand on the back of my neck and drew me in closer to him, kissing my lips when he got close enough. I felt myself melt in his arms and I wanted to kiss him more, but I knew that that wasn't going to happen. Not when there were two other people in the room and especially not when he was lying on a bed with burns all over him.

"I'm going to be fine," he said.

I laced my fingers with his and squeezed his hand, "I know," I replied, "Let's just get this over with."

Carlisle looked at me for approval and I took one deep breath before I nodded to him. He walked around to the opposite side of the bed while Jacob and Sam hovered by the wall behind him. I breathed in and out evenly in order to keep the tears from pouring out of me. They were wracking inside of me, but I ordered for them to stay where they were. I wouldn't dare to let myself cry when I had to be strong for Paul.

Carlisle sat down in a chair and cleaned the wounds on Paul's back which must've stung because Paul hissed through his teeth when he did it, "Alright I'm going to start now."

"Ok," he barely managed to spit the one syllable word out of his mouth.

My mind was telling me to shut my eyes and cover my ears so I wouldn't have to see what I knew was coming next, but I ignored it and told it to shut the hell up. My body was ready to leave while my heart was practically cemented into the floor where I was kneeling. I wasn't going to close my eyes or cover my ears or leave. I didn't want to.

I kept my eyes locked on Paul's and I saw everything he was feeling. He was scared, worried, and happy all at the same time. While Carlisle did his work Paul did his best to keep from shouting or screaming. He didn't even look away. The only thing he really did was squeeze my hand like it was his life line.

I felt myself getting lost in the deep pools of brown and I could only felt what he was feeling now. I knew exactly why he was scared and it had nothing to do with his back. He was scared because I was in danger, scared for my life instead of his. His life meant little compared to mine, I could see. Paul was worried because he didn't know if even he could protect me from the things that harmed me, one of them being myself. And he didn't doubt for one second that if I were to go somewhere alone or take a wrong turn then it could mean him never seeing me again. The happiness he was revealing to me in his eyes was different though. It was the one emotion that seemed to be radiating out of his black irises that danced around my face. He loved me and I loved him back. That was all he needed to know to keep fighting and keep him from screaming at this moment. Love was the only thing that seemed to make sense anymore. Nothing else really mattered.

I could only describe what was going through my mind as some sort of weird epiphany. And it was all because I simply looked into his eyes and looked a little bit too far. I came to realize that giving in would mean that I was giving up on everything I had built. My relationship with all of the guys would go up in flames. And they weren't just protecting me because vampires are their sworn enemy. They were protecting me because they cared about me. None of them were planning on going to my funeral anytime soon. Sean knew what would make me start thinking like I have been lately and so he ruined the things that he thought would cause me to crack. I couldn't crack though; because if I did then I'd be Sammy the coward…I can't be Sammy the coward.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Paul cursed in a hushed tone.

I laughed at him. Giving up was also a selfish decision. If I gave up then I'd be leaving Paul. I couldn't leave him, not again. Being away from him for three years was enough let alone being away from him for eternity. I couldn't be that selfish.

After about ten minutes of Paul cursing and squeezing my hand Carlisle finished removing the dead skin from his back. He started to apply the ointment on his skin now.

"Well that kinda sucked," Paul commented.

"Yeah, I think you might've crushed every bone in my hand," he immediately let go of my hand when I said that and a frantic look appeared on his face. I bent every one of my fingers, "I was only kidding, Paul. Don't have a heart attack."

He sighed loudly, "Please tell me you're almost done."

I tried not to smirk at that, "I'm just going to bandage it up and then I'll be finished."

Just then, the phone rang and Jacob and Sam both looked at each other with the same look on their faces. I tried to understand why they both looked worried, but as soon as Billy wheeled his chair into the room I took a wild guess.

"Jared's on the phone," he said, "Says they're onto something."

Sam immediately grabbed the phone from Billy and walked out of the room. I tried not to get my hopes up too much because for all they know it could just be nothing. That seems to be the way things work lately. They say they're onto something or they smell something and then it becomes nothing. I knew by now that one of the three of those vampires was doing something to cover up their scents. What that something was I couldn't tell you. I don't really think I would want to know though.

When Carlisle was finished he got the idea that Paul didn't exactly want him to stay here for long. So he ended up leaving right away. And the next thing I knew Sam and Jacob were leaving too. They wanted to get in on the action not stay here and watch Paul the whole time.

Well I guess no one decided to tell me that the medication they were giving Paul would make him drowsy. So of course he ended up falling asleep while I ended up just sitting in the living room and flipping through the TV stations. Billy came in and checked on me every couple of minutes and the rest of the time he spent in his kitchen on the phone and doing whatever else he does. I threw the remote on the other side of the couch and moaned. There was absolutely nothing to do.

I checked out the window to try and determine what time it might be and just outside of the front window you could see the sun setting. This day was fast and hectic. I wish I could just have one calm day. Just one and I would be content.

The next time Billy rolled his chair into the room to check on me he brought a piece of pizza and handed it to me.

"I know what you're thinking and no it's not homemade," he winked at me.

I chuckled, "Does mind reading run in the family?"

"No, we Blacks are extremely observant that's all."

I stared at the food that was sitting on the plate in front of me and wondered if I should talk to him about the things that were bothering me. It seemed like no one else was going to talk to me about it so why not Billy?

He came closer to the couch which made me think that he knew. Like father like son, "Do you think the pack will ever be able to catch them?" I slightly raised my head.

His lips pressed together into a hard line, "I don't know," before I could even think about the answer he gave me he went on, "All I know is that they won't stop until they find a way. They aren't called protectors for nothing."

My eyebrows furrowed, "They're killing innocent people."

"Which will get them killed with or without the pack's input," I tried to understand, but nothing he just said made much sense. So he continued, "There's this group of cold ones that is above the rest. They call the shots basically. One thing they refuse to tolerate is vampires revealing their true identity to humans. If they keep up what they're doing then the Volturi will eventually act on it and kill them."

The Volturi. I guess you could consider them one way out of this because if the three vampires were willing to let humans get closer to discovering what they really are then they'd be killed. I could hope for it, but it would also be wrong to hope that more people are killed just so that a bunch of idiotic vampires could get killed in return.

Needless to say I had a lot to sort through. And I sorted through it while I ate my pizza and talked to Billy more. We talked up until we saw Jacob walking up the steps looking completely distraught and tired. I waited until he sat down to ask him questions. I guess I wasn't the only one who wanted to do that…

"So, what's the latest?" Billy asked.

Jacob leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes, "We found another body."

I flinched. It was getting worse…way worse.

"Did you report it?"

"Sam said he would when he got home," Jake rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand; "Fucking leeches don't know when to stop."

"You'll get them next time," Billy headed down the hall way, "Get some sleep and I'll see you two in the morning. Make sure you get some blankets for yourselves," I smiled at that, it just goes to show you how much Billy cares about his son, "Night kids."

"Goodnight," we both replied in unison.

I looked back at Jacob's face and you could definitely tell that he was exhausted. He had huge bags under his eyes which immediately gave him away.

"I think I'll go get those blankets now," I said as I stood up.

"They're in that closet," he pointed to the spot with his eyes still closed and I quickly grabbed about four of them and turned all the lights out, throwing two on top of Jake and leaving the other two for me.

I wrapped myself in both of them and sat with my head up against Jacob's arm, my legs sprawling out on the rest of the couch. I stared blankly out into the darkness and waited a couple of minutes before saying something, "Was it bad?" I asked.

He hesitated, "Yeah," I was thankful that he actually answered me honestly.

"Billy was talking about how this group of vampires, the Volturi, would kill them if they let this go too far."

He froze from underneath me, "He told you that?"

I nodded.

"Well it's true, but I don't know…the Volturi aren't really the best group to try to form an alliance with. They dislike us enough as it is."

"You've met them before?"

"Unfortunately," he yawned, "We didn't really get along."

As Jacob stirred I sat still and was completely in my own little world. Getting along with them didn't seem like it was going to be possible. But what if we didn't have to get along with them? What if we just stood on the sidelines while they did their job?

I was convinced that Jacob had fallen asleep about five minutes later. Or else he snores when he's awake. It wasn't an annoying kind of snore either it was actually soft and calm. It made it easier to contemplate what our options were. But as much as I tried to think of more than one option I didn't exactly come up with any.

It bothered me for a while, that's all I know. The thing I don't know is what time I decided to get up and go see Paul. I stood there for a minute and watched him as he slept in his normal peaceful state. Then I walked over and sat down with my back up against the wall, staring at his face, chest, and whatever other body parts I could see from this side. His chest moved up and down with every breath he took and I couldn't help but sigh at how perfect he was.

While I sat there I went over the whole day in my head and how I ended up here on the floor. Before now I didn't actually take in what I had lost, what we both had lost. He tore up everything that I worked so hard on. Those drawings helped me get into art school. They were things I wanted to remember for the rest of my life. And now they're gone. The clubhouse my father built for the two of us when we were kids was nothing more than a pile of ashes now. Paul worked so hard on trying to fix it up when I was away and all that hard work means nothing now. Just thinking about all of this made my head spin out of control.

I couldn't stop myself from crying now. I just let the tears pour out of me. The tears were coming out in buckets and I sobbed uncontrollably. I don't think the tears were just because of my drawings and the tree house, but they were also because I didn't let myself cry before. It was all building up inside of me and I chose now to let it all out.

As soon as I heard Paul moving I shut my mouth and wiped my face, keeping my head down so he wouldn't notice that I was just crying about two seconds ago. He lifted his head off the pillow and blinked for a couple of seconds before he realized that I was sitting there.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I barely whispered.

He tried to get a better look at me while I tried to keep my face hidden, "You ok?"

"Yeah," my voice cracked and I cursed to myself silently.

"No you're not," he looked worried, "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Liar," he replied with a smirk.

I sighed in defeat and lifted my chin up, "So what if I was."

He carefully lifted up the sheet that was covering him and looked straight at me, "Come here."

I shook my head, "I'll hurt you."

"No you won't. I'd be more hurt if you didn't come."

How I managed to smile in spite of all the things that were bothering me I don't know. But he got me to do it. I got up and tiptoed over to the bed and in an attempt to not hurt him I slowly lowered myself into the bed, but that idea failed when he decided to snatch me with his free arm and force me to lay down beside him. He put the cover over me and wrapped his right arm over my waste. I snuggled up as close as I thought was safe and closed my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned.

He sniffed my hair, "A lot better now that you're here."

I put my hand on top of his and welcomed the warmth that came with that. He kissed the back of my neck which sent shivers of pleasure down my spine.

"Don't cry," he whispered.

"I'm not anymore. Now go to sleep."

"What if I don't want to?"

I smiled, "What did the meds wear off already?"

"No, I don't want to sleep because I don't want you to cry again."

"I won't cry, Paul."

He pulled me in closer to his chest and buried his face in my tangled hair, "I love you more than I can put into words."

"Then shut up and go to sleep," I laughed.

"I'll wait until you do."

"You're so stubborn," I yawned extra loud to let him know that I was going to sleep, "Goodnight love of my life."

He breathed in deeply, "I like the sound of that one," he whispered in my ear.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face and knowing that I would wake up with him beside me. That's all I needed to know to keep fighting. All that truly mattered was that I loved him just as much as he loved me.

**In about two or three chapters i guarantee that things are going to be EPIC! i am soo anxious to get there and just write it already, but i need to add a couple more chapters before i can get into the EPICNESS!!! *says in big booming voice***

**alright so don't forget to check out my new story, In Too Deep, and review that one**

**review this one too...or else Paul will feel lonely!!!**


	30. 29 Guilt

**this chapter took a lot of time for me to write blahhh :P**

**i hope you like it though **

**EPICNESS will be coming in the next chapter ;)**

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So grab this statement  
And read between the lines  
I'm walking on an edge  
That's how I stay alive  
I need a fix now  
The pills I have to take  
It helps me live a lie  
and blinds all my mistakes

before I die  
I will have seen it all  
the mountains I have climbed  
help me enjoy the fall

Oh the webs you weave  
We are caught in the fame  
the passion's dead  
the life you've lead  
has drown in your shame

**The Webs We Weave, Escape the Fate**

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Chapter 29

Guilt

Guilt had overpowered me in the weeks it took for Paul to fully recover. Two and a half weeks seemed like a year to me, though. Getting a good look at his back was all it took for me to want to crawl into a hole and get into the fetal position because of how terrible I felt. I always tried my hardest to stay in the room after I helped apply ointment on his back day after day. And Paul usually caught me when I was on the verge of tears, which was something I didn't like. I hated feeling like there was nothing more I could do to make him feel better. If he wasn't a werewolf that could heal quickly I probably would've cracked by now. I couldn't bear to look at the scars either, but I would torture myself by peaking every now and then just to see if they looked any better than the day before. And now that Paul's back on his feet I guess you could say that the guilt is slowly fading away. It may take a while for me to not completely hate myself, though.

Today was just another normal day. Paul dropped me off at work as usual and went on patrol. But I still can't seem to fully understand the reasoning for him to have to drive me around everywhere. I mean fine, vampires are out to get me. I'm sure they wouldn't try anything that would for sure blow their cover. Port Angeles is full of humans ready to point their fingers at something that isn't normal, so they wouldn't dare…they wouldn't…

Well there was at least one thing that was for sure. The pack wasn't getting any closer to finding a way to kill the damn things. It was just a game to the three of them. Their scents kept leading the pack in different directions and then the next thing you know there's nothing but the smell of fresh pine. You can imagine how frustrating this must be for them to know that they can't seem to kill the one thing they're all built to destroy. And it's frustrating for me to know that he's always close and I know it, but nobody else does. And I know he's always there because I can practically feel him standing right next to me whenever I'm sleeping. But when I wake up nothing is there. You don't know how frustrating that is…let alone how freaky it is.

As I sat behind the desk in the gallery my eyes scanned over the windows. The constant feeling of me being watched hadn't gone away ever since I walked through the door. I knew he had to be out there, watching me. That would be the only reasonable explanation for the way I'm feeling right now. Every couple of minutes I would look away and try to concentrate on something else, but I just couldn't shake this. Something was definitely off.

"Hey you," Dana's voice didn't affect my concentration as much as I thought it would.

"Hey," I shot a quick glance at her before I looked back at the windows again, "Did you get a hold of Embry?" I asked.

"Yes," the big sigh that came out of her mouth was what made me believe something was wrong.

I turned around and focused on her now. I had told her to call Embry in hopes that he would say something about the "thieves" running around town. Yes, that was what we were now calling them because Dana didn't exactly know about the whole werewolf thing yet. She did get to meet the pack last weekend though. We had dinner and Sam and Emily's house and well…things were hectic. In the middle of dessert the guys had to leave for "work." I have to say I thought she was going to be pissed, but surprisingly she didn't ask too many questions about it, "What did he say?"

"Nothing! He doesn't tell me anything! What the hell am I supposed to think when he says 'Oh, don't worry, I'm just going to run around town with my shirt off'?"

"He didn't actually say that, did he?"

She tapped her fingers on the desk, "No…the only thing he would tell me was that he's going to work," her eyes shifted to me, "Tell me something. Do they always go to work half naked?"

I bit my tongue so that I wouldn't laugh. Man, I feel bad. I feel even worse because I used to ask the same questions, "Yeah, pretty much."

She raised her eyebrows, "I really don't think I want to know."

I allowed myself to let out a soft chuckle, "Don't worry, soon enough he'll tell you everything you want to know. Work is just chaotic for them lately. Trust me, I know."

Evidently she knew about me and Paul. I mean it couldn't stay a secret forever, she was Embry's imprint and she would eventually find out even if I wasn't the one to tell her.

"I sure hope your right," she sighed, "I guess I'll just leave it alone for now."

"That's probably a good idea," plus I don't want her to get into all of this craziness that's going on right now. I couldn't drag her into this too.

The door opened with a creak and the second I heard it, the bad feeling came back to me. Only this time it was a lot worse. I looked up and immediately felt uneasy. The young woman that came through the door had blonde hair that was tied up into a ponytail and wore sunglasses over her eyes. Her skin was unnaturally pale and I took one step back because of what it reminded me of. Her small pink lips pulled up into a small grin and she started to walk towards the desk. As she got closer I could only think that something was definitely off about her. She was wearing sunglasses when there was absolutely no way the sun could possibly peek through the clouds today and an outfit that seemed way to pricy for anyone in this town to even come close to affording. Not to mention those God forsaken heels. Who the hell wears heels when it's going to rain in less than an hour?

She put both of her hands on the desk and I noticed that they were painted a red shade. I tried to put on the best face I could manage.

"Can I help you with anything?" I tried to sound polite.

"Yes, actually," she picked up one of the brochures and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for. She turned the brochure around so I could see and I looked up at her face for a second before looking back down at the page, "Can you show me where this particular painting is located? I would greatly appreciate it."

I felt the need to keep my guard up in front of her. She could be harmless, but I wasn't about to take any chances.

"Right this way," I looked once at Dana before I walked around the desk and headed in the direction of where the painting was. Of course, it had to be in the back of the gallery. I didn't need to be left alone in the back with her. My feet moved slowly and I could hear the clicking of her heels trailing closely behind me. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She was still wearing the sunglasses when there was no need for them. I felt like I was going to throw up at this point, "Here it is," I said, my voice slightly cracking.

"Excellent," she half smiled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," ok maybe she's not bad after all, "If you'd like I could check what the price is for this piece."

With her finger on her chin she nodded once, "Could you please."

I smiled, "Let me go get it. I'll be right back," I ducked my head and headed in the opposite direction. When I got to the back room I took my time to search for the price. The only thing I could concentrate on right now was the fact that I felt unsafe. Something was wrong, but could it be her? She hasn't really tried anything…yet. She did look somewhat familiar. Once I let the thought come to me I immediately shook it out of my head and got back to what I was doing. I headed back with my hands on either side of me and my eyes watching her to see if she was different in any way. Besides the fact that she was extremely pale nothing else really seemed to be wrong with her.

"This one is priced at eight hundred," I kept a fake smile on my face.

She didn't say anything. The only thing she did was stare at the painting like it was suddenly going to speak to her or something. I could practically hear my heart racing inside of my chest. As we both stood there in silence I watched her every move very carefully. She didn't seem to be interested in the painting at all by the way she was looking at it. I tried to tell myself to calm down because she didn't seem bad, but in the pit of my stomach I felt that she was.

"It's a shame you know," she finally looked at me, "How many people are dying," I was set back by the change of subject and her lips twitched up into a smile, "I can only imagine how painful it must be to have your blood drained out of your entire body," I took one small step away from her. This was bad, really bad, "But I guess what may be painful to some is enjoyable to others…delicious even."

That's when it all clicked and the feeling made sense. She was one of them and she wanted to kill me. She was in the forest when the clubhouse was on fire and she helped kill those innocent people. I could only think that I was going to die. But no, she couldn't do it in front of all these people, could she?

She turned her head back towards the painting and sighed, "It seems as if this painting is out of my price range," she studied it for a moment, "Oh well, maybe next time," her hand came up close to her face and her fingers grabbed the sunglasses, revealing the red eyes I was afraid I would see. She stared at me again, her eyes burning through my skin, "Thank you for all your help, Sammy."

I shook my head back and forth and stepped farther away from her because my body refused to allow me to do anything else. She knew my name which only made it more real.

She smirked at me, "Oh and be careful," I listened closely, "I guarantee your little pack of werewolves won't be able to see what's coming next."

I watched in shock as she covered her eyes with the sunglasses again and turned the other way without laying a finger on me. She glanced at me over her shoulder once and kept walking until she was out the door and no longer in sight. I didn't know why she would come here and do absolutely nothing to me. The three of them wanted me dead, so why didn't she kill me?

And then I realized that it was all part of their game. They wanted me to know that they were out there and they accomplished that. They wanted me to get the thoughts of death in my head and they managed to get me to do that. And now…well now they flat out wanted me to know that they were real and they weren't kidding. That at any given moment my life could end. It wasn't so much of a warning as it was a death sentence. Having her come here could only mean that they wanted me to know that there was no way out of this. Well they got me to believe that one too…

The first thing I did was call the only person I knew I could call. I tried to talk to Paul in the calmest tone I could manage so that I wouldn't freak myself out more that I already was and so that he wouldn't do anything he would regret. I made sure that he didn't come here until Dana shift was over so that we wouldn't have to talk in code the whole time. And as soon as he did get to the gallery he tried to pick up her scent, but like every other day there was no trace of it.

"Are you sure it was her?" he asked frantically.

"She was standing right in front of me. Her eyes were red and her skin was pale," I could picture her in my head and the image made me shudder.

"You're ok though?" Paul put both of his hands on either side of my face and I looked up into his eyes.

"I'm fine," I shook my head, "I just don't understand. She was here less than an hour ago and there's absolutely nothing…" my eyes started watering.

He kissed my forehead and held me close to him when he noticed that my eyes were glossy, "Don't worry, we're going to figure this out."

"There's no way around this, Paul. They've made it clear that there's no way I'm going to get out of this ali-,"

"Don't say that," he interrupted, "I'm not going to let them hurt you."

We were completely ignoring the other people that were standing around in the gallery. The world around us didn't seem to exist at the moment.

"I'm taking you home."

"But what about my shift?" I protested.

"I'll take care of that," without another word he took my hand and led me out of the gallery and into his jeep. I couldn't stop thinking about how close I was to dying. Even though she didn't touch me the reason why she was there was pretty clear. There was absolutely no way around this and she wanted me to know that. If there was then we'd probably be fine by now. My hands were shaking the whole ride home and I attempted to ball them into fists so Paul wouldn't see, but I'm pretty sure that he noticed it. My lips were quivering so much that I couldn't even stop the couple of tears that trickled down my cheeks. I had to keep my head faced toward the window just so Paul wouldn't see.

As soon as we got to the house Paul immediately called Sam. While he did that I sat on the couch in shock. The last words she said to me kept repeating in my head.

"_I guarantee your little pack of werewolves won't be able to see what's coming next."_

What's that supposed to mean?

"Sam's coming," Paul sat down next to me and I just kept staring off into space.

Nothing about what he said made me feel better because I knew why Sam was coming. He was going to talk to us for about five minutes and then run off. They were going to try and catch them again which seemed like a lost cause to me. The chances of them actually finding something were slim…extremely slim.

Suddenly, the statement seemed to make sense to me now. Since the whole pack has basically been searching for these vampires without anything to help them then they wouldn't see what was coming next. I could only figure that what was next was death. That the three of them were going to attack if the guys went out there.

"Paul," I breathed, "You can't go."

His head turned quickly in my direction, "What?"

I shook my head, "You can't go out there. They're going to kill you," the words made the tears start to come back.

A worried look appeared on his face and he pulled me into a tight embrace, rocking me back and forth, "What are you talking about?"

"She told me," I sobbed quietly, "She said you guys wouldn't be able to see what's coming next. And…I can only imagine that that means-,"

"Shh," he cooed in my ear as soon as he realized what I meant and he kissed the top of my head, "We're going to be fine."

"No," I protested, "I'm not letting you go, Paul…any of you," I looked up into his eyes so that he knew that I was serious, "I refuse to let you go," as soon as I felt the sobs wracking at my chest I buried my face into Paul's shoulder, "Stay here," I whispered.

He put his cheek on the top of my head and sighed, "I can't just sit here and do nothing."

"But if you go who knows what'll happen."

"We'll talk to Sam about it," he reasoned.

I could live with talking to Sam. And I know exactly what I wanted to say to him. He couldn't let his brothers go out there and get them killed. If the stupid bloodsucker could get that close to me then they could surely do something terrible to the pack. I didn't even want to think about those possibilities right now.

Sam came in without even knocking and even though we were expecting him Paul and I both groaned because we were completely at ease in each other's arms and he ruined the moment. Paul picked me up off of his lap and set me back down onto the couch, but I wasn't going to just sit here when I wanted to get my point across. While Paul explained to Sam what happened I waited for a point where I could say something.

As soon as Sam picked up the phone to call one of his brothers I stopped him.

"You can't let them go out there, Sam," I stated with as much confidence as I could manage. When both of their heads shot up and looked at me I wiped the tears away and continued, "If you do then they're going to get killed," he opened his mouth to speak but I raised my hand so he wouldn't, "She told me you wouldn't see what was coming next. And since it's so easy for one of them to waltz right into the art gallery I know she's right. If you go out there and try to catch them, then you're only going to risk getting one of your brothers killed. Do you want that?"

"We can protect ourselves."

"I never said you couldn't. What I'm saying is that since you have no way of knowing where they are then they could easily attack one of you."

His eyebrows creased and his muscles tensed, "So what are you suggesting?"

My eyes went to Paul, but doing that didn't help much since he didn't seem to be too happy with what I was saying, "Don't let any of them go out there because if you do then they're going to get killed."

A low grumble came from his chest and he took a step closer to me, "You want us to do nothing?! We're supposed to just sit here while they kill more people is that it?!"

"You want to die then?" I kept my eyes on him and didn't let his harsh tone affect me.

"None of us are going to die," he looked at me furiously, "We can watch our backs."

I took one deep breath and thought over what I was going to say next, "I know you can, but I also know that these three vampires are getting way too close. So close that they're growing more confident which makes you feel defeated. They're out there right now, probably listening to everything I'm telling you. They know your every move while we know nothing. I'm not going to let what happened today pass as something that doesn't matter because it does. If you go out there then you're just giving them what they want."

He was fuming. The only reason why I knew that was because Paul put himself in front of me. Sam had the most control out of the whole pack and right now he might be the one losing that control, "I refuse to just sit here. Letting them run around and do whatever they want is wrong. If we don't go out there then who knows who they'll kill next."

I paused for a moment before I defended myself, "You told me that you tried to keep your family safe by staying away from them when you first phased. Well if keeping you guys here instead of letting you go and try to track them down is the only way I can make sure your safe then I'm going to try my hardest to make you stay here."

His hard eyes seemed to soften a little bit when he took in what I was saying to him. He couldn't say anything because he understood. When I put it in that whole new perspective he got where I was coming from.

"Sam, listen to her," Paul said, "She knows more than you give her credit for."

I smiled at the fact that Paul had defended me instead of his alpha. It was kind of nice to know that he actually wanted to stay.

Sam's eyes flickered between me and Paul and he shook his head back and forth a couple of times, "Call Jared, tell him to bring Kim over. I'll call Emily and the rest of the pack. You better not make me regret this later."

"You'll be thanking me later," I grinned.

Sam went into the other room to call Emily and everyone else I presumed. Paul turned towards me with both of his eyebrows raised.

"I'm impressed," he pecked me on the lips before he picked up his phone and started to dial Jared's number.

I sighed in relief. At least I don't have to worry about anyone getting hurt. Now I just have to figure out what I'm supposed to do with a bunch of werewolves in one house for the whole day…

***

When everyone arrived I was prepared for all of them to be extremely pissed off. Half of them were and the other half was just happy to have the day off. I sat on the couch with my knees up close to my chest and Emily and Kim sitting on either side of me. The two of them wouldn't stop staring at me which, of course, made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

"I can't believe this," Kim shook her head as she kept staring; "She came into the gallery and didn't even try to bite you."

"I know, it's weird," I kept my eyes on the blank TV, listening to the argument that was going on in the other room. Seth and Collin's soft snores posed as background music.

Soon enough none other than Leah Clearwater stormed into the room with her hands formed into fists, ready to punch me, "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

I looked up at her, "Samantha Hobson," I answered dryly. I guess you could say me and Leah still hated each other.

"You stupid little phony bitch! I can't believe that I have to sit in this damn house all day long because you say we're going to die! Well news flash everyone has to die someday!"

Paul stormed into the room, his whole body trembling. He stood in front of me and blocked my view of Leah, "You can go home Leah," Paul snarled, "No one's forcing you to stay here. And we all know very well that no one would give a damn either way."

"Paul," I finally stood up and grabbed his arm, "Just give us a minute, ok?"

Leah smirked, "Yeah, Paul leave so I can strangle your imprint."

"Leah just shut up for two seconds will you?" I was getting ticked off. She always seemed to be the one to tick me off, "Look, I don't care if we're friends or not. Either way is fine with me, but if you really think that going out there is the right choice then by all means do it. If not then stay here or you can go home."

She wouldn't stop giving me the evil eye while I waited for her to say something. And it took her about ten minutes until she finally did respond, "I'm going home," she said through clenched teeth and walked around the two of us. I watched as she slammed the front door and started walking down the street.

"So fucking annoying," Paul muttered.

"Leave her alone," I told him, "I'd hate me too if I was her."

"Leah hates everyone so you're not alone," Paul put his warm hand on my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb.

Before he could go any further the door bell rang and both of our heads snapped up.

"I'll get it," Kim jumped up off the couch and ran for the door.

"This is crazy," I pointed out.

"When are things not crazy?"

"True," I half smiled at him. Nothing could beat the way I felt whenever I talked to Paul.

"Yo yo yo! Embry's in the house!"

I rolled my eyes dramatically. That's one way to ruin a good moment.

***

Being in the house with everyone standing around and arguing with each other was starting to get on my nerves. I stepped out onto the back porch and took in a deep breath of the fresh summer air. The forest that surrounded the house was a beautiful dark green color. And the sound of rain pelting down on the ground made everything seem so much more peaceful. I sat down on the top step and stayed silent as I just stared out in front of me.

Lately everything's been so stressful and this was just one time where I could sit around and not have to worry about anything. I didn't even have to worry about the fact that everyone's pissed off at me.

The longer I sat there the harder the rain started coming down. I closed my eyes and just listened while the rain drowned out the sound of growls and curse words from inside the house. I know that they didn't get why all of them had to sit in the house and do nothing all day because I said so. Maybe one day in the future they would get it if they were in my shoes. Nothing could compare to the guilt I felt whenever they went out to patrol. Guilt seemed to be the only thing I could feel lately.

The door opened and closed behind me and I opened my eyes one by one to see who it was. Jacob slowly sat down on the step beside me without one single word being said and he looked out into the distance along with me. For a couple of minutes we both just stared, but I couldn't stand the silence for long.

"Are you pissed at me too?"

"No," he answered simply, "I'm not."

My lips twitched up into a small smile, "You understand why I did it?"

He nodded, "Yeah," he looked down at his feet for a moment before he raised his head again, "I think you should tell Paul."

I stared at him, confused, "Tell him what?"

"That you've seen Sean. He wouldn't think you were crazy."

I chuckled and rested my head on the step while my legs sprawled out in front of me, "I haven't seen him too much lately."

"Still," he mirrored my movement, "He deserves to know."

I turned my head to get a better look at him. This one question had been bothering me for as long as I could remember. I don't know why I felt like bringing it up now, but it seemed like a good time, "Have you imprinted Jacob?" my face was serious.

I watched his expression and it seemed to calm a little, "Yeah, her name's Renesmee."

My eyes widened in shock, "How come you never said-,"

"I didn't think it mattered," he shrugged.

My eyebrows furrowed, "It does matter, Jake. Your happiness matters to me."

He smiled but didn't say anything. The silence seemed to creep up on us again as we sat there on the steps and watched the clouds roll in and the trees sway back and forth with the wind.

"Renesmee's a different name."

"I call her Nessie for short. It suits her a lot more," I watched as he seemed to get lost in his train of thought, "But I guess I should tell you…" his voice trailed off.

"Tell me what?" I could sense that the conversation was veering off into a different direction. Whether that was good or bad I don't know.

"She's Edward and Bella's daughter," he said it as if he was ashamed.

Sure I was shocked. That was both because I had no idea that Edward and Bella had a child and the fact that it was Bella's daughter, Bella the girl who broke Jacob's heart.

"She's half vampire, half human too," he blurted out.

That had my body shoot up in surprise, "Half vampire?" my eyes widened, "She's a-,"

"Don't say it," Jacob warned.

My mouth clamped shut when he said that. I had never heard him get so defensive before, "How is that possible?"

Jacob sat up with me, "Well Edward was a vampire when he and Bella-,"

"Holy shit," I shuddered from the mental image. And let me tell you that mental image was not a very pleasant one, "So…she can technically kill someone."

Jacob growled lowly and his head snapped in my direction, "She won't kill anyone, Sammy."

"But she could still do it if she wanted too."

"Yeah and I could do it too you know," he shook his head and sighed loudly, "You know if I knew you were this judgmental then I never would've told you in the first place," He stood up and started to walk down the steps and I just watched him as I tried to understand what he was saying, "You can judge Carlisle for being a vampire, but I refuse to let you say the same things about Renesmee that you did about him," Jake walked out into the pouring rain and started shaking. I sat there in frustration because of what he assumed, "They wouldn't hurt anyone, Sammy, why can't you understand that?!" he shouted at me.

The words hurt more than they should. I didn't think that we would fight over something like this, but I couldn't just let him leave without saying something for myself because he was wrong, "Maybe it's because the first impression I ever got of vampires wasn't a very pleasant one."

His eyes narrowed at me, "Well you're wrong about the Cullens. And even though you think Bella is a bad person…she isn't," he started walking away again.

I pressed my lips together, "So what is that it?!" I screamed at him, "You're just going to leave?!"

"There's nothing more to say," he hissed over his shoulder.

I ran down the stairs and caught up with him, "Yes, there is! You can't expect me to enjoy the fact that the Cullens are vampires when there are three other vampires that want to kill me!"

He briskly turned around with a look on his face that I've never seen before, "They are not the same…not even close."

"Maybe not, but I'm not going to change the way I feel about them."

"Fine, do what you want. See if I care…"

I felt my stomach drop and I tried to come up with something else to say, but I couldn't put anything else into words. Jacob was mad at me because I didn't agree with the fact that the Cullens were all that good. He was mad at me and I couldn't even find the right words to say that would make him feel differently right now. He looked at me for one more second before he stalked off again. I was left there in the rain and I just watched as he walked away as if he didn't care about me anymore. As if he should care anymore…

**What the hell Jacob!!! **

**alrighty so i know i told you the EPICNESS would be coming in about 2 chapters but i lied...it's coming in the next chapter **

**sooo i hope you're ready for some epic stuff to happen **

**i'm very anxious to write it :D**

**Review!!!! i like to know what you think of this story ;)**

**The oh so wonderful, (maybe)**

**~KK**


	31. 30 Dangling By A Thread

**wow this is awkward...soo...umm...so...we meet again o.O **

**i know its been like 3 months since my last update, but its just i've been so preoccupied with school and my other story (In Too Deep) that i haven't been able to focus on this story**

**sooo i finally found it in me to write this chapter and i kinda sorta like the end result....**

**HERE IT IS! MAY THE EPICNESS BEGIN!**

Chapter 30

Dangling By A Thread

Jacob left. I sulked around the house with that super glued into my brain. He left after I assumed that his imprint could possibly kill someone. God, why am I so stupid?

"Sammy?" Paul knocked on the bathroom door which I was sitting up against, soaking wet, "Are you ok?"

Damn it I shouldn't have done that, "F-Fine," my lips trembled from the wet clothes that stuck to my skin.

"You don't sound too fine to me," he said.

"I just need a c-couple of minutes alone r-right now," more like a couple of days, "I'll be out in a m-minute."

I could hear Paul mutter something to himself on the other side of the door, "Come out soon," he added just before I heard his footsteps get farther and farther away from the door.

How could I mess things up so bad? I should've never made that assumption. It wasn't my place to say that she was going to kill someone just because she was half-vampire. Jacob loved her and he was happy, that's all I should care about. But no, instead I had to think about myself first. Now I don't even know if he'll talk to me before things get worse.

For a while I didn't know if I was crying or not because of how wet my face was. But when my vision began to go blurry and I could no longer see anything I believed that I was. Things were getting worse and they were only going to keep getting worse. I curled up into a ball, closing my eyes so that I could escape the pain for a little while.

***

I could feel something warm touching my hand. A smile began to spread across my face from how good it felt aside from feeling wet and cold.

"Are you awake?" I heard Paul's voice buzzing in my ear.

I rolled onto my back and moaned softly before I slowly opened my eyes only to see the most perfect man on the face of this earth lying next to me, "How long did I sleep for?" I asked groggily.

Paul shrugged, "A few hours."

My eyes widened a little bit and it took everything in me to look away from him to see where I was. The house was completely still and…quiet. And I was lying in bed with Paul. Either the pack is playing hide n' seek or they left.

"They left a while ago," Paul said, answering the question that seemed to be written all over my face, "I found you lying on the floor in the bathroom."

I slapped my palm onto my forehead, "Great, Embry's going to use that against me in the future I bet."

"Don't worry I'll beat his ass if he tries," Paul began to trace small circles up and down my arm which sent chills down my spine, "What happened between you and Jacob?"

I stared up at the ceiling, trying to act as if that question wasn't affecting me as much as it really was, "Can we talk about it tomorrow?" I turned towards Paul, "I don't want to think about it right now."

Paul stared into my eyes in a way that was so loving that I felt I was going to turn into goo in a matter of seconds. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer to him so that my head was now resting on his chest instead of the pillow. I inhaled his intoxicating aroma and laid my ear against his skin so that I could hear his heartbeat.

"I love you," he kissed the top of my head and rubbed small patterns on my back.

"I love you too," I breathed, "More than Juliet loved Romeo."

His body shook with laughter, "You're such a sap."

I smiled, "I don't really care about how sappy I am. All I know is that…" I tried to stop myself from saying what was making its way up my throat next, but it was too late, "Things are getting worse and they're getting closer to having what they want. So why not say all the sappy things I can come up with."

Paul didn't say anything because he knew it was true. He knew it, I knew, the whole damn pack knew it. No one wanted to admit it though. So I did it for all of them, "I'm sorry," Paul whispered in my ear.

I raised my head a little bit so I could see his face, "Hey, don't say that," I shook my head, "It's not your fault. It's mine."

He sighed, closing his eyes, "I wish there was more I could do to make sure you're safe."

"But there isn't," I pointed out, "And you're doing the best you can. All of you are," I traced his lips with my finger, "There's only one thing you can do that would make me feel safer," I said, biting my lip.

It caught his attention enough to make his eyes shoot open, "What?"

I chewed on my lip for a little bit longer before I replied, "Promise me that you won't distance yourself from me again," I said as seriously as I could manage.

Paul's eyebrows creased, "You think I would ever let you go _again_? After I just got you back?"

I shrugged, "It didn't seem too hard for you last time."

Paul looked at me with a determined look on his face. And before I knew it his lips were attached to mine. This kiss, this one small yet passionate kiss was the answer I needed. Once Paul pulled away from me he pulled me even closer to him, if that was even possible. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, "Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do," he pressed his lips up against my forehead, "If I could do it all over again I wouldn't have acted like such a pansy and just looked you in the eye. Then instead of telling you I didn't want anything to do with you I could've told you that I love you."

I smiled, "That's all I needed to hear."

Even though I thought Paul was done trying to prove his love for me the spark in his eyes didn't fade away. If anything it intensified, "I'm not finished yet," he said, even though I knew that.

I chuckled, "Fine, then you can proceed."

He wiped the hair out of my face and pressed our foreheads together, "After all of this craziness is over with and things are…well calm."

"Things will never be calm, but whatever."

He rolled his eyes, "Always have to add your two cents to everything."

"Of course," I replied. He laughed for a moment before he took a deep breath and sat there with a nervous expression on his face, "What is it?" I asked, slightly worried by the way he was acting.

One more deep breath, "Just so you know that I would never, could never distance myself from you I'm going to promise to be yours. Yours and only yours because belonging to you would make me the happiest man alive," he paused before continuing, "I can't really imagine myself being with anyone else. You'd make my life complete," he looked me straight in the eye. I didn't want to let myself believe that this could possibly go in the direction I think it's going in. I shouted to myself to start assuming it was something different just so I wouldn't feel disappointed in the end. Then I shouted at myself to shut up and listen to him.

He smiled at me before he spoke, "Marry me, Samantha."

I felt my breath hitch inside of my throat, "W-What?" I stuttered like an idiot.

"Do you want me to get down on one knee and do it?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No, no…I…I," oh come on! That's all you can say?!

"I have a ring if you want proof that I'm not kidding," he looked like he was beginning to worry now.

For some stupid reason, the words I wanted to say so badly wouldn't come out of my mouth. Ugh, all you have to say is one simple word! "You're…serious?" wrong word you idiot!

"As serious as I'll ever be," he looked as if he were slowly losing hope.

"How long have you been planning this for?" ugh, at this point I don't think I'll ever get it right.

"Since the day I met you," he answered.

I swear that I turned into mush after he said that. To think that we've been through so much together and now he wants me to be his…wife. The word sounded weird when I thought of it.

Paul pecked me on the lips once before he got up from the bed and went rummaging through his drawer for what I believed was the ring. I shook my head from side to side in disbelief. This was really happening to _me_. Not Kim, not Emily, but _me_.

He sat next to me on the bed with a small black box in his hands and slowly opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. In the middle was a diamond and on the silver band of the ring there was a bunch of smaller diamonds and a small heart engraved just below where the bigger diamond sat. I propped myself up on my elbow and my eyes flickered between Paul and the ring.

"This is so totally unexpected," I commented.

"That's what I was aiming for," Paul grinned, "Hell with what's been going on lately I didn't think I'd be able to do it this soon," I grabbed his face and pressed our foreheads together again, "So what do you say? Will you marry me?"

I closed my eyes, kissed his lips and whispered, "Yes," I was at an ultimate high as soon as the word finally made its way out of my mouth.

He smiled against my lips, "You had me worried there for a bit. With all your rambling I thought you were going to say no."

"I couldn't spit out the yes for a minute there," I rolled my eyes, "Only you could cause me to choke on my words."

He stared at me for a minute, "And only you could cause me to have doubts."

I blushed, "Sorry, I was just surprised that's all."

He looked away from me for a second and took the ring out of the box, slowly slipping it onto my ring finger, "We don't have to get married right away. I can wait, I just wanted you to know that I'm never going to give you up or leave you or do anything crazy like that."

"Yeah well this pretty much proves that you weren't lying," I nestled my head up against his chest again, "And let's wait to tell everyone until _after_ Jared and Kim get married. I don't want everyone to be gawking over all of this when they should be gawking over them."

"I can deal with that."

I stared at the ring that was now occupying my finger before my eyelids slowly began to close again. How I could feel tired now when I just woke up after sleeping for a few hours I don't know. But I had a feeling that it had something to do with being proposed to. Seriously, my heart was beating so quickly and my adrenaline was pumping so much that I'm sure it sucked the energy right out of me.

"I love you," I whispered to him, feeling sleep starting to take over.

"Love you too. Always have, always will," he replied.

And then I fell asleep thinking about the unknown future that lied ahead.

***

I couldn't wipe away the smile I had on my face as I sat down at the kitchen table, staring at the…well _my_ ring. I was still in a state of shock when I woke up this morning. Things went from terrible to perfect in such a short amount of time. It was crazy.

The coffeemaker made a buzzing sound, indicating that the coffee was ready. I sighed heavily and got up from where I was sitting, hoping that the noise didn't wake Paul. He needed sleep so I didn't want to bother him.

I took out a mug and set it down onto the countertop. Suddenly, a floorboard creaked. My eyes searched for the source, but to my extreme discomfort I couldn't find any. I poured the coffee into the mug and looked down at it, getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stood there cautiously for a couple of minutes without moving a muscle. When I felt the feeling die down a little I poured some cream into my coffee and got a spoon out from the drawer. I slowly mixed the cream and the coffee with my spoon, keeping my ears open for anymore movement.

Maybe I was overreacting just a tiny bit…

I shrugged it off as I tested the taste of the coffee just to be sure that it was ok.

"Hey babe."

I froze and my eyes widened. It wasn't Paul, I knew that. His voice was too harsh and cold to be Paul's voice. It could only mean that it was the one person I wasn't expecting or hoping to see.

The spoon I was holding slipped out of my hand at the realization of who it was and it nearly hit the floor, but his hand caught it before it could make contact. I felt his cold hand grasp my arm and he turned me around so I could face him. When I actually got a good look at Sean's face and my fears were confirmed I opened my mouth to scream for Paul, but he held my mouth shut with his hand.

"Shh, you wouldn't want to wake him now would you?" he whispered in my ear, "Just cooperate and no one's going to get hurt."

I heard a huge gust of wind and then saw another man, another vampire standing in the doorway, "I covered up our scents on the way here. Brooke's outside."

"Check on the mutt upstairs," I squirmed in his arms and tried shouting even with his hand on my lips. Sean turned his attention back on me with a smirk on his face, "Don't worry, babe. It's you we want, not them," he said it as if that would make me feel better, "And to be sure that the dogs don't realize you're really with us until we want them to, you're going to tell him where you are."

I closed my eyes, forcing the tears to stay inside of me for now.

Sean grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from one of the drawers in the kitchen and set it down on the counter in front of me. All the while he kept my mouth covered.

"Tell him you got called into work early and you won't be home until later. Word it however you want, tell him you love him whatever makes you happy," Sean sounded less than enthused about the last part, "I'm going to let go of you for just a second. If you even attempt to move or scream then I'll finish the job right here, right now." Job? What job?

I felt my heart sink even more. As he let go of me and I grabbed the pen, I thought about what I could do to let Paul know where I _really _was without them noticing. And then it hit me.

I glanced at Sean over my shoulder who was heading for the back door. I didn't know how much it would help. Just as long as he knew that I wasn't safe. I wrote on the paper.

_Paul, _

_Got called into work early unfortunately. __**S**__hould b__**e**__ home l__**a**__ter. Do__**n**__'t come by the gallery, there's some auction thing going on. I can drive myself and take myself home don't worry. Just know that I love you. _

_-Sammy _

I tried to make sure that the letters I made bold weren't too noticeable, but didn't have much of a chance to because Sean snatched it out of my hand. When he brought it closer to his face to read it I swallowed the lump in my throat because I knew I could possibly die for this.

"Sean," the blonde woman who had come to the art gallery walked through the door, "We've got to get out of here. The mutts are on their way here."

"What?!" Sean hissed, "I thought you said they were sleeping!"

Brooke glared at him and growled, "This is not my fault!"

"Grab the girl, Sean. We don't have time for this," the dark haired one said.

I watched as Sean put the letter back onto the countertop, his eyes still on the blonde. I internally sighed in relief when he let go of the paper, but I cringed even more when his cold hand grabbed me again. Before I could even blink we were outside by my car. I opened my mouth to tell them that I didn't have the keys, but soon noticed that the male was now sitting in the driver's seat with the keys already in the ignition.

Sean threw me into the back seat next to the female bloodsucker, "Brooke make sure she doesn't try to escape in any way," he chuckled.

I closed my eyes when I felt the car begin to pull out of the driveway. Finally, when I knew they weren't eyeing me, I let the tears that had been building up escape from my eyes. My thoughts immediately went to Paul. I didn't think that things would happen this way. And I never thought that I would be taken from him so suddenly. Just when things seemed to be getting a little better they get worse again.

Then I thought about Jacob and how the last things I said to him was something that I didn't even mean to say. I don't know if things will ever get resolved now that my life was dangling by a thread.

**holy crap he proposed!**

**HOLY CRAP THEY TOOK SAMMY! :O :O :O :O**

**i TOLD you it would be EPIC! (well if you didn't think it was epic then im sorry)**

**there's a pic of her ring in my profile (i think unless i didn't do it right)**

**seriously my heart stuttered when i wrote the whole proposing part XD i was woaahh**

**i know its very sappy/cheesy/whatever you wanna call it but its CUTE too lol **

**soo if you're still out there...anywhere....REVIEWWWWWW!!!!! and i promise i will update!**


	32. 31 Haunting Images

**Thank you all for your amazing reviews! i appreciated each and every one of them :)**

**so i was going to post this chapter yesterday but there seemed to be an error on here or something...? idk but it wouldn't let me post and i was in a hurry so i was like screw it and i went to sleep...then today i made a lot of changes to this chapter that i thought made it sound/flow better...so thank you fanfiction for the error! o_o**

**alright well...here it is! TADA!**

* * *

_Once more ill say goodbye to you,_  
_Things happen but we dont really know why,_  
_If it's supposed to be like this why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?_  
_Oh yeah _  
_Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears, _  
_I'm not feeling this situation, _  
_Run away try to find that safe place you can hide, _  
_It's the best place to be when your feeling like me, (me)_  
_yeah, (yeah)_  
_All these things I hate revolve around me, (me) _  
_yeah, (yeah) _  
_Just back off before I snap_

**_All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me), Bullet for My Valentine_**

* * *

Chapter 31

Haunting Images

**Paul's POV**

I rolled onto my side and reached my arm out to pull Sammy in closer to me. As soon as I felt nothing but the sheets my eyes fluttered open. I sat up and stared at the empty space beside me for a moment. She must already be up, I hoped. Slowly, I got up from the bed and walked down the hallway. I still couldn't fathom the fact that I proposed to her last night. It wasn't my intention to do it that way. I would've loved to take her somewhere special, but she didn't seem to mind it.

I walked into the kitchen and stood there for a minute when I realized that Sammy wasn't in there. Where is she?

"Sammy!" I called out. After I searched through the whole house and found no sign of her I began to feel on edge.

She wasn't here. Shit, I hope she wasn't having second thoughts about last night. Damn it why else would she leave? I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Of course I have to go and fucking ruin everything. I knew it was too soon. What the fuck was I thinking?!

I felt my body begin to tremble the longer I stood there for, letting my assumptions continue to eat away at me. I was on the verge of phasing when the door suddenly flew open and a swarm of idiots entered my house.

"Hey Paulie!" Embry shouted, "What's goin on?"

I unclenched my fists and sighed, "Don't call me that." What if she left for good?

"What's up your ass?" Quil questioned.

I looked up at him, "Nothing," I scoffed, "Why the hell are you idiots in my house?"

Embry shrugged, "Got nothing better to do."

I rolled my eyes at him, of course they have nothing better to do.

"You've got nothing good to eat in this refrigerator!" Collin complained from the kitchen.

"Well there's coffee," Brady chuckled.

Coffee? Sammy's the only one who knows how to make coffee. She wouldn't just leave it there for dipshits like Brady and Collin to drink it.

"Oh look a love note to Paul!"

I furrowed my brows before I turned on my heels and headed for the kitchen, "Give me it," I snatched it out of his hand.

"Calm down, it's just a note…"

I read over the letter, ignoring Brady.

_Paul, _

_Got called into work early unfortunately. __**S**__hould b__**e**__ home l__**a**__ter. Do__**n**__'t come by the gallery, there's some auction thing going on. I can drive myself and take myself home don't worry. Just know that I love you. _

_-Sammy _

I stared at the last few words that she wrote, _Just know that I love you. _Maybe I didn't screw up after all. I began to skim over the note again and that's when I noticed it. Four letters were darker than the rest. S. e. a. n…

I felt the piece of paper slip out of my grip and fall to the ground, "Oh shit," I muttered.

"What?" Collin picked up the note and stared at it blankly.

"Sean has her," as soon as the words were out of my mouth I headed into the living room where Quil and Embry were making themselves comfortable on my couch, "Where's Jacob?!" I screamed at them while I quickly slipped on a pair of sneakers.

They both stared at me, obviously confused by my sudden freak out, "He's at the Cullen's house with Seth," I snarled after he said that, "What's going on?"

I opened the door, hearing their footsteps behind me, "Sean took her," I told them before I phased.

"_Sam! Where the hell are you?!" _I shouted frantically in my head, moving my feet as quickly as I possibly could. I felt Collin and Brady phase.

"_Embry and Quil went to get Jacob, Leah, and Seth,"_ Brady informed me.

I barely listened to him as I kept running, _"Damn it Sam if you don't answer me right now-,"_

"_He's at home with Emily," _Jared thought, _"What's going on?"_

"_The bloodsuckers took Sammy," _Collin answered.

I growled when he used bloodsuckers and Sammy in the same sentence. God, they were in my house and I didn't even notice. How the fuck could I not know they were there?! I just let them take her away. Who knows what they're going to do to her.

That one last statement caused the guilt to consume me. I kept thinking about how I could've prevented this. This shouldn't have happened, not to her…

"_It's not your fault, Paul," _Jared howled when he was close enough to Sam and Emily's house for them to hear.

"_Yeah it is," _I growled, _"If I were more careful then this never would've happened. God damn it! Why the fuck didn't I smell them?!"_

"_They're covering up their scents somehow,"_ Jared replied, _"That's the only explanation I have for it."_

Finally, Sam phased. Each of our thoughts pinpointed to the fact that the three bloodsuckers took Sammy, _"When did you see her last, Paul?" _Sam asked when he pulled the full story from my head.

I shuddered, thinking about the last things we said to each other last night. How could I let them take her? How could I be so fucking careless? I was supposed to protect her from them. I promised her so many times that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. And I didn't realize until now how many of those promises I had already broken.

**Sammy's POV**

I could feel their eyes piercing right through me which made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I fidgeted in my seat and kept my head turned towards the window in an attempt to ignore their harsh stares. I didn't know how I was going to escape or even if I was going to be able to find a way to escape. All I really knew was that it wasn't going to be easy. The only thing I can do now though is pray that Paul figured out what really happened.

I stared down at the ring that he had given me. If I knew what was going to happen to me, then I'd just want Paul to know how much I love him. When he proposed to me, I felt that my life was finally piecing itself together. We've overcome every obstacle imaginable. Paul putting a ring on my finger was just the finish line at the end. I didn't want things to end this way, but if it they did then I'd be ok. Knowing that he wants to be with me forever was all that I needed. My life was complete now. Each piece of the puzzle has been put into its proper place. So, if this is how I was going to leave this world, then at least I'd die knowing that Paul loves me as much as I love him.

"Brooke, do it now," Sean said.

I looked over my shoulder at the blonde that was sitting next to me. My eyes widened when I saw her pull a small syringe out of her pocket. I began to shake my head frantically, not exactly knowing what it was and not wanting to find out, "No!" I shouted as she began to come closer to me, "Please! Don't!" but I was too late. She quickly stuck the thing into my neck and injected me with whatever liquid was in the syringe.

As it ran through my bloodstream I felt my eyes begin to droop as they got heavier and heavier, "No," I mumbled before I let my eyelids close fully.

***

_Images. That's all they were, simple images. Images of me with red eyes. Images of Paul lying lifeless on the ground. Images of the_ pack _lying lifeless on the ground. It kept playing over and over again in my head like a slideshow. The images continued like this for a while until one stuck in my mind. _

_I was pale with crimson red eyes and blood dripping down the sides of my lips and smeared all over my hands. I was staring down at something, but couldn't exactly see what it was until I blinked a couple of times and my vision was finally clear. _

_Then I saw him. I saw Paul with cuts all over his body and blood dripping out of his wounds. He wasn't breathing…he was dead. It took me a while to realize that _I _was the one who had killed him. It was _his _blood that was all over me._ _I was one of _them_. _

I forced my eyes open and shot my body upright, my breaths shaky and uneven. I tried to see something, anything, but it was pitch black wherever I was. I used my hands to feel around the area I was lying on and felt a wall behind me. I scooted closer to it until my back was up against it. And then I slowly slid my body upward until I was in a standing position.

I could feel someone's cold breath on my neck and I jumped from how close I realized Sean was to me, "That was a pleasant dream wasn't it?" he whispered.

I closed my eyes, "What did you do to me?" I tried to sound as harsh as I could manage.

Sean's fingers moved up and down my arm several times before he answered me, "I made you see what your future could look like," he chuckled.

I bit my bottom lip so I wouldn't sob, "I hate you," I spat, my voice slightly cracking.

He placed both of his cold hands on my hips, his face a centimeter away from mine, "You don't mean that."

I turned my head away from him, my eyes still closed, "Get the fuck away from me you bastard!" I accidentally let out a small sob.

My demands didn't help much. He was now pinning me up against the wall. There wasn't much I could do about it since he was so much stronger than me, "Didn't you like the sweet dreams I've been filling your head with lately?"

I squirmed beneath his grasp and he grabbed both of my wrists with such force that I had to bite my tongue in order to restrain myself from screaming in pain, "That wa-was you?"

"Of course it was," He pressed his lips onto my neck, "Seeing me everywhere," another kiss on my jaw, "and disappearing into thin air," I turned my head to the other side to try and stop his lips from touching my skin again, but it didn't help me at all because he began kissing me wherever he could, "It was all me, putting little illusions into your head," I felt his lips on my forehead before he let out a deep, unnecessary breath, "I've missed kissing you like this," he admitted.

I felt the tears starting to escape, "Please, Sean," I breathed.

He cupped my cheeks with his cold hands, "You don't have to beg." Suddenly, his marble lips were on mine and I shut my eyes and my mouth tight. He grabbed the back of my neck and tried to deepen the kiss, but I wouldn't budge even if he was stronger than me and could kill me in an instant. After a minute of him kissing my lips he pulled away because I wasn't kissing back, "Come on Samantha."

I shook my head, "No."

He traced my lips with his finger, "I promise I'll let you see your mutts again. Just kiss me for old times' sake and you can see them."

I didn't know if he was lying to me or not. The only thing I did know was that it wasn't going to be for old times' sake. It was going to be a way for him to boost his already huge ego. Since he was a leech, he felt that he was overpowering me already. Plus, who knows how far he'll go. If he tried to do more than just kiss me, then I wouldn't be able to push him off of me or stop him because I was so weak compared to him now. But if letting him have what he wants meant that I could possibly see them again then fine. Seeing the pack meant seeing Paul. I would make all of this as meaningless as possible.

I relaxed my tensed muscles, "O-Ok," I whispered, erasing Paul from my mind completely, "Kiss m-me."

He laughed softly, "I knew you'd give in."

Before I knew it his cold hard lips were connected with mine again and I gave his tongue entrance into my mouth, beginning my few minutes of hell.

**Paul's POV**

"_Damn it!" _I rammed into the nearest tree, causing it to topple over,_ "Where the hell are they?!"_

"_Calm down, Paul," _Sam demanded as he kept running. In his head I could see him slowly starting to lose hope. Even he couldn't hide it well enough.

"_No I won't calm down!" _I growled, _"They fucking took her away from me! They were right under my nose and I just let them take her!"_

"_You didn't let them do anything," _he tried reassuring me.

"_Stop beating yourself up over this, Paul," _Jared was losing hope just as much as Sam was.

"_We'll find her," _Sam thought.

I began to run even faster than I had been for the last couple of hours. The longer we searched for the faster I would run, _"Damn vampires and their stupid abilities," _if it wasn't for them somehow being able to hide their scents from us then we would've found them by now I'm sure. The more time I spent searching for these bloodsuckers the more I wanted to hurt them. Especially the scum who started all of this.

"_Jacob's heading into Forks," _Collin told us.

Now they're starting to look in Forks which means the leeches aren't in La Push. It only makes me run faster, pushing my limits.

"_They've got to be somewhere," _in Jared's head I saw him begin to worry about Kim.

"_If you don't want to stay then go back, Jared," _I wasn't going to force him to be here. I should be the only one running. This was my fault.

"_Jesus Christ you're giving me a headache! It's not your fault. And I'm not stopping, not until we find her. Kim would be pissed at me if I came home and just gave up."_

I let images of Sammy flood through my head. It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that I let one of her staring down at the ring I gave her slip.

"_You proposed to her?!" _Jared nearly stopped dead in his tracks.

"_She didn't want me to say anything until after your wedding. But since things are the way they are I might not be able to have another cha-,"_

"_Congrats, Paul," _Sam thought along with Brady and Collin, stopping me from going any further because he knew I wasn't going to say anything good.

"_Alright, if I don't get to see your ass up at the altar in a tux then I'm going to be pissed," _Jared smirked,_ "If I don't get to see Sammy in a dress then I'll be even more pissed. Let's hurry up and find these assholes."_

**Sammy's POV**

I kept my legs close to my chest and rested my cheek on my knees while the tears trickled down my face and my body trembled uncontrollably. My lips were still cold and my wrists still felt bruised. It was the worst few minutes I've ever experienced and I can assure you that I will never ever in a million years experience it again. I could still feel his freezing hands make their way up my thighs. I could still hear myself screaming for him to stop. I felt his teeth millimeters away from my skin, him barely being able to restrain himself from biting me with his venomous teeth. I heard the fierce hissing coming from his mouth when he realized he couldn't take the smell of my blood any longer, preventing him from going any further.

When he kissed me one last time and finally left I cried the hardest I've ever cried before, ending up in this position on the floor, hugging my legs as if they were my lifeline. I rocked back and forth, hoping that I would find a way out of here. I couldn't tell you how close I was to just giving up because of the hell that I've been through, but I knew I couldn't. Paul was still out there somewhere. I pleaded to the wind that he was searching for me. Trying to figure out where I was wasn't an option. Trying to escape didn't seem like much of an option either.

I raised my head when I began to hear footsteps coming closer and closer to me. I wiped my cheeks dry and stood up against the wall again, my whole body still shaking.

"G-Get away fr-from me," I demanded, not sounding as threatening as I wanted to sound.

Whoever it was chuckled, "But you smell so good." I came to the realization that it was the blonde one, Brooke.

I swallowed the lump that was in my throat, "Don't come n-near me," I mumbled, my voice sounding weaker if that was even possible.

I suddenly felt her grab my neck and dig her nails into my skin. She inhaled deeply, "I'm so thirsty though. A little taste won't hurt," I tried to escape from her grip, but it was no use. A little taste meant every single drop of blood in my system, "Don't move. I promise I'll make this as painless as possible."

I held my breath as I could practically feel her teeth getting closer and closer to my neck. I was too exhausted and weak to try and defend myself. As she took another deep breath I knew that this was it. This was truly the end. In my head I thought of what my last words would be to everyone I loved. Jacob, I'm sorry, so sorry. Jared, be good to Kim and take care of her. Sam, I wish I could've seen more of the good in you that everyone else sees. Emily and Kim, thank you for accepting me. Dad, I wish I could've seen you at least one more time before this happened. Mom, I'll be seeing you soon. And lastly, Paul, I love you…so much.

"Brooke!" I heard Sean growl in the darkness, "It's not time yet!" My eyes opened wide even though I couldn't see a single thing.

She sighed loudly, "Can't I just have a little?" her teeth were still inching towards my skin, despite what he was telling her, "I promise I won't kill her."

"Back off, Brooke," Sean's voice was suddenly closer and more authoritative. I felt Brooke's grip loosen on my neck until she finally let go of me completely.

"Such a waste," she muttered. A small sigh of relief escaped from my lips, but I wasn't getting my hopes up yet. Who knows what they have planned for me next.

"Tell Ian to get the car started," his footsteps were heading towards me, "Where's the syringe?"

The words sent a wave of panic through me, "No! Don't! Please, Sean! Just leave me alone!" I pleaded, "You said I could see them again!"

"I know," he placed his hand on my cheek and kissed my lips for a short moment, "And you will. We just have to set up the trap."

I felt him inject the needle into my neck again and he grabbed my waist as my legs gave out and my eyes closed one more time.

**:O :O :O**

**i'm thinking that from this point on the chapters are going to be changing POV's...i'm not exactly sure how many more chapters until the end i'm not psychic (DAMN!) but don't give up on this story because there are lots more twists coming!!! YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THEM!**

**and if you really really love this story then you would click that button down there and write me a nice review ^_^**

**CHECK OUT THE SONG I USED FOR THIS CHAPTER! **

**Peace Out and Goodnight my lovely readers!**

**~KK**


	33. 32 Death and Nothing More

**alrighty here is your update! :D i'm sorry for how short it is i just thought that the place i ended it at was appropriate for what was going on!!!!**

**READ IT! **

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_Meet me on the Equinox _  
_Meet me half way _  
_When the sun is perched at it's highest peek _  
_In the middle of the day _

_Let me give my love to you _  
_Let me take your hand _  
_As we walk in the dimming light _  
_Or darling understand _

_That everything, everything ends_

**_Meet Me on the Equinox, Death Cab For Cutie_**

* * *

Chapter 32

Death and Nothing More

Weak. That was how I felt, completely and utterly weak. My eyelids slowly opened and my eyebrows creased from the light that was shining through the clouds. I lifted my head, feeling queasy. When my eyes finally adjusted to the light I looked out and all I saw was the ocean. Maybe it was a dream, maybe it wasn't. I barely managed to support my weight with my elbow, but it was enough for me to realize where I was. As soon as I saw the rocks and the waves that crashed up against them below I gasped lowly and stood up as fast as my seemingly weak limbs would allow. This definitely wasn't a dream.

The minute I felt my legs give out from underneath me ice cold hands grasped my arms and prevented me from falling. His lips pressed up against the spot on my neck where my pulse was racing. The worst part of it all was that I couldn't find the strength in me to protest. All I could do was cringe.

"Calm down babe," he whispered in my ear, causing me to shiver, "Your mutt should be here soon."

The word mutt caused my lips to open and my mouth to form one single word, "Paul," my voice sounded hoarse and scratchy. I began to wonder how long I had been out cold for in order for me to feel this drained. I had absolutely no energy in me and I couldn't figure out if it was because I was so hungry or if it was what they injected me with earlier.

"Yes, that's his name," he said, disgust seeping into his tone, "You get to be the bait," his cool breath had the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.

"Bait?" my lips trembled while I spoke.

He kissed me on the cheek and I shuddered, "All you have to do is stand here and act like nothing's wrong. Ian's going to let your dog get a good whiff of you while I stand by and wait for my cue."

My eyelids began to feel heavy again. Even with how weak I was, the tears still managed to take form in my eyes.

"Please," I took a deep breath, "Don't…hurt him."

"I'm not making any promises," he pressed his lips to my left temple before letting go of me. My knees began to wobble and I felt dizzy as soon as he was no longer supporting me. Sean smirked before speaking, "Put on a good show."

And then he was gone less than a second later. The tears stung my eyes and I turned my body around, staring out at the ocean, thinking about how I was going to survive this. When I heard footsteps coming from the forest behind me I let the tears roll down both sides of my face before facing the spot where I would see him.

Paul's face came into view and I felt my hear stutter from the sight of him. He literally looked like hell, possibly even worse than I did right now. But as soon as he saw me and his eyes met mine, his face brightened ever so slightly.

"Sammy," he breathed.

I let out a soft sob, knowing Sean was watching us from wherever he was. I could see it in Paul's eyes that he knew this wasn't over. Sean didn't just leave me here as a peace offering, which is why I believed that Paul was standoffish as to how close he would get to me.

"You c-came alone?" it barely came out as a whisper. I was scared for him at this point. My life meant little compared to his.

I didn't get any sort of response from him as he examined every part of me, until his gaze bore into the two spots on my neck where Sean had injected the syringe. I looked away from him as he took a couple of steps closer to me.

"What have they done to you?" I could see Paul's hands begin to tremble, but before he could get close to me the familiar gust of wind followed by the feeling of cold hands grabbing my neck stopped him. Paul narrowed his eyes at Sean and began to growl, "Get your fucking hands off of her," he spat.

"Let's not get too feisty. You wouldn't want to phase right in front of your little imprint now would you?"

Paul clenched his jaw, his body still shaking despite what Sean had said to him, "What do you want?" Paul asked.

Sean's grip on my neck tightened and I flinched from the cold feeling, my eyes glued to Paul's tortured face, "It's simple really. I get to cause you the same sort of pain you caused me."

"What are you talking about?" he snarled.

Sean hissed back at him, "You took her away from me. If it wasn't for you, then we could be happy together."

I was frustrated and annoyed when he said that. I wanted to scream at him saying that I wasn't happy being with him which is why I left him. Paul wasn't the cause for us to break up his personality was. His drinking habits and stupidity was the reason.

Instead of saying all of that I could only muster a simple, "You're wrong."

Sean and Paul both looked at me, "I really don't think so," Sean said before turning his attention back to Paul, "I'm going to give you the chance to choose what happens to her. Which would cause you more pain, Paul?"

Suddenly, I was dangling over the edge of the cliff. The only thing that was preventing me from plunging feet first into the rocky waters was Sean's hand around my neck.

Paul growled even fiercer than before and I saw him begin to get ready to phase, "You could lose her to the ocean depths below or," my feet were on the ground in the blink of an eye and his teeth were less than a centimeter away from my skin now, "you could live the rest of your life knowing that she's your sworn enemy."

Paul's eyes flickered between me and the douche that was holding my life in his hands. I saw a million emotions flash across his face in that instant. The ones that overpowered the rest were regret, sorrow, disappointment, and fear. But then something changed in him and suddenly our eyes met. And the only thing I saw in them was love, hope, and…determination.

"Make your choice Paul," Sean opened his mouth wider while Paul just kept staring at me. In the best way that I could at the moment, through my eyes I said that everything was going to be ok. I let him know that I would be fine.

But when I tried this he suddenly growled again, "Let go of her or I swear I will kill you with my bare hands."

Sean raised his head slightly, closing his mouth, "If you say so."

And then my feet were dangling off of the edge of the cliff once again until his hand finally let go and gravity took over. I couldn't find it in me to scream or think about the rocks that I was going to hit. The only thing I did was close my eyes and wait for it to happen. And when it finally did, when I heard my leg snap and my body hit the water so hard that it felt like knives were piercing through my skin, I didn't do anything but fight. I fought against the current that was thrashing me around and I fought against the immense amount of pain that was going through my leg. All I thought about was Paul and it had me fighting like hell to stay alive.

I heard another big boom as someone fell into the water fifteen feet away from me and finally opened my eyes to see which one of them it was. To my extreme relief it was the one person I wanted it to be. I swam in Paul's direction and ignored my leg that was bleeding like there was no tomorrow. As soon as I was in his reach he grabbed my waist and swam while I wrapped my arms around his neck. I closed my eyes and waited for it to be over.

Once we reached the shore he laid me down on the soft sand and I tried to catch my breath while he took a look over my leg. My eyes went to the cliffs, wondering what had happened.

"Where's Sean?" I questioned.

Paul looked back at my face again, "Jared and Jacob are taking care of him. How's your leg?"

I shook my head, "Its fine," I lied, wanting more answers from him, "What about the other two?"

He wiped away strands of hair that were in my face, "I don't know," he said, truthfully, "I'm…sorry, so sorry."

I put my hands on his cheeks, "It's not your fault," I blinked in an attempt to hold back the tears, "Please don't blame yourself, Paul. Not for this," I placed my arms around his neck again and pulled him down closer to me until I was able to bury my face in his neck.

He sighed, "You don't know how sorry I am."

"I love you, Paul," I choked out, as quickly as I could because I didn't know when the next time I could say it to him would be.

"I love you too," he whispered, "So much."

If I could sit here knowing that things were going to be ok, then I would. But as soon as I heard the familiar snicker of a certain blonde I knew this wasn't over. Not even close.

Paul tensed up and kissed my neck before he slowly let go of me. I looked down the beach and saw both Ian and Brooke staring at us from the distance.

"Damn it," I heard him mutter to himself before he looked at me once more, "Don't try to move ok?"

I nodded, wiping away the salt water that was on my cheeks. It scared the hell out of me to not know what was going to happen next. Was the rest of the pack going to help him? Did the rest of the pack even know that they were here? Or was Sean more of a threat than anyone gave him credit for?

I felt my heart begin to speed up as Paul stood up and got into a defensive stance. When I saw him take a couple steps forward and transform into the grey wolf that he was I turned my head the other way, looking back up at the cliffs and slightly being able to hear the growls that were coming from up there. I tried to drown out the sounds that were coming from behind me as I stared up at the sky. I repeated over and over again that he was fine, I was fine, and everyone else I loved was fine when in reality it was all a lie. But I kept repeating those words in my head anyways. I flinched every time I heard a snapping noise or a hissing noise. I didn't know what was going on behind me and I was scared to figure it out.

It had all become too much for me once I heard a painful wail. Ignoring it was too hard to do. My body turned around and shot upright when I saw Paul lying on the ground, looking defeated with Brooke's foot on his neck, burying his face into the sand.

"Paul!" I cried out, using my arms to crawl closer to him. It was useless given the fact that my leg was probably broken and I wouldn't even be able to do much if I managed to reach them. They were still stronger than me. But seeing Paul lying there helplessly with Brooke's foot on his neck, digging it into the sand caused me to not care about any of that.

I watched as Ian took Paul's jaw in his hand and smirked at him, "Stop!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could, "Don't hurt him!" I couldn't understand why I had to be the useless one. Why couldn't I be more help to them? I wish I could protect Paul like he protects me…

Ian looked away from Paul and peered up at me, tilting his head for a moment before he came towards me and picked me up by my neck. Paul began to snap and snarl at Brooke when he realized what Ian was doing to me. I thrashed my arms and squirmed as much as I possibly could in hopes that I'd be able to escape. But he didn't seem to notice as he ran to the opposite edge of the beach that we were at before.

He held my neck in his hand and looked at the rock that was only a foot behind me. In the few moments that I saw him raise me up so that my legs were no longer touching the ground, I realized that trying to fight him off wasn't going to do any good, I was defeated. I looked to the other side of the beach and saw Paul manage to wriggle himself out of Brooke's hold and start to run straight in our direction. I looked up at the cliffs and saw smoke. I looked down at my hand and saw the ring that Paul had given me. All of these things led to me seeing memories of myself when I was kid flowing through my head. Most of them were memories of me and Paul and Jared. Some of three years ago when the ground seemed to be pulled from underneath me. Others of my mom, my dad, the pack. Even good ones of Jacob and the day we met.

I looked into the crimson red eyes of the man who I would blame for the pain he was about to bring on all of those people I loved so much. Not only was he going to hurt me by doing this, but he was going to hurt them. I narrowed my eyes at him, accepting my fate, but also letting him know what he was really doing. Once more I looked over at the other end of the beach. Paul was almost halfway here, but I knew he wasn't going to make it in time.

Finally, without warning, he did it. He looked me in the eye and smashed my head into the rock, ending my life. It was dark and painless, just like I had expected it to be. A place where Paul didn't exist and neither did any other part of my life. It was death and nothing more.

**THE END!**

**HAHAHA no...i couldn't end it there**

**soo the next chapter and the rest of the chapters for that matter will most likely be alternating POV's...a lot of Paul's POV is coming your way so be prepared...**

**and again im sorry for the short update, i know its not nearly as long as my other chapters, but in the future it will make sense as to why i ended it where i did...i hope **

**love you all!!! :)**

**let me know what you thought in a review ;)**


	34. 33 Without You

**oh hai ^_^ yes i know i updated two days ago...i'm just that cool. No, actually since you were all freaking out because of the way i ended the last chapter i figured that i didn't want to cause any of you guys to have heart attacks so i posted it ASAP lol **

**actually i enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. It was the one chapter that had been stuck in my head since the beginning and it feels really good to finally be able to write it out and post it hahaha**

**what? the song i used for this chapter is from RENT? HELL YES IT IS! i love this song and i love rent...so what if its a musical this song is so amazing and it fits so well that i wanted to use it...if you haven't seen rent yet then you better see it before i hunt you down :O just kidding i wouldn't hunt you down...i'm done now**

**READ IT!**

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_Without you_  
_The eyes gaze_  
_The legs walks_  
_The lungs breathe_

_The mind churns_  
_(The mind churns)_  
_The heart yearns_  
_(The heart yearns)_

_The tears dry without you_  
_Life goes on but I'm gone_  
_'Cause I die without you_

**_Without You, Rosario Dawson and Adam Pascal from the RENT Soundtrack :D_**

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Chapter 33

Without You

**Paul's POV**

The second I saw Sammy's head make contact with the rock I felt my heart drop. And as if someone had hit me with an invisible whip, I ran faster. The damn bloodsucker was grinning from ear to ear from what he accomplished. I kept my eyes set on him as I got closer to the other side of the beach.

"_Damn it Paul why didn't you tell me to help you?!" _Sam shouted at me, but I ignored him as I kept running.

"_I tried!" _I snarled as the dark haired leech turned in my direction, _"The blonde must've done something to prevent you from hearing me."_

And as soon as he was in my reach I attacked him with all the strength I had. I wanted him to pay for what he had done. Even though he thought he had the upper hand because of his extra dumb ass ability, he didn't. With all the rage that had been building up inside of me it was easy to find his weakness and tear him limb from limb. All the pain he had caused her and all the pain it was causing me to know that she was dying made it easier to rip his head off of his scrawny body and throw the pieces into a pile.

"_I'll finish him off," _Jared thought, obviously realizing what had happened.

I didn't respond as I immediately ran over to where I saw Sammy lying in a pool of blood. It didn't take much for me to phase back. Despite how angry I was, as soon as I saw her and knew that she was barely breathing I calmed myself down. I kneeled down beside her and picked her head up in my hands.

"Sammy?" I said frantically, "Sammy? Can you hear me?" it was no use. He had done too much damage. I could smell the blood pouring from her scalp as it covered my hands. Her heart was barely managing from what I could hear.

I heard Jared whimper from behind me and I looked over my shoulder and down at the pair of cut offs he must've gotten before he came back to help. I immediately stood up and put them on while Jared cringed at the sight of the blood that was on my hands. I ignored his reaction as I picked up Sammy in my arms and began to carry her. To my left out of the corner of my eye I could see Sam and Jacob still trying to outwit the other bloodsucker. To my right I saw the pieces of the asshole that had caused the rush of pain to enter my system burning in a fire.

"You told the others to come?" I asked Jared as I walked off of the beach and into the forest, heading in the direction of the hospital. He barked at me, "Go help Jacob and Sam," I ordered him, staring at Sammy's nearly lifeless body in my arms; "I'll take care of her."

I didn't feel stable once Jared had turned around and left me. As I began to run, I felt my body finally begin to react the way I expected it to. My arms and legs felt like they were going numb and my head was spinning. After everything she's been through this has to happen to her. After I asked her to marry me…to be my wife…

I shook away the thoughts that I knew would break me at any given moment. But what I did to distract myself from thinking about it again didn't help my sanity much either. I stared at her pale face and caught a glimpse of the damage that was done to her head and I began to feel like my whole world was crashing down. I didn't stop running, I didn't fall, and I didn't get into the fetal position and stop breathing. I pushed myself to run the fastest I've ever run before, repeating one phrase and one phrase only constantly inside my head.

I'm sorry.

**Sammy's POV**

It started out as nothing but what seemed to be the inside of my eyelids. All I saw was black. I didn't feel or breathe or move at all. That is until I felt a jolt of something force me to wake up. Then I saw everything clear as day. There seemed to be a pattern to everything that happened next. First it would feel like I had been electrocuted and I could see and then everything would go black again. Until finally, I heard a bunch of frantic voices spitting foreign words out at each other. It was a little while later when one of them said something I actually thought I recognized.

"_We have a pulse."_

Pulse. I saw it then. I saw the blue skies up above me and realized that I was on lying in the sand on some sort of beach. I lifted my body off of the ground as my eyes took everything in. On one side of me it was pitch black and uninviting. On the other, it was bright and welcoming. I was stuck in the middle; half of me was in the dark, half in the light. The skies on the brighter side were blue and on the darker side they were covered with grey storm clouds.

I could still hear the voices, but it was just like background music now. There was only one more sound that was added to the mix. It was a beeping noise that kept a steady pace. I felt annoyed by it after a while. The longer I laid there in the warm sand, the louder it all got. I stood up and grunted, covering my ears in an attempt to drown it out, but it didn't seem to help at all. If anything, it made everything seem louder.

I had to get out of here…

With one look to my left at the darkness I decided that it'd probably be a good idea to stay away from there. So I started walking in the other direction, towards everything that seemed to look more beautiful. The colors were brighter and more vivid on that side. It was obvious that I wouldn't even consider heading the other way.

Every step I took seemed to make the beeping noise's tempo speed up, though. I began to panic when one of the voices shouted, _"She's crashing!" _

I didn't understand what it meant exactly. All I knew was that it was no longer beeping I heard. It was just one straight up annoying sound. Like a mosquito or a fly…something along those lines. I looked up above me at the blue skies as I walked, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. There were no bugs where I was, nothing even close that could possibly make a sound like that. All I knew was that the electric shock I felt on my chest before had suddenly returned and it stopped me from walking further. I put my hand over my heart, realizing it wasn't beating. I wasn't even breathing for that matter.

I began to panic in that instant.

"_She's hemorrhaging!" _

I closed my eyes and took a couple of steps backward in an attempt to regain my stability. Another jolt caused me to walk even quicker until I reached the spot where I had started out at. I waited until the voices got calmer and the beeping noise returned. Then, I fell to my knees and looked at the darkness and the light again before I started to become confused.

Where the fuck was I?

**Paul's POV**

My eyes were glued to the white walls in the waiting room of the hospital. I felt like the life was being sucked out of me. Every minute that passed by, every minute that I didn't get any updates on how she was, I was slowly dying. This waiting room seemed to be my own personal hell. I glanced at all the other faces that were in the same situation I was in. Scratch that, this was just hell. All of these people were waiting to hear the fate of their loved ones. Though I doubted any of their pain could compare to mine, I figured it was still hard for them to have to sit here in an uncomfortable chair and wait for hours just to hear if the outcome was good or bad.

I could feel the imprint pull begin to take full force on me. I put my hands on my abdomen in response to the sudden wave of guilt and pain that had overcome me. I clenched my jaw, closed my eyes, and swallowed the lump that was in my throat. If only I didn't lose focus for that one split second, then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Maybe I could've actually killed the damn bloodsucker.

_Why the fuck are you so stupid, Paul? _I asked myself.

And I couldn't come up with a good answer to that question. I really didn't understand why I had to act like such a dumb ass.

The smell of caffeine and Jared interrupted my guilt fest, "You look like shit, Paul."

I opened my eyes and looked at the cup of coffee he was holding in his hand, "I'm not thirsty," I said before I turned my gaze onto a young girl with jet black, curly hair that just touched her shoulders and the biggest pair of brown eyes I had ever seen. She looked to be about eight or nine. She blushed as I continued to gawk at her. I couldn't find it in me to focus on anything else, though. She resembled Sammy too much for me to look away. It was heart wrenching because just one look at her small face and I was reminded of my best friend.

Jared sat in the empty seat next to me and sighed loudly, "I should've been there," he muttered too low for humans to hear.

I turned my focus onto him now, "You were there," I pointed out.

He shook his head in denial, "Not soon enough," I could hear how much hatred was in his voice. I didn't know who the hatred was directed towards, but I was semi-hoping it was me, because God knows I deserve it.

"I _was_ there and I didn't even manage to prevent this from happening," I peered up just as I saw a doctor walk into the room with a serious look on his face. But as soon as I noticed the frown creased into his forehead I knew it wasn't good news. Who he was going to tell this bad news to was still up in the air.

I held my breath as he began to walk towards me, his eyes scanning over me for a second before they landed on the older woman that was sitting beside me. My head hung low as she stood up and the doctor led her over to a more "private" area. This one time I wished that I didn't have keen senses just so I wouldn't have to hear what he was going to say to her.

"Mrs. Jones…" he began in a low voice, "The tumor in your husband's brain was bigger than we originally thought," he paused for a moment and I could hear the woman's breath hitch, "We did everything we could…but-"

"No," I heard her voice crack.

I felt my body begin to shake and I clenched my fists in order to stop myself from phasing right here and now.

"He didn't make it?" the woman asked.

I stood up from my seat and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Are you ok?" Was I the only one who could hear what was going on? Or was I just stupid enough to listen instead of drowning out what he was telling her?

I glanced down at the small girl once more, seeing nothing but Sammy now. It caused me to shake even more, "I need some air," I told Jared before I quickly ran out of the hospital. The moment I made it out of sight from the hospital and took off the cut off shorts I was wearing, I phased. My eyes were set on the ground beneath me as I panted heavily and felt tears begin to swell up in my eyes.

All I could see was her beautiful face. I saw her smile, I saw the way her lips hung open whenever she was getting into a sketch of hers. I heard her laugh in my head and her voice telling me that she loved me in my ear. It was fucking torturing me, but I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Why couldn't it have been me instead of her? Why was she paying for my mistakes? My stupidity?

"_Are you ok, Paul?" _

Sam. The one person I didn't want to talk to was asking me if I was ok, _"How could I be ok?! How could I when I know that I was the one who brought all of this onto her?!" _I wasn't one to cry, but at that moment I did. It was the one thing that truly proved to me that I wouldn't be able to survive without her.

"_Sammy's strong, Paul. She'll pull through this," _his thoughts drifted back to when she left for New York.

I growled, slamming my body into the nearest tree. Even that couldn't compare to the pain I was in, _"This is not the same, Sam. Not even close."_

He sighed, _"Look, I might not know her as well as you or Jacob or Jared do, but the one thing I do know is that she loves you, Paul. Ever since that one day in grammar school, she's loved you. Despite all of the shit you two have been through, you've both survived. And through everything you two have done it side by side. She's in that hospital right now, Paul. She's fighting to stay alive for you. I know she is. So, get your ass back there and stop sulking. Stand by her side and help her get through this."_

I raised my head and took in everything he was saying to me. For the first time since I met the douche bag and began to hear his every thought inside of my head, I felt grateful for this kick in the ass, _"Thanks," _it was hard for me to spit it out, but somehow I did it.

"_I'll be at the hospital soon."_

It might not have made me feel completely better, but what he said made me realize that sitting here and trying to run away from everything wasn't going to help anything. Running away from this problem wouldn't make her better. I couldn't let her fight this on her own. I had to go back and wait it out no matter how painful it might be for me.

"_I'll let you know what happens," _without another word being said I headed back and phased, changing back into the cut off shorts again before I composed myself enough to step back into the waiting room where Jared was still sitting.

He stared at me with concern in his eyes and now that I got a good look at him I could see how much this was all affecting him, "Where's Kim?" I asked as I sat in the empty chair beside him, ignoring the change in his features from his worry. If that's what he looked like when he got worried about his friend, then I didn't want to even think about what I must look like right now since she was my imprint.

He stared at his coffee for a minute before answering me, "She's with Emily. I told her to stay there until I knew exactly what was going on."

I nodded once before I stared down at my hands, trying to stay as positive as I could. The more time that passed the more restless I got. Every single time I looked up at the clock and realized how long it had been since I last looked up at it the more I had to convince myself that it's good that they're taking a long time. I kept telling myself that she was going to be ok because they were taking care of her.

After Sam, Emily, Kim, and Jacob showed up I had this mindset in my head that there were too many people that cared about her. She had to be ok for them…for me. I began pacing as yet another hour passed and more people came in and out of the waiting room.

My pacing was soon interrupted when I saw the same doctor from earlier walk into the room. His face showed absolutely no emotion at all. It pissed the hell out of me that I couldn't tell whether or not he had good or bad news to share with his next victim. When his eyes settled on me I knew that that next victim was going to be me and it made me feel sick to my stomach. I took a deep breath before I walked up to him, telling myself that this is what I was waiting for. Suck it up and swallow it down.

"How is she?" I asked, feeling my stomach begin to flip flop inside of me like a fucking acrobat.

He looked at the six of our faces that were now crowded around him, "Are you her family?"

We all exchanged glances to one another, "I'm her fiancé," I snapped, a little annoyed that he wouldn't just tell me already.

He looked me up and down once, "Come with me," he said. I could feel all of their eyes on me, especially Jacob's. I didn't tell him about me proposing to her, so I could understand why he was set back by my response. I was too worried about Sammy to try and explain myself to him now.

I followed close behind the doctor until he led me into a quiet hallway. I was extremely nervous considering the fact that he hadn't done this to anyone else he spoke to. It was as if he knew there were two other shape-shifters in the hospital that could hear what he was going to say if he was too close. Whether he not wanting them to hear us was a good or bad thing I didn't know.

He half smiled for a second, "She's a fighter," I felt relief when he said that, but there must've been some reason as to why he brought me over here so my stomach was still in knots, "There was a lot of damage, though. The fall managed to crack her skull and there was a lot of swelling and internal bleeding," I shuddered. And as if that wasn't enough he continued to tell me more of what the filthy bloodsucker had done to her, "There were two places on opposite sides of her brain that seemed to receive the most damage which led me to diagnose it as a coup contrecoup injury."

His words were gibberish to me, "And that is?"

"An injury in which the brain slams against one side of the skull and then recoils to the opposite side, causing the brain to be bruised. I do have one question that I want you to answer truthfully for me," I looked up at him, confused, "You are absolutely certain that she fell and hit her head?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Yeah, I'm sure," I growled, "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged his shoulders casually, "In cases like these we always have to get the full story. From how much damage there was I just wanted to be sure that it wasn't intentional."

I took a couple of steps closer to him, feeling my blood begin to boil, "What would make you think I would _hurt _her?!"

He didn't seem to lose his cool when he replied, "There were tranquilizers running through her bloodstream when we opened her up and her leg was broken in two places. Also, the type of damage that was done to her makes me think that this was a deliberate-,"

"I did _not_ hurt her!" My hands formed into fists at my sides and I sighed, trying to calm myself down, but the fact that he thought that I might've possibly abused her put me over the edge.

He held his hands up, "Samantha's condition is critical," he ignored my previous comment and continued with his explanation. I stepped closer to him, letting my anger get the best of me. And then he finally spit it out without any hesitation whatsoever, "Her injuries have caused her to go into a coma."

I stopped as soon as the words came out of his mouth. He couldn't be serious…he had to be lying to me. No, she had to be ok…she couldn't-

"I'm sorry," He's sorry?! How could he be sorry?! "She's in the ICU and we're keeping a close eye on her."

He was serious, probably as serious as a doctor could ever be. Sammy was barely alive. She was in a coma. And it was all because of me, because I wasn't paying attention for one second. All the anger and rage I had been feeling was suddenly replaced with an immense amount of unbearable pain. I felt the pull starting to tug on me again, causing me to let up on the douche bag who just told me everything I didn't want to hear.

"If you'd like to see her I'll take you to her room."

I concentrated on the floor as I nodded, barely being able to do anything else but that. I didn't even realize my feet were moving until I suddenly saw the doctor stop in a small doorway, staring at me like he expected me to run in there as if it were the greatest place on Earth. I tried to prevent the tears that were stinging my eyes from making an appearance.

Shakily, I made my way over to the room, still staring at the floor. I stayed that way for a couple of minutes, trying to find the courage to actually look up. But knowing that your soul mate was in a coma and coming to terms with the fact that it was your entire fault would make any man feel like shit. Imprinting took feeling like shit and multiplied it by twenty, making me feel worse than any normal man ever could in this sort of situation.

I sucked in a sharp breath when I finally convinced myself that I had to look and I raised my gaze to the bed where she lied. An invisible knife pierced through me when I saw a tube attached to her arm and another one sticking out from her mouth. The pain caused me to take a step inside the room. Her head was bandaged up and there were bruises on both of her wrists. Her leg was in a white cast and from here I could see the two spots where she was injected with tranquilizers. I doubled over when I felt the knife turn inside of me causing extreme discomfort. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I walked over to the bed and stared down at her. Despite all of the tubes and bruises she was still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life.

"If I talk to her will she hear me?" I lightly grazed my fingers over the top of her hand.

"With her condition, I'm not certain that she will understand everything clearly. If her vital signs improve then she could get better in that area."

I let a single drop of salt water trickle down the side of my face, clenching my jaw as I found myself wishing I could take all of her pain away...and mine. I wanted to make it stop. I hated having to feel like there were a thousand knives being jabbed into my skin right now. More than anything I wanted to throw my hands up and give up.

"I'll leave you alone for now."

I nodded, but in reality I didn't want to be left alone with these demons that kept telling me to run out of here and never come back. I tried to fight them off with everything I had, because running wasn't going to help her get better. Leaving her when she was so helpless and vulnerable wouldn't make the pain go away. I thought about what Sam had said to me earlier, letting my mind absorb the words he said to me.

I pulled up the chair that was next to the bed and sat down, taking Sammy's hand in mine and planting a small kiss on it. I had to stand by her side and help her get through this. I couldn't give up on her.

"I love you," I didn't care if she could hear me or not. I didn't care how pointless it was. Just as long as I said it to her, then for now I would be ok.

**Sammy's POV**

It seemed like I had been lying in the sand for hours. And yet the sun didn't even seem like it moved an inch. The whole time I stared at it for it didn't move an inch. It just stayed at its highest peak. Trying to figure out where I was seemed hopeless at this point. Ok, I knew I was on a beach, but the fact that there were absolutely no signs of life here caused me to narrow it down to two things. One, it was all a dream, which was very likely considering the fact that I had stopped breathing at one point and it didn't affect me at all. Two, I somehow traveled all the way to another planet where no forms of life have been discovered yet. That assumption seemed downright crazy though, so I stuck with my first one.

But it felt all too real to be a dream. I dug my hands into the warm sand and looked on either side of me again. If only I knew how to get out of here. Maybe if I pinched myself again then it would finally work and I'd wake up. I closed my eyes and squeezed a small portion of my skin on my arm. Once, twice, and even three times, but I still got the same result when I looked up.

There was nothing but that damn sun that never moved.

Feeling frustrated I sat up and huffed as I rested my chin on my knees, side glancing at the black hole that seemed to consume the left side of my dream. No way in hell was I going to try and explore what was over there. It was way too dark and creepy. Who knows what could be lurking in there…

I jumped when I heard voices again. This time I couldn't even make out what they were saying. It was just a bunch of low mumbles.

"Talk…she…hear…me?" that's all I could get from that deep husky voice…everything else it was saying seemed to be too low and depressing for me to try and understand.

Warmth slightly brushed up against my hand and I looked down at it to see what it was. To my disappointment nothing out of the ordinary was there. The feeling didn't seem to fade, though.

"I'll…alone…now"

UGH! I threw my body back down into the sand again, blinking repeatedly as if it would suddenly bring me back to reality. I'd give anything to know what the hell was happening to me right now. To my surprise, the warmth grabbed my attention again by engulfing my whole hand in it. I stared in confusion when a spark ran through my body because it felt as if someone had gently kissed the top of it. I no longer felt so alone and forgotten. Now I just felt safe, like someone was watching out for me.

"…love…you."

The moment I heard the words a familiar feeling settled deep inside of me. A tingly feeling, like butterflies were now flying around inside of me. I didn't know why I reacted the way I did to the words, but something told me that there was something obvious that I was missing…something that I should know already.

**i hope you don't hate me -_o i hope you liked my cool doctor reference skills (i get it from watching so much grey's anatomy) i researched that brain info for you XD now if that isn't commitment then i don't know what is... i guess i just wanted to actually make sense instead of confuse people lol **

**next chapter will be...i don't know...it will be something though o.O**

**hope you feel like clicking that lonely little button down there and writing me a nice little review. If you don't let me know what you're thinking while you're reading this then i will feel like a failure...**

**and on that note, i leave you to it**

**~KK**


	35. 34 Tomorrow

**Oh look i updated o_o **

**well i don't have much to say this time except for sorry for the wait haha **

Song for this Chapter- Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin

Chapter 34

Tomorrow

**Paul's POV**

Seconds.

Minutes.

Hours.

Days.

Weeks.

Months.

Years.

I didn't know when she would wake up. Nobody, not even the doctors and nurses taking care of her, knew and it scared the hell out of me. There was a possibility that it could be tonight or even next week. Or next year…

…or she could never wake up.

I closed my eyes and desperately squeezed her hand that I was holding. There was no response. She didn't squeeze my own hand in return. She didn't kiss me to let me know that everything was going to be ok. She didn't do anything. I looked at her, wincing when I saw the tubes that seemed to be sticking out of every place possible.

It's been a week. A full seven days that she's been in this vegetative state. And I felt completely helpless. Day in day out I sit here, waiting for her to wake up. I haven't left her side or let go of her hand. Only when they come in to give her daily dose of meds do I leave to shower and change clothes. Other than that I eat, sleep, and slowly wither away in here. I just sit in this pathetic excuse for a chair and hope that her eyes will open. And it hasn't happened yet. I'm not even sure it will.

I shook my head to stop myself from thinking like that. I had to stay positive because there's a possibility she could sense that I'm giving up hope. Her doctor told me that she could possibly sense a heavy atmosphere if she were aware enough. So, he recommended that we try to stay calm around her and me being the temperamental one, well I knew I wasn't doing so well with that.

I inhaled a deep breath of air and slowly exhaled in order to calm myself down. Lately it's been hard to keep myself under control with the way everyone has been acting. The whole pack has come and visited a couple times already and just taking one look at Embry made me want to throw myself off a skyscraper. And Kim and Emily's reactions were even worse than his. I remember it like it had just happened ten seconds ago. I could still hear what Jared whispered to Kim and I could still feel my body trembling.

-*-*-*-

_I stared at the heart rate monitor that she was hooked up to, watching the green line move up and down on the screen. Footsteps were heading towards the room along with the faint sound of sobbing. I looked down at Sammy and kissed the top of her hand._

"_I guess the doctor told them," I whispered, "I know how much you love being the center of attention," I joked, trying to talk to her like I would any other day. _

_Suddenly, everything in the room changed. The tension began to build and I heard each of their breaths hitch as they stood in the doorway. Kim began to cry softly while Jared told her over and over again that she was going to be ok. But the way he said it had me convinced that he was unsure of that just as much as Kim was. _

"_Paul," Sam put his hand on my shoulder, "Are you ok?"_

_I didn't say anything. I couldn't come up with an answer that I believed I could say in front of her if she was able to hear our voices. I knew anything I would say would be a lie. I touched a strand of Sammy's hair with my free hand and furrowed my eyebrows. Questioning again why this had to happen to her out of all people. _

_Sam dropped his hand down to his side and went back over to Emily. I didn't have enough strength in me to turn my head around and take a look at their faces. Doing that would surely ruin me. But trying to save myself from hurting even more than I already was seemed impossible. Kim's sobbing seemed like it would be my breaking point. I knew she was trying her hardest not to do it, but I understood why she couldn't. _

"_Do you want to leave the room for a minute?" Jared whispered as lowly as he could. _

_She must've nodded or something because the next thing I knew her crying got even louder as the two of them headed out into the hallway. Or maybe it was just me thinking it was getting worse. _

"_How could this happen?"_

_I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to tune everything out for the time being so I wouldn't have to hear this. But for some reason I couldn't do it, I heard every single word. _

"_Why did he want to hurt her so bad?" Kim asked in between each sob. _

_I let go of Sammy's hand because I felt my temper begin to take over. All I could manage to do now was rest my closed fist up against the side of her arm. I didn't want to let go completely just so that she wouldn't think I left, "I don't know, Kim," Jared answered in a soft and soothing tone. _

_My jaw clenched and I felt the urge to cover my ears with my hands just so I wouldn't have to hear this. I knew they were trying to stay quiet for my sake, but that obviously wasn't working. _

"_She's going to be fine, you have to believe that."_

_I looked up at the heart rate monitor again, hoping that the beeping would grow louder and drown out their voices. _

"_Did you see the bruises on her wrists, Jared? And her neck…," she whispered, "What were they trying to do to her?"_

_I began to tremble even worse than I was two seconds ago. Stupidly, I looked over my shoulder and finally acknowledged the three other people that were in the room. As if doing this would help my sanity._

_Jared stayed quiet for a couple of minutes before he finally figured out something he could say to her, "Nothing pleasant," he mumbled._

_Sam was eyeing me from the corner where he was holding Emily and Jacob was still standing in the doorway, just staring at Sammy from there, looking guilty. A grumble began to build inside my chest. How could he feel guilty? He didn't do anything wrong, I did._

"_But he's dead now, Kim. He can't hurt her, you, or anyone else anymore."_

_I turned my head around and looked at Sammy's face. I made a mistake by letting my eyes wander down to her neck because as soon as I did, I snapped._

_Before I could fly off the handle though, Sam stopped me by putting a firm hand on my shoulder, "You don't want to do this now, Paul. With what's going on I doubt you'd be able to phase back." _

_I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth deeply several times before I managed to stop shaking. _

"_This is my fault," I muttered mostly to myself. _

"_You know that isn't true, Paul. No one is blaming you for what happened, not even Sammy is. If you blame yourself then you might as well blame the rest of us. We were all there." I put my head in my hands and felt physically and emotionally drained, "Come on, we have to figure out what we're going to tell them."_

-*-*-*-

I sighed loudly as I thought about the lie we had to come up with just so that the doctors wouldn't think that I was the one that did this to her. Not only did we have to lie, but we also had to make that lie believable and without loopholes.

I ran my thumb over the ring that was on her finger.

Basically, the story was that Sammy had been abducted while I was working. I came home to find no sign of her and called her cell phone numerous times, but she didn't pick up. I went out searching for her along with the rest of the pack and ended up finding nothing. It wasn't until the next morning that I found her in the woods at the bottom of a ditch where she must've hit her head. I told them I found her with her head up against a rock in a pool of blood.

I shuddered. There was truth in that. She was taken away against her will and we searched for her. But I failed to mention the fact that it was a bunch of bloodsuckers that took her. I also failed to mention that they could've killed her with one finger if they wanted. And we might've left out the fact that this 'kidnapper' was her ex who only wanted to hurt her because of me and who could've possibly assaulted her in more ways than one.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing, trying not to lose control of myself. I brought my hand that was still intertwined with Sammy's up close to my face and breathed in her fruity aroma, knowing that it would calm me down. It seemed to work every other time I felt like I was going to lose it.

A knock on the door caused me to freeze up. I was afraid that it was going to be her father. I did not feel like reliving the day that her dad arrived at the hospital. Let's just say Sam had to restrain him from strangling me and I had to leave the room or else he was going to make sure I could never see his daughter again. It was a very joyful experience…

I cautiously looked over at the doorway and semi-relaxed when I saw Jacob standing there.

"How is she?" he asked.

I didn't really understand what Jacob's problem was lately. He hasn't been in here since the day that he was told that Sammy was in a coma. From reliable sources, he's been moping around his house like nothing happened.

I narrowed my eyes, "So, did you finally realize she was in a coma? Or did Billy force you to come here?"

Jake's jaw clenched, "Neither."

I scoffed at him, "Everyone has been in and out of here except for you. Even Leah's come in here a couple of times!"

He didn't react in any sort of way. All he did was stand there looking down at the floor.

I shook my head and looked away from him, "She's dangling by a thread, Jake," I said.

I saw him flinch out of the corner of my eye, "You think I don't know that?"

"Yeah, I do," I focused on the engagement ring settled on her finger, "So, explain to me, Jacob. Why the hell are you acting like you did something wrong?" I paused, "Why are you trying to run from this?" Because I should be the only one who feels like they did something wrong here.

He walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down in the seat that was there, his eyes focused on the IV that was sticking out of her arm, "I did something I shouldn't have before this happened…something I wish I could take back."

I ran my finger up and down her arm over and over again, "What did you do?"

He kept his hands in his lap and just stared at her hand in a timid way. It was like he wanted to hold it but was afraid to because he felt that she would break if he tried, "I told her about Renesmee and she freaked out when I told her that Renesmee was half vampire, half human," I didn't look up at him or say anything I just waited for him to continue, "I got defensive and yelled at her for saying that Renesmee could kill someone."

A low growl escaped from my mouth, "You can't blame Sammy for that. Sean and his bloodsucking minions were hunting her down at the time. She was scared, Jacob. The only view of vampires she's ever gotten is them wanting to kill her."

"I know that," he kept his head down now, "I was stupid and overreacted."

I finally looked at him, knowing how that felt, "We all overreact when it comes to our imprints," I lightly squeezed Sammy's hand and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said, "This never should've happened…especially not to her."

Neither of us said anything. Nothing could be heard except for the sound of the heart rate machine beeping. It stayed that way for a while. And the longer I stared at her face for the more broken I felt inside.

"She's going to pull through this," I felt like I was saying this to reassure myself rather than reassure Jacob. If I was saying this for myself, then it wasn't helping me at all.

**Sammy's POV**

I felt my spine begin to tingle as my hand was enveloped in warmth again. A small smile tugged on my lips as I felt the invisible shelter of protection surround me. I opened my eyes and looked at my hand for a minute, the voices posing as background music. Just lying there and staring at my hand got boring after a while. I stood up and scanned the area around me, wondering where else I could go. And then as soon as I looked down at my feet I figured it out.

I turned around and began to follow the small line that separated the darkness from the light into the trees. I kept walking and walking, but there was nothing but trees. No road or houses, just the endless forest. I sat down on the ground and brought my knees in close to my torso. There were no bugs or birds making noises, just the mumbled words that the two voices kept speaking. I couldn't feel any sort of wind brushing past me, only the heat that covered my hand.

My eyelids closed and I put my face in my hands, feeling the warmth of one and the cold of the other. I wish I knew a way out of this place or what this place even was. There was nothing here, nothing but me and the blue and grey sky. The only thing that was keeping me from feeling alone was the feel of someone holding my hand and the voices. If that would all suddenly go away I don't know what I'd do.

And as if something actually heard me and felt that I didn't deserve to know what I'd do, the warmth and voices went away.

"I'll…back," was the last thing I heard.

I pulled my hands away from my face and stared at them, not being able to blink. I bit down on my tongue as hard as I possibly could so that I wouldn't scream. A familiar and unwanted feeling took control over me now. Every time the warmth would go away it would come back. Knowing how bad I felt whenever it did come back, I stood up and began to walk again to try and clear my head. I headed back to the beach and ended up in the same place that I started at. As I stared out at the ocean a question popped up in my mind.

Now what?

I sighed loudly, trying to come up with an answer. If only I had someone here with me. If only I could hear the voice in my ear that always seemed to cheer me up. If only I actually knew who the voice belonged to…

I was about ready to give up when I started to smell something. I recognized it as vanilla cupcakes. The smell was coming from the brighter side. My eyebrows pressed together as the smell only got stronger. The more I questioned what it could be the better the scent seemed to get. I felt as if I should know why I suddenly smelled cupcakes, but I only came up blank when I tried to figure it out. I turned towards the light and breathed in a big whiff of it.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head and I froze. I saw my mother's face and that was all I could see. I saw her smiling at me. All of this caused the memories of her to hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt the urge to walk in that direction, but then I remembered what happened the last time I tried and I stopped myself.

I bit on my lip as everything about her only seemed to become clearer. Whenever I inhaled I would smell her and see images of her in my head. A question posed itself.

What could happen if I went over there?

I could possibly see her. How much would I risk to see her? "I'd risk everything," I mumbled, taking a step forward. I could hear that annoying noise again, but it was tolerable. I took another step in the direction of the smell. I could find a way out of here.

That did it for me, I was soon ignoring the cons of walking away from my line of safety and just thinking about seeing my mother again.

**Paul's POV**

I walked through the hospital as fast as I could without having people looking at me like I was psychotic. Every time I went home I felt even guiltier than I did when I was with her. She would know that I wasn't there and start to panic. I tried calming myself down by telling myself that she was in a coma and probably didn't notice at all. But in the pit of my stomach I knew that she could hear and feel everything.

I made my way down the hallway and suddenly felt extremely tense. For a moment I stopped walking and just stood there, trying to figure out why this was feeling was creeping up on me. I shook my head and tried to clear it as I began to walk again. It's nothing, she's fine, you're fine, everyone's fine. She's fine, you're fine, everyone's fine.

When I walked into the room I saw a couple of nurses and Sammy's doctor all hovering around her, looking as if something was wrong.

She's fine…you're fine…everyone's-

"What's going on?" I asked.

They all looked up when they heard me. I looked down at Sammy before I looked at their faces. Yes, something was definitely wrong.

"Her extensor motor responses are vacant."

My jaw clenched, "Is that a bad thing?" I knew the answer already…I just needed to be sure.

He paused for a minute, "Yes…" He paused, "I'm sorry, but it could possibly mean her brain is no longer active."

I felt my self control slowly start to slip away with every word he spoke. My hands formed into fists at my side. And as if what he said already wasn't enough to put me over the edge he continued.

"I would like to talk to her father about this and the procedures we're going to have to go through before discussing the possibilities of taking her off of life support."

I flinched, "Taking her off of life support?" I nearly growled at him.

"If her brain is unresponsive, then it might be the best option."

I breathed deeply in and out, "Ok," I muttered before I practically ran out of the hospital. I knew I couldn't take this anymore; I was losing control of myself. I reached the edge of the forest and quickly took off my clothes, barely managing to kick my shoes off before I phased.

I howled repeatedly letting go of the emotions that had been building up inside of me for the past week. I needed to do this. Making sure that no one was stuck inside of my head, I let everything go. Taking all the anger I was feeling out on myself, trying to cause myself pain. I deserved this. I did, not her. She shouldn't be the one going through this, I should. I wanted to badly to take her place, but I knew that I couldn't do that. I had to watch her go through it.

My eyes closed and my legs suddenly went numb. I fell to the ground and laid there, trying to go back to a time when everything seemed to be ok. A time when I felt like I was going to have Sammy with me forever. Now all I can hope for is that I'll have her with me tomorrow.

**:,( sadness....**

**Review :D **

**i know it's weird i really have nothing to say this time...woah**


	36. 35 Light in the Dark

**sorry for the wait but there's just been a lot of drama in my life lately -sigh- all i can say is...i cannot wait until school is over with...**

**besides my drama filled life i hope you enjoy this chapter :) it was made special for all of you **

Song for this Chapter- Need by Hana Pestle

Chapter 35

Light in the Dark

**Paul's POV**

_It was dark. All that I knew was that it was dark and I couldn't see anything. Well I couldn't see anything except for a light ahead of me. I could only make out one single figure in that light. In my head I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up and think that it was who I thought it was. Screw that…_

_I walked forward, but every single step I took was another one the figure took as well. I stopped myself when I was sick of walking and realized that I wasn't getting any closer to the figure. Whoever it was stopped just as abruptly as I did and it began to piss me off when I couldn't even know if this was truly the one person I wanted it to be. _

_It took every ounce of strength that I had in me to call out her name, "Sammy?" it came out more like a question when I finally spit it out. _

_I waited for a while, my patience wearing thin the longer they stood there with their back turned towards me. I thought that all hope was lost when suddenly she turned around and faced me. I could no longer see anything but her perfect face. Everything else around me seemed to blur and Sammy was the only thing clear to me. I felt as if it were too good to be true, I couldn't be seeing her. This couldn't be her. She was in a coma. And yet there she stood looking perfectly fine. _

_But it all wasn't perfect. I could see the confusion on her face as she stared right through me. _

**Sammy's POV**

I swore to myself that I wouldn't go crazy in this place. I made a fake pact with my head that I wouldn't go insane. But here I was, thinking that I actually knew where the voice was coming from this time. I kept my eyes on the darkness that seemed extremely far away from me now. All was silent now, but I could've sworn that I heard-

"Sammy?"

What the hell?!

I took a step back, tempted to keep heading away from the dark. Maybe if I stayed farther away from it, my mind would just go back to normal.

"Don't go. Please don't go."

I froze, not wanting to believe that the voice that had been so calming and soothing before was suddenly desperate and frantic. It scared me that he sounded so scared. I squinted to try and see someone, anyone from here, but I could only hear them. And it was clear to me that their beautiful voice was coming from that terrible place.

"You can't leave, Sammy," their voice cracked.

I felt a familiarity overcome me when they said my name. I wanted to cry just as much as them just because I couldn't place my finger on who he exactly was.

"You can't leave me."

I shook my head, feeling my eyes begin to water the longer I stood there staring blankly at the darkness. I took a couple more steps backwards until I finally convinced myself that I had to keep searching for her. Without giving it a second thought, I turned around and kept walking, no longer being able to hear the voice.

**Paul's POV**

My eyes fluttered open and as soon as they did I wished that they didn't. I furrowed my eyebrows and laid my head back down on the ground. I hoped that that nightmare would stay a nightmare. I hoped that since I fell asleep in wolf form things were ok with Sammy and everything I was dreaming about was fake. I don't think I've ever fallen asleep while I was a big huge wolf…

_That's a first, _I didn't notice that Jared was there until he said that.

_Did you uh…see any of that? _I slowly rose off of the ground and shook the mud and twigs out of my fur.

Jared was there in front of me less than a second later, thinking about nothing else but what the doctor must've told him. I tried to ignore all of his depressing thoughts, but failed miserably because mine weren't much better.

_Does Kim know? _I asked.

He didn't look at me when he answered, _Yeah…she's not taking it too well. _I looked over my shoulder in the direction of the hospital, _They're doing the MRI in about an hour. _

I nodded, wishing that I could've been there to hear that myself.

_You needed the sleep. _

I begrudgingly looked up at him, _Hearing what's going to happen to her is a lot more important to me than sleep. _

His gaze faltered away from me, _Sorry. _

I didn't really realize how much everything was affecting him until right about now. Since I haven't phased since…the accident I never really got to see how he was holding up. And let me tell you it was no better than how I was holding up.

A sudden thought slipped into his head and my head snapped up, _Why is Kim postponing the wedding? _

He cursed to himself before looking at me, shamefully; _She wanted Sammy to be her maid of honor. And now that she could possibly be-_ I winced which caused him to stop himself from finishing that sentence, _Kim doesn't want to plan anything with the way things are right now. _

I honestly felt bad for the two of them. If it wasn't for my careless mistake, then they would be finishing their wedding plans right now and we would be helping them. They shouldn't have to postpone their wedding. Sammy shouldn't be on the brink of death. I shouldn't be standing here perfectly fine.

_Paul, _Jared nearly growled, _you need to stop putting all the blame on yourself. It is_ not_ your fault. _

I ignored what he said, _I have to get back to the hospital. _

He sighed unnecessarily loud, _You're going to go back there looking like you just returned from the pits of hell? _

I chuckled without humor. He was only partially wrong about that one. I hadn't returned from the pits of hell, I was still very much stuck in them.

_Forget I said that. Just go home and change before you get near the hospital. Embry and Dana are with Sammy. _

_Are you going? _I asked as I began to run in the direction of my house.

_I was already there, _an image of him next to Sammy's hospital bed fluttered through his head, _I'm going home. I'll be back with Kim in time to hear what the results are. _

Jared finally phased and I ran even faster as I got closer to my house and farther away from the hospital. I ignored the distance that was between me and my imprint for the moment and quickly phased back once I reached the woods that lined my backyard. I hopped in and out of the shower in less than ten minutes, only bothering to clean the mud out of my hair while I let the shower head clean the mud off of the rest of my body. I grabbed an old pair of khaki shorts and a white t-shirt before I flew down the stairs and headed out the door. I quickly tied the clothes around my ankle and carried a pair of shoes in my teeth before I phased and fled through the woods.

Once I reached the hospital and changed into the clothes I had brought with me I went straight to Sammy's room, my heart beating rapidly in my chest while I walked. I stopped in the doorway of her room once I saw Embry and Dana sitting next to Sammy's bed. I could practically smell the fear coming off of both of them. I bet Embry could smell it even more on me. I was honestly scared as hell. Not knowing if her brain was active or not was killing me. It was killing all of us by the looks of it.

Embry rubbed Dana's shoulder as she cried into his chest. At least things were getting better for one of us. I couldn't say anything for the rest of my brothers. Embry glanced at me and I nodded once at him before taking a single step into the room.

"She's going to be ok," Embry kissed the top of Dana's head.

Dana slowly started to recover and finally noticed that I was standing in the room. She seemed to tense up when she saw me.

"Paul," she shakily said.

I tried to put a smile on my face to reinforce Embry's earlier statement, but I could even feel my lips quivering with how much I was forcing it.

The two of them stood up and headed over towards me and when Dana was finally in range, she wrapped her arms around my torso and sobbed softly against me. I looked at Embry wearily.

"Stay strong," she whispered to me.

I leaned down closer to her, "I will."

Minutes later, I found myself alone in the room with her. It seemed as if I had been away for an extremely long time because the hole in my chest wouldn't heal right away. I walked up to the bed and ran my fingers up her leg to her thigh and kept going until they were finally set on her cheeks.

"I love you, you know," I said to her, "I've loved you my whole life, Sammy," My fingers lightly grazed over her soft lips and I brought my face closer to hers, resting my forehead against her left temple, "Don't leave me yet," I kissed her once on the cheek and breathed in her sweet scent, never wanting to forget it.

I had stayed with her until the doctors came in and told me they were going to take her in for her MRI. With one more kiss on her cheek and a light squeeze of her hand I let them take her away from me. As soon as she was out of my sight I felt a huge weight begin to tie me down. I sat in the waiting room alone, feeling positive one moment and then negative the next.

Suddenly, Sammy's father walked into the waiting room which made the weight on my shoulders push down on me even harder. I tried to keep my eyes off of him so that he wouldn't notice me and wouldn't try to kill me this time. I heard his footsteps getting closer and I silently cussed to myself, wishing that he would leave me alone. As if the tension in the room wasn't already bad, he had to sit in the seat right next to me. I fixated on my feet and tried to pass off the sideways glances he would give me every now and then as nothing.

"I still can't believe this happened," he said. I didn't look at him, I just listened, "Never in a million years would I have believed that something like this, something so life threatening could happen to my daughter. After what happened with her mother I didn't think that I'd be sitting here waiting to figure out if Sammy's brain is still working."

I felt extremely guilty at that point, "Mr. Hobson-,"

"You were supposed to protect her, Paul," his voice became sharp and fierce, "You were her best friend and then you just threw it all away. If you could've seen with your own eyes how much you _hurt _her-,"

"I'm sorry," I had to say it before I no longer had the chance to. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

He looked set back by my apology. The words of hatred that he was going to throw at me seemed to get stuck in his throat because I said something he wasn't expecting me to say. He sighed and slumped back in his seat, putting his face in his hands, "This isn't your fault. I shouldn't be screaming at _you_. I should be screaming at the ones responsible."

My jaw clenched. If only he knew that the ones responsible were already taken care of. If only he knew that everything we told him was a big fat lie, "I'm sorry for what I did to her. I wish I could take it all back."

"I know you do," he said, sounding a lot more understanding than I thought he would, "At least now I know Billy's been telling me the truth this whole time."

Now it was my turn to choke on my words.

"I know you imprinted on my daughter. I know everything, known for years. Probably before you even knew."

I felt numb. How the hell did he know?

And as if he could read my mind he answered my question, "My father was a shape shifter. I posses the genetic trait, but I never became one."

I had to stop myself from falling out of the chair I was sitting in. But didn't that mean? I mean Leah…"So…Sammy-,"

"It hasn't happened yet, I doubt it ever will."

I felt a bit of relief in that, but couldn't fully shake it off, "So, you've known all along? You've known about imprinting and vampires all along?" I whispered so that only he could hear.

He nodded, "Don't think I didn't hate you any less just because you imprinted on my daughter after all. You still broke her heart and I can't say I forgive you for that."

"I understand," what I don't understand is how I didn't know that Sammy's father knew about all of this…

It had gone silent after that. I couldn't really come up with anything else to say. I was focusing more on trying to clear my head a little than on striking up another conversation with her father. If I did I bet it'd just be as revealing and awkward as the last one.

"Billy told me what really happened to Sammy since I assume you think that I don't know about that either."

What a great way to start it off, "I'm sorry. If I wasn't so stupid, then this never would've happened to her."

"I wouldn't take it that far, Paul," he sighed, "Bad things happen to good people. A situation like this can only be the fault of those who are the cause of the bad things," he paused for a long moment, "You aren't the cause of this."

My eyebrows pressed together, "I just can't shake the guilt off of my conscience. I was right there next to her when they took her. I should've been able to stop them."

"But you couldn't," My mouth clamped shut. How could I make him understand how terrible I felt? How much I hated myself for what happened to her? What could I say to him? He patted me on the shoulder and said, "You know, you're the best thing that's ever happened to my daughter and yet you're the worst at the same time. I can't say I don't appreciate how much you've helped my daughter throughout the years because I'd be lying if I did. You have always been there for her. Even when she moved back you were there. You protected her when I couldn't. You hurt her, but you made up for it. And all I can say now is I'm glad you two have each other. And I'll be glad to call you my son-in-law some day when she recovers."

I felt good and bad about his last words. Good because he was letting me know that he approves of me marrying his daughter. Bad because it was all a reminder of how much I would lose if Sammy didn't make it.

I finally saw the doctor begin to make his way into the waiting room where practically the whole pack and their imprints were seated. When he saw all of us in there he stopped abruptly and scanned each one of our faces until he finally set his eyes on Mr. Hobson who was still sitting next to me. He called her father into the next room so they could talk. I felt my muscles tense because I knew that all of us would be able to hear despite the dry wall that separated us from the one person who held Sammy's fate in his hands.

"Mr. Hobson we have the results of your daughter's MRI," he spoke in an uneasy voice.

My hands clenched around the arms of the chair I was sitting on.

"And? Is she ok?"

The doctor paused. And that one moment of silence was all I needed to hear to know. I felt my eyelids slowly begin to close as my world literally shattered to pieces.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this Mr. Hobson, but your daughter's brain doesn't appear to be active any longer."

I didn't feel anything. I could only hear the two of their voices coming from the next room.

"Is…is there anything you can do for her? Anything that…that could help her…recover?"

"There isn't much that can be done. I can only recommend you to take her off of life support."

"Oh God," I heard her father as he broke down.

I didn't understand why I wasn't shaking yet. Usually hearing things like this would cause me to be on the verge of phasing. But everything else I've heard before couldn't possibly compare to what I was hearing now. I didn't bother to open my eyes and see everyone else around me, what their faces looked like was already etched into my brain. I tried to breathe, but it seemed as if my body had shut down on me. And I knew exactly why.

Sammy's life was taken away from her and I can't find it in me to cope with the fact that she's gone. Her body had given up on her and mine was starting to as well.

I felt something warm on either of my shoulders, "Paul," was all I heard them say. I kept seeing her in my head and didn't pay attention to whoever was trying to talk to me. I saw what we could've been and what would never happen for the both of us now. I saw what our kids could've looked like, what she would've looked like with a kid on either of her hips. I saw how beautiful she would've looked walking down the aisle towards me. I saw everything I didn't need to see, everything that would haunt me for the rest of my days.

And they would only be my days. Not ours. Not hers. Just mine.

They told me that I had to come and see her again. Sam said I had to do it or else I'd regret it for the rest of my life. After two hours of me protesting, I finally built up enough courage to actually do it. I walked into the room, watching as the machine pumped oxygen into her lungs. I looked at everything except for her.

There's no simple way to prepare to say goodbye to your soul mate for the last time. I didn't google what things I should and shouldn't say to her before it was time for us to go our separate ways. Even if I did say anything to her, I knew this time she wouldn't be able to hear me or understand me. She was already gone.

I felt the knife begin to turn inside of me. How could she give up on me?

When the question posed itself I felt betrayal start to overpower everything else I was feeling. I pushed it all aside when I realized that she didn't betray me. She tried to fight, but she had lost. She was the unlucky one.

I shuffled closer to the bed where she was lying and looked directly at her closed eyelids. They would never open again, I'd never be able to see her brown eyes again. She'd never speak again. I wouldn't be able to hear her laugh again.

I fell into the chair as soon as I reached it. I rested my elbows on the bed and buried my face in my hands. An overwhelming amount of salt water began to make its way down both of my cheeks. I took all of my anger, hate, love, and pain and let it out in the form of tears. I couldn't care less about how much of a wimp I was being or how weak I seemed. Sammy was taken away from me. My soul mate was taken away and now I have nothing left.

"You can't be doing this to me, not now when things were finally going good for us," I mumbled, "Please, Sammy, don't do this. I know I've hurt you, but you can't do this to me. You can't leave me," I said, desperately trying to come up with anything that would make her come back to me, "I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I wish I could take it all back. I wonder every single day how different things would be if I didn't let you go three years ago," I grabbed her hand and rested my forehead on top of it, "I'm sorry, Sammy," I whispered, "I'm sorry I ever did it. I've tried everything I could to show you how sorry I am," the tears kept adding to the flood, "I love you, Sammy. I always have. Even in the moments when you thought I didn't, I did. You just can't do this to me. You…can't," I felt completely defeated then, my mind was no longer functioning correctly. It was like I was slipping away right along with her.

**Sammy's POV**

I couldn't control the tears as they came out in gallons. I rolled myself up into a ball and cried softly to myself as I took in every word the voice was saying to me. Even though I was so far away from the darkness, I could hear it as clear as ever. It broke my heart to hear it.

"Please," they spit out, their voice sounding weak, "I don't want to let go of you yet."

And as they spoke, they became more and more familiar to me. It began to feel like strings were pulling on me, begging me to move. I tried to stay where I was as best as I could.

"I need you. We all need you. Kim wants you to be her maid of honor and Jacob wants to apologize for what he did."

Kim…Jacob.

"And you have to be here to see Sam and Emily's baby. You can't do this now."

I sat up and wiped my face dry, going over all of the names in my head, "Sam and Emily," I repeated to myself.

"I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me, Sammy. I want to have a family with you. So, please…please don't do this."

I stood up completely and looked towards the darkness where I could barely see a small bit of light. A single word formed on my lips, "Paul," I said as I stared out in front of me.

"I love you, Sammy."

I looked over my shoulder and thought about my mother and how badly I had wanted to find her, but then I looked back at the darkness and felt myself being tugged forward again. I felt as if I wasn't finished with something, like Paul needed me more and my mom was letting me go. I began to cry all over again as I walked, keeping my eyes on the little light that shined desperately ahead.

**sooo..... well i hope you guys haven't given up hope on this story because there is more to come**

**i really don't know what to say except i kinda cried while writing Paul's POV i know i'm lame but yes i cried XD **

**hope you loved it enough to review :)**

**~KK**


	37. 36 Only For You

**WOOHOO i finally managed to update :D**

**sorry for the wait guys. I'm supposed to be getting my own laptop soon so it should be easier to write. But for now you'll have to settle for getting chapters a little longer than usual :/ I'm also thinking about posting a story on fictionpress so it might cut into Best Friends No More updates. Let me say now SORRY SORRY SORRY! D:**

**ONE MORE IMPORTANT THING!**

**the bring me to life awards have started and Sammy and Paul would like to know how much you like their story so PLEASE nominate this story for an award. The link for the website is on my profile page. Sammy and Paul would appreciate it :)**

**anyways, enjoy!**

Song for this Chapter- Without You by Breaking Benjamin**  
**

Chapter 36

Only For You

**Paul's POV**

I watched as the machines pumped oxygen into her lungs. I knew that keeping Sammy hooked up to all of these machines was useless because she supposedly wasn't there anymore. The doctors told me that they were going to give it another week to see if her brain would become active again. If it didn't, then they would take her off of life support. If it did…well it'd be a miracle. He said that there was a one in a million chance that she would regain brain activity. I was holding onto that fact, hoping that she would be one in a million and the big man upstairs would give her a second chance at life. I didn't know what I would do with myself if she didn't pull through this.

I heard footsteps behind me. Kissing the top of Sammy's hand I looked over my shoulder to see who it was, not at all surprised to see her father standing in the doorway. I forced a grin on my face and kissed Sammy one more time before I stood up to leave.

"I'll be back soon," I told her, even though she most likely couldn't hear me.

Dan patted my shoulder, "Go home for a while, I'll stay with her."

I nodded, staring down at my imprint, hoping that she would magically open her eyes right here and now.

"I'll let you know if anything changes," he added.

I sighed as my eyes began to feel heavier. I haven't been able to sleep lately with what's been happening. Just two days ago I was told that my soul mate's brain was no longer working. There is no way in hell that I'd be able to sleep after hearing something like that. But right now, I'm wishing that I'll calm down enough to sleep for a little while.

When I finally convinced myself that she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon I turned around and left. I quickly took off the clothes I was wearing and phased, carrying them in my mouth as I ran. No one was in their wolf form but me which I was extremely thankful for. I didn't need to hear what they were thinking about right now. I tried to clear my head as the wind whipped in my face. This is probably the most content I've felt in a while. Maybe I'll be able to stay that way for more than five minutes.

I phased back to human form and stood at the edge of the forest, holding onto a tree for support. Damn, if I would've known I was this tired I would've just use clothes pins to force my eyes to stay closed. I blinked a couple of times and managed to build up enough energy to get inside the house and take a quick shower. Once I was finished I changed into a fresh pair of cut off shorts and a grey t-shirt before I headed into the bedroom. I stopped dead in my tracks once I picked up a painfully familiar scent…Sammy's scent. I walked downstairs in an attempt to get away from it, but her sweet aroma even haunted me down there. I would've expected it not to be as strong as it usually is because she hasn't been here in a while, but unfortunately it was.

I stared at the floor as I stood at the bottom of the stairs, reliving the day where everything changed. I began to hate on myself once again. I knew I could've prevented all of this. I could've tried harder to keep her out of harm's way. I could've forced myself to stay awake that night. I could've woken up with her that morning and made sure that she was ok.

My fists began to shake as I kept thinking about all of the things I was capable of doing that day and how I didn't do any one of them. I was a fucking idiot for not being more careful.

I felt like I was on the verge of phasing and as much as I tried I couldn't think of anything that would calm me down. So I ran out of the house as quickly as possible and waited for it to happen.

It never did.

I didn't have enough energy to even phase. I rubbed my face with my hands and growled angrily at myself.

"You're a fucking coward," I kept bad mouthing myself like this for a while until I finally found a different way to let my anger out. I punched a couple of trees until my knuckles were bleeding. I waited until my hand began to throb before I went back inside. I trudged my way up the stairs and back into the bedroom, not even bothering to clean off the blood. Throwing myself onto the bed I closed my eyes in hopes that I'd be able to fall asleep. It was no use because as soon as my eyes were shut I saw Sammy. I could practically hear her screaming in pain.

I stared at the ceiling, feeling completely drained of everything. The only thing I felt anymore was miserable.

And as if I wasn't being tortured enough I smelled her fruity scent again. It seemed to consist of strawberries and mango.

"God damn it," I snarled, wanting to be rid of all of this already.

My gaze wandered in an attempt to get my mind off of her. But everything in this room reminded me of Sammy. I finally set my eyes on the pencils that were sitting on the desk. I sat up and glanced at my hand which was almost healed already. As I stared at the dry blood I thought about Sammy's drawings that Sean had ruined. I walked over to the desk and opened the top drawer, pulling out all of the small pieces of paper. I saw the words that were written in red but ignored them and flipped each of the pieces over, seeing little bits of her drawings on them. Then, as if a light bulb was turning on inside my head, I had an idea.

I scattered each of the pieces out on top of the desk and began to piece them all back together like a puzzle. I didn't know how much I'd be able to fix, but anything was better than nothing.

The second I walked out the door I saw Jared standing on my front porch…which used to be our front porch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bitterly.

He leaned up against the railing and didn't answer me. His head was pointed towards the ground and his eyes seemed distant.

"Hello?" I waved my hand in front of his face to try and get his attention. He peered up at me, his eyes still indicating that his thoughts were elsewhere.

"I can't stand seeing Kim this upset anymore," he admitted.

My mouth clamped shut. I mimicked his stance against the railing and crossed up arms over my chest, "Where is she now?"

He sighed, "At Sam and Emily's."

I nodded, not exactly knowing what I could say to him just so he wouldn't feel as miserable as me. The accident had stirred up every single pack member. If one of us was hurting all of us were especially if it was because of our imprint. This had an effect on all of us.

"I don't know what else I can say to reassure her that everything will be fine because the reality of it all is," he looked up at me cautiously, "nothing's fine."

I fidgeted uncomfortably, "Prepare for the worst," I mumbled.

Jared's eyes narrowed, "Your optimism is shocking," he replied sarcastically.

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

He began to walk towards me, "You're giving up."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I'm not giving up," I let a low growl escape from my lips.

"Yes, you are. I can see that you are."

I felt like I was being jabbed in the gut, "She's practically gone, Jared. She only has a week left to wake up and if she doesn't then…that's it."

He hesitated for a moment, "She'll wake up."

"How? Her brain isn't working any longer and it's been two weeks," I looked off into the distance, "I can't keep telling myself that she will get better, because if she doesn't make it then I won't be prepared for it. I'm better off being ready for the worst then not. I…I just know that even if she does wake up things aren't going to be the same. I mean what if she forgets who I am? What if she forgets everything?" I stared at Jared and watched as his head began to droop lower, "I have to be prepared for that…" I muttered.

"What if I said that there's a chance you could know what's going to happen?"

I stared at him as if he were crazy, "What are you going to do? Find a psychic?"

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Uh, Jacob kind of already did. That's why I came over here…" he made sure not to look at me.

"What are you talking about?" I took a step closer to him.

He sighed, "Alright I'm just going to say it. Jacob told us all that he asked the Cullens if Alice could go to the hospital while none of us were around and see if she saw anything."

I snarled, "You're fucking telling me that that leech is at the hospital right now, using her fucking powers on Sammy to see if she's going to live or die?" I tried not to flinch at my words.

Jared put both of his hands on either of my shoulders, "Calm down they all went hunting prior to this they won't kill anyone. Sam's close by and Carlisle is staying with Alice just to be sure she doesn't do anything."

I shoved him off of me, "And you decide to tell me this _now_?"

"Don't shoot the messenger," he raised his hands in a defensive way.

I rolled my eyes and ran to the back of the house, quickly stripping off my clothes and phasing. I felt Jared phase quickly after me.

_They're just trying to help._

I growled, _They should stay the fuck out of it. Who does Jacob think he is? _

_He's her friend,_ in Jared's thoughts I could clearly see that he didn't exactly approve of it either but he was desperate. He wanted to know what was going. I on the other hand could sit patiently and wait.

_I'm going to pummel his ass and finish off each of those bloodsuckers myself._

Jared quickened his pace and stood in front of me. I reluctantly stopped and shot daggers at him, _Get out of the way._

_Not until you calm down, _he stood there ready to attack me if he had to.

I took a couple of deep breaths, _Fine I won't kill them, _maybe, _I'll just get my point across._

_And your point is?_

_That they should keep their fangs to themselves, _I was about ready to just trample him.

Even if Jared didn't completely agree with me he still understood where I was coming from, _They don't have fangs._

I was set back by that, _What are you their lap dog? Or did you turn into Seth for the day?_

He rolled his eyes dramatically and finally moved out of the way, _Do what you want, but don't expect me to go along with it. Sam and the rest of the pack are waiting by the hospital. I won't help you if you do something stupid._

_I don't care, _I tuned him out after that and quickly made my way to the hospital. When I picked up the disgusting smell of the leeches I had to pinch the bridge of my nose in order to keep myself from throwing up.

I ignored my pack brothers as I made my way into the hospital, heated as hell and ready to kill. Sam shouted after me, telling me I'd regret it if I did this. I just chose to ignore him and continued on until I saw them, pale faced and all. Carlisle was standing beside the small pixie one as she stared foggily off into the distance.

"Get the fuck out of here," I practically shouted at them.

The bloodsuckers both turned to me and stopped concentrating on Sammy. I shakily took a couple of steps into the room.

"Paul, we mean no harm-,"

"The hell you don't," I spat at him. I heard footsteps coming toward the room, "Just get out of here before I rip both of your heads off."

I saw the small one begin to move toward me, "Please just let us finish."

I didn't listen to her, "Don't come near me," I warned.

She looked at me as if she were disappointed, "Ok, we'll leave."

Just then, Sam walked into the room along with the mind reading leech. It's a sight I never thought I'd see, a werewolf walking into the room beside a vampire. What was this world coming to?

"Paul back off," Sam ordered.

"You let them come here without telling me first. So no, Sam, I won't back off," I snapped.

"They're just trying to help."

I eyed all of them, "Just leave her alone. We don't need your help."

The pixie walked even closer to me which caused the other two to follow her just in case I decided to do something, "She's fighting for her life, Paul. It's not over," she said.

I felt slightly calmer, but just knowing what she is made me not want to believe her.

"He doesn't believe you," the asshole with the mind raping power butted in.

She rolled her eyes, "Of course he doesn't. Well believe it or not mutt it's true."

I growled, "Get out."

"Fine," she, along with Carlisle and Eduardo –or whatever the fuck his name is- finally listened to me and left. I felt every muscle in my body relax as the stench became more bearable. I looked to Sam, "I truly hate you, Sam."

He sighed, "What else is new."

I looked at Sammy and sat in the chair beside her bed, "Where was her dad while all of this was going on?"

"Getting food."

"And Jacob?" I was going to beat his ass wherever he was.

"Watching Renesmee."

Again my eyelids started to feel heavy. I rested my head on my hand that was resting on the arm of the chair and closed my eyes. I guess Jacob's beating will have to wait.

"You really should try to listen to Alice. She knows more than you think she does," I heard his voice getting farther and farther away as he headed out of the room.

"Shut up, Sam."

Even though I acted like I didn't believe her, I was hoping that what she said was right.

With her words repeating in my head, I finally fell asleep.

**Sammy's POV**

The closer I got to the dark, the weaker I felt. I was finding it hard to breathe and even harder to keep walking. The only thing that really kept me going was thinking about Paul. Anything else made me feel even weaker. I was getting extremely close to the little light in the dark when my body decided to give up on me and I collapsed to the ground.

I laid in the sand for what seemed like hours. I found it hard to keep my eyes open. I was ready to just sink in quick sand or something. My gaze concentrated on the only source of light in the darkness as I felt myself slowly slip away.

Just as I was on the brink of being completely gone, I heard him.

"Keep going," he said.

My eyes widened in alert. I searched for him because he sounded so close. I could almost feel his breath on my skin.

"I…can't," my voice sounded hoarse.

"Try," he whispered, "for me."

I held onto his words with everything I had and breathed in and out slowly. As soon as I felt I had enough strength I stood up and balanced myself.

"Only for you," I began to walk again, keeping my head up as I passed the line between the light and the dark and entered the unknown. Everything was fine so far. I just kept walking with my eyes set on the small light.

A couple of minutes later I entered a huge cluster of trees and did as best as I could to walk through them. But the longer I walked for the harder it was. I had to try and make my way through an immense amount of shrubs that were practically taller than I was. I would give anything for a machete to cut down all of this crap. It wasn't like I could see with how dark it was. I was walking blind.

It seemed to keep getting harder to reach the light but I could tell that I was making progress. And the more progress I made the worse I felt. I was running out of energy and being powered only by adrenaline now.

The only thing I was thinking about that kept me going was that I had to get to Paul. I kept telling myself that I had to get to him and then I would be ok. As long as I had him I was ok.

Nothing else mattered.

I sped up my pace, no longer caring about the shrubs. I was running as fast as possible when I finally reached the end of it all. It suddenly began to feel as if I was falling. White was all I saw and there was nothing but the white that surrounded me. I didn't care where I was going just so long as Paul was there. And I hoped that he would be there.

**So again PLEASE nominate this story for a bring me to life award if you think it deserves one (doesn't matter which category) the link is on my profile page  
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**and don't forget to leave your review at the sound of the beep...**

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**BEEEEP! :)  
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	38. Author's Note! Bring Me to Life Awards!

Author's Note:

I'm sorry that this is not another update because I know you are all waiting for one (don't worry it is coming very soon!) but right now I need your help. Thanks to all of you this story has been nominated for 7 bring me to life awards….7! :D I am so happy right now that I want to umm…scream….. but my sister is here and I'm using her laptop (shh she doesn't know o_o) sooo I don't think that's possible unless I do it in a pillow…hmmm

I would just like to thank all of you for nominating Best Friends No More for these awards and for how committed you all are to this story. Even if you don't review, just by putting this story on your story alert makes me feel like I'm not just doing this for myself.

And as if I haven't asked you enough already I would hope that you would be kind enough to vote for this story for the categories it was nominated for. I mean I was expecting to be nominated for just 1 or 2 awards and you guys nominated it for 7. Just wow….it's mindblowing….teehee

So, please vote for it on the website and I promise that an update is coming(a very good update). My laptop is on the way! Yay! So that will make it easier to update sooner. The link to the website is on my page. If you have trouble getting to the site then PM me or something.

And here are the awards that it is nominated for:

The 'in the dark' award

The 'cry your heart out' award

The 'pawprinted' award

The 'cliffhanger' award

The '007' award

The 'best fight' award

Another thing that surprised me is that I was nominate for the 'hero' award (best author). Now that is what really had me surprised. Not only did you guys think that this story was good enough to be nominated for an award, but you thought that I was too? o.o MINDBLOWING!

So if you believe that Best Friends No More is worthy of winning one of these awards then I ask you to please vote. And if you think that I am worthy of the 'hero' award then vote for that too. Thank you all for your dedication. I appreciate everything!

PEACE OUT!

~KK


	39. 37 Another World

**hello readers :D **

**sorry for the wait. I finally got my laptop so I should be able to update sooner than usual. So expect for an update soon. **

**This chapter turned out really different than from what it was originally going to be like. I like it though. I think you will too. I hope lol**

**So if some of you may know this story has been nominated for 6 bring me to life awards (and I was nominated for the best author award WHAT? was not expecting that AT ALL!) so if you haven't voted already than go and VOTE! the link is in my profile **

**I hope you all enjoy this :) **

Song for this Chapter- My Love by Sia (I love this song!)

Chapter 37

Another World

**Paul's POV**

It was Friday, the day that I was hoping wouldn't make an appearance. It was the last chance Sammy had to wake up. If she didn't, then by the end of the day they were going to pull the plug. I was trying as hard as I possibly could to not think about how much time was going by and she wasn't opening her eyes. I tried thinking about something other than time, but everytime it seemed like the clock was ticking right in my ear.

I groaned softly to myself and rubbed my face with the palm of my hands. Waiting was starting to become impossible for me. Not like it was impossible for me before, it was just brought to another level of impossibility.

My feet began to tap anxiously on the floor. I stared at Sammy's eyes, telling them to open in my head. I was starting to go crazy just waiting here to see if she was going to wake up. It would be a miracle if she did is what her doctor kept telling me. A miracle was all I could hold onto now.

My eyes immediately found the clock that was hanging up on the wall. The ticking seemed to get louder the longer I stared at the clock for. It kept reminding me that seconds were passing and she wasn't showing any signs that she was going to wake up.

Ugh this is ridiculous.

I stood up and walked towards the door, hoping that someone else was here to sit and wait with. Her father had run for a quick cup of coffee a little while ago. Everyone elses' whereabouts I didn't exactly know about.

I glanced out the door and looked to see if there was anyone I knew coming down the hall. I only saw a bunch of doctors and nurses. My gaze went to Sammy again. I wasn't going to leave her in the room alone. So, I guess I'll just have to deal with the annoying ticking noise by myself.

Looking up at the clock one more time, I headed back to the seat next to her bed and forced myself to keep my eyes off of the back wall.

"Please wake up," I whispered, folding my hands in my lap and closing my eyes.

I didn't want to believe that this was possibly the end. I could lose everything by the end of the day if she didn't pull through. I hadn't thought much about what I would do if they took her off of life support. No one in the pack had lost their imprints before. Could you really live without yor soul mate?

The more i thought about that question the more I believed that you couldn't. Because your imprint is what holds everything together. She's the one that completes you. If anyone lost that, then there was no more purpose for you to still be alive.

If I lose Sammy, I lose my purpose.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared down at my hands before I glanced up at Sammy for a moment.

My eyes began to feel damp as I looked at her. I tried to shake away the pain that I had constantly been feeling for three weeks. It was no use, I knew it wouldn't go away even if I tried. One single tear managed to trickle down the side of my face and as soon as it did I wiped it away and took a deep breath. I stood up and walked towards where the clock was hanging, staring straight at it. It was 2:43 already.

I narrowed my eyes at the clock and felt tempted to rip it off the wall. A low growl began to form in my throat. And it was all because of a freaking clock.

I swallowed down the growl before I headed back towards the door, "I'll be right back," I said to her before I found myself out in the hallway, trying to convince myself that I couldn't keep dwelling on what time it was. I leaned up against the wall right outside the door and watched the people as they passed by, hoping that someone would stop and distract me.

It seemed like I stood out there forever just waiting for someone to stop or at least for her father to get back. Maybe he just couldn't take it anymore. I looked to my left and stared at the open doorway that led to her room. It took all of the strength I had left in me to move towards that doorway. And once I was finally standing in it, looking at her from across the room I froze.

Her eyes looked as if they were beginning to flutter open. I figured either I was imagining things or she was really starting to wake up. I couldn't move I could only watch closely as what I thought would possibly never happen...happened.

She squinted at the harsh lights that were beating down on her and started to look around the room. I could see how confused and disoriented she was. She didn't understand where she was or how she even got there, but she was awake. I couldn't believe that she was awake.

I felt my frozen state start to melt away and the grimace that seemed to be permanently etched into my skin began to turn into a small smile.

Her eyes finally landed on me and instead of looking confused, she looked relieved.

"Sammy," I felt as if I could breathe again.

She smiled at me which caused my heart to stutter. I thought I'd never see her smile again.

I moved one foot in front of the other and slowly made my way over to the bed where she tracked me with her gaze. I took her hand in mine and kissed her on the cheek.

"I have to get the doctor, I'll be back soon," I kissed her once more on her left temple, letting my lips linger there for a minute before I left to find her doctor.

***  
I waited by the doorway while they checked on her. They told me that they had to check her vital signs to be sure that she was actually awake and her eyes weren't just open. But I knew that she was awake. The imprint pull was stronger now, stronger than it has been for the last three weeks.

The sound of someone running caused me to whip my head around. Of course her father was rushing to get here. I called him and told him the news and now he's here less than five seconds later. I'd probably do the same thing if I heard news like that.

"How is she?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"She's fine, they're just checking up on her to be sure that she's really awake."

He poked his head inside the door and sighed in relief, "Thank God she's awake."

I nodded in agreement. Even though I was happy that she was awake, there was still all of the what ifs of what came with her waking up. What if she didn't remember me? What if she wouldn't be able to fully recover from this? What if she wasn't _really _awake?

I heard footsteps heading towards us and stared at the doctor as he walked out of the room. The expression on his face was unreadable which frustrated me.

"She's definitely awake," he raised his eyebrows, "It's truly a miracle."

I couldn't tell you how much he's said the word miracle lately.

I finally had the opportunity to ask the one question I've been dying to ask, "How much will she remember?"

He shook his head, "It's hard to tell with coma patients. We won't know that for sure until Samantha's able to speak again."

Speak again? What?

"What do you mean?" her dad took the words out of my mouth.

"It's common for people who have been in a coma for a certain period of time to lose certain abilities learned at childhood. Talking, walking, feeding herself, it's going to take time for her to learn how to do it all again."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth I prepared myself for what was to come. I would do whatever I could to help Sammy fully recover, no matter how long that might be.

"WIth how aware she is it might take only a couple of months for her to recover from this. From the beginning I knew she was a fighter. But now she's one in a million."

Her father and I both nodded in unison, "That she is," Dan said.

"The nurses will come in every once and a while to check on her. For now you can go in there though."

"Thank you doctor. I appreciate everything you've done for my daughter," they both shook hands.

I began to walk back into the room while they finished talking to each other. As soon as she saw me she smiled again and I smiled back. I made my way over to the chair that I had been constantly sitting in for the past three weeks and sat down next to her. Once I really got a good look at Sammy, I realized that a bunch of the tubes she was hooked up to before were no longer attached to her which took a huge weight off of me. I grabbed her hand and kissed it softly.

For the time that she had been in a coma I had spoken to her without her being able to say anything back. This was the same thing, only if I spoke to her I would know that she heard me.

"You scared the hell out of me you know," I said.

She didn't say anything. Like the doctor said, she didn't really know how to talk. But I saw her trying to form the words. I saw that she was trying to say sorry or something along those lines. They never said she would be able to do that.

Her father finally came into the room and her eyes set on him now.

I could see that his eyes were glossy with tears. It took him less than a second to make his way across the room and wrap his arms around his daughter, "I love you baby."

I squeezed her hand and sighed in relief again. She was awake and I had her back. I wasn't going to lose my purpose. I was going to keep her forever, no matter what that takes.

Sammy seemed to be able to do more than the doctor gave her credit for. For the rest of the day she tried to talk to all of the people who came and visited her. She even tried to say hi to one of the nurses that came in that day. And when Embry came to visit she rolled her eyes at him. At that point I was no longer afraid about her remembering me. She seemed to know exactly who I was and who every other pack member was. I think I even caught her making a face when Leah came in.

I pulled her father aside while the pack was inside the room visiting, "She's doing better than he said she would."

He smiled, "It's the wolf gene healing her."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "You really think that's what it is? She's doing better in a couple of hours because of the..." I could barely even say it myself, "the wolf gene?"

"She doesn't have to turn into a wolf in order to carry the other traits that come with having the gene."

"So what...you think she's going to heal quicker? Do you think if she didn't posses the gene then she wouldn't be alive?"

He sighed and patted me on the back, "I'm saying that she's alive after the doctor's told me she was brain dead. I don't know for sure it's the gene, I just know that she's alive and doing better than most people would usually be doing after they come out of a coma."

I didn't know if I could completely believe him. If the reason why it seemed as if Sammy was doing so well already was because of the gene then I'd just hope that she could recover from this fully.

**Sammy's POV**

I kept a smile on my face. My head felt like it had been put through a meat grinder. My mouth felt dry and the rest of my body I could barely even move. But I kept a smile on my face even though I didn't know why I felt this way. The whole day I found myself unable to get the words I wanted to say out of my mouth. Paul stayed by my side. While he did, I tried to say his name.

It wouldn't happen.

By the end of the day I had experienced what it felt like to be completely helpless. I had been bathed, fed, talked to, and treated like I was a fragile piece of glass and I didn't know why. If I could ask someone, then I would.

But I'm mute.

The next day the nurse came in and told me that she wanted to see if I could move my limbs at all. Paul sat by my bedside and took my hand. I felt scared.

"Wiggle your toes if you can," she said. I only wiggled five of my toes since the other five were stuck in a cast. I didn't know why I was even wearing a cast.

My eyes were glued to her face to see her reaction. She smiled, "Good," one down, "If you could slowly raise your right leg that would be great." She kept her hands close to my leg.

I tried. It began to feel as if I had never lifted my leg before in my lifetime. It was barely two centimeters off of the bed when I knew I couldn't lift it anymore and I let it drop back down onto the mattress.

"That's a good start," she didn't sound too convincing.

"You're doing great," Paul kissed my cheek.

She moved onto my arms next. That pretty much went the same way it went with my leg. When she got to my fingers though, something was different. I could bend my left fingers more than my right. Actually, I couldn't bend my right fingers at all.

She marked this down on a clipboard before she looked at me again, "How about talking?"

My throat felt better than it did yesterday. I wanted to try, but I was also scared to at the same time.

"What's your name?"

Sammy. I said my name inside of my head. Then I spelled it out inside of my head. I opened my mouth and tried to make the letters make the same sound they made in my head. I sounded out the S, making it sound like a snake hissing, and attempted the rest of it. It took me about twelve times to finally spit out what sounded like my name.

"You're doing really well, Samantha."

I didn't feel the same way.

She left a couple of minutes later. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling frustrated. I wanted to know why I couldn't talk anymore or even move my fingers. What had happened to me?

Paul talked to me for a while. I stared at the ceiling. He talked. I stared. That was what it was like for the next few days. It felt like I was stuck inside a bubble where no one could hear me because I wanted to be heard so badly. I wanted to know why it seemed like Paul's burns from the day before I woke up were suddenly healed. The doctor said it would take two weeks. Its been only a couple of days.

And Sean...what happened to him? Did they catch him?

So many questions to ask and I couldn't talk. It felt like I had woken up in another world.

**So idk...what do you think? i hope the ending made sense to you...I tried making Sammy's thoughts a little more spacey I guess? since she just woke up? idk how well that turned out but yes that's the way it went...**

**next chapter should be coming soon! **

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**Who saw Eclipse? (I didn't yet D: hopefully soon!) **

**love you all :)  
**

**~KK**


	40. 38 I Need You

**hello :) **

**so i finally managed to go see eclipse (after about a week and a half of me getting over some stupid sickness crap :P) and it was AWESOME! best one out of all three movies! **

**TEAM RILEY FTW o.o**

**ok so i promised you an update would be coming soon and here it is :D**

**ENJOY!**

Song for this Chapter- Weight of the World by Framing Hanley (LOVE THEM!)

Chapter 38

I Need You

**Sammy's POV**

It had taken me two whole weeks to learn how to speak again. Two weeks without being able to ask exactly why I wasn't able to talk. Two weeks without being able to understand why my head hurt so badly all the time or why my leg was stuck in a cast.

Well today I was going to figure this all out. I had practiced what I was going to say to Paul ever since the first day I woke up. It still took me a little while to make the words sound right, but I could say them. I wasn't going to wait any longer to know what was going on.

My eyes latched onto Paul the second he walked in the doorway. He stared at me with a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Hi," he said.

I opened my mouth to speak since I was finally able to actually respond to something he said to me, "Hi," my voice was still a little weak.

He started to walk towards my bed, studying my face carefully. I'm sure my confused expression said it all. I kept my eyes on him as he sat down next to me, letting out a big breath of air. If I didn't know any better, then I would say he looked worried. That wasn't a good sign.

I cleared my throat, hoping that I'd speak clearly, "How…," I paused, sounding out the words I wanted to say in my head, "How did I….get here?" I asked.

He closed his eyes for a short second, staring at my hand instead of looking at my face, "You don't remember?" I shook my head, unable to look away from him.

He grabbed my hand and rubbed the top of it with his thumb. I waited for him to say something, but he looked hesitant to spit the words out. That's another bad sign.

"There was an accident," he shut his mouth, seeming as if he didn't trust himself to say anymore, "You hit your head really bad and…"

He stopped talking after that. For a couple of minutes he was completely silent, "And?" I said, trying to get him to say more. He didn't seem to want to budge, "Please Paul, I-I need to…know."

He finally looked at my face and into my eyes, "You fell into a coma," I could barely hear everything he said, but the word coma sounded as if he shouted it at me.

That explained the headaches.

I tried to keep myself calm enough for now so I could get more answers, "For h-how long?"

Again he was hesitant. I could see how afraid he was to say more, but this had to happen. I had to know what happened to me. I tried with all my strength to squeeze his hand in reassure, but I wasn't at the point yet where I could fully bend my fingers so it didn't exactly work.

He sighed, "About three weeks."

That was what just about broke me. For three weeks I had been in a coma because of a head injury from an 'accident.' I wanted details, but Paul didn't look like he was ready to give me them. Maybe that was for the better though. Maybe I really shouldn't want details.

I shuddered.

"You don't remember what happened at all?"

My vision became blurry, "No," I whispered.

His jaw clenched, "What's the last thing you do remember?"

Now I was definitely afraid. But despite my fears I concentrated on my memory so I could tell him and rip off the band aid already. I went back to the last thing that happened before I woke up here. Once I knew what that was I spoke.

"Falling asleep next to you...in Jacob's house…after you got b-burned."

I watched as his face fell and his shoulders slumped. A single tear trickled down my cheek as I realized what this meant. There was a period of time that I had completely forgotten.

"How long was that before the," I sounded out the word, "accident?"

His eyes were concentrating on my left hand that he was still holding. He didn't say anything as he slipped something off of my finger and kept it in the safety of his fist. I didn't care about trying to figure out what it was. All I really cared about was how much I had forgotten.

"Two and a half weeks," he said.

I felt sobs making their way up my throat. I bit my lip in an attempt to keep them inside of me. Now I knew and now I wish that this never happened. At this point, details were the last thing on my mind. I could only think that I was forgetting about two and a half weeks of my life. It seemed like it was too much to bear.

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

I could've sworn that I saw him crying, but I could've been wrong. The tears were making it hard to see much of anything, "It's not your fault."

He kissed the top of my hand, "You're going to get better though."

I didn't know if I could really believe him. If I could barely even move my hands enough to feed myself or my legs enough to walk, then I couldn't get better.

I had asked Paul to leave after that. I just wanted to be alone to absorb all of this. And I really didn't want him to see the waterworks that were making their unwanted appearance. For the rest of the day I laid in bed crying to myself. My dad had come in and tried to comfort me, but it didn't help. He gave up after about an hour and left me alone.

The nurse came in and fed me dinner and that was really the only time I tried to seem like I was ok. The rest of the time I stayed in bed trying to remember something about the accident. Every time I felt my head begin to hurt I would be reminded that if it wasn't for Paul telling me what happened, then I still wouldn't know.

It was when the doctor came into the room that I got extremely worried. He had spoken to me about how I had nerve damage in my right hand. Next thing I knew I was being told that I might not ever be able to draw again. That had broken me to the point where I felt like I couldn't be fixed. I told the doctor to let everyone know that I still wanted to be alone because I knew he was bound to tell them about the nerve damage now.

The next day pretty much went the same as the one before but ten times worse because of what the doctor told me. I tried to not think about that, though, all I did was try to remember. No one bothered me except for the annoying nurses that reminded me of how helpless I was. I felt like screaming at them by the end of the day.

It was the third day after I had figured out why I was here that Jacob had come into the room. He didn't say anything; he just walked right to the chair next to my bed and sat there watching me. The doctor told me that I was supposed to be trying to bend my fingers and make a fist with my left hand. The right, he said, I shouldn't try to do anything with for right now. So while he sat, I was there looking like an idiot trying to do that.

"How are you feeling?" he asked out of the blue.

I didn't answer; I just concentrated on trying to bend my damn fingers.

"Come on, Sammy, talk to me," he pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, my voice sounding dead.

I bit my lip in frustration when it started to feel like my fingers were no longer listening to what my brain was telling them.

"That's not true."

I stopped what I was doing and finally paid attention to him, "Alright fine," I turned my gaze onto him, "Tell me what happened during the accident."

He pursed his lips, "I can't."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Yes you can, I want to know."

He shook his head, "Well I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?" I shouted in anger, "Don't I deserve to know how I ended up like this? How I ended up unable to even hold a fork in my hand?"

He kept his eyes on the wall, "It's too soon, Sammy."

"The hell it is," I glared at the ceiling, tears beginning to prick my eyes, "You don't know what it's like to wake up not knowing what happened to you. Let alone what it's like to figure out that you can no longer pursue your dream," I wiped my cheeks dry with the back of my wrist, "Just tell me so I can know how it came to be this way, Jacob."

He sighed, "I can't be the one to tell you, Sammy."

I closed my eyes and sobbed softly to myself. Why couldn't anyone just be on my side?

"I'm sor-,"

"Just go," I demanded.

I heard him stand up from the seat, but I didn't hear him walk away and I wished so badly that he would just leave me alone. I didn't want them to have to go through this pain with me.

"You can kick me out, but don't do it to Paul. He thought that he almost lost you, Sammy. And if anyone can help get you through this it's him. So don't push him away."

"I'm not," I breathed, "I just don't want him to have to see me like this."

"But you want him here with you, don't you? You want him helping you get through this?"

I turned my face towards him, finding it hard to admit the truth, "Yes."

He shrugged, "Then let him."

I thought about how right he was. If there was anyone that could make me feel better, it was Paul. If anyone in the world could make me stop feeling so miserable it was him. So why was I trying to keep him away?

"Thank you," I said.

Jacob grinned, "Just trying to help," he began to walk towards the door, "I'll go get him for you."

It took about five minutes for Paul's tall frame to appear in that doorway. The whole time I was waiting I stared it down, anticipating when he would finally be here. And now he was and it felt like everything that was bothering me was fading away.

We both kept staring at each other.

I took one deep breath before I spoke, "I need you," I said simply.

He didn't respond.

I watched him as he moved closer to the bed until he was finally standing right next to it. I scooted over and turned on my side as he laid down beside me on the bed, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close to him. I rested my head on his chest and breathed in his woodsy scent.

"I'm sorry, Paul," I whispered.

"Don't be," he said.

When the room went quiet I began to think about what the doctor told me and I felt myself starting to cry all over again. Paul just let me stain his shirt with salt water.

"I promise you that things are going to be ok. I won't let anything like this ever happen again."

That was all I needed to hear to feel like I could do this, "I love you."

He kissed the top of my head, "I love you too."

The weeks that followed were difficult. I had spent most of my time learning how to feed myself all over again and trying to figure out how to write with my left hand since my right wasn't cooperating. When I finally got the cast off of my leg I began physical therapy. And after a month of the hard work I could finally grip a fork or spoon without dropping it. I did all of this with Paul by my side.

The pack was in and out of the hospital constantly visiting me. Kim, Emily, and Dana would come to keep me company sometimes when they were out patrolling. And for the most part, Sam tried to keep Paul out of the patrolling so he could stay with me which I was extremely thankful for.

My dad was now planning on moving back to La Push in a small house near the beach. I couldn't tell you how happy I was when I figured that out.

The next month I started to build my strength up so I could begin to walk. They'd have me do some simple exercises in physical therapy that were supposed to help with that. At first it was difficult since every time I tried to stand up my legs would feel like jelly and just give out on me. The part where I had to begin to walk was the worst though. But I'm getting better at it now.

I finished up my lunch so I could get started. The sooner I could walk the sooner I could get out of here. I threw the spoon down onto the tray as soon as I was finished with my pudding and threw the blankets off of me.

"Done," I declared, "Now I can walk."

I placed my feet onto the ground –well foot since there was a boot occupying my other one- and began to stand up.

"Woah, hold on," Paul was holding my arm so I wouldn't fall over.

"Come on Paul, I have to do this on my own."

"I just don't want you to fall," he said.

"You're standing right next to me, the least you can do is let go of my arm."

He grunted, "Fine."

Paul has always been overprotective of me, but ever since I woke up from the coma it seems to be intensified. If only someone would tell me what really happened during the accident, then maybe I'd know why he's being this way.

I straightened myself up and made sure I didn't feel like I was going to topple over.

"Are you ok?" he asked frantically.

"I'm fine," I rolled my eyes, "Go by the door."

"What?" his eyes grew wide.

"I said go by the door," He shook his head in denial, "I can't walk with you holding onto me all the time."

"But the doctor didn't say to-,"

"Screw the doctor."

He ran his hand through his hair, "You're going to kill me one of these days," finally, he listened to me.

I smiled to myself, "Are you ready?"

He nodded, "Only if you are."

I took a couple deep breaths before I took my first step forward. Ok, that one was good. I took one more step, feeling a little shaky, but not too unstable.

Another step.

Then another.

I was only a quarter away from the door when my legs couldn't take anymore. Paul scooped me up into his arms as soon as he saw me begin to wobble.

"Better than last time," I pointed out, not fully satisfied with how that turned out.

"A lot better than last time," he placed a kiss on my forehead, "I'm proud of you."

He set me back down onto the bed. Before I knew it a herd of tall, muscular shape shifters piled into the room.

"We brought balloons!" Embry shouted.

I laughed as they all walked into the room with huge balloons in their hands.

"Why'd you guys bring me balloons now out of all times?"

"Because you're doing better," Quil answered.

"Damn she ate all the chocolate pudding!" Seth whined.

Paul glared at Seth while I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. In two months I haven't felt as good as I do now. I'm finally getting better. And even though I still have a lot more to deal with, I know I can get through it because I have all of these people around me that care about me. And I can't be more thankful to have them in my life.

**hope you all thought it was good :) i know it was shorter than my other chapters...next chapter will be longer i promise **

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**~KK**


	41. 39 Those Three Words

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**other than that i hope everyone is enjoying summer! and i hope you enjoy this chapter as well! :)**

Song for this Chapter- Roslyn by Bon Iver and St. Vincent

Chapter 39

Those Three Words

It's been two and a half months since I've woken up from the coma I was in. As soon as the doctor gave me the exact date that I was going to be released from the hospital I've been counting down the days. And it finally came time for me to get out of this boring place. No more having to be looked after like I was a little kid, no more having to be fed food or walked to the bathroom, and no more being asked the question, "How are you feeling?" every two seconds.

The moment that I had set foot out of the hospital in my favorite converse I took a deep breath of the clean air. Instead of smelling medicine or disgusting chicken that was practically plastic, I smelled home. I smelled everything that made me, me. And I felt like I regaining my life.

When I got home there was no party there to greet me, which I was thankful for. There was just Paul and our house. That was all I really wanted and needed to feel like I was officially better. Take away the huge scar that ran across my scalp, my messed up hand, and the limping and you would think that I hadn't constantly been stuck in a hospital bed for the past two and a half months.

It took me a while to feel settled at home. It would've taken me a lot longer if I didn't have Paul to help me master walking up and down the stairs. Now if I could just get my hand to stop shaking whenever I picked up a pencil, then everything would be perfect now. But I can't even draw a straight line anymore, so we're not exactly there yet.

A week after I was released from the hospital Paul and I visited my dad in his new house. It was small but cozy. My father seemed happier than ever to be back in La Push and I was ecstatic that he was actually going to stay here closer to me. I don't know what I'd do if he stayed in New York. I think I'd force him to move back here even if I wasn't in an accident.

But it seems like whenever I think about New York now; I'm reminded about how I'm missing school all because I was in a coma. It was the middle of October, middle of the semester. So going back now didn't seem like an option. I would have to wait and see if my hand would get better to decide if I could even go back to what I was doing before. My plans might have to change now because of this nerve damage.

The worst part about it is that I don't even know how it happened. I went from having my dreams come true to my dreams being shattered.

I shook away the thoughts as we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house, blinking myself back into reality.

Today was Emily's baby shower. This is actually the first time I'll be seeing the pack since I got out of the hospital. I've missed them all since then, especially one person in particular who goes by the name of Jacob Black. He's been distant. I don't even remember when the last time I saw him was. He's only come by a couple of times to visit me in the hospital and even then he acted different. After he gave me the pep talk about how I shouldn't shut out Paul he never came back. When I tried talking to him the other times he came by I could see nothing but guilt written all over his face, and I didn't understand why.

"Sammy," Paul waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I replied stupidly.

He chuckled, "Someone's got their head in the clouds today."

I rolled my eyes and unbuckled my seatbelt, "I'm fine," I stepped out of the car and shut the door behind me, "Got the gift?"

He held up the box that I had wrapped this morning in baby blue wrapping paper. I guess you could say I was pretty confident that it was going to be a boy.

Paul intertwined his hand in mine as we walked around to the back of the house, a cool fall breeze whipping past us as we walked. Usually you would have a party inside when it's cold outside, but when you have a whole bunch of human space heaters around you kind of don't notice it so having a party outside was still an option. Plus, most of us were used to the cold already so it didn't really affect us.

I felt a smile tug at my lips as all of the guys came into view. I noticed that most of the Quileute Elders were there including Paul's mom and my dad and of course Kim was there with a bridal magazine sitting in her lap. As soon as all of the guys saw us they stood up from their seats around the bonfire that was lit and greeted us both. It was the greeting that Kim gave me that nearly had me gasping for air. She was hugging me so tight that I thought I was going to suffocate.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I grabbed her arms and forced her to detach herself from me, smiling, "I'm feeling good. My hand's still shaking like a leaf, but other than that I'm good."

Kim grinned, "I'm glad you're better, Sammy."

"Yeah, me too."

Without leaving me anytime to say anything else, she grabbed my arm and began to tug me in the direction of where everyone was sitting. I glanced over my shoulder at Paul who was making conversation with Jared and then followed quickly after Kim.

We both sat down at the picnic table that was set up there and began talking about flowers and centerpiece ideas for the wedding. It didn't take long for Paul's mom to find me and then for other people to begin asking me how I was doing or if I was feeling better now. And then for the first time I met Claire, the little girl that Quil imprinted on. He constantly talks about her and I was glad to finally see her in the flesh, pig tails and all. I got even more distracted when I finally found Sam and Emily and began talking to them. I swear Emily looked like she was about to burst at any given moment. The last time I saw her belly was so much smaller than it is now. But I guess when you're in the hospital for two months you kind of miss those kinds of things.

As time went by the air grew colder and more people sat around the fire until practically all of us were sitting around it. That's when I finally noticed that two people were missing.

"Where's Embry and Dana?" I asked Paul, nestling myself in the crook of his arm that was resting on my shoulders.

Paul sighed and looked at me, "Embry's telling her about the pack."

"She was getting suspicious wasn't she?"

He started to rub circles on my back, "Not really, Embry has been planning on telling her for a while now."

I nodded, "How long have they been gone for?"

"Only about ten minutes."

I guess that wasn't bad. If he came back after five minutes I would say that she ran off. Fifteen minutes, she started screaming and freaking out. Twenty, she fainted.

My eyes wandered around the fire, looking at everyone's faces and waiting until they finally set on Jacob. I hadn't noticed until now that he was sitting directly across from me doing nothing but staring at the jumping flames.

I studied him for a while until he finally looked up to me and noticed what I was doing. He began to fidget uncomfortably as his eyes traveled away from my face and focused on something else.

I sighed in frustration. What was his problem? What could possibly have made him not want to even look at me anymore? Ugh, I couldn't figure it out anymore. I don't need to deal with the stress of that right now.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dana start to slowly make her way into the backyard without Embry. She stared at the ground as she walked, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth hanging open. When she finally noticed all of us sitting there she slowed down her pace and her eyes narrowed. I immediately knew what was going through her head.

"I'll be right back," I said to Paul before I walked over to where she was standing, looking at each of the guys as if they were aliens or something.

Dana didn't bother to look at me, "Are you ok?" I asked her.

She glanced at me for a second but quickly looked away, "They all turn into furry dogs," she said incredulously.

"Wolves is a nicer way to put it," I saw her flinch and I began to wonder what exactly went on, "What did he say?"

She shook her head, "He just told me all of the legends and…and how he imprinted on me. And he said that it didn't change anything."

"And what did you say?"

She hesitated, peering up at me before answering, "I just said ok and then I walked away."

A pair of footsteps caught my attention and I looked over Dana's shoulder, watching Embry walk with his head hung low, looking at Dana for only a second before passing the both of us.

She stared at his back as he sat down next to Quil, "How did you handle it when Paul told you?"

I laughed, "I ran away. It was really stupid."

She barely managed to smile, "I wish it would all just disappear and things would go back to normal."

I nodded, understanding what she meant, "That's what you think at first, but when you finally get over it, it'll be as if you've known all along. Then it will be normal to you."

Dana didn't once take her eyes off of Embry. We stood there in silence for a while, I figured that she needed a minute to think through how this wasn't really a big deal.

I saw her eyes brighten as if a light bulb was turning on inside her head, "I love him," she paused for a moment, " It doesn't matter what he is, all that matters is that I love him," she admitted.

"Don't tell me that, tell him that," I nudged her with my arm.

Dana grinned, "I think I'll do that right now," she gave me a quick hug, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. Just get your ass over to Embry now before he starts to think depressing thoughts."

She chuckled before she walked over to the bonfire. I watched as she tapped Embry on the shoulder and the two of them walked off to a more private area to talk. A smile spread across my face as I thought about having another girl in the loop. Now we didn't have to speak in code all the time. Unless another one of them imprinted. Then I think I'm going to start getting really annoyed.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I hadn't even noticed that Kim was standing in front of me until she said that.

I shrugged, "I think I can spare a minute."

She laughed softly before we began walking away farther away from the group and closer to the tree line, "So, I was just wondering…," she didn't finish her sentence which had me a little worried.

"Yeah?" I tried to get her to go on.

I heard her mutter something to herself before she stopped walking and turned towards me, "Will you be my maid of honor?"

My mouth hung open in shock, "Wait, me? You want me to be your maid of honor?"

"I think that's what I said," she smirked.

I shook my head in disbelief, "You don't even have to ask, Kim. Of course I'll be your maid of honor!" I almost started to jump around like an idiot but managed to restrain myself, "I can't believe you're asking me."

"Well believe it," she pulled me into a hug. It seemed like I was hugging a lot of people today, "I'm just really happy you're ok. Now we can actually go on with this wedding."

I felt the giddiness I was feeling two seconds ago begin to fade away, "What do you mean?" I pulled away from her and stared at her face seriously now.

She bit her lip as if she wasn't supposed to say that, "Paul's going to be Jared's best man, so you two can walk together-,"

"Kim," I cut in, "What do you mean we can actually go on with this wedding? Did you think it wasn't going to happen or something? Were you having second thoughts?"

She sighed, "No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

She looked at everything except for me, "Well when you were in the hospital we didn't know if you would get better. So, I postponed the wedding until you did."

I furrowed my eyebrows taking in what she was saying, "You stopped planning everything because of me?"

She still wouldn't look at me, "I couldn't do it knowing that you weren't ok."

"But I am ok, Kim," terrible wasn't even a good enough word to describe how I felt, "So what happens now? When is the wedding going to be?"

"We're having it later in July instead of June."

"And what about the venue and the church?"

Kim hesitated, "We're having the wedding at the beach instead of doing the whole chapel and ballroom thing. I'd rather have it at the beach anyways."

I still wasn't convinced. I still felt like I had ruined their wedding, "What about the weather? What if it rains?"

"The date we want is going to be one of the clearest days we've ever had here. Jacob has psychic connections."

I felt extremely frustrated with myself for letting it come to this. Kim and Jared had already made so many plans for a specific date in June and now that all had to be redone because of me, "I always have to ruin everything," I muttered to myself.

"You didn't ruin anything, Sammy. It's better this way. I mean now we know you're ok and that's what really matters to us. If we have to move the date and make some changes, then that's fine just as long as I get to have you as my maid of honor."

She was trying to get me to smile and it almost worked, but I still couldn't believe that they actually stopped everything just because I was in the hospital. I wish I could've woken up soon enough to reassure them that they could keep making plans and that I would be ok.

"I feel so guilty," I blurted out.

She rolled her eyes and groaned, "Don't feel guilty, Sammy. I really don't know what else to do to make you believe me."

"I guess you could just magically make me forget that you ever told me that in place of some of the other things I've forgotten."

She didn't seem to find that part funny and neither did I since I was actually being serious about that. I saw Kim's eyes wander down towards our feet when she seemed to find something else more interesting.

"He took the ring off?" she whispered.

I followed down to where she was staring and found myself looking at my hand, "What-,"

"Time to eat!" Paul shouted from behind me.

I ignored him as I looked back at Kim who looked like she wanted to slap herself.

"Did you guys hear me?"

"Uh, yeah," Kim replied nervously, "I should probably get in line before the guys eat everything."

I furrowed my eyebrows and opened my mouth to say something but was suddenly interrupted by the warm arms that grabbed me from behind and spun me around. I was too confused to even laugh at that. What ring was she talking about? I was never wearing a ring…

At least I don't think I was wearing a ring.

"Aren't you hungry?" Paul kissed my neck with his soft lips.

I put everything to the back of my mind for the time being and focused on what was happening right here and now, "Yeah," I turned towards him and kissed him on the lips now, "Let's go eat."

It didn't take long for my mind to drift back to what Kim had said. I tried to make sense of what she meant, but never came up successful with figuring it all out. Or maybe I just didn't want to make myself believe what I knew she could've meant. Maybe I didn't want to believe that I could've possibly forgotten Paul popping the question.

When it came time for Emily to open her presents everyone seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves while I was just pretending to act as if I was just as happy as them. I tried to put myself completely in the moment when Emily was opening the present that Paul and I had given her.

She laughed when she saw the bib that said 'chick magnet' on it, "This is perfect, I'm sure if the baby's a boy he'll be wearing this all the time."

Ugh, stop thinking about it, "The baby is a boy, Emily," I glanced over at Kim who childishly stuck her tongue out at me. At least I didn't forget about the bet we made with each other.

Emily opened the rest of the baby clothes that we had given her and then she went on to Embry's gift which was a stuffed wolf that had grey fur with black spots just like Embry when he was in his wolf form. I rolled my eyes at him, realizing how very Embry it was of him to do that.

After the gifts were all opened and everyone began to leave I started thinking about it again. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Paul as we began to say goodbye to everyone. To think that he possibly proposed to me was just too much for me. First I forget how I ended up in the hospital and now I could've possibly forgotten the love of my life proposing to me.

I waited until we were about half way home to bring it up to him. Not only was I wondering if he proposed, I was also wondering if he heard me and Kim talking about it. I mean it was just perfect timing when he came and interrupted us. But why wouldn't he want me to know?

"Did you hear what Kim and I were talking about earlier?" I questioned.

I looked over at him and he clenched his jaw, "Yeah," he mumbled.

I gnawed on the inside of my lip, "Was it an engagement ring, Paul?" my voice was quiet, but I knew he heard me. The silence that filled the air for the next couple of minutes had me wanting to ask him more, "Did you propose to me?"

He let out a deep breath and stopped the car. I looked out the window and realized that we were sitting out in front of the house. Neither of us moved to get out of the car, though.

"I did," his voice sounded deeper than it usually did.

I found myself unable to stop myself from saying what I wanted to say next, "Then why did you take the ring off?" I gazed at his face and waited until he found enough courage in him to do the same to me, "Did you regret asking me to marry you?"

He shook his head back and forth and answered me, "No, it's not like that, Sammy."

"Then just tell me why, Paul."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I felt him lace my fingers through his and finally he looked me in the eye, "I knew that the time wasn't right when I asked you," he paused for a second, "There was something that kept telling me to wait. And now I wish I would've listened."

Tears began to blur my vision, "You didn't think we were ready for that?"

"No, I knew that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life it's just…" his voice trailed off into nothing.

"It's just what?"

He let go of my hand and placed his palm on my cheek instead, "It wasn't special and I wanted it to be. I didn't do it right. I should've done something more…romantic."

I chuckled, causing a tear to trickle down the side of my face, "I'm sure whatever you did was perfect, Paul," I said as he wiped away the salt water with his thumb, "I should remember something like this, though, because it's something that you're supposed to tell your family about when you get older and I just…can't remember."

"That doesn't matter, Sammy. You don't have to remember."

I couldn't find it in myself to believe him. Less than a second later he was out of the jeep and opening the door for me. I stepped out and leaned up against the door once it was closed.

Paul stood in front of me, "Look at me," I did as I was told, "I'm going to propose to you again when the time is right," he put his hands on my hips and reeled me in closer to him, "And it's going to be something you'll remember for the rest of your life."

I felt everything that was bothering me about forgetting his proposal just disappear then. He moved his face closer to me and pressed his lips to mine. It was a kiss filled with adoration and love and had me feeling weak at the knees. I had to wrap my arms around his neck just so I wouldn't fall over. Once he pulled away he placed a bunch of kisses on my jaw and kept going until his lips stopped on the spot on my neck where my pulse was racing.

"You're the only one for me, Sammy," his hot breath sent shivers down my spine; "I love you."

Those three words had me wanting the right time to come sooner rather than later. All I want it for him to be mine forever.

**I'm getting really sad that this story is almost finished :( unfortunately there's only about 4 chapters left (holds in the tears) **

**BUT WAIT! :O :O :O**

**What if there was the possibility of a sequel to Best Friends No More? -insert extremely shocked face here- **

**Ok so i have been talking to one of my very awshum readers lately who goes by the name of emokittyrox13 and she has convinced me that there is still more to Paul and Sammy's story that needs to be told! **

**SOOOOOOO i took some time to think of some ideas for a possible sequel after i talked to her and i began throwing ideas around and i think i have something :) the ideas are still developing at the moment but there is a huge possibility that a sequel to BFNM (abbreviations are nice) is coming your way... YOU CAN THANK EMOKITTYROX13 FOR THAT! AND THANK YOURSELVES AS WELL SINCE THE ONLY REASON WHY I KEEP WRITING IS BECAUSE OF YOU! **

**i hope that you will keep reading and reviewing from here on out and will keep VOTING (if you haven't yet) for the Bring Me to Life Awards **

**REMEMBER! Voting closes on Saturday! :)**

**wow i hope you guys didn't get a headache from the caps...i go a little overboard sometimes **

**REVIEW!**

**~KK**


	42. 40 Mush

**ello everyone! :) here is another update for you. I want to thank everyone for their reviews that they gave me for the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the others. **

Song for this Chapter- I Wouldn't Mind by He is We (i am in love with this song)

Chapter 40

Mush

I woke up in the morning feeling an urge that I knew all too well. An urge that I wish I wouldn't feel anymore. I sighed as I walked down the stairs and into the living room, planting myself on the couch and staring at the empty coffee table in front of me. I thought that maybe if I came down here my sketch book would be waiting for me, but no it's still missing. Maybe I threw it away before the accident or something. I chuckled to myself, well I wouldn't remember if I did that now would I? Of course not…

The longer I sat there for the more unbearable the urge to draw something became. My hand was still shaky so I doubt even if I did start to draw that I would draw something halfway decent. But maybe if I just paint then the feeling will subside and I'll be ok.

Painting could help.

I looked at the closet over my shoulder that I, ironically, remember leaving my painting tools in. Quietly, I rose from the couch and took everything out that I would need including paints, brushes, an easel, and a blank canvas. Another thing that I surprisingly remember is that I went to the store and picked up all of these supplies, thinking that I would need them to create another masterpiece. Ha, that really wasn't possible anymore.

I stared at the white canvas in front of me and dipped my brush in the blue paint, trying to keep my hand as steady as possible. When the brush touched the canvas I let my hand do all the work since it now had a mind of its own. The only thing that really came out of it was a bunch of random lines –that weren't straight at all- and some weird shapes. I would stop every few seconds and just stare at the pathetic piece of art, thinking about how much better I could do if my hand wasn't messed up.

After a few more attempts at trying to make the painting look anywhere near good I gave up. When I could no longer look at the piece of crap in front of me I walked out of the room and threw my paint brushes into the sink, feeling my eyes begin to feel damp.

From behind me I could hear Paul's footsteps coming down the stairs and stopping once he must've noticed the painting, if you could even call it that. I kept my eyes down as I turned around and wiped away the few tears that were on my face.

"This looks good," he had to be lying, "What are you going to call it?"

"Nerve damage," I mumbled but I knew he would hear me. I glanced at him for a moment, watching as his smile turned into a hard line. He looked at me, his face telling me that he regretted asking me that question. I walked back into the living room and took a look at the painting on the easel with Paul beside me.

"I know I can do better than this," I sighed, "Well I guess I can say before I could do better than this. This is about as good as it's going to get now."

Paul wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side, my eyes never leaving the 'masterpiece' in front of me.

"You're still the most talented person I know," he kissed my cheek.

For some reason, I felt frustrated when he said that. The last time he said this to me I believed what he was saying, but now I just couldn't feel the same way. I know why this all happened though, I know that I was in some sort of accident. What I wanted to know now was what kind of accident was it?

Now I wanted details.

"What really happened to me, Paul?"

His arm tightened around my waist and I heard a low grumbling noise come from deep inside his chest. I let my gaze falter while waiting for his answer.

He had to know that it would come to this. I mean after everything else I've asked him about what I've forgotten he had to know that I would eventually be asking him this kind of question. So, why did it suddenly seem like he didn't know what to say? Why was he hesitating?

I grabbed his hand that was on my hip and pulled him over to the couch, forcing him to sit down beside me. He made sure not to look at my face as I stared him down, anticipating his answer. I had to convince him that I wasn't scared to know.

"I don't care about how bad it was. I just need you to tell me, so I can move on and get over this."

He nodded, and for the first time it felt as if he wanted me to know just as much as I did. He squeezed my hand and pulled me into his lap, burying his face in my hair.

"I'll tell you, but you have to know that this is hard for me to say."

I leaned my head back on his chest and closed my eyes, "I understand," I swallowed the lump that was lingering in the back of my throat.

"What happened that day-,"

And of course, at that exact moment, his phone began to ring in his pocket. I grunted and reluctantly got off of his lap, scooting over to the end of the couch that was farthest from him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to me as he took out his phone and quickly flipped it open, "What the hell could you possibly want now, Sam?" he growled.

Sam, I should've known he would call right when Paul was about to tell me everything I needed to know.

"What?" his eyes seemed to widen, "Yeah, we'll be right there."

I pursed my lips and stared at him as he pulled the phone away from his ear, "What's going on?"

He stood up from the couch and turned around towards me with a smile on his face. Talk about mood swings, "Emily's in labor."

Now it was my turn to look stunned, "I guess we should go then," believe me I was excited that Emily was finally having the baby. But couldn't the baby wait about ten more minutes to come out? Ugh, no because things never worked in my favor.

Our conversation was forgotten as soon as we both were finished getting ready and were out the door. I didn't bother asking him about it on the way there, knowing that he would say that he couldn't say it now, that he had to tell me later when all of this was over with. I knew him too well to think any differently.

When we arrived at the hospital, most of the pack was already sitting in the waiting room. Paul and I took a seat next to Jared and Kim.

"How long has she been in there for?" I asked Kim.

She shrugged, "A couple of hours. We just got here a little while ago, though."

I nodded, my thoughts still concentrating on squeezing the truth out of Paul. It was disappointing that he wasn't able to tell me this morning, because I knew that he would rather wait forever before he actually spits it out. He probably thinks that it will hurt me to know, but who wants to live in the dark forever?

Not me.

I felt Paul's warm arm wrap around my shoulders as his lips pressed against the skin right beneath my ear, "I promise I will tell you everything you want to know later, Sammy."

I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled, "Thank you."

He kissed the top of my head, "Anything for you."

His voice indicated that he wasn't exactly excited about it, which was understandable because really who can be excited about something like that?

It seemed like we were stuck in that small room forever. Being stuck in a room full of humans would've been bearable, but being stuck in a room with a bunch of annoying werewolves –Seth, Collin, and Brady being at the top of the list- who didn't know how to shut up and stand still was pretty much hell. And to make matters worse, one of them was being an asshole.

He goes by the name of Jacob Black.

I would look at him and he would sometimes look at me and as soon as he did he would get up from his seat and move farther away from me until he was finally at the other end of the waiting room. I'm pretty sure that moving that far away from me was completely dumb and unnecessary.

"What is Jacob's problem?" I asked myself.

Paul must've heard me, because his eyes began to flicker between me and Jacob, "He feels guilty."

"Guilty? About what?"

Paul brought my hand up to his face and kissed it, "I'm going to leave that up to him to explain."

Ugh, "Just tell me. It doesn't really seem like he's going to say a word to me anytime soon."

"He'll turn around."

I scoffed, "Right, when hell freezes over."

Paul chuckled and suddenly the doors to the waiting room opened and Sam walked in. I almost didn't recognize him because of how happy he looked. Usually, he would look intimidating and unfriendly to me but now all of the intimidation and unfriendliness was gone and replaced by a warm smile.

"So, is it a girl or a boy?" I heard Embry ask from across the room.

Sam's smile grew wider, if that was even possible, "Why don't you come and see for yourself?"

We had to wait a little while to be able to go and see the new bundle of joy since there was so many of us. When it was finally me and Paul's turn I was literally skipping down the hall. Paul knocked on the door when we reached the room.

"Can we come in?"

The two of them looked up, Emily with the baby wrapped in a blanket in her arms and Sam sitting beside her. They both nodded at us and we slowly made our way over to the bed. I stared down at the small newborn that was sleeping in Emily's arms, looking completely content.

"It's a boy," Emily said, "So, I guess you win the bet."

I rolled my eyes. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about that, "Kim can keep her twenty bucks," I stroked the baby's arm with my finger, "What's his name?" I asked her.

"Cameron James Uley," she pronounced proudly.

I smiled, already liking her choice of names.

"He looks just like you, Sam," I could feel Paul's breath on the back of my neck as he spoke.

"He's got Emily's eyes, though," Sam said.

I laced my fingers through Paul's and leaned up against him. I could only hope that one day we would be in Sam and Emily's position with our own child. I've never really thought much about our future together, but now, seeing the two of them looking so happy, all I could think about was what our children would look like and how many we would have.

"Do you want to hold him, Sammy?" Emily smiled.

I shook my head, "No, my hand is just really shaky…I'll probably drop him if I hold him."

She chuckled, "You won't drop him, I trust you."

"Yeah, but I don't trust myself," I couldn't risk it.

"I'll stand next to you if it makes you feel any better," Paul added.

I looked up at him, feeling slightly uneasy, "Ok, just stay close," I sat down in the chair that was next to the bed and mentally prepared myself as Sam took the baby out of Emily's arms and brought him over to me.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked.

I nodded and let out a deep breath as he placed the baby in my arms. I copied what Emily was doing earlier and slightly held up my elbow to make sure his neck was supported. Paul kept his hands near both of my arms to be sure that I didn't drop him, but he soon let his hands fall to his sides after a couple of minutes. I felt my muscles relax the more comfortable I became with this.

But it seemed that the minute I felt comfortable, Cameron began to squirm in my arms and I tensed up again. He yawned and opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling for a minute before he found my face. I smiled down at him.

"He likes you," Emily commented.

I glanced at her for a moment, "You think so?"

"Well he hasn't opened his eyes for anyone else."

I touched Cameron's palm with my finger and his hand immediately closed around it, "He's got a tight grip on him," I said, looking up at Paul to see how he was reacting to all of this.

When we made eye contact with each other I felt that he and I were thinking the same thing. We were both thinking that this was what was in store for us, a future as husband and wife, a future with a family. And we both wanted that to be our future.

"I think his nickname's going to be CJ," I looked away from Paul and back down at the baby. All three of them laughed, "What? It's short and sweet and easy to spell."

"You can call him whatever you want as long as it's not Cam Jam," Emily replied.

I rolled my eyes, "Let me guess, Embry came up with that?"

I looked at Sam who looked annoyed which told me that it was in fact, Embry Call who came up with that nickname. What else is new?

* * *

It was around eight when we finally left the hospital. After spending time with little baby CJ I couldn't stop thinking about whether or not I would be a good mother. I know we would wait a while before we had kids, but still, would I be prepared to become a parent? Everyone says that nothing can prepare you for parenthood and I always believed that. To be sure it was true I guess I'd have to wait and see for myself…

When we got home Paul agreed that he would make dinner for the both of us while I rested. I let him cook, but stayed downstairs and watched instead of resting. While we were eating I kept thinking about Paul popping the question. I wished that God would let me remember his proposal so that I could be his and he could me mine permanently already. I just didn't feel like waiting for the right time because I felt that the right time was now. I mean, what if he wants to wait a couple of years before he does it? Will I just have to do it to him instead?

No, that was stupid and untraditional.

I pushed my empty plate away from me and stared at the table while I waited for him to finish his third helping of lasagna.

"What's on your mind?" he asked me.

I didn't want to get into this again, so I told him something different, "I'm just thinking about the accident," now my mind was drifting back to that.

He sighed and nodded, "I'll clean the dishes and once I'm finished I'll tell you."

He picked up both of our plates and placed them in the sink. I kept my eyes on him as he slowly began to wash the dishes. I could see from here that he looked like he was fighting inner battles with himself. That was the only way I could describe it. One minute he would be muttering things to himself and the next he was shaking his head and growling. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be ok, but then I didn't really know why I wanted to say this since I didn't know what the problem was.

I stood up from my seat and walked over to him, his back facing me. As I got closer I could see that he was shaking and even though I didn't know why, I wanted to make him stop. I placed both of my arms in hopes that the trembling would subside and placed a quick kiss on his shoulder blade.

"It's ok, Paul," I pressed my forehead to his back.

He exhaled deeply and turned around, intertwining both of our hands, "I just have to say it already…even if you'll hate me."

My eyebrows furrowed as he began to lead me into the living room again, sitting down on the couch and pulling me onto his lap. We sat in the same position that we were in earlier when he was going to tell me. My head was resting on his chest with my eyes closed and his face was buried into my hair again. I listened to his heart as it thudded nervously inside of chest. Placing my palms on the top of his hands that were wrapped around my waist, I waited for him to speak.

He took a few deep breaths before he began, "Do you remember everything that happened with Sean?"

The name caused me to shiver, "Yes."

I was expecting him to be a part of the accident. To what extent was what I was worried about.

"Well," he paused for what seemed like forever, "He and the other two vampires, they took you," I shuddered, "I woke up that morning and you weren't there. So, I stupidly figured that you were just at work or something. He must've made you write a note or something because that's what you said…what he made you say. And in the note you hinted that it was him.

"We all went searching for you and found no trace of their scent or yours because one of them had the ability to cover all of it up," he kissed my hair, his lips lingering there for a minute before he continued, "I can't really remember everywhere we went, but we got as far as Seattle and still couldn't find anything. It was just so frustrating because I knew who had you…I just didn't know where. And I knew that I could've prevented him from taking you."

I opened my eyes and stared at him in disbelief. I knew he wouldn't continue on with the story if I told him he was wrong, so I left it alone for now.

"And then finally, after about five hours of us searching, we picked up _his_ scent," there was venom in his voice now, "We all knew it was a trap so we split up. For some strange reason a picture of the cliffs flashed into my head, so I went there…and I saw you. I saw what they did to you, what I let them do to you," he sighed, "And it broke me."

I grabbed his hands tighter, "What did I look like?" I was hesitant to ask but curious at the same time.

"Don't make me explain it," he whispered.

I turned my face towards his and pressed my forehead against his cheek, "Please," I begged.

He groaned in defeat, waiting a couple of minutes before answering me, "There were bruises on your neck and your wrists," his voice was shaky now, "And two injection wounds. You just looked like you had been through hell."

Hell, I could only imagine. This is probably the only thing I'm glad I can't remember, "So what happened next?"

"The bastard came out of nowhere," he growled, "Then he touched you and I just about lost it. Next thing I knew he was throwing you off of the cliff. I should've been quicker…I should've stopped it, but no I was too stupid."

There he goes again with the self hating.

"You hit a rock and broke your leg and I jumped after you while Jacob and Jared took care of Sean. I swam you to shore and then…," his mouth closed after that and it looked like he was going to stop talking, but he was already so far into the story that I wished he would just continue. He looked me in the eye for a second, as if to say sorry, and then he spoke again, "And then the other two showed up. I just left you there defenseless while I tried to take care of them. For a split second I lost concentration and the blonde had the upper hand," he ducked his head, "The other vampire grabbed you and…h-he smashed your…your head into a r-rock."

This was the first time that I had ever heard him stutter. I wanted so badly to tell him that I was ok, that I was here now, but I didn't say anything. For some dumb reason I just sat there. Maybe it was because I was a little shocked to hear that. I really shouldn't have been, though, because I was fine and that was all that really mattered.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," his voice was trembling, "I'm sorry."

I wanted to say that it was ok, but nothing came out of my mouth. I could feel his hands vibrating in mine and before I knew it I was sitting on the couch alone, staring at the wall while he ran out the back door.

The warmth and comfort that he provided me with was gone now and replaced with emptiness. I couldn't sit in here without him. I couldn't get over this alone. I knew that he blamed himself for everything that happened; he probably hasn't stopped ever since that day that I got my head smashed into a rock. I bet everyone's told him time and time again that it wasn't his fault, but he didn't listen. I could only hope that he would listen to me if I were the one to tell him that.

I walked out into the backyard where he had gone to, immediately stopping when I saw him at the edge of the forest. His hands were formed into fists and his whole body was shaking. I waited for him to phase into his wolf form but it didn't happen. I began to walk towards him slowly, hearing sharp snarls come out of his mouth as I got closer. When I reached him I placed myself in between him and the tree he was standing in front of.

Leaning against the tree I stared at his hands, waiting until the shaking stopped. His head was low and his stare set on the grass, but just my presence was enough to calm him down, "I love you…you know that right?"

He raised his head and met my gaze, "How could you when you know that I let them hurt you?"

I shook my head, "You didn't let them do anything, Paul. What happened to me wasn't your fault."

"I could've stopped them. They were right under my nose-,"

"Stop it," I shouted, "I can't stand to see you do this to yourself anymore. You constantly beat yourself up over things that don't matter."

He closed his eyes, "It does matter, Sammy. You were in a coma because I was stupid. You almost died because of me when I was the only one that deserved to die."

I tried to pretend like I didn't hear that, "Don't say things like that, Paul. You didn't deserve to die," I took a step closer to him, my face inches away from his, "I'm alive because of you. You were there for me throughout this whole thing. I would've died if you weren't there…so if anything you're a hero."

He shook his head, "I'm not a hero."

"You saved me, Paul. Believe me you are. And I can only wish that I can someday save you," I chuckled, "I doubt that that will ever happen since I'm so weak."

I managed to get him to crack a smile at that, "You already have saved me, Sammy."

"Oh yeah? Name one time," I smirked.

"Ok," he tapped his chin with his finger, making it look like he was thinking hard about this, "When you came back from New York you saved me. When you woke up from the coma you saved me," our eyes were glued to each other's faces, "You save me everyday just by loving me despite my flaws."

"Mush," I drew out the word.

He began to laugh, "You would ruin the moment by saying that," he quickly grabbed me by the waist and lifted both of my feet of the ground.

I started to laugh along with him, "I couldn't help it. You make it way too easy."

I looked into his eyes and our laughing soon turned into low chuckles until there was nothing but silence.

Suddenly, his lips crushed into mine and I grabbed both sides of his face to deepen the kiss. He parted my lips with his tongue and I gave him entrance into my mouth. Our tongues battled for dominance and I eventually just let him have his way since I didn't feel like fighting him anymore. When I came up for air he placed soft kisses onto my jaw and trailed them all the way down to my neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he nipped and flick his tongue back and forth against the skin on my neck. I softly moaned and forced our lips to connect once again.

He held me firmly against him as he began to walk backwards towards the house. I was too caught up in the moment to even care what was happening anymore. Once we reached the kitchen, Paul didn't stop moving as he headed into the living room and began to head up the stairs. I knotted my fingers in his hair and waited until we were finally in the bedroom to detach my lips from his. He gently laid me on the bed and stood back for a minute, just staring at me with a smile on his face as his chest heaved up and down.

"You're so beautiful," he said.

I smiled and never took my eyes off of him as he laid on top of me, supporting his weight with his arms so he wouldn't crush me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed our lips together again, my head spinning from the heat of his body. I buried my face in his neck as he kept trailing kisses up and down my neck until his lips were finally resting on my collarbone. He suddenly stopped and moved his face so it was level with mine.

"I want you," I said, placing both of my hands on his cheeks, "All of you."

He smiled and kissed me on the lips once again, lifting my shirt up over my head until it was gone and I was left with only my bra. I helped him with his shirt and pulled him to me for one chaste kiss before reaching for the strap and undoing it, revealing all of me to him. Making every part of me his.

**i know you're all probably disappointed that it stopped there but i really suck at lemony stuff so yeahh and plus this story is rated T...wow i really did bad with that ending lmfaooo i've never written anything lemony before so that's pretty much why it was bad hahahaha**

**next chapter will include lots of JACOB! :)**

**OH YEAH! and Sam and Emily's baby's name...it took me forever to think of a good name for him o.o i was seriously going back and forth between all of these names. I thought that was the best though and i hope you guys did to **

**let me know what you thought of this chapter and of the name Cameron James Uley XD**

**~KK**


	43. 41 Cocky Leech

**I'm sorry everyone! i hope you will all forgive me for not updating in a while! i made this chapter long (well i think its pretty long) to make up for the lack of updates. You can blame school for the long gap in updates hahaha :l**

**ENJOY!**

Song For this Chapter- Innocent by Taylor Swift (she performed it at the VMAs last night and it was amazing! if you want to listen to it you have to go on youtube and listen)

Chapter 41

Cocky Leech

I stretched my arm out and yawned, expecting my hand to touch Paul's warm skin. Instead, all I got was a fistful of blankets. When I opened my eyes I expected to see Paul on the far side of the bed that I couldn't reach, sleeping peacefully, but he wasn't in bed at all. In fact, he wasn't even in the room. I supported my weight on my elbows and winced from the slight soreness I felt in the lower area of my body.

"Come over here in about thirty minutes."

I shot my head in the direction of Paul's voice, which was coming from the other side of the bathroom door. I stayed still so that I could hear more of the conversation.

"Just do it. You're going to have to talk to her sometime," he snapped. There was a short moment of silence before Paul spoke again, "I need to get this finished before tonight," pause, "Can't you stop thinking about yourself for once and just help me?" a growl, then a pause. I considered getting up from the bed to put my ear up to the door so I could hear better, but I didn't exactly have any clothes on right now. And standing outside a bathroom door, prying on someone else's conversation while naked wasn't exactly the definition of being completely comfortable.

I leaned onto the side of the bed that was closest to the bathroom, hearing a long sigh come from Paul, "Yes, this is the right time. But I have to make it perfect and I can't do that without your help."

What is he talking about?

Once I heard the bathroom door handle jiggle I buried my face in the pillow and closed my eyes to make it seem like I wasn't awake yet. The door creaked open, and all I could hear was the unclear jittering of the person on the other line and Paul's steady breaths.

"Don't forget to be there at eight," he whispered, probably to be sure not to wake me.

He said a quick thank you and goodbye before coming over to the bed. The springs creaked as he laid his body down right next to me. My eyes fluttered open and I grinned at the sight of his face.

"Good morning," he began to twirl my hair around his finger.

I moved myself so that my bare chest was now pressed up against his, "Morning," I replied simply.

His lips twitched into a smile, "Did you sleep ok?"

I placed my palm on his cheek and kissed his lips, "Yes," I ran my hands through his short hair several times, "it was probably the sleep I've had ever since I moved back here."

He chuckled and slung his arm around my waist, "How are you otherwise?"

I shrugged, running my hands up and down his bare chest, "Pretty good."

His eyes narrowed, "Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"I don't know why do you find that hard to believe?"

Suddenly, it seemed as if he were getting embarrassed. Paul never got embarrassed. Ever. It must mean that hell has officially frozen over. Or else pigs have grown wings…

"You're not…sore?"

I chuckled at that.

Though I have never been intimate with anyone before, I knew that the first time you make love with someone can possibly be painful. And since Paul was a lot stronger than most guys, he probably thought that he had hurt me. Sure, I was feeling a little pain, but being with Paul, fully being with Paul was the most amazing feeling in the world. I didn't know it was possible to feel so connected to someone until now.

I pressed my forehead against Paul's, "I loved every part of last night, Paul and that's it. If I'm sore then I'm sore. It's not like I can't handle it."

"I-,"

"Shut up," I placed my finger on his lips, "Don't try to sell me any self hating crap because I'm not buying it. I love you and that's all that should matter."

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my finger, "You're right," his lips trailed kisses all the way down my jaw to my neck, "And that is all what matters to me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his scent, feeling myself start to get intoxicated by it.

"I love you, Sammy," he sighed against my collarbone.

I smiled, moving my hands down to the boxers he was wearing, "Show me how much you love me."

00000

Paul seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the house. I didn't know what was up with him, one minute we're sitting in bed, enjoying just being together and then all of a sudden he says that I have to get ready. I tried asking him for what, since I was planning on being lazy and mope around the house all day, but he didn't say a word. I was so reluctant to listening to him that he had to physically pick me up and put me in the shower. Once I was all clean and changed into some clothes –picked out by Paul- I heard the doorbell ring.

I wasn't expecting visitors, but maybe Paul was since he was acting like such a lunatic. I figured he'd get the door for his guest, so I stayed in the kitchen, drinking my small cup of coffee.

I watched through the doorway as Paul strolled into the living room, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. Something was definitely going on with him. He was wearing a shirt, which he barely ever does. So he must be doing something that doesn't involve the pack.

I had expected to see Sam or Jared on the other side of the door when Paul opened it, but I was wrong. It wasn't bad, it wasn't that great either. It was just Jacob Black.

Paul came into the kitchen and grabbed my hand, dragging me into the living room. Jacob looked at me once, maybe twice. Other than that he just kept his eyes on Paul.

"What is going on?" I asked, wondering if Jacob was the one he was on the phone with earlier.

"I have to take care of some business. And you two need to talk. So you're spending the day with Jake."

Jake smiled for a minute, but only a minute, "What business?"

"It's just something Sam wants me to help him with for CJ," he was lying straight through his teeth and it made me feel extremely suspicious now.

"And I can't just stay home alone because..?"

Paul opened his mouth to speak, but Jacob cut him off, "Because we really do need to talk."

I stared at Jacob long and hard, not being able to come up with another response. I've wanted to talk to him ever since I first woke up from the coma I was in and he wasn't there. He was avoiding me for some unknown reason and now all of sudden he wanted to talk as if I was going to be there for him. I didn't know if I could just let him have what he wanted.

I felt Paul grab my hand, "Later tonight I promise that everything will make sense. Please, just go with it for now."

He kissed the skin that was right beneath my ear lobe. I watched Jacob as he shifted from side to side in front of me, his face looking distraught. I didn't know what's been going on with him lately nor did I care to know…until right about now. I wanted to be the bigger person and be there for him even though he didn't do the same for me. After everything we've all been through, I didn't think I could lose him as a friend.

"Ok, I'll go," both of their faces lit up a little. Paul placed his lips onto mine for a short moment, "I guess I'll see you later then," I said to him.

He nodded, "Hear him out ok?" he whispered to me.

I looked back at Jake, "Sure."

I squeezed Paul's hand before I walked out the door, glancing over my shoulder back at before I closed the door behind me. Jacob and I walked in silence to his car and the silence didn't end until I decided to break it.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"The beach."

We didn't speak to each other anymore after that. I was just going to let myself believe that he was quiet because he was trying to figure out what he was going to say to me when we actually got to the beach. But as soon as I heard thunder coming from the sky, I thought that he wouldn't even have the chance to say anything.

It seemed only appropriate that the downpour started right when he cut the engine of his car. By the huge sigh that he let out I figured he was going to take me back home and say that we could do it another time, but that wasn't the case. He just sat there and I just stared out the window, waiting for him to either get on with it or go back to avoiding me.

Minutes passed…or maybe it was hours because it seemed pretty damn long that I was sitting there for just staring out at the rain. I grunted in frustration and sank down in my seat, attempting to get comfortable since it didn't seem like we were leaving anytime soon.

"You have every right to be angry with me," he muttered.

"But I'm not, Jacob," I replied, "Actually I thought it was the other way around since you've been acting like I don't exist anymore."

He clenched and unclenched his jaw several times, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry; I just want to know why. What did I do that was so bad that you had to start avoiding me?"

He let go of the steering wheel and looked at me out of the corner of his eye, "It's not you, Sammy…it's me."

I scowled, "Really? You're going to use the whole it's not you it's me bit right now?"

"I don't know what else to say," I heard a low growl come out of his mouth, "I just don't know why I'm being let off so easily."

Ok, now this was just getting annoying, "Care to elaborate?"

He let out a long and deep breath, mumbling to himself before speaking, "I imprinted. And she's half vampire, half human."

I felt my mouth completely close and my eyebrows furrow, "I still don't get-,"

"I told you the day before the accident and you freaked out because she's half vampire. I got angry and said some things I shouldn't have and then I left," he paused, "I wanted to stay mad at you because you just didn't understand that she wouldn't hurt anyone, but how were you supposed to know that? The only thing you knew about vampires was that they wanted to hurt you," he shook his head, "I was going to come over and apologize because of how stupid I acted. Then I decided against it because I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so I decided I'd do it the next day."

"And then the accident happened," I said.

He closed his eyes, "I thought that it was karma."

"Karma? Because of what happened between the two of us?"

He didn't answer me, he kept going on with his story, "I figured that I since I made it seem like I didn't care, then that was my punishment."

"But I woke up, Jacob. I'm ok now-,"

"You don't remember anything I said to you," he turned his head and stared out at the rain that pelted down on the window, "So how could I be able to talk to you like nothing happened? I wished everyday that I could take everything back that I said to you, so that if you…" I squirmed in my seat, predicting the word he was going to say, "if_ that_ happened then you could go on knowing that I didn't hate you. And then you woke up and didn't remember a thing and you were the same Sammy that I've always known. But I wasn't the same; I still couldn't get over what I did to you."

I reached my hand out and touched his warm arm to try and comfort him, "Jacob, telling me that you imprinted on a girl whose half vampire isn't a bad thing. I'm the one that turned it into something bad because of my assumptions," I guessed, "So, I'm sorry that I acted stupid. And I hope that things can go back to the way they were."

He still wouldn't look at me, "They can, just as long as you forgive me for overreacting."

I didn't believe that he did anything wrong, even after the whole story that should've convinced me that it was. But he's been waiting for me to forgive him for over three months, so I figured I should just say it, "I forgive you."

He turned back towards me and I could see the hint of a smile on his face, "Thank you," he sighed.

"Anything to get my friend back," I grinned, "So what were you planning on doing today anyways?"

"Well, I was hoping that if you're up for it, then we can visit a few people," he started the car and began to drive.

"I don't think I have much of choice," if I wanted to go home then Paul probably wouldn't be there, so there was no point in that.

I just let Jacob lead me to wherever he was planning on going. And when the destination became to clear to me I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, wondering why he would want to take me to the cemetery out of all places.

"We can go somewhere else if you want."

He must've known that I was questioning him in my head, "No, this is fine."

I found myself trying to come up with what I wanted to say to my mom when we reached the gates. Once we both got out of the car I led the way to my mom's grave with Jacob trailing closely behind me. The rain had thankfully turned into a light drizzle by the time we got here, so neither of us cared too much about getting wet.

I stopped in front of the grey stone that belong to Victoria Hobson and did nothing but stare at it. Jake stayed silent next to me, probably paying his respects in his head. While he did that, I let my thoughts quickly run through what had been going on with me lately. I wanted to give her some sort of update. So, I tried to find something important to tell her, anything at all. But there were only a few words that I could come up with that I actually felt I needed to say, "I'm ok, mom."

With a smile on my face I kissed my hand and placed it on the hedge stone, whispering I love you to her. After staring at the grave for a couple of silent minutes, I took my eyes off of it and set them back on Jacob, "How about you?"

His face stayed serious as he cocked his head to the side and began to walk. I followed him until we reached the other side of the cemetery and stopped in front of a dark stone that had the name Sarah Black engraved in it. I slid my hands into the pockets of my sweater and stood back while Jacob had his moment with his mother. This was the first time that I had ever seen him here, doing the same thing that I usually do with my mom. He just talked to her about everyday things, keeping everything short and simple, while I waited patiently for him to finish.

"Sammy is a good friend of mine," I listened when I heard him say my name, "She's one of the few people that I feel like I can talk about you to."

I kept my gaze on the wet grass, trying not to show how happy I was to hear him say that.

A little while later he said his goodbyes to her. We walked side by side and got into his car again, both of us silent because we were thinking about our moms. I couldn't stop thinking about how I was so close to seeing her again. If I had given in to death, then I would hopefully be in heaven with her right now, watching over everyone that I love and care about. But I was here, and I enjoyed being here just as much as I would enjoy being with her.

Something caught my eye out the window and I lost all concentration when I noticed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign on the side of the road.

"Now where are we going?" I asked.

Jake didn't take his eyes off of the road, "You'll see."

I stayed suspicious for the rest of the ride and became a little freaked out when we entered the woods. Wherever he was taking me was a place not too many people knew about. But there was a road, a narrow road that eventually led to…a mansion?

What the hell is going on?

"Who lives here? The Queen of England on holidays?"

He chuckled, "No I'm pretty sure she only lives in castles."

"Ok, but seriously who lives here?"

He was already out of the car and on my side when he answered me, "The Cullens."

The Cullens. All I knew was that there was a vampire named Carlisle Cullen and he came and helped Paul with the burns that were on his back a while ago. Wait never mind, I almost forgot about Bella who married the Edward dude. Crap, I was going to meet Bella.

"Why are we here?" I didn't know if I could handle being in a room with all of those vampires.

"I want to introduce you to Renesmee, my imprint," he reached over me and unbuckled my seatbelt.

I bit my lip and stared at the huge, modern looking house we were parked in front of, "I don't know."

"They're not going to hurt you. And if they try to then I'll protect you."

I kept trying to tell myself that I had to do this because the Cullens weren't bad vampires. They weren't going to hurt me like Jacob said. Besides, I really wanted to meet his imprint, "I'm just going to say hi," I got out of the car and closed the door behind me.

"That's all I'm asking for."

We walked up to the house and Jacob rang the doorbell. I thought he would've hesitated to ring it for my sake, but no he had to do it right away. Damn it I should've stayed in the car…

No, just calm down, you have to meet them. You're going to be fine.

The door suddenly flew open and all I saw was a pale skinned, gold eyed young woman with curly brunette hair and a toothy smile plastered onto her face, "Jacob," she threw her arms around him and I stood back from the sight of a vampire hugging a werewolf.

"It's good to see you too Bells," Jacob just laughed. He didn't try to pull out of the hug because he was uncomfortable and he didn't even react to the smell. The sickeningly sweet smell that made me want to barf. God, she reeked….

When they pulled out of the hug, the girl Jacob called Bells turned and looked at me, "Who's this?"

I didn't smile, I was too busy trying to ignore the smell, "Sammy," I said, my tone sounding slightly disgusted.

Jacob gave me a weird look while the brunette stuck her hand out for me to shake, "I'm Bella."

I grasped her hand and flinched from the coldness of her skin, taking a good look at the girl that broke Jacob's heart years ago. My first initial thought was that I should immediately hate her. Not only because she hurt Jake, but just simply because she needed to take a shower…right now.

"How can she smell to you?" I heard a velvet voice come from inside the house and before I could even blink a bronze haired vampire stood behind Bella.

"Uh, I don't know…?" it came out as a question since I never even said anything about that out loud. Was he some kind of mind reader or something?

"Actually I am," there was slight edge to his voice, "Are you a wolf too?"

My eyes went to Jacob who was just standing on the sidelines, looking as confused as I felt, "Well if you call being an imprint of a wolf then yeah I guess so," why was this idiot so interested in me anyways?

"She's Paul's imprint," Jake explained.

They both nodded and grimaced. Obviously they didn't like Paul as much as he liked them, "Who the hell are you anyways? And why are you assuming that I'm a freaking wolf?"

The one with the bronze hair chuckled and led us all into the house, his hand intertwined with Bella's. I stared up at the high ceilings as we entered the living room. Quickly glancing over at Jacob to be sure that he was close by I stopped. All three of them sat down on the couches while I hesitated to do the same, "Edward and I'm assuming you're a wolf because you think that we smell like all the wolves do," the cocky leech said. I heard him growl, probably because he heard me thinking that. Oh well, he'll have to get used to it.

"Well I'm not, sorry to disappoint you. You really do stink, though, and it's kind of bothering me," I sat down next to Jake and tried to ignore the fact that they were all staring at me.

"Sammy," I jumped when I heard my name, turning around to find a pixie like vampire sitting right next to me, "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. It's just good to see that you're doing well."

I tried not to look at her in a weird way, "Um, do I know you?"

"Oh, sorry," she smiled, "I'm Alice. I visited you in the hospital once and tried to see if you were going to be ok."

"Way to confuse her even more," Jacob added next to me.

"Shut up, dog," she glared at him over my shoulder before softening her expression when she looked back at me, "How are you?"

I felt so overwhelmed right now it wasn't even funny, "Uh, I'm ok now except for a few minor setbacks."

I didn't have time to protest before she pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever been in. I looked at Jake with wide eyes and mouthed help to him, but of course he just laughed. So much for protecting me.

It took me a little while to get used to being in a house full of vampires. I kind of felt like I was starting to fit in once I met all of the Cullens. Well, Rosalie was bitter, but there's always got to be one person who doesn't like you. Stupid Edward told Carlisle about the whole situation where I said Bella smelled. Carlisle didn't say much about that; just that he would do some research on it.

"We're home!" I heard a booming voice come from the front door.

Jacob suddenly looked a lot happier than he did two seconds ago. All of the complaints about being tired seemed to wash away when he heard those two words. I knew that it could mean one thing and one thing only, Renesmee was home. That face was so familiar to me that I knew it couldn't be anything else.

A very huge and very intimidating looking man walked through the door. He had short, dark hair and a grin that made me believe that he wasn't as intimidating as he looked. Right behind him, a small toddler walked into the room with the biggest smile on her face. She had reddish brown hair that hung down right on her shoulders in cute little curls. I assumed that she was about four years old from the way she looked.

"Jakie!" she squealed and ran right into the arms of her soul mate.

I watched as Jacob twirled her around in his arms with a superior grin on his face. I could only imagine how much Jacob loved her. This little girl didn't know how lucky she was to have him because I knew how sweet Jake was to everyone, but to her I bet he was one hundred times sweeter.

"Did you catch me a mountain lion?" Jacob asked her.

He told me earlier that Renesmee mostly drank blood like her dad, Edward, and the only human food she would eat was eggs. I wasn't grossed out by his question. Actually, I felt like it was normal for someone to as that sort of question as crazy as it sounds.

Instead of answering him, Nessie –Jacob's nickname for her- placed her palm on his cheek. One other thing he told me prior to her homecoming was that she could project her thoughts to other people just by simply touching them.

Once she was finished with showing him what she needed to Jake nuzzled her with his nose and she giggled. It was a special moment between the two of them that I felt like was reserved for only them and no one else. I turned my head and looked at the huge guy that was standing against the doorframe with his arms crossed and his eyes fixated on me.

"So, you're Sammy," he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "And you are?"

He laughed, "I'm Emmett."

"Nice to meet you," I had a feeling that this guy was into jokes, "I guess."

He started laughing again only this time it seemed like the whole house shook because it was so loud, "I like you already."

"Thanks, Emmie," I smirked.

He suddenly stopped his fit of laughter and looked serious for the first time, "No problem Samantha."

I was tempted to throw a pillow at him, but with his vampire reflexes and all I didn't think it would really matter, "Fine I'll call you Emmett just as long as you never call me by my full name again."

"Deal," he raised one eyebrow at me, "Can I see your scar?"

I bet most people would find this question offensive, well I didn't, "Sure," I picked up the layer of hair that covered up the scar on my head.

"Gnarly," he said.

I snorted, "Gnarly? Where are you from, California?"

He half smiled at me, "I think you and I are going to be great friends."

Friends…I can't believe I'm becoming friends with a vampire.

**I can't believe she's becoming friends with a vampire either lol**

**i'm getting sad...the next chapter is the last chapter before the epilogue **

**but i should still be happy because right after that i am going to start the sequel :)**

**so any guesses as to what Paul's up to? And the wolf gene is still coming into play in this story...it's not going to leave EVER**


	44. Author's Note VERY IMPORTANT!

Hello everyone that could possibly be looking at this! If you were one of my amazing readers/reviewers (I'm going to assume that this is very few of you) and you are reading this now then I would love to say thank you. Thank you because I have been a huge ass for not posting anything in oh I don't know ALMOST A YEAR...I'm so sorry everyone. I don't have much of an excuse except life kind of happened. Last days of high school happened. Falling in and out of a relationship happened. Crew for theatre happened. Everything happened. Job applications happened. Interview number uno happened.

Like I said that's not a great excuse for not writing, but I can tell you that I am truly missing the days where I posted my precious chapters (PRECIOUUUSSSSSSSSSSS). I'm missing Sammy and Paul and Melody and Brady. I'm missing my peeps. I'm missing it allllll soo much right about now. I have been creepin (yes creepin) around here lately and reading over my stories and I feel pretty crappy about leaving you all hanging right at the end of Best Friends No More and right before a crucial part of In Too Deep. I even read it and thought that there should be more. And yes, I have the ideas still rattling around in my head. And yes I think about these stories every day. I even have an original story idea popping into my head now. :P

So all I can say now if you're reading this is I hope you can give me another chance at getting into the old swing of things and writing up a storm. And I hope that you will still be amazing readers and reviewers of mine.

If you feel like you don't even remember half of the shit (I do swear too much) I wrote about before then read the stories over (only if you want too).

So, my first task will be...IN TOO DEEP. The idea for the next chapter of that is stuck in my brain and even partially typed up already. I'm also pissed though because two months ago my computer got a lovely virus on it and I had the amazing chance to completely rid my harddrive of everything that was on it. INCLUDING almost half of this next chapter for In Too Deep. FML x100000 :D. But I can say I do remember what I had written pretty well. I hope I can just write it out well enough. Basically I have a new computer with nothing on it except this note and what I'm currently trying to write.

I hope you don't see this and think DAMN TOO MUCH TOO READ! well if you do then I'm sowwy :( too much to write about.

One last thing is I changed my username from FightingEclipse44 to TragicallyMagical.

My twilight ship is sailing and I am no longer the HUGE fan I used to be. Now don't get disappointed I still love the wolves and Jacob and my characters and their storylines. I just love Falling In Reverse a lot tooo teeheee. (look them up! They're awesome!)

ONE MORE BIG THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO READ THIS!

And if you want me to pick up writing again then please please leave a REVIEW saying so! If i don't get many reviews then I don't know what I will do exactly. I would understand why people wouldn't want to come back and read. I have been an unfaithful author :(

Sorry everyone...

I'm rambling

so I'm going to bid you adeu

~KK


	45. 42 Trail of Fudge Brownies

**Hello everyone :) I'm glad that you all left reviews for my last AN I really appreciate them all. **

**All I have to say is sorry again and that I'm very sad that this is the last chapter of this story. :( Don't worry I am still going to do a sequel and now that I am back into writing it will happen. **

**I hope you all enjoy this for the last time. **

Song for this Chapter- Arms by Christina Perri

Chapter 42

Trail of Fudge Brownies

At first I had absolutely hated vampires, figuring that they were just a bunch of assholes who drank blood for a living and loved to kill people. But the Cullen's were nothing like I had assumed, with the exception of maybe Rosalie. The one I felt like I could relate with was Emmett since he seemed to have the exact same kind of personality as I did. The only difference between us was he had his intimidating muscles to scare people off while I only had a shaky hand and one huge, disgusting scar across my scalp. Alice on the other hand was harder to understand. She seemed too peppy for me, but was also pretty funny. The only ones that were more difficult to build a friendship with were Edward and Bella. Don't get me wrong, they're ok, but I still had the fact that she willfully wanted to be turned into one of them stuck in my head. Not to be rude or anything, but who would want that kind of future? I didn't really get it.

I heard Edward growl from across the kitchen table. I raised my head to look at him.

"Someone's sensitive."

Carlisle and Jake looked at both of us shortly before going back to their discussion about me and my weirdness. Apparently thinking that the Cullens stunk wasn't normal unless you were a shapeshifter. It's not my fault really, I mean being immortal doesn't necessarily mean you can just not take showers and think you're completely clean.

"You don't even know what you're talking about," Edward said.

I rolled my eyes, "Why don't you stop concentrating on my thoughts and more on what everyone else is talking about."

I put a fork full of scrambled eggs in my mouth and ignored him now, turning towards Jacob and looking down at little Nessie who was sitting in his lap. She smiled up at me and copied what I was doing, eating her own fork full of eggs.

"You like eggs, huh?" I asked her.

She nodded, "I like mountain lions too!"

I scrunched up my nose, "Ever tried blood and eggs together?"

Edward hissed at me.

"What? She can't eat her two favorite things combined? Come on I bet it tastes just like eggs and ketchup," I narrowed my gaze at him.

Bella suddenly glided into the room with a huge smile plastered to her face, "We could try it."

I grinned, realizing that I liked Bella more than I liked her mind reading jerk of a husband.

"You really are Paul's imprint," he sighed and got up from his chair, pecking Bella on the lips.

I looked back at the two people that remained at the table, trying to tune into what they were saying, but failing since they talked way too fast.

"Can you talk a little slower, please?" I asked, "I mean you are talking about me, so don't I deserve to at least hear what you're saying?"

Both of them stopped talking and hesitated before they looked at me.

"We have an idea," Jake finally said.

"Ok," I dropped my fork onto my plate and crossed my arms over my chest, "Let's hear it."

Carlisle talked next, "If you really do have part of the wolf gene inside of you, then we want to see if you possess anything other than your sense of smell that comes from that."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Like what?"

"Like if your body can heal quicker than a normal human's," Jacob fidgeted in his seat before continuing, "Your doctor always said it was a miracle that you were alive. So-,"

"So you think I'm only alive because the wolf gene caused me to heal quicker and more efficient than I would if I was human?"

Why the hell was I asking this? I am human!

I had looked to both of them to get an answer, but they didn't. They just stared at each other like they knew it was true but they didn't want to hurt my feelings by saying it out loud.

I sighed, "So how do we test it out?"

"A small cut would work," Jake answered.

My eyes widened a bit, "Great."

Sure maybe I wouldn't be whiny about it if I was at home, right now that wasn't the case. I was surrounded by vampires. Vampires plus blood equals a bad situation.

"Jake will have to take you in the forest just to be safe," Edward said.

I looked at him as he leaned against the counter with his arm wrapped around Bella. At that moment I wished Paul was here to freak out on everyone and say that I didn't have to do it, but he wasn't. I didn't even know where he was right now.

* * *

We walked down a small dirt path, Jake with a small pocket knife in his hand and me with my hands just hanging down at my sides.

"So I have to be suicidal in order to know if I'm a...wolf person thing."

Jake laughed lightly. I really didn't find the humor in that, "You're not being suicidal, Sammy."

"What if I do heal in ten seconds? What does that mean?" I didn't want to ask if I would phase soon. It was too much to handle right now.

"I don't exactly know. I mean you've never even come close to getting the fever, and you have gotten really pissed off before," that was true, "Maybe it just means that you're only partially a wolf."

My head began to spin from hearing the word wolf. Yes, I was used to hearing that enough, but now that it was being applied to me I didn't like the sound of it.

"Don't worry," he slung his arm over my shoulder, "I honestly don't think you're ever going to actually phase. It could just be that you're like your father."

I nodded, hoping that that was the case. My dad possessed the gene but never phased. I never asked him before if he had any wolf symptoms like me, though.

"I think here is good," Jake stopped walking and I did the same, looking up at the grey sky before looking back at him.

"Just get it over with," I stuck out my hand towards him, palm up. Biting my lip I watched as he flipped open the pocket knife, "This is really stupid," I proclaimed.

He barely even smiled, "It'll be over in a second," I watched as he pulled a small rag out of his pocket, "Just in case," he explained.

I rolled my eyes and then closed them, not wanting to see the damage that was going to be done.

"I'm going to count to three and then I'm going to do it ok?"

I bobbed my head up and down. As he counted I only thought about going home and being wrapped in Paul's arms. I felt a chill run through me from the thought of being consumed by his warmth...

Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my hand, "Shit!" I screamed, shaking my hand in the air like it was on fire. I began hopping up and down like a complete dumb ass, "What the hell! I hate this stupid experiment!"

I turned my eyes down to my palm to look at the blood that I knew had to be gushing out of my hand, but was a little set off by the fact that the cut was already starting to disappear. Jacob wiped off the small bit of blood that was on my hand, but the only thing I could do was stare at my woundless palm.

"You're definitely not normal," Jacob announced, "but we all knew that already," he smirked.

I glared at him, "Shut up this isn't funny at all."

I turned around and stalked off towards the mansion.

"It's not that bad," he followed me.

"Maybe not to you."

"We all had to deal with the changes too you know. The only difference is you probably don't have to go through the biggest one of them all," he commented.

I disagreed, "That may be true, but you don't have to live knowing that the only reason you're alive is because of some damn gene."

That made him shut up, but only for one minute, "Come on-,"

"No you come on! Don't tell me I'm wrong because I know for a fact that I'm right. That test right there just confirmed my fears that the two of you decided to bring up fifteen minutes ago."

I tried to walk even faster then I was now, but by the looks of it I didn't possess the ability to move extremely fast like the rest of the pack did.

"All of us have had to deal with fears like that before, Sammy," I tried to make it look like I wasn't paying attention to him, "Hell everytime we're trying to kill a damn bloodsucker we're reminded of the fact that the only reason we come out of it alive is because we're shapeshifters. But we don't hate it or see it as a burden, we just accept it as a part of who we are."

"I don't want it to be a part of me," I added.

"That's what everyone says when they start off."

Maybe what he says is true, but I still didn't want to believe that I could be like them. I wasn't strong and powerful, I was only weak and stupid. Sure, maybe I could heal quicker than some people, but it would be better if I could actually defend myself instead of risking everyone else's lives for me.

"You'll be ok," he dragged me closer to him and warmed me up from the cold that the rain had left behind.

I didn't reply to his words. I decided to just let them stick with me for a while and try to make my brain belive them.

As soon as we got back to the house Jake went to tell Carlisle how our experiment turned out, and then they went into the living room to talk more about it.

I didn't feel like hearing anymore, so I figured I would go exploring through their house. I walked up the stairs slowly, examining each piece of artwork on the walls as I did. When I reached a long hallway I didn't know what to do. There were too many doors and I didn't know what I would find. I only got close to one door before I heard her.

"There you are!" I turned around and looked at Alice. She began to walk towards me, "We have to get you ready for tonight."

I flinched when her cold hand grabbed my wrist, "What's tonight?"

Alice giggled, "You'll see."

I was led to a huge room with windows lining every inch of every wall, and nothing in there but a bunch of clothes and bags of makeup everywhere. I felt like I was in some sort of girly beauty boutique.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

Alice went to one of the three, yes three, closets in the room and pulled out a beautiful short, dark blue dress, holding it up in the air for me to see.

"I bought this for you with a little help from Emily and Kim."

"Emily and Kim?" I was shocked that they helped her buy something for me, "Why do I need to wear a dress that probably costs more money than I own?"

"Because tonight is going to be special and I said so," she held it up to me for a second, "It's going to fit perfectly," a devilish smile appeared on her face.

"Please tell me you're not going to-,"

"Yes, I am," she declared, "And I already saw that you're going to look beautiful."

"Did you also see me putting up a fight while you were in the process of giving me a freaking makeover?"

She rolled her eyes and led me to a chair that was set up in front of a bunch of huge mirrors, "Just close your eyes and I'll be finished in no time."

I sighed, "You better not make me look like a clown."

Despite the fact that I didn't even know why I was getting my hair and makeup done by this fashionista, I let her do whatever she wanted too. I figured that putting my trust in her would be better than protesting since she had venomous teeth that she could use against me. After she finished plopping makeup on my face, she moved on to my hair. After she was finished styling it she moved on to the canned deathtrap.

The hairspray she began to spray made me choke, "Are you planning on destroying the ozone layer with that crap?"

"You need to relax," she said, "I'm almost finished with you, anyways."

"Thank god I thought I was going to die from the fumes."

Ok, maybe I was being a little overdramatic about this, but I really wasn't used to hairspray and lipstick. I was even more uncomfortable with her putting heels on me. Now that was going to be a problem. I want my precious converse back.

"Ok, I'm done," she kept smiling from ear to ear.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror in front of me. For the first time ever, I actually felt that I looked pretty. My hair was curled in a half up half down style while my eyes had a smokey shadow on them and mascara. My lips were a bright red shade and the dress I was wearing looked...amazing. The silver beads around the waist shined as the lights in the room bounced off of each of them. I could see through the windows that it was getting dark outside, and I tried to decipher what I could possibly be doing tonight.

"Alice who set all of this up?" I asked.

She shook her head, "You're gonna have to figure that out for yourself. I'm going to go tell Jacob you're ready, come downstairs in a couple minutes. The two of you are going to have to leave soon or else you'll be late."

Alice walked out of the room and left me alone to marvel at the sight of me. I hated to feel like a conceited bitch, but I looked pretty damn good.

"That's a first," I smiled slyly.

I extended my time upstairs by trying to practice walking in these heels. I had the feeling that they kept getting higher the longer I walked, because I honestly tripped over my own feet every two seconds. This is the only bad thing about this get up, I had to wear these stupid things or else Alice would probably have my head on a platter. I honestly don't think I can make it through the night in these things, though.

Then an idea suddenly popped into my head. I turned around and looked at the simple outfit I had been wearing before, my eyes travelling straight to the black converse on the floor. I twisted my mouth as I thought about whether or not I should even try to sneak these on somehow.

I looked down at myself, there really was no way I could put them on now. A few more minutes passed until a lightbulb finally went off in my head. I could just say that I'm putting the old clothes in the back of Jake's car. I quickly scooped up the clothes and shoes in my arms and headed down the stairs, as slowly and carefully as possible.

Jake waited at the bottom of the stairs, a half smile tugging at his lips.

"I never thought I would see you in a dress like that," he teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him, and all at once I noticed that all of the Cullens were swarming the staircase. Either they were really hungry or they just wanted to see me in the dress for the first and last time.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

I glared at Edward, wanting to punch him for being so nosy.

"What are you doing with those?" Alice asked, her eyes on my clothes.

Here was where I had to put my plan to work, "I'm just going to leave them in Jake's car," I heard the annoying Eduardo laugh in the background.

_Screw you_, I thought.

Alice looked at me suspiciously and finally rolled her eyes, "Just go, you're going to be late."

I took that eye roll as a sign that she knew what I was going to do with my shoes.

"Thank you for the dress, Alice," I gave her a quick hug.

"You're welcome," she pulled away and looked me up and down once before sending us off.

We piled into Jacob's car and were off to...wherever we were going. At this point I really just wanted to know where that was.

"So, I'm assuming you're not going to tell me where you're taking me?"

He kept his eyes on the road, "Now why would I do that?"

I huffed, feeling frustrated, "Why does everything have to be a secret around here?"

"Cause it's more fun that way."

I highly doubt that.

It didn't take me long to figure out that we weren't going to La Push. Assuming that I didn't get this dressed up to just go home, I tried to think of something else. Maybe I was being taken to some surprise party. Maybe it was a party for the president or something. When I glanced at Jacob in his muddy boots, ripped jeans and grey t-shirt I didn't think that was right either.

We drove for what seemed like forever, and I kept trying to think of possible places that he could be taking me to. When I came up with absolutely nothing each time I started to get tired of this stupid guessing game.

"Will you give me a clue as to where you're taking me?"

Jacob laughed, "You're going to be there soon enough, just be patient."

"You know that's not going to happen," I mumbled.

It was almost completely dark outside. The crescent moon was hanging in the deep blue sky and there were a few stars visible. I looked at the clock which told me that it was already seven forty.

"How much longer?" he had to at least answer that for me.

"I'm only going to tell you that we're going to Port Angeles so you'll shut up."

I tried to figure in my head how much longer we had until we got there, figuring about twenty more minutes which would be at eight. Why was that time so familiar to me?

I knew I had to have heard someone talking about eight o'clock recently, but couldn't put my finger on who said it and when. It was on the tip of my tongue, and it pretty much wouldn't come to me.

My eyes were fixated on the thousands of evergreens that we kept passing, each of them almost invisible, the moon giving them only a slight glow. It reminded me of the time when Paul had driven me to work, and Sean had made me see an illusion of him...

Wait, Paul.

Paul.

He was the one who said something about eight o'clock this morning. Telling whoever was on the phone with him to be there at exactly eight. I was assuming now that that definitely had to be Jacob who he talked to. So, obviously I was going to see Paul, but for what? I could just settle for seeing him at home where I would actually be in comfortable clothes. Which reminds me.

I grabbed my converse that were in the back seat of the car. Kicking off the annoying heels, I tied them onto my feet, letting out a relieved breath when I was finished.

"Much better," I smiled.

Jacob clicked his tongue, "Alice isn't going to be too happy."

"She already knew what I was going to do when I was leaving. Even if she didn't know, Edward probably told her. He really seems like his goal in life is to annoy the hell out of me."

He chuckled, "Tell me about it."

About ten minutes later and we were finally coming to a stop. And we stopped right in front of the art gallery where I worked. I was going to work? Out of all places? What kind of special night is this?

"Uh, thanks but I really wasn't planning on going here today."

"Well, I'm not taking you home, so you're going in there," he replied.

I ducked my head to see out the windshield, seeing that the whole place was dark which was weird since we didn't close until nine, "It doesn't even look like anyone's there."

"Trust me, you want to go in there."

I raised one eyebrow at him, "But-,"

"Go damn it!" he gave me a nudge.

I sighed and reluctantly opened my door, stepping out into the cold air in this skimpy little thing I was wearing, "I'm going to kill you if this turns out to be some sort of prank."

"It's no prank, now go!" he reached over the passenger's seat and closed the door right in my face. I watched as his car began to pull out of the parking spot and he just drove away, leaving me here alone to find out what was really going on.

I turned towards the glass doors that led to the gallery, taking slow steps and inching closer to them until my face was practically pressed up against the glass.

My hands curled around the door knob which surprisingly wasn't locked, and creaking the door open I stepped into the gallery. The only source of light in the whole place were small candles that had a vanilla scent to them and the lights that lit up each piece of artwork.

"Hello?" I called out, hoping someone else would respond.

To my disappointment the only thing I could hear was my own breathing.

I looked at the walls to see the paintings that were hanging on them, but something was definitely off. They didn't look like they should even be there. I walked closer to the wall that was directly across from me and examined one of the-

My heart stopped inside of my chest. I went to the next spot on the wall and was met with the same thing, and then the same thing again at the following spot.

This can't be happening.

"Is this some sort of trick?" I shouted.

Of course, no one answered me. I blinked a few times to be sure I was seeing things correctly and sure enough there it was time and time again.

One of my own drawings. One of the drawings that had been destroyed up on the wall right in front of me. And that was all that filled up the whole gallery, my art and only mine. Every painting I have ever done, every drawing, and even every one of the sketches that was ripped to pieces by Sean.

I felt my eyes being pricked by tears, wondering how this could even be possible. And as I headed towards the back of the gallery I knew I would find my answer sooner than I thought. I crouched down to the floor and picked up the small little fudge brownie square that was in front of me.

I couldn't help the fit of laughter that consumed me when I saw it. It had to be one person and one person only that would do something like this. He left a small trail of fudge brownies that led to the back door of the gallery. I followed the trail, opening the door and stepping back out into the cold air, finally hearing his voice.

When I saw him he was just pacing back and forth talking to himself, obviously not realizing I was there yet. It took me a minute to realize he was wearing a black suit and tie. The whole place was lined with the same vanilla scented candles that were in the gallery.

After a few more minutes, he still hadn't seen me, "I can't believe you're wearing a suit," I blurted out.

He stopped dead in his tracks and finally acknowledged me. I felt my heart begin to race at how handsome he looked right now.

"Shit," he cursed.

I snickered, "Not the kind of respond I was hoping for."

"You're two minutes early," he looked at his watch.

"Oh, so you really did mean exactly at eight. I didn't know-,"

"No, just," he paused looking everywhere frantically, "just turn around."

I kniited my brows together. I can honestly say I have never seen him so nervous before.

"NIce shoes by the way," he commented.

I chuckled as I did as I was told, "I thought you would like them."

"Just don't try to peek or anything ok?" he asked.

"Paul, you can relax you know? It's just me."

I heard him laugh behind me, "I know," he whispered.

I waited a minute for him to tell me to turn back around. Now I was the one that was starting to get nervous. I had no idea what he was planning right now after he had just done all of that for me in the gallery. It seemed like that was enough.

"Turn around," he said.

I took a deep breath and turned, feeling the heat radiating off of him when I saw how close he was to me. He held up a small box wrapped in silver paper and tied with a white ribbon around it.

I grinned, "A gift?"

"Something little," he gave me a kiss on the cheek before handing it over.

I untied the ribbon and slowly lifted the lid off of the package, my hands beginning to shake when I saw what it was.

Paul started to drop down on one knee and I felt as if I was going to faint when his knee finally touched the ground.

"I've been through hell and back with you, Sammy," his voice was soft and sweet, "And I can say that I wouldn't change any minute of it. I want to be there for you through everything. I want to be able to call you mine," he hesitated, "forever."

I didn't speak as he took the box, taking the ring out and holding it up right in front of me, "Even though all of this sounds so damn mushy that I can barely handle it, it's the only way I know how to say how much I love you," I smiled from ear to ear, "Will you marry me, Sammy?"

My head was spinning from everything I just heard and my hands were shaking even more than they were two seconds ago. Shock didn't even come close to describing how I felt right now.

"Yes," I answered him, "But on one condition," he smirked at me, probably predicting that I would say something like that, "You have to promise me that you will never keep secrets like this from me again. It drove me crazy all day."

He laughed as he slid the ring on my finger and stood up, "I promise you that will never happen again."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips, knowing that those lips were now going to belong to me. He was mine forever. I really liked the sound of that.

When we pulled away from the kiss a question popped into my head, "How did you fix all of my drawings?"

He shrugged, keeping his arms locked around my waist, "I called a guy who knew a guy who knows how restore destroyed paintings and pictures, stuff like that."

I shook my head, "I don't even know if that's possible, but I guess I believe you."

"You have to believe me, you're going to be my wife soon."

I rested my head in the crook of his neck, feeling completely content with that, "I love you hubby."

His body shook from his laughter, "Does that mean I get to call you wifey?"

I nodded.

He kissed my temple, "Then I love you too my beautiful wifey who looks pretty damn amazing tonight."

I breathed in his scent as we just stood there together, not caring about what was going on with the rest of the world, "Those brownies were a nice touch," I added, "I'm tempted to eat one."

"Only you would want to eat one of my props."

I raised my head off of his chest and kissed his jaw, letting my lips linger there for a second, "Yeah, well you're going to have to deal with me for the rest of our lives. Are you ready for that? I mean I can be a lot to handle."

He pressed his mouth against mine one more time, "I think I'll be ok just as long as you can handle me shifting in to a wolf every other day."

"Now that may be a deal breaker."

He finally pulled away from me, shaking his head from sided to side keeping our hands intertwined, "Come on, we have to blow out those candles before they burn the whole place down."

"Your props lasted for about ten minutes, and I'm not even going to ask how you managed to get Maggie to let you have the place for the whole night."

He opened the door for me and let me walk in front of him, "Let's not talk about that right now."

I squeezed his hand tighter, knowing that the memory of this night was going to stay with me forever. I would never lose it, I would never lose him. We were going to finally be able to live our lives together in peace. The chapters of the past were now closed, and new ones were going to be opened. Our journey was only just beginning.

"I love you, Paul," I said one more time.

He drew me in closer to him, "I love you too, wifey."

**So this is it! It is basically over**

**the only thing left now is an epilogue and then Best Friends No More is officially DONE! :(**

**all I can say is I'm so grateful for all of you who have stuck with this story for so long. You are all the reason why the completion of this story was possible. And I would like to say that I finished this chapter at one in the morning and I now have a headache and feel nauseous from writing for so long. But it was definitely worth it! **

**I will be putting a link to a picture of Sammy's dress in my profile if some of you are curious**

**Lastly, I have something very IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU ALL! and kind of exciting too!**

**I am planning on putting up a new poll on my wall :) It is about the sequel to this story so please check it out.**

**I will tell you right now that it is about one of the new characters I have created for it named Eli Moore.**

**He is a very crucial part to this next story and I love his personality very very much. So, what I'm asking all of you is who do you think Eli is? **

**Do you think he's: A. a vampire, B. a new wolf, C. Paul's cousin, or D. A regular human that gets caught up in something HORRIBLE!**

**THe only clue I am giving you is this- Sammy is bugged by him and really dislikes him. **

**And if at least 10 people get the answer right then I will be posting a preview for the sequel that I already have typed up! :) **

**So just go to my profile and vote for your choice! :)**

**Once again thank you all for your dedication! You guys are truly amazing people!**

**peace out**

**~KK**


	46. Sequel Preview!

**Hello everyone! I hope you liked the last chapter Yes i know I'm posting really long after I posted the last chapter but I hope you like this preview of the sequel**

**I'm not sure if the sequel will be named this but idk it's kind of what I came up with right now so let me know what you think!**

**and the answer to the poll will be discovered when you read ) **

**hope you like it!**

Sneak Peek of

Once a Friend, Always Your Love

Four more murders in Oregon, northern Oregon if you want to get technical. But it was still more murders than it had been three days ago. And this time it was also closer to the state of Washington. I barely listened to the reporter as she kept going on about how they didn't have much information on the exact cause of the murder, just that there was a serial killer at large heading north. They didn't give a description of the "serial killer" that was on the loose, but I didn't need much of a description. The killer had crimson red eyes and pale skin; I knew that much for sure.

The pack and the Cullens have been tracking the bloodsucker for a while. They've been waiting for the day that the leech will cross the border into Washington so they could kill him already. They were so sure that it was going to be an easy task. They were confident. So, I shouldn't feel threatened…right?

As soon as I heard the front door start to open I turned the TV off and tried to calm my nerves by taking a couple of deep breaths.

"I'm home," Paul came up behind the couch and kissed my neck, letting his lips linger on my skin for a couple of seconds before he pulled away, "Why is your pulse racing?"

Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have watched the news, "You startled me, that's all," I turned my head so our noses were practically touching and kissed his lips, knowing that it would cause him to forget about my jittery behavior.

I felt him smile against my lips before he pulled away, "I missed you," he whispered to me.

"I think I missed you more," I smirked.

He came around the side of the couch and planted himself next to me before he pulled me in close to his side, "I highly doubt that."

I rolled my eyes, "So, how did patrolling go?"

He shrugged, "It was…uneventful," for some odd reason I didn't believe him.

"Oh really?" I could tell that he was lying by the way his jaw clenched, "Come on, Paul. You know you can tell me anything."

"I know I can it's just," he paused, "you won't like it."

"Try me," I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Fine," he sighed, "The house was sold."

I waited for him to go on and explain more, but I guess he wasn't going to, "You're going to have to be clearer. What house was sold and how did you find this out?"

He closed his eyes in frustration and turned his head so that when he opened his eyes again he was no longer looking at me, "The house that belonged to you and…Sean," he growled at the name.

I tried not to sound as surprised as I felt, "You told me that we would forget about that place after Sam found that realtor."

"I know, believe me I do. It's just that the family that's moving in is half Quileute and there's a possibility that the kid living there could phase if the leech were to get close enough. So, Sam wants us to keep an eye on them if anything were to happen. It's just a precaution, though; we're not going to let the damn thing have a chance to get close to La Push."

And there it is again, that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, "So, I guess we're not forgetting about that place."

"I'm sorry," he tightened his grip on me; "You know I hate the house as much as you do. I'm only doing this cause it's alpha's orders."

"It's not your fault. I'll just have to deal with it," even though it feels like we're flipping back to a chapter that I thought I was finished with.

* * *

It was official. The leech was now in Washington and made it into Seattle. But the weird thing about that situation is that the bloodsucker keeps going back and forth between Seattle and Lakewood. Now all of a sudden it wasn't just killing in one place. It couldn't be satisfied with residing in one spot. It had to keep getting closer and then getting farther away again. It was like the leech was playing games. And I haven't felt comfortable ever since I came up with that theory.

Well, what I was doing today definitely wasn't helping me feel any more comfortable. I could see the moving van down the road as I got closer to that house. It had been a week and a half since I found out that there was someone moving into the house that I once shared with Sean, the asshole who put me in a coma.

I stopped walking once I was standing in front of the neighbor's house, keeping my eyes on the small blue house with the white shutters and the small porch that led up to the front door. It brought back memories of the days that I lived there, the days where I thought that I was happy with Sean. I feel so stupid now for believing that he was actually a good person.

For a while I stood there watching as the movers brought furniture and boxes into the house, shuddering when I caught a glimpse of the inside. Flashes of Sean were all that I could see then. His voice rang in my ear and the feeling of his fingers on my lips wouldn't fade.

"I promise I'll let you see your mutts again. Just kiss me for old times' sake and you can see them."

I trembled in fear.

"Are you lost?" I heard a voice and didn't recognize it. So it couldn't have been Sean.

I opened my eyes and stared at the boy that was standing in front of me with a box in his hands. He was at least six feet tall and had muscles that made the t-shirt he was wearing look way too small for him. His hair was dark and scruffy and his skin was tan, which made me believe that he was Quileute and that this was the kid that Sam wanted the pack to keep an eye on. From the looks of it he was already transforming.

"Can you hear me?" He said a little louder, "I said are you lost?" He lowered his head so that we were at eye level and I realized that he had icy blue eyes which were the only indication that he wasn't fully Quileute.

"I heard you," I replied, "And no, I'm not lost," I glanced back at the house.

"Ok," I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was confused, "well if you're part of the welcoming committee then I have to tell you that you're failing at making me feel welcome."

I scowled at him, "I'm not here to make you feel welcome smart ass."

He snickered, "Feisty, I like it."

I rolled my eyes, "How old are you anyways? Ten?" it was a dumb estimation since the wolf gene already made him look like he was in his twenties.

"Why would I tell you my age when I don't even know who you are?"

Ugh, why did teenagers have to act so dumb and stubborn? "Sammy Alldredge."

He dropped the box he was holding and held out his hand for me to shake, "Eli Moore."

I stared at his huge hand and decided against shaking it, "Where are you from?"

"Seattle."

I didn't respond because I now knew for sure that he was going to phase. If only the damn leech didn't decide to go to Seattle before he moved here and cause the fever to set in his system. Then I wouldn't be stuck seeing that house again and I could let the pack take precautions for only a little while. It would all fade away soon if he wasn't going to phase. Sam would see that he wasn't affected by the leech's presence and leave him alone and I could live in the present instead of the past.

"What are you doing here anyways?"

I jumped back into reality, "I was just dropping by to see the new people on the res," which was only half the truth.

"Well you saw one of them," his eyes seemed to narrow, "I can't promise you'll see the other two nor do I think you'll want to."

And I found myself only paying attention to that part, hearing the disgust in his voice when he spoke the last few words, "Oh," I stared at his face, hoping to understand why he was suddenly getting upset. After a couple of minutes of getting absolutely nothing, I decided it was time for me to leave him alone, "I've got to go…but maybe I'll see you around," I said, knowing that it wasn't just a maybe it was a flat out I'll be seeing you more than I will ever want to.

"Yeah, maybe," and it suddenly seemed like his mind was somewhere else, somewhere extremely far away, "Bye."

I didn't get to respond before he turned around with the box in his hand and walked back to where he came from. I kept my eyes on him until he walked through the front door of the small blue house that I used to live in with the person who almost killed me.

If only I could get rid of these immortal scars that keep haunting me…

**So yes thats the preview! Hope you all enjoyed it! **

**You got to see a little bit of Eli and you figured out he is going to be a new wolf! I'm surprised that the majority voted Paul's cousin cause that was definitely a random choice I made up lol **

**next that will be posted is the epilogue of this story!**

**leave a review letting me know what you thought of this! :)**

**~KK**


	47. BFNM Closing StatementsSequel Info

Hello all my readers! :D I know I promised an epilogue for this story, but the epilogue ideas just aren't flowing for me and I kinda gave up on the idea. It was supposed to be Kim and Jared's wedding and I have about a quarter of it typed up, but I think I'm just going to make that a separate one shot once the ideas for it come back to me. Instead, the prologue for the new sequel came to me instead.

SOOOOO I'm going to post the prologue RIGHT NOW! :D :D :D EXCITED WOOOOO! GET PUMPED OMG IT'S HAPPENING WOOO WEEE YESSSS OMG NOM NOM NOM!

Ok….well yeah that's what's going on. If you would like to read it then go to my page and click on the new story Once Your Friend, Always Your Love. That's the title of it. :D The prologue will be up and if you are a fan of this story then please read and review because I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you all for your support with this story, but sadly it is over with but your dedication has led me to write the sequel so give yourselves a pat on the back.

Be happy, have a great day, and world peace…..yes

Love you all, Best Friends No More is officially CLOSED!

~KK


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